Disclaimer: Me? Owning Naruto? Can you honestly, with all of your heart, say that I own Naruto? No? Yeah, that's right, I don't own Naruto. How lame, right?
The KakaNaru Dumpsite: This is a collection of all stories (I've made) that relate to anything KakaNaru; either with romance or none.
Any stories here might be expanded upon later as a full fic.
FEEL FREE TO REVIEW OR PM A PROMPT!
(Just give the genre, what you'd like to see, plot (if you really want it) or, if you have no idea what you want, but you just want to see a KakaNaru thing, give me a word (for example: cheese))
I'M ALWAYS OPEN FOR CRITIQUE!
Schematic
Kakashi, you little shit
Kakashi is an adorable little shit.
When Naruto's handed a bundle of blankets from an amused Minato, he's wary and bemused. He doesn't even bother looking at the bundle in his arms, because what the fuck, why was he given blankets? Heavy blankets as well. Why are the damn blankets so damn heavy!?
"What," Naruto says flatly, eyeing his father dubiously, "is this?"
"Have a look at it," the man replies, impishly. His mouth is spread wide in a devastatingly amused grin and his eyes are crinkled. He eyes his father warily, because he wouldn't put it past the man to give him something embarrassing just so his mother can lord it over him.
When he looks down at the blankets, he's met with onyx eyes, bored eyes and a shock of silver hair. He freezes, completely shocked. What, is the only word in his head right now. He slowly looks from the baby Kakashi to stare up at his father, who continues to grin impishly. Stop smiling like that, you bastard. "What."
"We…" the man starts, but at the glare he receives, he sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "We - my team and I - went out to do a B-rank mission and, we kind of… got into some trouble. Kakashi - Kakashi… kind of got into the wrong end of a reverse ageing Jutsu."
Naruto stares blankly at his father. "Really."
"And, uh, we needed someone we could trust to look after him because… we have another mission to get to?"
Naruto continues to stare at the man, and he raises his eyebrow slowly. "You want me," he says, incredulously, "to look after him."
"Yes."
"Me?"
The man sheepishly grins. "Yes?"
Naruto sighs explosively. "How long are you going to be gone? When… when does Kakashi turn back?"
"Ah… Naruto," the man starts cautiously and Naruto instantly turns suspicious. What now? "We'll be gone… for two weeks. He'll age every day by a year."
"How old is he now?" Naruto asks flatly and looks down at Kakashi, who just continues to observe him in return, silently.
"… a few months old?"
Naruto lets out a shaky breath and turns around. Every muscle he has in his body tenses, and he doesn't know how he's going to react. His idiot, idiot father has decided to make Naruto deal with this? Seriously, him? He doesn't even know how to look after babies! But, as he continues to stare at the silent child, he wonders at how hard it can possibly be.
Four hours later, after his father has left, he immediately regrets thinking that. He has no idea how Kakashi can scream that loudly, but he's sure it's going to break something - and soon. He immediately picks up the boy, who continues to cry in his ear. He has no idea what the fuck he's doing. Why didn't his father ask his MOTHER? Surely Kushina would know how to look after children! He had Naruto, didn't she?!
He completely forgets that he hasn't even been born yet and ignores everything else. Because, seriously, he's never had any contact with children except for Konohamaru, and that was when he was five. Well, he doesn't know Konohamaru's exact age… screw it, he didn't care anyway. The fact of the matter is that he has no idea what he's doing, he's never been around children and he doesn't know what to do. He pats Kakashi on the back, who stops screaming and just whimpers instead.
Then, to Naruto's utter horror, he smells something… disgusting. Please don't tell me… yes, he has. Why did every deity hate him, seriously? He doesn't want to intrude on Kakashi's space, neither does he want to… ever change his diaper.
Pausing, he starts to smile. I can't wait to tell Kakashi this when he's back to his original age.
—-
The next morning, he wakes up to a face full of Kakashi. The boy, who had been lying next to him all night, was in his face and staring curiously. His eyes tracked all of Naruto's face and then, much to Kakashi's delight, he grabs a fistful of Naruto's hair. Naruto grunts and starts to disentangle himself from Kakashi to no avail; as soon as he's got Kakashi away from his hair, his eyes start to water.
Grumbling, Naruto grabs hold of Kakashi and snuggles into him. The boy wiggles, but he continues to hold on stubbornly. "Kakashi, stop."
