Many Crossroads

Sara's diary

Most of the time one thinks of the Jaffa people as a kind of stoic warrior race, kind of a combination of Vulcans and Klingons to reference one of Jack's shows. Well Cassie's too, which reminds me I think we're getting to that time of year she'll drag us to another convention.

Okay drag is a bit harsh, it's not like we don't enjoy them with al the dressing up. Drey'auc had to try and downplay her costume last year after winning events the year before. General Hammond stressed not drawing attention. This year will be Sha're's first and we're not taking no for our annual girls weekend. She's coming and sans Daniel. I went without Jack, Drey'auc went without Teal'c, Raine went without Nathan, so she'll get use to this one tradition of sorts.

Besides, it does the men well to miss us from time to time. I won't comment on how we miss them.

Anyway, back to my recent discovery about Jaffa. A culture that appears on the outside a cold and unfeeling warrior group of people but can be quite passionate about many things.

Like how they feel about their priest. I didn't have a hint of this when Tolok visited from Alpha, but then I hadn't been around anyone he married.

Shaun'auc had been the priestess to preside over Teal'c and Drey'auc's marriage and that was who today's visitor turned out to be, well one of four, the only one we hadn't met yet. Though I am getting ahead of myself, stories are like that, diary entries I suppose are not exempt.

We had been in the control center for Drey'auc's final for testing how to dial up the gate this morning. Teal'c knew how so it was only a matter of time as the newest addition to SG-1 requested she be taught.

An incoming wormhole cut the final short, Walter and his people returned once the alert rang, so Drey'auc and I were behind everyone who was busy typing and pressing whatever buttons that demanded to be pressed or look busy. I did recall one maxim Jack relayed in the military, always look busy.

Guards were in place, Walter announced Bra'tac's IDC, Iris opened, and Bra'tac stepped out. He wasn't alone.

"This can't be good, Gandalf is back," I heard Jack say ahead of Drey'auc and I who were following him to meet Bra'tac now that we knew he was coming. I didn't have to be able to see that he meant Kosh was with him and again I had that harbinger of doom feeling as twice in a short period of time the Vorlon showed up.

Now I shouldn't have been surprised to see Rya'c, since Kheb he's stuck close to his teacher as if the student could protect him.

I suppose I took up a position at Jack's side ready as the cultural attaché job title, but really I just wanted to stand by my man. Besides unsurprisingly Drey'auc deserted me, however surprisingly it wasn't just to greet her son Rya'c.

Both parents gave a brief nod to their offspring as they approached a woman called Shaun'auc, barely acknowledging Bra'tac's presence and I think for once Kosh didn't even register on the Jaffa radar.

Now to really comprehend my surprise you have to keep in mind neither Drey'auc nor Teal'c smile much in public, or in semi-privacy among friends. I have seen them laugh before and know they do it, so it's not like they're that Vulcan-Klingon image I mentioned earlier. Upon occasion they will hold hands, but that is not often, not by our standards and is something they consider a custom of the Tau'ri. Even then it's done quietly to not draw attention.

So when our couple walked up to this Shaun'auc and took her hands into theirs and stared into her eyes in a way that I was getting this freaky threesome vibe. It was the kind of vibe I half expected Jack to say 'Get a room' any moment. I certainly felt that kind of discomfort standing there feeling they were going to go for it right then and there.

It had me looking away uncomfortably which is probably why I caught an odd look on Rya'c's face. It's one I've seen on Vin's or Will's face at various times, among others who had a crush on an older woman. I have to admit this Shaun'auc is on the pretty side. It made me wonder if she was Rya'c's first love, or rather first crush, like a teacher's crush.

For a brief instant I wonder who would have been Charlie's first crush on, gratefully my mind went from my son to his best friend Sammy, excuse me just Sam now that he's growing up. I wonder if Ron or Judy realizes their son has a crush on a girl literally out of this world. For that matter I wonder if Cassie has any clue Sam has a crush on her.

She is likely as clueless as Shaun'auc is about the way Rya'c may feel about her, or not, from the way his parents are acting I should throw out everything human cultures have to compare with and try to keep an objective mind about this. It's not only my job these days, but it'll help soften future shocks I am sure are en route.

Fortunately Jack came to the rescue since Bra'tac apparently didn't think anything odd about how the three were acting. One clearing of the throat later and at least introductions were being made. -That- was when I found out Shaun'auc conducted Teal'c and Drey'auc's wedding. Whatever the ceremony, considering what I am getting from the three of them now, it's no wonder Drey'auc and Teal'c were mystified about our wedding customs. They must really be different than Jaffa ones.

