My heart was racing as Zim looked into my eyes. Hazel met magenta. Only I saw those endless pools of magenta and it made the moment so much more meaningful to me. Made me feel...special. The way we glazed at one another set the mood; the atmosphere for kissing. I was still a little confused of the idea of Zim wanting to kiss me. But I pray to God that Zim wanted to because he felt the same way I did. At this moment I couldn't deny it. I loved Zim to some degree.
"Yes." The Irken responded to my previous question. That was my cue, time to lean in. And I did, just like last time. Zim sat up straight and still as if he was waiting for something he truly deserved. I was afraid Gir would make an unexpected appearance or scream randomly. But no, everything was perfect.
Our lips connected.
Zim's lips were chilly and I couldn't believe it. I wanted to kiss the alien that much harder just to warm up those cool jade lips. I lingered there and Zim stayed in place. For some reason I felt like Zim didn't want me to pull away, just by the way he kept my lips locked with mine. They screamed don't let go. But much to my displeasure, I had to.
When I pulled away I flattered my eyes half open, I saw Zim doing the same. Once again we stared at each other, my eyes solid and honey brown and Zim's mysterious and had an almost raspberry tinge to them.
I watched as Zim slowly brushed his fingertips on his lips. His alien face filled with curiosity. I looked at him, questioning his bizarre reaction and Zim looked at me like I was some holy figure.
"It tingles." Zim said in a soft voice. I smirked.
"Is it a good tingle?" I asked.
"A very good tingle." He smiled and I smiled back.
I figured now was the best time to get my feelings across to Zim. The kiss was not only a tease but a simmer of hope. I was too scared to say anything before, I still am now, but I've faced more terrifying ordeals then this! I needed to man up or something. So I took a deep breath.
"Um, Zim, Can I ask you something?" I said in a shy voice instead of that confident voice I was looking for.
"Sure, Dib." he replied casually.
"Would you...um like to do more of that?" I tried to keep my eyes on Zim but they kept averting elsewhere.
"So much more~!" Zim cooed with a wide grin.
"R-Really!" I said in utter shock. My heart was doing cartwheels as I wore a goofy grin. Suddenly I felt thin arms wrap around my neck and Zim whispered in my ear.
"It's about time you confessed to Zim."
My face went red. Zim knew? For how long? Was it obvious?
"C-confessed? I simply asked if you wanted to...kiss more." I made a nervous laugh.
"Who are you trying to convince, Dib-human?" Zim said almost seductively. It was just a kiss, I mean no need to get all seductive on me Zim! It was a little hard to breath with Zim practically all over me.
"Zim...why didn't you say anything before...if you knew." I asked in a low voice trying to cover up my sudden arousal. Zim backed away and looked at me.
"Urm...I kind of figured you would first." he looked away blushing. It was quite the sight and I loved seeing Zim like this.
I laughed. "Oh Zim...it's not like you to hide things like that. Do you feel the same...about me?" I lowered my head but made sure to keep my eyes on Zim. It was a lot easier now.
Zim looked at me. It was funny because he lowered his head too and still kept my glaze. Were we ashamed to admit that we were hiding our feelings from each other?
"Zim isn't sure what he feels...it's a nice...but not nice feeling." He tried to explain.
I could see the confusion on the alien's face. I gave Zim a genuine smile and cupped his left cheek with my hand. He was startled by the action but locked eyes with me. I couldn't believe all of this was happening! Can I really call it a dream come true?
"That's ok, I feel the same." I paused. "I really like you Zim." Finally! I said it, it wasn't as difficult as I imagined and I felt good after I said it. But I felt amazing when Zim replied.
"I like you too, Dib." He said, giving me a smile. I hugged Zim again and this time Zim hugged back with a sigh. Was it a sigh in relief or bliss? I bet it was both. We separated; both of us had that look of a heavy burden being lifted on our faces.
"Wow, I never thought this could actually happen." I said sheepishly, still a little nervous about Zim feeling the same about me; happy nonetheless.
"I hoped it would." Zim replied sheepishly as well. That was the best answer I could have received, I almost cried those tears of joy again. Almost.
