Katara lazily stirred the water in the sink, the dishes having long ago been cleaned. She was exhausted, but couldn't manage to get any sleep. With the war over and some of their own structures restored, the North had practically sent an army of benders and warriors to help their sister tribe. Her father had welcomed them with open arms and a grateful smile, but four months in, they were really starting to get on her nerves.
Sighing, Katara sat down at the kitchen table, stretching her legs out in front of her. Along with the Northern tribesmen and women had come their stupid oppressive ideals. Pakku willingly worked with her, but many of the others didn't quite seem to share his enthusiasm for readjusting their sexist views. So far, no one but her seemed intent on changing that right away.
"It's only for a few months, Katara," she grumbled, mimicking what Pakku constantly told her.
Every day, she kept her mouth shut, but the anger built, and she could feel it reaching a peak in the last few days as some of the older girls wanted to learn to fight. They'd readily accepted their training in healing, eager to know how to care for their families. As they watched the warriors with their spears and daggers, the Southern girls felt another desire rising within them. They'd been there for the raids just as Katara had; they'd seen their families devastated and had wanted to be able to protect them. Then Katara had returned to them, a master bender, showing them that such power was within their reach.
Those Northern fools were adamant in their denial.
"Hey Katara," Sokka said, coming to sit next to her at the table.
"Hey Sokka," she said tiredly, dropping her head to the table. "Shouldn't you be going to bed? You've got to be up early."
Really, she wanted Sokka to go to bed because the night belonged to her. It was the one time that she allowed herself to drop the mask, to mourn all the things that she lost. Sokka had other ideas, though, trying to start late night conversations with her more frequently in the past weeks, perhaps noticing that she was getting angrier during the day. Maybe if he left her to her thoughts at night she wouldn't be wound so tightly.
"You have to get up early, too. Besides, I was hoping we could talk for a bit."
Sighing, Katara dipped her shoulder to get out of her brother's touch. She knew what he wanted to talk about, and that was the exact thing that she did not want to talk about. She didn't want to talk about firebenders and best friends. She didn't want to talk about the way he'd dodged her touch after nearly shooting Jet with lightning, or that he'd been so frustrated, and hadn't even confided in her. She didn't want to admit that him being Fire Lord meant they wouldn't be able to share secrets like they used to. She didn't want to admit that she was barely holding it together.
"I know you mean well, Sokka—"
"No, Katara, it's not that. I mean… I did mean well. But I messed up."
She silently pleaded with him, begged him not to say that name.
"You haven't been the same since we've come back."
"It's just that… that happened, and then the North showed up, and we've been under a lot of stress."
Katara looked at her brother, and sighed. It felt like only months ago they'd been children watching their father sailing off to war, not knowing if he'd ever come back. So much had changed them since then. People looked up to them, sought them out to thank them and congratulate them. It felt that, overnight, they'd become heroes and protectors.
"Do you ever feel like you don't deserve their praise?" she whispered.
"Almost every day. And sometimes, I just want to yell at them that we had to do it because they weren't. Even if I know that's not fair." Sokka sighed heavily. "We just happened to be the ones to find Aang."
This time when Sokka put his arm on her shoulder, Katara didn't shrug away from him.
"You're a good brother, Sokka."
He winced, regret clear on his face. "Even after what I did? Even after I hurt both you and Z—"
"Please, Sokka, don't. Don't say his name."
But it was too late; the tears were already there, the pain blossoming in her heart. Katara put her hand on her chest, imagining that she could push the pain back inside her. Sokka was quick to grab her and hold her, and she sobbed bitterly against his shoulder, and he whispered how sorry he was over and over again, how he should have minded his own business.
"It's so much more than that, Sokka," she said between choked sobs.
By chance, they had found Aang, and they'd travelled with him, helping him master the elements, helping him defeat Ozai. They'd given up their childhood, and now, helping rebuild her nation, hearing people praise her and ask her opinion, Katara was just beginning to realize that the world would always be demanding something of them. Because of whom they'd been when they were still so young, the world would always lay claim to them.
And if her duty was to the world, it could never be to herself. There would never be a future where it was ok for her to love.