Kakashi turns around in his hold and stares at Naruto, his eyes still watering. Shaking his head, Naruto lets go of the boy and, as soon as he lets go, the boy starts to pat Naruto's cheeks, quietly giggling all the while.
Why does his younger self have to be so damn cute? Naruto thinks grumpily.
The next day, Kakashi's two, and now that he's that age, he starts to speak and he tries - very often - to go outside. Naruto, who has no intention of ever making Kakashi go outside, continues to trump his efforts.
"No Kaa-san," the boy grumbles, folding his arms over his chest grumpily.
He called me Kaa-san, Naruto thinks hysterically. "Not Kaa-san; Naruto."
"Kaa-san," the boy stubbornly says.
"Fine, fine," Naruto says, "but you're still not going outside."
"Kaa-saaaaaaan," Kakashi whines, and Naruto sighs. He knows he can't keep children inside all the time (hell, he hated it when he was that age) but he can't risk taking Kakashi outside; he's not like he usually is. Instead, he starts to distract the boy by picking the boy up, turning him upside down and tickling his sides.
The boy starts to shriek with laughter, but Naruto puts him back down on the floor the right way up. The boy pouts and raises his arms.
"Again," he demands.
"Kaa-san."
"No."
"Kaa-saaaaan!"
"No."
Kakashi's four when he stumbles into the bathroom where Naruto is bathing. Naruto turns shocked eyes onto the boy, his eyes widening. The boy simply tilts his head and scratches his cheek.
"Can I come in?" he asks carefully.
"No," Naruto says immediately. No way in hell am I letting Kakashi in here. Holy fuck, this is my sensei… holy fuck, this is Kakashi. No.
The boy shrugs and then proceeds to take off his clothes. Spluttering, Naruto tries, with all of his might, to try go to get the boy to put his clothes back on. The boy studiously ignores him and then he gets into the bath.
Naruto sighs. It doesn't matter. He's four, who cares?
"Come here and let me wash your hair," Naruto says.
The boy eyes him suspiciously. "You just want to take off my mask."
"No," Naruto replies. He's not stupid - contrary to popular belief - and, he won't take advantage of this - Kakashi doesn't even have a fair advantage. The boy shrugs in response, and scoots over, his back to Naruto.
Naruto picks up the shampoo bottle, squirts some in his palms, and then into Kakashi's hair. He starts to massage, and he could swear he hears a purr coming from Kakashi.
"Naru-chan," the boy says and Naruto almost chokes - where does the boy come up with all these names? "I'm going to marry you some day."
Naruto freezes. What. He clears his throat. "Why?"
The boy shrugs. "Because you do thinks for me."
I see.
Kakashi's five when he comes into Naruto's room, lies next to him and snuggles against him. His masked face is pushed up against Naruto's side, his arms wrapped around Naruto's torso.
"Why're you in here?" he asks, amused.
"Had a bad dream," Kakashi replies.
The room descends into a comforting silence and then they're both asleep.
"So Kakashi's still a chibi, eh?" Obito asks, laughter in his voice. Startled, Naruto stops brushing Kakashi's hair and turns to stare at the Uchiha.
"You're back?" he asks. Kakashi huffs and makes Naruto continue brushing his hair.
Obito stares at them amused. "That's adorable," he coos.
"We are not," Naruto says indignantly and Kakashi turns to stare at Obito thoughtfully then nods his head decisively.
"Naru-chan is cute," Kakashi adds, and his face turns confused when Naruto blushes and Obito laughs helplessly. Shrugging, the boy goes back to enjoying the ministrations happening to his hair.
"Kakashi - the - stuck up -" here, Obito snorts, "I can't - oh man, I can't wait until he's older!"
"Shhh!" Naruto hisses, his face red.
"Can I go outside now, Naru-chan?" Kakashi whines.
"Nooo," Naruto says in the same tone, shaking his head. "No."
The boy glares at him. "But I want to!"
"But you're not!"
When Obito walks into the house, it's to the glare of Kakashi; the one he gives when he's really pissed off at something. And, knowing him, he's probably pissed at Obito for some reason or another.
No matter what age he is, he's still an asshole to me, Obito grumbles to himself silently.
"Hey, chibi, where's Naruto?"
"In the shower," Kakashi whines petulantly and then scowls. "He won't let me shower with him."
Ohhohoho? "Do you usually shower with him?"
"I had a bath once with Naru-chan," Kakashi informs him. "He's nice washing me."
