A/N:

I've changed the rating to T, just in case something comes up later on. Thanks to everyone who's favourited, followed or reviewed, your appreciation means a lot.

Disclaimer : Harry Potter and his world belong to JK Rowling. I only own the characters I've created.

Chapter Four

Harry blinked.

He turned to Alexa. She rose. She looked into his eyes, then, turning to Ginny, tiptoed up to pull her into an embrace. When she let go, she looked again at Harry. She looked like she was going to extend her hand again so that Harry would take it, but something held her back.

Does she feel shy? wondered Harry. Then again, the two had hardly known each other and she'd held his hand already. She was definitely afraid of seeming too clingy.

So he took her hands in his, just before entering Ron's ward. He didn't look at her. She seemed surprised, but didn't say anything. It wasn't the time.

Because in front of them lay a very, very still Ron Weasley.

To Harry, who had shared a dorm with Ron for five years, it appeared almost as though Ron was fast asleep. He looked up to see Bill whispering something to Charlie. Mrs Weasley was sobbing into her husband's shoulder, who was stroking her head absently as he looked on at his son. Ginny had positioned herself next to the twins, leaning against them slightly. Luna had her hand on Ron's face, looking at him in wonder.

"Ah, Harry, you're here now, good," Dumbledore called out.

Then Harry saw the Healer in the room. She was a tall, plump old witch, who looked almost ancient but for her bright eyes, which stopped her from looking completely senile. She seemed oddly familiar.

"Mr Potter, Ms McGonagall, I was just explaining everything to the Weasleys. Alexa, I know you need no introduction to the topic of Sinking, do you?"

Harry glanced over at Alexa. The Healer seemed to know her. He wondered if Alexa had known someone who'd Sunk.

"No, Healer Pomfrey, not really, no."

Harry frowned. "Excuse me, but - Healer Pomfrey?"

"My name's Edwina, you can call me Healer Pomfrey, Mr Potter. Poppy's my baby sister. We were both in love with medicine, but she was always the one who loved children more."

Harry nodded.

"You, now, Mr Potter. I don't suppose those Muggle relatives told you anything about Sinking? Professor Dumbledore here tells me you haven't the foggiest about it, now do you, boy?"

"Er - Alexa just told me about it."

Healer Pomfrey nodded. She opened her mouth again to say something, when Ginny spoke up.

"It's my fault, isn't it? He was hurting so bad, and I'd just lectured Harry about how we need to give him time, and respect his feelings, and then like a total hypocrite, like a total cow, I went and started saying all those ghastly things to him. It's just - I didn't mind him saying all that about me, not that much, but I didn't like how he tried to make Harry out to be that kind of guy, you know? The one mums tell you to stay away from? After everything Harry's gone through I just—"

Harry let go of Alexa's hand and walked over to Ginny, putting his hand on her shoulder. Alexa's eyes fell to where Harry's hand had been and felt an odd pang she forced herself not to think about.

"Nobody blames you, Ginny, none of us knew he was Sinking, he'd been acting up for weeks now, it's not your fault you lost your cool—"

"You told me to stop and I didn't!"

"Miss Weasley. Don't be so hard on yourself. Your predicament is normal, questioning your behaviour, blaming yourself. I see it a lot in patients' families, but darling, you have to understand the roots to Sinking lie elsewhere – the boy has seen trauma, real trauma, and lost the girl I believe he was in love with at, at the ripe old age of sixteen! Trust me dear when I say this, he's not lying in this hospital bed because of a sibling spat!

And besides, it's a good thing you provoked him. The state he was in, he would have Sunk soon enough anyway if he'd have gone untreated. By provoking him, you got him getting all his anger out. If he would have got that rage in him when he Sank, it would have been trapped in him throughout the duration of having Sunk, and it's not a pretty sight. It's downright painful for the family to watch all that writhing about."

Harry noticed Alexa biting her lip and nodding.

"So, Miss Weasley, I think you should be glad you got your brother all riled up. That, accompanied by Alexa's healing technique there, and your brother will get better soon, honey. He's sixteen, his brain is healthy, it'll help strengthen his mind. Just give him some time."

Mrs Weasley began to shake her head. "I can't just - give him time! I - he's my son! My Ronniekins needs to be up and about, he's just a - just a child!"

"Mrs Weasley —"

"I'm not budging from here till my son opens his eyes, lady. I don't care how long you take - but I'd rather it's sooner rather than later because you don't want a woman like me on your hands for long!"

"Mrs Weasley, we don't mind arranging a room for you right here at St Mungo's, but I assure you, in this condition, he'll be out for at least a month. I do not want you inconvenienced at any cost—"

"Inconvenienced, Healer Pomfrey? That's my boy!"