The sun had barely risen, and already the South was alive with activity. She'd sat in on two healing classes as the girls were taught everything from sewing up wounds to which plants were poison. They listened intently, those from both the North and the South, though Katara had been acutely aware of them eyeing her water skins the whole time. When those young, determined blue eyes looked up at her with awe and admiration, how could she deny them? They looked so much like she had, only there was less fear in their eyes.
"Remember, ladies, the importance of a good fire," the Northern healer, Chena, was saying. "A fire will sustain you through the night, should you be caught outside with no shelter. Though no young woman should ever be caught alone outside."
Katara physically bit her tongue, focused her mind on creating an ice spike, pulling it out of the ground, then pounding it back down with her fist. Chena raised an eyebrow, but Katara ignored her.
"Are there any questions, ladies?" Chena.
One young girl, Ana, raised her hand, but Chena scowled.
"Please, Ana, we're learning about healing. There are enough warriors."
The fire in front of Chena sputtered in a slight breeze, and a little more of the fire in Ana's eyes died. Katara swallowed thickly. Ana turned her head away, mumbling 'never mind' as she stirred the snow in front of her with a finger. This wasn't right. It wasn't fair. There was no reason for the North to deny their women the same strength and power they gave their men. That was the very reason her grandmother had traveled across the world, during a war, no less. It was one of the things that fundamentally separated the South from its sister tribe. It was the thing that allowed her to experience everything that she had. Katara breathed sharply, in and out, reaching out with her bending, feeling the water, feeling that power surge through her. She remembered the way this feeling had eluded her for so long, and how complete she'd let when she had control of her bending.
Katara fought against the tears, remembering that moment when she'd stood in front of Yon Rha, finally able to admit to herself that she was not some weak, pathetic, helpless little girl. The moment when she'd held her arms out and commanded the rain. It had been empowering. She had felt alive. It wasn't when she'd finally got Pakku to teach her that she'd truly felt powerful. It wasn't when she fought alongside the warriors during the Day of Black Sun. It was that moment when she stood up against her nightmares and confronted them.
She'd had someone to fight for her, though, someone to argue that it was her choice to make, to spare Yon Rha's life or to take it. She'd had someone who understood the weight of that specter and the pain of helplessness. These girls didn't have that, and it was clear that they desperately needed someone who would argue for them. Someone who would fight for them.
"No more…"
Everyone turned to look at her, giving her questioning looks. Katara looked at each of those girls in turn, saw herself in them, and knew that this could not be. This would not be. It was not what she'd fought for.
Clenching her fist, Katara drew her ice spike from the ground, and with a grunt, punched it down hard enough for the ground beneath them to tremble.
"Master Katara…"
"I have had enough," she said, glaring at Chena. "This ends here. It ends now. It ends today."
There was so much swirling inside of her, so much pain, so much regret, so much anger. Practically ripping the buttons off of her coat, Katara shrugged it off and forcefully tossed it to the ground. The girls watched her. The youngest was six-year-old Aluki from the South, the oldest seventeen year old Puja from the North, a waterbender denied the full strength of her craft. Puja was older than Katara, but she still had that same look of powerlessness, and it just wasn't right.
"If you want to learn to fight and to hunt, to defend yourself and your tribe, follow me," Katara told the shocked girls.
"Master Katara, that is not how we do things!"
"In the North, maybe, but you will not come down here and stunt our women. We are warriors."
Something primal inside her stirred, and she gave in to it, throwing aside the tent flaps and stepping out into the bright light of the day. If they wanted her to be a hero and a leader, then she would do it, but it would be on her own terms. Katara popped the caps off her water skins, all four of them, and filled them until they strained against the seams. She marched past the benders creating structures from snow, their movements taunting the girls that she knew trailed behind her.
"No more," she growled, clenching her fists.
People were turning to watch her procession, stopping in their work, and as they neared the docks, she could hear Sokka calling her, first with excitement, then apprehension. An ocean of people in blue parted in front of her, and there, practicing with his stupid male waterbenders, was the other Northern master.
"Naneq!"
The waterbending master stopped, sending his water back to the ground, and his students formed a line off to his right. Katara would take every one of them if it meant saving these girls. Naneq strode forward, his gait cocky. Every time Katara had tried to approach this subject civilly, Naneq was always the first one to talk her down. Then Pakku would chime in, with his bit about it just being a little while longer, and Hakoda would tell her that they needed this help, that they could tackle this later. Only her Gran Gran seemed to understand.
