The Convent

Hearing Tony confirm his worst fears was more humiliating that EJ had imagined. He'd been warned by every one of his siblings, or at least the ones who'd survived what Stefano had done to them but convinced his situation was different, he'd ignored their counsel. After all, he was special. His father would never treat him as he had the others. And because of his conceit, Samantha had almost died. And Tony. How close he'd come to experiencing what he thought had taken place at the hospital today and closing his eyes was hardly necessary for him to see Tony lying in that bed…lifeless.

He wished he could feel numb instead of the burning rage that was taking over, or worse, the disgust. He knew Tony was looking at him, worried but he couldn't face him. How was he ever going to be able to face his brother again? How was he going to face Samantha? God, he'd sworn to her that he'd protect her…that he'd never allow his father to harm her or Johnny.

"If it was Stefano, then Samantha is still in danger, isn't she?"

"I don't think so and neither does…well, that doesn't matter. There is someone who else who is though, or will be as I doubt he's gong to let go of this."

EJ frowned but still wouldn't look Tony in the eye. "Who?"

"Rafe Hernandez."

That name. Hearing it was like getting a knife twisted in his gut. It was bad enough Samantha relished shoving her appreciation of the man in EJ's face as though he was everything EJ was not, but knowing he could have prevented all of it so easily made EJ sick.

A few feet away in the pew, Tony watched his brother torturing himself. He'd known this was going to be bad, but sitting here silently with EJ in front of him in such pain was one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do. He hated himself for it, but not as much as he hated Stefano for making it necessary. EJ had to learn…the hard way if necessary. And he told himself, dealing with this was nothing compared to the alternative …watching EJ lose the woman he loved and perhaps his children and his sanity.

Tony would do pretty much anything to prevent that.

"Are you saying that Rafe suspects Stefano's involvement?" came EJ's question after a moment.

"He does now."

"Why would that be?"

Suddenly EJ was staring at him with almost a look of accusation in his eyes.

"Because," explained Tony, "he has contacts at the ISA, who suspected from the beginning that Father had something to do with it."

"The same as you and Lexie did."

"Yes," Tony agreed.

"And just who did you mention those suspicions to?"

For a second the two men faced each other, EJ glaring while Tony anticipated the very likely scenario his brother would explode when he heard the answer to his question.

"Shane Donovan."

EJ's eyes darkened until they were nearly black. "You went to the ISA."

Tony nodded. He was damned if the was going to make excuses for his decisions after what Stefano had done. Someone had to stop the bastard.

"How could you?"

"The same way," said Tony in a cool tone, "you turned your back on your sister and I after what those two bastards did to Benji and both of us. My God, what they did to all of us."

Without even the blink of an eye, EJ grabbed Tony's shirt, twisting it in his fist. Tony didn't fight him. Instead he met EJ's wild gaze directly and in a calm voice, said, "You can't have both, brother, It's either Father's trust or Samantha's because he's never going to allow you to have a life on your terms. To him, she is your weakness."

"Even if you're right, that is not your decision, Tony."

"I know," said his brother with a short nod, "and if you choose Father, so be it, but again, you're not the only one involved, or stuck between Father and a chance at love and I'm not going to make apologies for doing what it takes to stay alive or keep my wife safe, certainly not to you." The last few words dripped with sarcasm as well as regret and fear and Tony could see that they stung EJ deeply. Slowly, his hand loosened and he let go of Tony's shirt.

"Okay, but why didn't you come to m…"

Tony let the word EJ choked off hang between them a moment before he answered. "Exactly."

Unable to sit still any longer, EJ jumped to his feet and began to pace in front of the pew. "There had to be another way."

"Perhaps, but I wasn't willing to waste time searching until it was too late."

"If they find the proof, they're going to lock him up."

A snort of rude laughter escaped Tony at that. "If only we could be so lucky."

EJ glared. "He's still my father and I…"

"Love him, and he uses that love every minute of every day to betray you Elvis." EJ wanted to rail against what Tony was saying, scream, holler, insist it wasn't true, take those words and shove them down his brother's throat, but Tony wasn't finished, "he's lied to you from the moment he stepped back into that house last year and will continue to do so until those lies strangle you along with everything you hold dear, especially the women you love. Believe me, I detest the situation as much as you do but I've lived though it. Twice."