"Come now, Molly. There is truth to what Edwina says. He'll be stuck in here for a month at the very least. There's truly no point to it. But for your peace of mind, I will get Edwina to keep you updated every day. And when the month is up, we'll set you up in a room here so you'll be the first face he sees when he wakes up. How does that sound?"

Mrs Weasley reluctantly nodded to Dumbledore.

"You're all free to visit him whenever you like, and as for you four—" he looked at Harry, Alexa, Ginny and Luna, "pay me a visit and I'll write you up a note and have you dropped off with the Portkey. Now, I must return to Hogwarts, urgent business, so I'm afraid you'll have to come along with me. Remember, you can return whenever you like."

With that, the five of them bid adieu to the rest of the Weasleys, and grabbed onto the Portkey to return to Hogwarts.

It was late when they returned. They'd left school at about seven in the evening, and it was close to 10 when they were back. The Great Hall was almost empty when they reached there for dinner, and the few people there fell silent when they saw Dumbledore.

Dumbledore barely had a bite before leaving with McGonagall, who was rather cross she'd not been informed anything about Ron's condition ("As Head of House, I deserved to know, Albus!"), but the others were in no hurry to finish their meal. Ginny barely touched her food, Luna played with it at the Ravenclaw table, Harry picked at it, and while Alexa had managed to have a substantial amount of food, she didn't seem to want to return to the Common Room.

At last, Ginny pushed her plate away. "I'm going up to bed now, I just can't anymore. Are you lot coming?"

There was no need for Ginny to specify what exactly she meant by "can't anymore"; her friends understood her perfectly. They rose with her, and after calling out a goodbye to Luna, who waved dreamily back, they returned to the Common Room.

The Fat Lady shook her head in disapproval when she saw them. "So late?" she tut tutted. They were too exhausted to care.

"Password?"

"Leona Mortis," said Harry quickly.

They were given access. When they walked in, the Common Room was still bustling, but this time, unlike in the Great Hall, there was no silence. They found their way to their usual spot, where they found Neville leaning into his seat, waiting for them.

"Harry! You guys are back! I saw what happened with Ron; you look too knackered to talk right now, but I just thought I'd give you this."

Harry looked at what Neville put in his hands. It was the glass framed photograph of Harry, Ron and Hermione that Ron had smashed a few hours ago.

"You fixed it." Harry said in a low voice, touched by the simple action. "Neville, you're incredible, you know."

"It was just a quick Reparo, Harry, nothing really."

Harry continued to look at the photograph with the faintest of smiles. "Thank you," he whispered. Neville beamed.

"Goodnight guys. See you tomorrow." That was Ginny, already walking towards the dormitory staircase.

"I'd best be going to bed too, Harry. I have to meet Professor Sprout early tomorrow for a special project. I'd thought I'd just wait up till you guys were back."

Harry nodded, then stopped Neville. "Thanks - again. Er - goodnight."

He turned to Alexa, who lay on the sofa from one end to the other, braiding her hair absentmindedly.

"Not going to bed, Alexa?"

"Not sleepy."

Harry regarded her with curiosity. Something was off with her. She didn't really know Ron, so why was she so upset?

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she replied in monosyllables.

Harry frowned. He paused, then remembered something. He sat down. He tried again.

"Who was it?"

"Hmmmmm?" Harry could see she wasn't listening.

"You know a lot about Sinking, and you seemed to know Healer Pomfrey. It appeared as though you've seen Sinking at close quarters before. Who —"

"I don't want to talk about it, Harry."

Harry pursed his lips. He tried to think of something she might find easier to talk about.

"Oh, oh, you never told me about that thing you did with Ron, that low voice thing you used with me at St Mungo's as well - what was it?"

Alexa sighed and turned to him at last. "Harry, I don't remember signing up for Twenty Questions! Can't you figure out that I'm not really in the mood to talk? I mean, you'd hardly be up to share if I were to ask you what it was like to spend every living moment of your life with the Dursleys for ten straight years, would you?"

Harry looked injured. There was a long pause of silence. She went back to her braid, this time more intensely focusing on it.

"I suppose I don't want you to end up like Ron, Sinking, because there's too much on your mind and nobody you're willing to talk about it with."

Alexa frowned slightly. "That's what I used to think too, and I'd always feel like Ginny, like it was my fault, like I shouldn't have said something, or like what you feel, like I should have said something. But sometimes all someone wants, all someone needs, really, is to be by themselves. Alone. Just them with their thoughts."

"And when the thoughts get too much?"

"I'll come to you, Harry."

They locked eyes. Harry felt his face grow warm. Alexa looked away.

"Or Ginny. Or Luna, even, she's quite, well, profound, isn't she?"

