Chapter 4: I'm Picking Me Apart Again

Cody violently tossed and turned in his sleep as a dream kept circling around in his mind.

"Zack! Help me!" Cody called out. His arms were wrapped around an icy tree branch as the rest of him dangled. His arms continued to slip as he began to lose his grip. "Please Zack! Help me!"

"I'm coming Cody!" Zack called back. Cody looked over and saw bright lights quickly approaching Zack as he began to climb a nearby metal fence to get to Cody. "Quick! Grab my hand!"

Cody saw Zack's hand was outstretched, just inches away from his own. He reached over as his other arm lost its grip. At the same moment however, Zack also slipped and fell, missing Cody's hand by inches.

"ZACK!" Cody called out.

Finally his other arm lost its grip before he could get his arm wrapped around the tree branch again. Cody screamed as he began to tumble down. Looking down, he saw Zack had disappeared. Suddenly he felt something pierce him, causing pain to erupt to throughout his body. Cody screamed again just as he impacted the ground.

Weakened, Cody looked over and saw Zack struggling, painfully holding himself. "Zack!" Cody called. He tried to get up, but his body refused to move. "I'm coming Zack! Just hold on!"

"C-Cody…" Zack said. His face fell forward into the snow.

"ZACK!" Cody called, tears falling. "NO! ZACK! PLEASE HOLD ON BIG BROTHER! PLEASE!"

Zack's body was silent and unresponsive.

"ZACK!" Cody called again. He had to help him. He just had to. Zack was the only one he had left. Groaning and straining, Cody tried with all his might, but didn't move an inch. The more he fought, the more futile the effort became. "No!" Cody said, tears flowing freely now. "Zack…"

Suddenly Zack's eyes looked back up slightly. "I…I loved you Cody…why don't you love me? Why do you hate me?"

"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Cody yelled out. "I love you Zack! I'll help you! I promise!"

"What do your promises mean?" Zack said, getting up again. "You can't keep your promises. You give in. You're weak." He approached Cody.

Cody stared at him too stunned to speak… hurt that his brother would say that.

"Stupid little kid," Zack said, growing closer. This time however, his voice was different. Cody's eyes twisted in confusion as his surroundings changed. He was in the orphanage again, and in Zack's place was Matt as well as Mr. Bubbler. Cody's eyes widened as they approached.

Cody tried to lift his hands to defend himself, but found he was still unable to move. A glance told him that a rope had now formed tightly around his wrists and was connected to another rope that was wrapped around his neck.

Suddenly Cody gasped out loud as each of them kicked him hard. He squeezed his eyes shut in pain. When he opened them again, he noticed that Matt and Mr. Bubbler weren't alone, near them were all of Cody's victims as well as Miles and Candy. Cody stared up in horror as they all smiled down at him.

"Zack please help me!" Cody called out as Miles pressed his foot on top of Cody's chest. He smiled as he took out a gun against Cody's forehead between his eyes. "Zack! Please!" Cody called again. In the distance, far beyond everyone, he saw his brother. Cody looked at Zack with pleading eyes. Zack however, just shook his head as he looked away before disappearing. Pressing the gun harder against Cody's head, Miles finally pulled the trigger…

"AHH!" Cody yelled as he awoke with a start. Sweat dripped down his face as his chest heaved. Continuing to breathe very heavily, Cody looked around. His eyes danced around the dark room. The only source of light was the moon shining in through the portions of his window that were not covered by blinds.

"What a nightmare," Cody muttered softly. His eyes fell on the knot of covers that lay half on the futon he was sleeping on, and half on the floor. He felt extremely hot, so he didn't bother to pick the blankets back up again. He swung himself around so he was sitting with his feet on the floor. With his elbows on his knees, Cody held his head, his hands covering his eyes. After a good amount of effort, Cody had wiped the sweat from his face, and was able to collect himself. Finally breathing at a normal rate again, Cody took off his sweat soaked shirt. After grabbing a new shirt, and a few more deep breaths, Cody laid back down and stared at the ceiling.

For the next half hour, Cody found that no matter how hard he tried, his body refused to go back to sleep. He tossed and turned, and tried lying still with his eyes closed. Nothing seemed to work. Finally after a somewhat disgusted sigh, Cody got up and walked over to the window. Pulling up the blinds, Cody stared at the dark streets several stories below him. There was a time when Cody wouldn't have thought twice about climbing out and going to find some form of amusement until he was ready to go back to bed. Cody placed his hands on the window sill, temptation pulled on his hands, beckoning them to open the window and relive the memory again.

Suddenly, Cody stopped. All the twisting in his sleep had caused his wounds to once again start to bother him, helping to diminish his desire to sneak out. The fact that he was so physically limited by his injuries annoyed Cody. "I'll get her for these," Cody muttered, putting his hands over his chest and abdomen. "If it's the last thing I do."

Along with his physical pain, there was something else that was fighting Cody's temptation to sneak out. It was the promise he made to Zack. He promised that Zack that he would try to lead a good, normal life, in return for the second and third chance Cody was sure his brother had offered him. "Don't worry Zack," Cody continued to himself. "I won't do it. Don't worry." With that, he began to turn away from the window.

A second later, Cody saw a car speeding down a street before heading police sirens. The battle returned in him. Temptation fought loyalty. It was like Cody's insides were a giant battlefield, and he could definitely feel it as the attacks from each side waged their war on the other. As the conflict continued to rage within him, Cody could almost hear each side coaxing him on. Over everything else though, once again it was almost like he could hear Zack's voice inside his head.

"I want you to promise me you'll stay strong, and that you won't give in," Zack would say. "Will you keep your promise to me little brother? I kept mine to you. Don't you care about me as much I love you?"

Cody knew Zack was right. "I won't betray you Zack," Cody said quietly. He walked back over to the futon and sat down. "I made you a promise and I'm going to keep it." With that, he laid down again and finally dozed off into a light slumber.

Sorry it was kinda short, the main point is to help get into Cody's head some more. Please Read and Review.