"Master Katara," Naneq said, his arms crossed and a cocky smile on her face. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"Can it," she barked. "I have new students for you, and I will fight you for their right to learn, just as I fought Pakku."
"Please not this again," he said, rolling his eyes. "We have had this conversation, many times before."
Naneq waved his hand at her dismissively, turning to walk back to his students. Katara needed these girls to see that they could command respect, that they deserved it.
"It would appear we need to have this conversation again," she growled at him.
"Katara, wait!"
Sokka was running up next to her, shaking her shoulder.
"What are you doing? What's gotten into you?"
When she turned to her brother, her eyes narrowed, he took a few steps back. "All through the war, I fought to help people, Sokka. That's who I am. There are still people who need me."
"I'm sure there's another way…"
Sokka looked at her, pleaded for her to back down, but it was too late. She'd crossed the threshold.
"Listen to your brother. Do not—"
Naneq's words were cut off as she made her attack. She ripped the water from the ground, forming it into a giant ice dagger, yelling as she sent it hurtling toward him. Naneq sent up a hasty shield, surprised by the force of her attack as her dagger pushed through, stopping inches from his face. She did not relent. Naneq was on the defensive, and she kept him that way, twisting and bringing a wave of water crashing into the older man from his left, and as his second hasty shield was shattered, pushing him to the right, she pulled up a column of ice. Naneq crashed into it.
"I know the frustration on their faces," Katara called, resetting her stance. "I know the anger in their hearts."
She dashed forward, but this time Naneq was ready for her. The ground rumbled beneath her, and as she moved, tendrils of water tried to stab at her feet. She dodged them the best she could, barely wincing as one jabbed at her ankle, and when she was closer, she bent a hammer of ice, slamming it down on Naneq's head. Eyes wide, Naneq liquefied the ground beneath him, and Katara refroze it, closing her hand into a fist and making the ice tighten around the master's body.
"Impressive," Naneq chuckled. He shattered the ice and climbed out of the hole. "Though you did study under Pakku, even if you had to manipulate him to get him to do it."
Her eye twitched. "Manipulate?"
"Do you think Pakku would have trained you if it hadn't been for your grandmother's necklace?"
Katara could hold it in no more. With a powerful stomp, the ground shattered underneath Naneq, and she swung her arms, Foggy Swamp style, coaxing the ice to shoot into the air, keeping Naneq on his toes as he dodged shooting columns of ice. When he fell over, she split the ground, then clapped her hands, encasing the master in ice. His students might have thought their master was in trouble, but Katara knew better. There were spectators, now, both Northern and Southern, and Katara would give them a real show. Spinning, she sent a wave crashing into Naneq's students, and as she drew the water back to her she saw Naneq himself, rushing toward her, surfing on the ice, slapping it down in front of him and as he neared, he sent ice spikes toward her head. Yelling, Katara gloved her forearm in ice and collected those spikes. She shoved her hands into his ice, struggling to turn it into water again.
With her hands firmly in the water that Naneq bent, she could feel his will, could feel him fighting against her, but she was so done.
"I am the master you would have denied!"
She forced everything she had into the water, felt the very moment her will overtook his and ripped the water out from under him. Naneq went crashing to the ground, landing hard on his shoulder, everyone gasping in shock. Katara spun the water around herself, feeling her element envelop her, feeling her strength.
"I am the tempest!"
She raised herself inside her globe of water, towering over Naneq. She focused on his prone form, punching out ice missiles, forcing Naneq to roll out of the way. She waited for him to hastily get to his feet, then smacked him with water whip after water whip.
"I am the raging storm!"
She moved then, Foggy Swamp style, her globe thundering down toward Naneq, and the man barely moved in time as she crashed into the ground, letting the water absorb the brunt of the fall, and Naneq turned, sending missile after missile toward her, but Katara only slapped them out of the air.
"I am the water."
Katara was standing right in front of Naneq, chest heaving, barely aware that she was crying. She stared right into his angry blue eyes and dared him to challenge her again, dared him to call her a little girl or to say that women were unable to fight. She had one last trick up her sleeve, and right then, she knew she wouldn't hesitate to use it, to make him cower and beg the way he made those girls cower and beg.