Having been consumed with his own pain for most of the day, EJ teetered at his limit, and Tony pointing out his naiveté didn't help matters any. He turned away, but the reality pursued him relentlessly now. He'd already lost a brother to his father's obscene desire to survive at all costs and while he and Benji hadn't been close, the memory of his body laid out beside the grave in which Andre buried him alive remained with a clarity that haunted him, and now the brother he'd gotten a second chance with, the one who'd come back had very nearly met the same fate.

The whole mess was wretched and he felt as though he were being torn in two. He adored his father, beyond reason. Even the shock of what he'd done upon his return from Italy with Andre's assistance hadn't been enough to curb EJ's need to please the old man. It had been far too easy to blame it all on his cousin. Yet who brought the monster back time and time again, no matter what horror he perpetrated and always the games backfired so that they ended up destroying the lives of EJ and his brothers and sisters.

True, the three of them were alive but Alexandra was lucky to even have a marriage after his father's antics, and he'd begun to learn things about Tony's past he'd not heard until recently, things that were unnerving…things that make him question his Father's sanity and self-proclaimed devotion to his family.

And his brother's past could easily become EJ's future.

"There's more."

Only two words, but they cut into EJ's thoughts with a distinct air of purpose. And reluctance. Hearing it, EJ couldn't face Tony but he listened.

"It's about your daughter."

A moment of silence followed, as though Tony were waiting for a reaction of some kind and finally EJ prompted, "Yes?"

"She beautiful…"

More silence and irritated, EJ turned to confront Tony, sick of hearing insinuations when it came to Sydney or Nicole and getting no answers, but stopped in his tracks seeing a look of anguish in his brother's eyes.

"Tony please, whatever it is, just get on with it."

Collecting himself somewhat, Tony gave a nod and calmly said the words, each one enunciated so that they were unmistakable. "Sydney is not Nicole's child."

Denial was his first instinct since Tony's consideration for the woman was practically nonexistent. He'd been reserved, cool and then suspicious and his behavior only worsened after EJ accepted Stefano's job offer. EJ tried to remember what was going on at the time and as he thought back about the timing, many things began to fall into place; the mayor's death…Nicole's revelation about her pregnancy…Anna's departure from Salem…the beginning of his father's daily visits to the orchard.

What was Tony's attitude towards Nicole before that?

Though he racked his brain, EJ could come up with nothing out of the ordinary. Tony hadn't exactly ignored her. He'd been polite, though more wrapped up in his own affairs than deliberately aloof and seemed at first to keep his distance with the amused approach of an older brother towards the affairs of a younger, thinking perhaps it was nothing more than a passing fancy.

In other words, the one with a problem when it came to Nicole was Andre, not Tony.

Suddenly, his last moments with his cousin flashed back, and the note he'd tried to write. B…for what? Baby?

"I think you'd better explain yourself," said EJ in a quiet, controlled way that like Stefano, meant trouble. Tony's expression remained as it was, hiding none of his grief.

"I'm sorry EJ, more than I can say but Nicole lost your baby."

EJ's jaw clenched even tighter. "When?"

"After Thanksgiving."

He took a step backwards and nearly tripped on the communion rail.

"No…she was pregnant. I KNOW she was, she…" He felt his hand rubbing her growing belly…but never a kick. "You're suggesting I'm such a fool, I'd not know she was faking it, not know the difference? 'HOW FUCKING DARE YOU," he growled at his brother whose gaze became even sadder.

Despite EJ's accusation, Tony stayed silent.

"Oh, and now you have NOTHING to say?"

Slowly Tony, slid a hand into his pocket and produced a tiny disc, one EJ recognized as coming from the security system at the mansion with it's distinctive label. But there was no camera in his room, or Nicole's. He'd checked personally. And besides, if the proof originated from a security system at the mansion, even one he wasn't aware existed before today, that meant his father knew…

He shook his head vehemently. That was impossible. His father wouldn't do such a thing to him, ever. Wild eyes flew up to meet Tony's and unable to accept what he read there, ripped his own away to the altar and when that wasn't even enough, squeezed them shut to block it all out. How could this day to get any fucking worse?

That's when he heard the voices raised, apparently outside and he shot around towards the door. One belonged to Anna and the one shrieking at her was unmistakable.

Nicole

Tony heard them too and without checking to see if EJ followed, grabbed his hat and walked down the far side of the pews to the confessional booths and vanished into one of them.

Hesitating almost a minute as the yelling outside the doors escalated, EJ kicked at the pew in his way and reluctantly joined him.