Zim told me that he dozed off when the ship ran through the asteroid belt. I laughed, not really at the incident but the fact that we looked like a couple before we officially became one. Me sleeping on Zim's lap and Zim slumped at the side a little, sleeping as well. The thought made me all warm inside.
Right off the bat of our new relationship, Zim got comfortable in my lap. He was playing with the main menu thing again and I sat behind him with my legs bent by his sides. When he was done he'd lay his back against my stomach, the connection made my stomach turn in a great way. Gir was drinking some giant ass drink beside us. I was kind of bored, happy as hell, but I wanted to talk to Zim more. And I wondered about the whole "Invaders don't love" thing Zim told me.
I started off with a fairly simple question. "So...do you know much about boyfriends and all that stuff?"
Zim tilted his head up a little and made a thoughtful noise in his throat. " I vaguely read about them..." he said.
"I don't know much either, but I'm supposing it'll come natural to me, being the human and all."
Then Zim turned to look at me, giving me a disapproving look. I stared at him, not sure what I said wrong.
"Are you implying that just because you're a smelly human, that you are better at being a boyfriend than Zim!" he said in offence. Figures Zim would make our new relationship a competition. He did it when we became friends too; claiming that he will make the better friend to me than I will to him. I didn't think he knew the deeper meaning to that, which made me laugh.
"Well, not entirely...I mean you did say that invaders don't really...you know...feel and stuff..." I tried to avoid the "L" word during our first hours of being a couple. But I regretted saying that because Zim gave me this depressed look and turned forwards.
I tried to take back what I said immediately, "Uh but I know you'll be a good boyfriend either way! Not like that really-" Then Zim cut me off.
"It's fine, Dib." he said solemnly and I began to worry. Did I really insult him! I asked myself. "I think...I should tell you something." he said shortly after.
I nodded but realized Zim was facing away from me. "Ok." I said.
He took a deep breath then thought for a minute. The words were simple but did it ever make a statement.
"I'm a defect."
I just looked at the back of Zim's head, not sure were the sudden insult upon him came from. I was about to ask but it was like he read my mind.
"But before you say anything, I'll explain what I mean." I felt a little depressed by the fact that Zim didn't want to look at me when he talked.
"In the Irken elite, it was forbidden to poses any type of emotion besides loyalty to our mighty Tallests, dedication to our missions and the need to cause destruction upon other species. I had them all, all three, but I, unlike every other Irken soldier, had more. Making me a defect. We were never taught how to suppress these foreign feelings because we weren't even supposed to have them in the first place. But my dream was to be an invader so I had to learn how to suppress them myself. It was very difficult at first but I got used to it...once I was finally assigned my planet I was set, everything was going according to plan." He paused and I wanted to say something but waited for Zim to finish.
"I came to earth as you know...met you...we hated each other and I began to realize that I hated you most because you were allowed to show emotion freely and whenever you wanted. I wasn't, I felt that if I did, it would make me a failure and I suffered too much to become a failure. Of course it didn't help when you foiled all my plans...but I continued to brush it off. Once high school came and grade 9 passed, those emotions rose to the surface like a seal had broken and I was once again infected by them. I couldn't seal them back up like I did on Irk because every individual around me had them, on Irk, it was the opposite. I grew tired of trying to re-seal my emotions near the end of grade 10 and that's when I told you I wanted a break, I wasn't lying about that Dib." When Zim addressed my name I perked up a little, I didn't know why but I made a 'Mmm' sound to let him know I was listening. He continued once again.
"I thought that if I experienced enough of these emotions that I would get sick of them and never feel them again..." he sighed and I wrapped my arms around his slim waist and pulled him back to lay on my stomach again. I was hoping it would relax him and it seemed to work as he adjusted to the position.
"But boy was I wrong. Or maybe I just picked the worst person to exercise my feelings with...you made me feel like...these emotions were good...and they were when I felt them around you. Suddenly I didn't want to let them go...I wanted to keep them." Zim sighed again, but it was that relief/blissful sigh.