Oh, I have so much over you now, Kakashi, Obito cackles inwardly.
When Kakashi's asleep, Naruto turns to Obito helplessly."He's going to be ten tomorrow," he whines. "I have to wait another four days until he's back to his usual age! Obito, help me!"
Obito chuckles and shakes his head. "Sorry, Naruto, but I don't think that's going to be an option… considering how attached Kakashi is of you."
Naruto scowls at him. "He won't stop calling me Naru-chan. I can't wait until he's a bastard again."
Obito laughs. "Okay, okay… hm. Do you want me to take him?"
Naruto shakes his head. "I haven't let Kakashi outside since I got him from Minato-sensei." It feels weird calling Dad by that, but… well, I can't exactly… call him anything else now, can I?
"How about I find some games to play with, then?"
Naruto nods. "Okay then."
The next day, when Obito steps foot into the house, he's immediately given an I hate you and wish you didn't exist glare. Startled, he wonders what on earth he's done; he hasn't done anything to the chibi. Looking around, he notices Naruto isn't in the room.
"Where's Naruto?" he asks suspiciously.
"Asleep," the boy snaps and then he folds his arms in front of him. "You aren't right for Naru-chan."
Aren't right…? What? "What?" he asks stupidly.
"Naru-chan's better than a loser like you," Kakashi informs him, "and you'll just bring him down. Go away."
Wow, he's gotten so childish, Obito thinks, amused beyond belief, and then the words catch up to him. Better? Let me guess…
"You like Naruto, don't you?"
The boy raises an eyebrow, apparently completely unimpressed with his question. "Of course."
He has no idea what I'm talking about, Obito thinks and he gets light-headed. The prodigy not understanding something? The asshole being… fascinated by another person? It's… it's too good to be true.
I am going to tease him so much.
The next few days pass in a blur and, on the fourteenth day, Kakashi wakes up his usual, grumpy self. He rolls over, intending to get out of bed when he feels a person in his bed. He freezes and puts his hand under the pillow for a kunai; finding none, he jumps out of bed and keeps his back to the wall, staring at the bed, where a lump lies.
He sees a tuft of blonde and, immediately, his face heats up.
"Naruto!" he screeches, completely taken aback.
Naruto bolts up right and turns towards him with a confused expression on his face. "Kakashi… what…?"
"What are you doing in my bed?" he asks, deliberately calm. The other boy eyes him, bemused.
"What do you mean your bed? Look around. That's my bed. Honestly," the blonde grumbles.
All of Kakashi's thoughts halt to a stop at those words.
What.
Two hours later, they're met up by Obito, who immediately notices the tension in the air. He grins obnoxiously at them. "You're back," he crows, laughing. "You have no idea what's happened, do you?"
"What are you on about, idiot?"
The brunette smirks at him.
An hour later, Kakashi sits there, red-faced. "I - you - I didn't ask you to marry me!"
Naruto shrugs. "You were four."
"Four," Kakashi chokes. "What… what else…"
"You had a crush on Naruto!" Obito howls, beating the table beneath him. "And you kept calling him Naru-chan!"
"You called me Kaa-san for a couple of days, too," Naruto replies, amused.
Kakashi chokes and he's sure he's not supposed to have this much blood in his face. "What."
His team mates both shrug. "It was fun while it lasted."
Kakashi sits on his bed, his head in his hands. He has no idea what he should do, because apparently while he was a child, he'd basically told Naruto everything about how he felt. He wasn't supposed to feel like this; his friend is three years older than him and he shouldn't like Naruto that way.
Who cares, he suddenly thinks. Naruto didn't seem to mind.
He nods decisively to himself and disappears.
He stands in front of Naruto, who has a wide grin plastered on his face. It just makes him even more embarrassed. He clears his throat. "Can I… can you… Naruto," he sighs, and then pushes his shoulders back. "Close your eyes."
Naruto's confused, he can see, but the boy - nearly man - complies anyway, humming softly. He smiles, remembering the sound from those confusing couple of days. He moves in closely, braces himself and then leans into Naruto and kisses his lips through the mask. He immediately blushes and pulls back and waits for Naruto's reaction.
Naruto opens his eyes and smiles softly. "Is that what I think it was?"
Kakashi shifts, embarrassed beyond belief. "Maybe."
"Ah," he says, "well, I think I feel that way too."
And then it's Kakashi's turn to be kissed.
Schematic: So, I just wanted an adorable Kakashi. And there it is.