A/N: firstly, I do not know when Philip found out about the Reynolds pamphlet, nor do I know how he found out. I am making up most of the facts presented here to suit my whimsy. I am assuming a spring holiday as I am currently on one. This is purely fiction so take what I say with a grain of salt, I just had so many thoughts after Blow Us All Away. This is simply my interpretation, as I have not seen the show. Note, that this story was originally written in first person, while I have carefully tried to fix it to be third person, I may not have caught them all so apologies. Please enjoy!
It was the spring holiday and Philip Hamilton was heading back home to New York. Philip was away at boarding school and was happy to be heading back home. He had mates but he missed his family. Philip missed his little sister Angelica and the little ones. They were always so fascinated by his going away. They would usually pounce on him for stories and escapades. His sister Angelica would laugh and later they would retreat to discuss any secrets or deep topics.
He missed his mother of course, she was always ready to welcome him and make him feel like the luckiest boy in the world. Philip was less eager to see his father though. Of course he did want to see him but with his father it would be intense. His time at home with his father would be spent with studies and lectures about government. He knew his father know cared deeply for him but Philip always dreamed of a holiday when he would not be pushed and allowed to relax.
He knew something was terribly wrong when he did not see his mother waiting for him at the front door. His father and all of the children were there. The kids all seemed happy but Angelica and his father looked tired. His father looked about 10 years older, greyer and more lined.
Philip was welcomed and everyone was happy to see him. But when he asked where his mother was before anyone could answer Alexander said, "She is resting."
"Is she alright?" he asked.
"Yes," he said quickly. He then turned and walked up to his study. Philip looked at Angelica and she said she would tell him that night when father was going to be out at some government meeting.
Philip noticed in that moment he did not beckon him into his office to chat. His father simply went into his office without prelude. Philip actually did want to discuss something in regards to a certain girl who caught his fancy. But since he had not been invited it would be rude to barge into the office. No, Philip decided he would have ample time to talk to him later.
It was a few hours before dinner and he wandered the familiar halls. The little ones asked him loads of questions about what Philadelphia was like and how school was. The afternoon seemed like that of any homecoming except without his parents.
That night at dinner was odd. For one Alexander and Philip's mother sat as far away as possible. His mother always sat at the right of his father and Philip on the left. But instead she sat at the far end. She looked incredibly tired but she was happy to see me. The family had idle chatter about school and the lovely weather. Conversation died quickly and dinner was silent. Alexander excused himself without explanation and left. A few moments later hearing the heavy doors close as he left the house
About an hour later Angelica found him in his room and came in. she shut the door and sat in an old armchair. He had not seen her since Christmas and missed her. As children they were always causing trouble but they were always there to get each other out of trouble.
"Hello sister," he said a bit too formally.
"Hello to you brother," she said. She always had a way of connecting with him. They could always talk freely and without tension. She was there every time, Philip ranted about his lessons with their father or every time Philip was being teased at school.
Cutting to the chase he asked, "What is wrong with mother and father?"
She inhaled sharply and said, "Remember a few summers ago when we were all up state with mum, grandfather and Aunt Angelica?"
"Yes," he sad slowly. That was one of the best summers he had known. He had played with Angelica in the water and it was the first summer in a long time, where he could sleep in and lounge.
"You remember how father did not join us? He said he had work," she said calmly.
"That was a lovely summer," he replied.
"Well, he had an scandal," she said bluntly.
"A what?" he said almost choking. He had seen many of his classmates have scandalous interactions with a girl who was not their sweet hearts but his father?
"A scandal. A affair," she said like he was being dumb.
"How do you know?" He asked, "Perhaps it was a rumor?"
Suddenly Angelic burst into tears, "I know it is true because… because he published it."
"In the newspaper? You must be daft, no fool would do such a thing," he laughed trying to believe this was just a terrible joke.
"Yes. It was everywhere," she sobbed harder. If it were anyone else besides his sister he would have scoffed. But Angelica was the most honest person next to his father apparently.
Philip was in shock. He turned to the window and suddenly realized he was standing how his father stood during lectures. Hands folded behind his back and feet together. He had said it was from his military days. Philip immediately changed his posture. Right then he wanted to look nothing like the father he had always tried to emulate. His father who was so smart and brilliant had gone off and committed this act of social suicide? What would his mates think if they ever caught wind? In Pennsylvania and in the small school that was in the far outskirts of Philadelphia where news never traveled that far.
Philip grew so angry that he believed in that instant he could kill his father. He always looked up to him. No one else held the place in his heart as being the single best person then his father. He was always speaking about how to be a Hamilton and "uphold the name". He lectured me about how Philip needed to take his shot and how much he did for him so Philip could live this life. But now, anything he said was fragile like dust. Philip felt betrayed.
He comforted Angelica who now looked like she was when she was five. His mother was already so emotionally ruined and Angelica didn't want to make the situation worse so all this time had kept it on the inside.
"Aunt Angelica stayed for a bit. She had to return home briefly to put her affairs in order. As soon as she can she will be living with us," Angelica said.
"Wish she was hear now," he said.
"You should have heard her. When she first came she was absolutely furious! She marched right up to father and told him plainly what she thought," Angelica said.
"I bet she was," he said. Aunt Angelica was the fieriest person he knew, she was the only one he knew to win a debate against his father.
He heard the door close and Angelica said, "He's home."
"Is it always like this? Him leaving so early?" he asked.
"Yes. He is hardly home. Mother and him never speak. He sleeps in his office. They only ate dinner together because you're here. Mum takes her meals in her room and the rest of us eat like before," Angelica says.
"I'm going to speak to him," Philip said.
"No you mustn't! He will be angry. Whenever I try to speak to him he just tells me to leave him," Angelica said.
"He will listen to me. If he doesn't I will make him," Philip said and got up. I don't care what anyone thinks; I need to speak to him.
Philip left his room and head downstairs. All the while he was thinking of what to say. Soon enough he come to his door. He knocked out of formality and entered.
"Philip," his father says. His face has aged and he looks worn down. This only slightly made Philip feel sorry for him.
"Father, tell me everything," Philip said trying to keep his tone calm. I never called him father, I always called him Pops, but Philip did not want anything close to friendliness to be conveyed.
"Who told you?" his father asked tiredly.
'Doesn't matter. Just tell me," Philip asked again, this time harsher.
"Not now," he said.
"Yes right now!" Philip nearly shouted.
"Quiet! You will wake your mother! She hasn't been sleeping and I would appreciate if you would wouldn't disturb her," he hissed.
"Oh, and who caused this?" Philip asked angrily. He had never spoken to my father is such an abrasive way.
"Son, you wouldn't understand," he said quieter.
"Father, I am 19. I know a lot more then you would think," Philip said.
"It was an act of political sacrifice!" he said abruptly.
"Sacrifice? What would you know about sacrifice," Philip said. The words were out before he knew what he had said.
His father looked up, "How dare you ask tell me I don't know what sacrifice is."
"Father please just tell me," Philip resumed, "You will tell the whole state, your secret but not your son?"
"Philip, my son. I am not sure if anything I say will make sense," His father sighed. Alexander knew he could not keep this a secret. Now from his pride and joy. The one he had promised to stay true to, back when Philip was just a baby.
Stick around for part 2 to this chapter!