I didn't know what to say, I was honestly speechless. I had no idea I made Zim feel that way or that he felt actual feelings, not in the slightest. I planted a kiss on Zim's cheek and he made the cutest giggling noise.
"I'm glad to hear that, Zim." I told him. I really didn't want to ruin the fluffy little moment we had but I needed to know one more thing...
"If you felt like that...then why did you tell me that invaders didn't have feelings? You know, that shot all hope I had for telling you my feelings." I said, resting my chin on Zim's petite shoulder.
I didn't expect Zim to bust out laughing at my comment so it hurt a little. After he was done laughing, he apologized and explained himself.
"Actually Dib...that was Zim's failed attempt at asking you out..." he laughed sheepishly now. My eyes went wide.
"How do you figure!" I said in complete shock, I really didn't understand how telling me I had no chance with him was equivalent to asking me out.
"Eh, well, I asked you about dating and stuff...and uh that didn't work out since you started acting indifferent to it...so I felt a little...inferior..." he went quite.
I couldn't believe it...Zim was going to ask me out so long ago and I blew it without even knowing of it. I felt like smashing my head against the metal walls of the cruiser. I actually shot down Zim's hopes before he shot down mine but I couldn't had possible known Zim motives with the knowledge I had about him.
"Zim, I had no idea...I didn't want to say I wanted to date girls cause...well, I liked you so..." I tried to explain.
"It's fine...I over-reacted when I told you that invaders had no feelings...I don't like feeling inferior so I started to act superior of course." Zim admitted.
I didn't even have to see Zim's face to know he was grinning at that. He loved anything to do with the word 'superior'. I was really glad we had this conversation; it made us that much closer. Plus Zim's weird behaviour made a lot of sense now. I nuzzled my head into the croak of Zim's neck and Zim gentle placed his hands over mine and we lay there in peace. Gir just finishing his suck monkey.
The dreadful moment has come. I was really hoping we would be home before this situation but according to Zim we won't be home for a while. I wondered why it was taking so long to get back to earth but there were more important issues at hand like urination.
"Um...Zim?"
The alien was still in my lap when he turned to look at me. It was going to be really embarrassing to ask this.
"Uh...I have to you know...go." I said quietly, remembering how I told Zim to fuck off last time we talked about this.
Zim seemed to almost leap out of my lap as his face grew darker and he said 'oh'. I just looked to the side; my face also grew darker than usual. Zim got up and headed to the back of the voot cruiser. I hung my legs off the side of the couch and stared at Zim. To be more precise, I was staring at Zim's butt. So round and small...it popped out of those super tight pants. Oh dear God I have to look away or urination wouldn't be my only problem. When did I become physically attracted to Zim? I asked myself.
Zim was in that small door Gir used a lot to get food and stuff. Not all of the small Irken could fit, therefore he had to bend over and put his upper half inside while I was being 'tortured' by the bottom half.
"Whatcha' lookin' at?" Gir yelled, as usual, causing me to jump in my seat.
"N-Nothing!" I sounded so guilty. Gir just titled his head then he did something very unexpected, and this is Gir we're talking about! He went up to Zim and...smack! Again, I jumped.
"OW!" Zim yelped and ripped his body out of the door frame to rub the now sore butt cheek Gir had slapped. " GIR! WHAT THE HEL!" Zim yelled at his stupid robot, who giggled in his hands. Zim didn't look very impressed, not at all. I couldn't help but laugh a little and that got me the same stare as Gir.
"And you find this funny, Dib-filth?" Zim asked almost innocently.
I had my hand in front of my mouth. "A little..."
Zim made hmph. "Well, perhaps Zim should just let you piss your pants then. I would find thatvery funny myself."
I stopped laughing and began whining. "Aww, come on Zim. You know I don't mean any harm." I crawled towards Zim, who crossed his arms and made an angry pout face. To be honest, this isn't much different than how we acted when we were friends. I stopped next to him thinking why was I getting in shit for something I didn't even do?
I kissed Zim on the forehead to try and make it all better.
"He didn't hit me on the forehead Dib." Zim said courtly. I looked at him then got what he meant.