I have to admit, now I'm really curious.

Guiltily a bit more than her request that she be taken to the Tok'ra immediately.

Drey'auc's day

It is good to see my son again. He has changed of course, becoming a warrior will do that, yet I still see my child under the cha'tii on the path to be like his father, a full warrior.

I imagine it is hard for the Tau'ri to understand how close a priestess may become to us. Especially with Tolok their only example. Shaun'auc taught us the way of men and women, it is one way priestesses vary from priest. While many have the same duties, in some one is better suited than the other, and showing us the way of men and women is best with a priestess.

It formed a special bond that is deep and special, much like one's first love as I understand the Tau'ri. It makes it easy to show affection that otherwise a couple may not, for indeed part of the journey a priestess takes one is learn to express such properly with one another. I believe Sara, or the teacher Penny Robinson, would say 'sex education.' If I understand the Tau'ri properly, if I do I know it is more than merely sharing facts. It is very demonstrative as we learn from experience.

I do not know why the Vorlon is here. Master Bra'tac had come only to convey Shaun'auc to us safely as she had no IDC to get the Tau'ri to open their Chappa'ai. He returned even before we assembled for this meeting. Apparently there is much unrest on Chulak that he must attend to and by impulse I ask if I could go with him.

Fortunately I kept my face when Tek ma te Kosh chimed one word as if in response to my request, "Good."

O'Neill gives his consent as the leader of SG-1, as does my husband who will see why Shaun'auc had come. I leave with Master Bra'tac and my son soon afterwards, and touched Teal'c and Shaun'auc see me off at the base of the Chappa'ai. I leave with the two of them holding hands in the manner of the Tau'ri, and know all will be well. She will look after Teal'c when I am away, though I do wonder when she learned of the custom, or perhaps she merely followed Teal'c's lead.

Moac is there to meet us as we exit the Chappa'ai on Chulak. Looking around I feel the comfort of the familiar. Though I do not regret one instant of following Teal'c to Earth, this is where life had been before O'Neill and the SGC gave hope to the Jaffa.

"Do you think she will be able to convince them, Master?" Moac asked as he took up his position flanking Bra'tac as did my son on the other side.

"She will try. It is up to Hammond of Texas if he will believe," Bra'tac replied while not slowing down his pace as we head towards town.

"What will she try to convince them of Master Bra'tac?" surely he will find no fault with my question.

"That she may commune with her symbiote and has convinced it to do good and go the way of the Tok'ra," my son answers before Bra'tac does, earning a harsh, "Kree!" from the Master to the pupil. My son has good sense to lower his head. I merely look to get the answer to the question Bra'tac sees upon my face.

"Rya'c is a believer that she has succeeded. Indeed, he is one who has studied under her with time perhaps best spent with Bashaak or Kara'bashaak'tak," he answers and reproves in one breath. I keep my face neutral to not embarrass my son with the defense of him I want to speak. It does not sit well to hear he is nothing less than the full warrior he had dreamed to be.

"What is the nature of this unrest, tec'ma-te Bra'tac?" the change in subject will give my son a reprieve and it is something I wish to know in any case.

We resume our trek as he explains, "Our people here are at a crossroad, not sure to go back to the old ways or press on to the way of freedom. When Apophis attacked months ago, many wavered. I believe it was only because he was slaughtering us without asking a return that Chulak did not as a whole turn to him. When news of the Tau'ri destroying his new Ha'tak reached here then many voices to return to Apophis were stilled."

"Then what caused this new unrest, and why did Tek ma te Kosh say it was good that I come along?" out of the many things that were on my mind that one perhaps was the most troubling when my thoughts touched on it. It is said a Vorlon will speak little, but what words spoke weighed much even among the gods.

I believe I see part of the answer when I see up ahead on the path, Tolok and a priestess I do not recognize save for her brand, a priestess of Moloc if my memory serves me well.

"Word of the Tau'ri's victories grows as does our cause for freedom. While Chulak is the only world where it may be spoken openly of, others seek us out to see for themselves. The latest seeker is the source of the unrest as many wish to go and follow her."

"Tek ma te Drey'auc," the priestess addresses me earning a raised eyebrow and eventual smile from Master Bra'tac, and a look of complete surprise on the face of my son. His is far more expressive than my own, but no less as deep being greeted as I have heard no other woman greeted before.

"I am Ishta," she explains, "And you are the one who has lived openly what I have done in secret."

"It is understood that this does not leave anyone gathered here today," I hear Bra'tac say in a stern tone of remembrance, and likely for his cha'tii than either Tolok or myself.