"She is." He looked at his hands for a moment, for inspiration, then continued, "Well, do you want me to go then?"

A faint smile spread on her face. "No, I think it's fine. I don't mind your company all that much, even though you do ask too many questions. Just one thing - you should probably get a book or something - my face gets boring after a while, did you know?"

Harry snickered shortly.

"I think I'll bring my DADA books down, Snape assigned us a reading thing, he won't be too happy if my answers go wrong. Then again, he won't be happy either way, why do I even bother? You'd think the man would be happy he got the job he's been pining after for years, and here he is, as greasy haired and overgrown bat-like as ever."

A playful smile danced about on Alexa's lips. "Ah, Snape. At least he got something he's been pining after for years."

Harry didn't hear her. He'd already left to get his book bag from his dorm. When he reached his four poster, he forced himself to look away from Ron's empty bed, and hurried back, just in case Alexa changed her mind and chose to go to bed. He needn't have worried, however, for she lay on the sofa like he'd never budged.

He opened to the chapter on Inferi, and began to read silently. Eventually, his mind began to wander. He found it so futile to sit in a classroom and read about those dark creatures when a war was going on outside. He found homework assignments silly when people were dying in hundreds. His parents had died for him when he was a baby. His godfather was dead. His best friend was dead. His other best friend was in a magical depression induced coma. Because of him. He hadn't wanted any of it. Not the losses, not the fame, not the glory, not the title of being the bloody Chosen One.

He sneaked a glance at Alexa. He was almost envious of how she blissfully lay there, now deconstructing her braids. He knew she had secrets, but at least her destiny hadn't been charted out for her. She had a famous surname too, but people didn't stand back in awe when they saw her, nor did they shudder. She was just Alexa. She smiled easily, she sulked easily, she didn't pretend. It was frustrating to see her being stubborn about her secrets, but he understood. Of course he understood.

"I was three years old when I called Uncle Vernon Daddy. Dudley had been watching one of those cartoons with a big family, Mummy and Daddy and lots of little children who loved each other. Besides, Dudley called Uncle Vernon Daddy too. I thought he would like it. That was the first time he hit me. He told me to never call him that again. I didn't understand. I thought he would be happy. I cried, but mostly I was just confused, I think, I don't remember it so well.

When I was four and some months old, Aunt Petunia used to take me and Dudley out to the park. Dudley began to bully me there, never letting me have a go on the swings. He'd keep looking out for what I wanted to play on, and he'd get there first. Aunt Petunia never defended me. If I told Dudley he was being a meanie she'd tell me that was no way to speak to a child, you know, because she and her bloody husband spoke to me in honey and sugar and - bloody treacle tart!"

Harry's voice had risen considerably with the last sentence, but he regained his composure and continued, "But I loved them still, because I'd seen in Dudley's show that - that family always loved each other, and they were my family. I don't remember when exactly they told me they weren't my parents, and that my mum and dad had died in a car crash, but I loved them for being my Uncle and Aunt.

During one of the visits to the park I'd seen a girl hug her mother, so I tried it on Aunt Petunia one evening. She didn't hit me like Uncle Vernon, she just went very stiff, then slowly took my arms off her, shaking ever so slightly. I remember her exact words, 'Get your knobbly fingers away from me, you freak.'"

Harry paused. "I think I began to hate them when I was eight. Perhaps not hate, I don't think I felt such intense feelings back then, but Dudley was getting worse, Uncle and Aunt had started hitting me as punishment, and I had to do all the chores. School was torture because Dudley beat up anybody who spoke to me, so naturally, everybody stayed away. I was the in - house freak who blew things up when I was sad, who let a boa constrictor free in a zoo, who couldn't get his haircut to last two days. I had no friends. Except maybe the boa constrictor. He was nice.

Living in the room under the stairs wasn't that bad because I was terribly small for my age, thank heavens I wasn't as big as Dudley, I wouldn't have been able to breathe. Heh, when I was younger, I actually thought that was the reason why Dudley had a bigger room. Because he was bigger than I was. Not because the Dursleys were pathetic excuses for humans.

It got worse when the Hogwarts letters began to come, when Hagrid broke the house down to come get me, when I started attending school. Even now, after all these years, all I got from them was a toothpick for Christmas. A toothpick, Alexa, a toothpick!"

Harry bit his lip. He could feel his tear ducts go into overdrive. Not here, he thought. Not now.

"Harry, come here." Alexa was sitting up on the sofa now with her feet under her.

Harry shook his head.

"Harry Potter."

Harry reluctantly got up. He sat down tentatively, then looked at her.

"Do you have an Invisibility Cloak, Harry? The stories, are they true?"