"Oh God, Zim. I'm not kissing your ass, dirty alien." I narrowed my eyes at him. Zim began to push me away and I wasn't sure why but I decided that the least I could do was rub it. Zim gasped as I quickly slid my hand to the left side of Zim's bottom and began to rub. It was so soft and tender; I swear I was drooling.
"How about this?" I asked in a soft voice.
Zim draped his arms over my back and nuzzled my neck while making 'Mmm" sounds in his throat. I could do that all day...or night, it's impossible to tell in space, but I really had to pee.
I slowed down. "Will you let me pee now?"
Zim nodded and stretched his arm into the door and pulled out...plastic cups. I completely stopped rubbing and my jaw dropped dramatically.
"Nooo..." I whispered, mostly to the cups.
Zim gave me a nervous smile. "Eh...yeah..." was all he could say.
I looked at the cups for a long time. Zim began to open the package they were in and I had the slightest urge to utter an 'I hate you' at Zim but didn't want to risk anything. Then a plastic cup of doom was shoved in my view.
"Are you sure there's nothing else to..." I pleaded. Zim shook his head and I made the most exaggerated sigh.
"What will I do with it after..." I asked reluctantly.
Zim turned around and pointed to a little circle in the walls of the ship. "You'll dump it in there." he turned back to me and wore a worried expression. My face was pale. Very pale.
"Dib? It's...not that bad." he tried to cheer me up but then I thought of something.
"Can't I just...go...into the circle thing." I said staring at it. Zim stared at me then looked to the compartment thoughtfully.
"I guess so." He looked back at me. "But if you miss-" I cut him off with a cheerful glee.
"I won't!" and with that I got up and eyed the circle. Zim got up behind me and showed me how it opened. There was a tube bending down and I looked to my side to see that Zim was still there.
"Well..?" I said hinting for him to leave but he didn't catch the hint.
"Well? Go." He commanded, not in a mean way but he seemed to want to stay.
"I can't with you watching me, Zim!"
"I wanna see!" Zim whined a bit and my face was burning like acid.
"See what!" I yelled. Zim was a bit startled and I felt a little bad but seriously, did he not know of privacy? Just because we're dating doesn't mean he should watch me pee.
"Fine, Fine. No need to get all defensive, Dib-baby." and he head back to the couch. I simply grumbled not wanting to say anything, just wanting to pee. I liked the new nick name, it would have sounded sexy if Zim wasn't using it as an insult.
After I was done, I was in my cheery mood again, in fact, I was cheerier. I went back to Zim and saw that he was laying down, fatal position. I asked if he was ok and he said yeah. When I sat down at the end of the couch, Zim put his legs over mine and slid down so my thigh made contact with that nice little bum of his. I looked at him and he had that curious look on his face.
"Why couldn't Zim watch?" he said, referring to me peeing. My face went red again.
"Because...we may be together now but that doesn't mean we still can't have our own privacy."
Zim gave me a funny look. "What?" I said.
"It's just weird." that's all he was going to say?
"How!"
He looked down at me. "On Irk, couples don't have their own 'privacy'." he looked a little mad. Were we fighting already!
"Oh...well, I didn't know that. Plus I prefer if you didn't watch me pee...I'm not used to that...at all." I looked at my hands as I twiddled my thumbs.
"You could get used to it." I looked at Zim, he was serious.
"Not really."
"Are you ashamed of your human reproductive organ? I heard small ones are undesirable." he said casually and I almost gagged.
"Zim! Why would you say that?"
he just sighed and sat up on his elbows, rolling his alien eyes. "I'm just saying! If you're not happy with your 'size' then I don't care." he looked right at me as if he was trying to tell me something. I swallowed a lump in my throat.
"What are you implying?" I asked wearily.
Zim smirked and went right up to my tomato coloured face. "I'm going to see 'it' sooner or later." he licked my burning hot cheek. I could faint right about now. But I collected myself. I guess I'm going to have to discuss the topic of 'sex' to Zim. He obviously knows about it but did he know the meaning of it? That deep connection it brings to people who engage in it?
"How much do you know about sex...?"
Ohhh, the birds and the bees~