Yet understanding or not, Ishta waits for confirming nods before speaking again.

"I had been the wife of a high-ranked warrior in the Imperial Guard, one of many," which gives me great pause as under Apophis Jaffa had only one wife to each husband. Later I will ask if this is true of other Jaffa under other Goa'uld, for now I still my tongue to let my ears give themselves to Ishta's words.

"When my husband was killed in battle against a rival Goa'uld. I entered the priesthood and soon had a horrific burden to bear. Moloc had degreed that each female child was to be burned in a Ceremony. Well just as your husband did, I found I could not serve the false god any longer. Unlike Teal'c I did not openly rebel, but smuggled infant girls to a world where they could live and grow."

"We heard of Teal'c of Chulak, I see my son's chest swell with pride at these words, "Indeed few there are likely to be by now who have not heard of him. What was whispered however was of a Jaffa woman who openly spoke up and even fought along with the men. I have come to seek the truth of those words and I see the mark of Apophis gone, replaced with one few any Jaffa see, man or woman, the mark of the Yautja."

"The unrest is many women wish to follow Ishta to this world where women are so free, yet she will not share where this world is, even to her allies," and I hear the undertone of anger in Master Bra'tac's voice.

Perhaps it is because I am not around the Tau'ri currently that I let a smile touch my lips as I might not among them, "And the men wish them to stay?"

I see Moac shift uncomfortably answering my question before Master Bra'tac does, "It is as you say." His gaze goes back to Ishta as he speaks, "I say we must stand together or we will not stand at all!"

"I know my daughters have decided they wish to go with Ishta," Tolok speaks up and meets Master Bra'tac's eyes, "And I do not think we should provide one large target for the Goa'uld to strike. Apophis has already shown he can rain death from the skies upon Chulak and currently free Jaffa have no other place to call home. I say let our sisters find a place that some of our people may live free if the worst comes down upon Chulak."

"And what of the men? The message is stay and die, or flee and live. Do you not see the greater threat here?" Master Bra'tac points out to all of us, "To send the women away even to a better place says to others we are admitting defeat. That we expect to die and whether we do or do not, to give our people hope we must stand together, or we will find we shall die apart."

"I agree," the words tumble from my mouth before I even consider stopping them, "It is true that women do need to stand for their own freedoms, but for now we must free our race and then our gender."

"Or free them together," Ishta interjects and I nod towards her, giving her a place to speak further, "Come speak to my people, as well as the women here on Chulak. Perhaps a compromise may be worked out."

I smile and nod. I think I will like this Ishta, and with her message of freedom, I think Teal'c will as well.

Sha're's story

Jan'et calls me to the Infirmary and so I bring the Ka'kesh'prim'ta guessing she would not ask for me unless someone needed healing. I recognize Shaun'auc and recall what Sara told me about what happened at the ramp leading to the Chappa'ai. This woman is precious to both Drey'auc and Teal'c, while it would not matter otherwise, I would heal whomever I could, and I know I will give more of myself to do so for them.

For a time I stand by my Dan'yel as we listen to Shaun'auc try to convince us to take her to the Tok'ra. Not understanding why they would not, or why she wants to go to them, I remind them of one reason to do so as I assumed it was her health, "Linea is most skilled, perhaps she has a remedy we would not come up with on our own?"

Then I hear her claim that demon in her is a child, her child, all because it grows within her as a child might. I am grateful Teal'c speaks before I do. My words would have been filled with the heat and hate of my demon and knowledge. Yet I am reminded on Linea again and how her symbiote helps her quells her own demon, the one that wishes to return to be the Destroyer of Worlds.

"Why does she want to go to the Tok'ra?" I ask Dan'yel after Teal'c request a moment alone and we wait outside of the Infirmary.

"She believes that she has found away to communicate with her symbiote and convince it to another way of life other than the ways of the Goa'uld," I hear his words and ponder a moment, "Why don't we believe her?"

"Because its...Its..." Jack looks around for someone else to come to his rescue, mainly at Saman'tha, Jan'et and Dan'yel.

"Because Teal'c says it's impossible," General Hammond answers sounding a bit satisfied that he spoke on the heels of Jack instead of the other way around.

When next I see Teal'c it is in his quarters with the rest of SG-1. This is a surprise in itself, however he asked to not only bring the healing device, but the hand of the gods.

They talk of Teal'c stopping his heart, which becomes clear why he asked me to bring the Ka'kesh'prim'ta, when O'Neill brings up the point that the symbiote could be a danger I see why Teal'c asked me to bring the Goa'kesh'sha. Which is what I slip on now that the danger is more immediate than the need to heal.