Harry didn't understand.

"Just answer the question."

Harry nodded.

"Accio Invisibility Cloak!"

His Invisibility Cloak whooshed down towards them, then when it was safely in Alexa's hands, she turned to him.

"Cry, Harry. Cry. I can see you holding those tears back, looking up at the ceiling so that they don't fall. I know you won't like to do this in front of everybody, so get under this Cloak, I'll put a spell on you, and then you have to cry, Harry. Sadness, anger, they're poisons that don't deserve to live within us, Harry, and tears are the healthiest and least invasive way of getting them out. Nobody will be able to see you, not even me. Nobody will be able to hear you either, and nobody will laugh at you. I know tears shouldn't have to be hidden, I'd rather you did it without all of this, but I respect your privacy. You trust me enough to share this with me, but tears are extremely personal, and I know we're not there yet. It's okay, Harry. Get under the Cloak."

She put the Cloak on him, then muttered, "Muffliato!"

And then she waited beside him, looking pointedly in the other direction because she knew that even if she couldn't see him, he could see her and he'd be uncomfortable.

After several long minutes, the Cloak came off. Harry muttered a quick incantation, then he coughed audibly and Alexa knew he'd ended the spell.

His face was shining with fresh tears. He was still, then he wiped them off with his sleeve. She let him have a moment.

"I can't believe I just cried over the bloody Dursleys."

"Oh, but you didn't, Harry. You were crying because of everything you've ever lost. Affection from family, a normal childhood, knowing your parents, you didn't get any of it. You were crying because talking about the Dursleys – it made you feel unloved. It reminded you of the pain, it brought everything back, didn't it?"

Harry nodded.

"Harry, you are loved. The love lives inside you." She took his hands in hers, then tracing his fingers, she continued, "I've heard how you offed Quirrel by just putting these hands on him. Ginny loved hearing that story, and she'd never shut up while recounting it. Harry, your parents love you, no matter where they are. Sirius, Hermione, they're with you. Ron will be back. And as for the rest of us, Ginny, Luna, Neville and I, we're here for you, we're standing by you no matter what."

Harry shook his head slightly, then took his hand out of her grasp.

"Maybe you shouldn't be here for me. Maybe you shouldn't stand by my side! Any of you! What good did it do anybody? What did they gain? Everybody just died. I didn't want any of it, Alexa. Maybe it's best if you just stayed away."

"What did they gain? Harry, you may have only just got to know me, but I've known you vicariously through Ginny for years, and you're a wonderful wizard, you really are. You're kind, and you're brave, and you're loyal, and, when the time comes, you're going to be the one who defeats Voldemort. And when that happens, none of it will have happened in vain."

Harry snorted. "By the time I finally face Voldemort, everybody else would be dead, and it would just be me and the nose-less sod shooting spells at each other until one of us gets exhausted, and that'll probably be me. Alexa, I'm not perfect, I'm just – Harry."

"Nobody thinks you're perfect, Harry, don't think so highly of yourself," she scoffed. "But they want you to be, they need you to be their saviour, to deliver them from all the evil in the world. But that doesn't mean you have to be perfect. Nobody is. I mean, look at me. I can be full of bluster and threat, but that's only because I don't want people thinking I'm a vulnerable baby because I'm not even five feet tall and my legs swing in the air if I lean all the way into a chair.

I'm not smart, not by any means. I'd wanted to be in Ravenclaw like my mum, but the Sorting Hat told me I wasn't smart enough, that I was stupid and it was sending me to Gryffindor because the only thing dimwits like me were good for was rushing into trouble recklessly to save the day. That's why I spend all the time at the library, not because I'm a genius like Hermione, but because I have to work twice as hard as everyone else!

And —" she stopped.

"And?"

"And nobody even glances at me when Ginny's next to me. She's always the one who has wizards buying drinks for her at The Three Broomsticks, and I'm always the one wizards chat up just to get close to Ginny. I'm not jealous of her, I just – I wish I could be like Luna, taking it all in my stride, not caring what people think of me, but I'm human! I do care. Too much, even. A slightly rude comment could have been said to me, I'll retort just as harshly, then cry myself to sleep."

Then Alexa straightened herself and continued, "I'm not telling you this because I want your sympathy or for you to tell me I'm good enough. I know I'm stunning, but you need to know that everybody's struggling, it just gets easier when we're all in this together. And by saying it's better if we stayed away, you're doing exactly what Ron did. I know I was avoiding your questions earlier too, but I'll open up to you eventually, Harry, I just need a little more time."

Harry nodded.

"I think I'll go to bed now, Harry."

"Me too."

A/N:

I hope you liked that! Let me know what you think in the reviews, criticism is always welcome :)