"I am a warrior," she growled at him. "Those girls have every potential to be warriors, just like their brothers and their fathers. Do not be a fool and leave them powerless."
She didn't dare to turn away from him just yet, waiting for the defiance she knew would come. Naneq grit his teeth as he stared at her, looked like he was going to form words, and Katara readied herself. At the slightest word from him, she was ready… To what? Rubbing at her eyes, Katara breathed deeply, forcing out air and frustration. With great effort, she turned her back and walked toward the group of girls. The more she wiped at her tears, the more she cried, and when she reached the girls, she saw that her father and grandmother were there as well, standing next to Sokka, and she collapsed into her father's arms, and he held her and rubbed her back as she cried. The damn had burst inside of her, and when her legs gave out, the girls came to her, supported her, and she loved them. She loved them because they were her as she had been, and they had the potential to be her as she never could be. Eight year old Ana looked at her, her eyes bright, her fire rekindled.
Carefully, gingerly, Ana moved her hand up and down in a motion Katara knew too well. She felt the tears being pulled away from her face, and soon Ana had a tiny globe of them. She scrunched her face in concentration and handed the globe to Katara.
"Even if he won't teach us," she said. "Thank you, Master Katara."
"And I still won't teach them," Naneq said, holding his arm. "If you want the Southern daughters to learn, then you teach them, since you're such a master."
Ana's face crumbled, even though she tried to keep on a brave face, and Katara whipped around, reaching for a different element, relishing the surprise and fear in Naneq's eyes as his body went rigid. She ignored Sokka telling her that she'd made a promise, that it wasn't right what she was doing. She didn't hold him for long, just long enough for him to realize that she, a fifteen year old girl, would always outclass him.
"This is about so much more than that," Katara said, pushing against fatigue to stand tall. "This is about helping your tribe grow stronger. This is about acknowledging the strength that your women have. This is about the sacrifice that I make every day so that this world can have peace."
She doubted anything would change Naneq's mind. He would not teach these girls, and she didn't want him to. This was who the South needed her to be; she needed to be their strength, the one to push them to be better.
"The Avatar has already given us peace," Naneq said. "The war is over. You have played your part, and you played it bravely Katara."
"Please, Naneq," Hakoda said, stepping forward. "When you go back to the North, you can hold to your own customs. Would it hurt you, for just the little while that you are here, to teach our daughters?"
"And what would that prove?"
"It would prove that your tribe is a unit," Katara said, punching and sending an ice ball right into Naneq's stomach. "In the South, our women held our tribe together while the men were away at war. We hunted, we fought, we led. We survived."
"The North has survived just fine, if you hadn't noticed."
"What you do isn't surviving. There is no balance. You will not grow. You will not be better."
She turned her back on Naneq and knelt before Ana, and the young girl threw her arms around Katara. Then the other girls piled on, and for one brief moment, Katara felt that hole inside her disappear.
"Whenever I am here, whenever you are here, I will teach you."
She couldn't let them feel the hurt that she did.
A/N: This chapter, more than anything I've ever written, I think, completely got away from me. It all sparked from the line I am the master you would have denied. That turned it into a Katara empowerment chapter. I think the North would try to impose their will on the South now (rather than in Korra's time because, what the hell, the South is already re-established, dudes). Of course, this would chafe on Katara, and because she's loud, bossy and impulsive, she'd be constantly speaking out about this. Pakku would know that the North isn't going to change their minds anytime soon, and Hakoda would get this, too, both telling her that once the North is gone, they can go about their business. I don't think Katara would be down for this, especially as she sees the young girls looking at her and wondering why they can't be fighters just like her. It doesn't matter that the fighting is technically done; it's still soon after the war and they're still scared. Knowing they can defend themselves means that they don't have to be afraid anymore. And Katara's been there, she's been afraid, and I think it's very natural for her to give in to her rage and become their protector. It also became important to me that Katara's moment of "finding herself/her place in the South" to be something to come from her. I didn't want her pining away for lost love, though those emotions definitely do play into it. It's also quite a bit about banishing her demons. Overall, I'm quite happy with the way this turned out.