"Have this ready for me to use, Dan'yel," he will not hesitate, though one glance at Saman'tha and a new idea comes to my mind, "We should see if we could find another one. Then both Saman'tha and I could help Jan'et."

"I don't know Sha're, I barely could get one to work before," Saman'tha's doubts fill her voice, but the idea sparks in her eyes.

"Think about it Saman'tha" is what I say as Teal'c enters his meditation, and I have to turn to him to keep watch, "We have but one, but that will not always be the case. One of Dan'yel's books speaks that two are better than one. Two of us could do better than one and I could help you to learn how to use a Ka'kesh'prim'ta."

"Just think about it Saman'tha. Do not decide now, just think."

We turn to see Teal'c collapse, I yank off the hand of the gods and slip on the hand of life that Dan'yel passes over to me, kneeling and raising that Ka'kesh'prim'ta adorned hand when he speaks addressing Saman'tha first.

"That will not be necessary, Major Carter," turning to look I see she had the phone, likely calling Jan'et.

I try to find his eyes and succeed a heartbeat later, "Does this mean what Shaun'auc says is possible?"

"Yes, Sha're Jackson, yes."

Greeting Linea with a hug once she descends the ramp from the Chappa'ai, we turn towards the others our fingers intertwined. I realize our friendship is what Dan'yel would say an odd one, and Sara had to explain to Jack that even women of the Tau'ri hold hands without becoming romantically involved. It is the way of women, of friendship.

Ma'chello is clearly excited, while Martouf has eyes only for Saman'tha at first, letting Anise speak for the party, one lead by Jacob, but he has his arms full of his daughter right now.

"Garshaw leads the Council in the interest of what Shaun'auc proposes, which is why Jacob has brought Ma'chello, Linea and myself along."

"From my -brief- study of this proposal the theory is sound," I hear the doubt though in Ma'chello's voice as I suspect everyone else does.

"We just don't know, but it would be foolish to not explore the possibilities," Linea certainly sounds firm in her conviction, the voice of reason between Ma'chello and Anise.

It isn't long before we find out why as they explain the history of the Tok'ra. I can see my husband's eyes light up with that sense of new discovery of another culture. He looks calm to everyone else, but that is only because he is drinking in the information. Later he will pace and think it over, with a new notion coming to his mind it seems every heartbeat.

I love my Dan'yel.

Finally they leave, Linea and I peck each other on the cheek and I watch her depart. Jacob and Anise will not only convey but add their recommendation.

From what Linea has told me, Teal'c had asked if they will find a replacement symbiote for Shaun'auc, and from what my eyes have seen of the two of them, it makes me wonder if Teal'c is considering a second wife. I remember my demon knew of other demons who rewarded their best Jaffa with more wives, but Apophis had discontinued that custom as a punishment when Teal'c's father was lost to Cronus.

Drey'auc has never mentioned if she even knows of other Jaffa men with more than one wife. I know my people have that custom, as do several others my demon ruled. It is not a custom I want my Dan'yel to take up, and I guess that makes me more of his people than mine. It is what I can live with as long as Dan'yel shares his life with me.

Looking at Martouf and Saman'tha I wonder if she realizes she too has happiness in front of her. I think she is still split between him and Narim, and truly I could not tell her which she should choose yet. Hopefully she will have the time to choose.

It is not much longer before SG-1 departs as well. Sara and I watch them as they, Shaun'auc and Kosh pass through the Chappa'ai. I really hope it works out for Shaun'auc as well as the Tok'ra. I hope she lives, I would like to see her again.

Sara's summary

Everyone is home again and Jack is frustrated the Tok'ra until Drey'auc, Shaun'auc and Kosh returned along later with bad news. Well good news for Jack's mood, but bad news for the cause.

I know its hard for Jack to trust them, and I guess I might be like that except I've spent time with them. Occasionally I do visit them, well, Charlie and Charlene, but that's typically with the Tok'ra. I try no to visit when the kids are with the Re'tu. I don't mind when I can't see them, but when they give me visors to be polite, well I really prefer to visit the two of them when they're with the Tok'ra.

Jack should look at what we have done with the Tok'ra instead of what they haven't done for us. Then he'd realize they owe us. At least I hope they realize that. I mean look at what we've done. We've helped them ally with the Re'tu, they're closer to the Tollan now, they have the genius of Linea and Ma'chello helping them, and we shaved one of their oldest Selmak by providing a host.

Gee, now that part sounded really creepy to write.

Anyway, the list could go on with how we helped them with discovering a spy in their ranks, though from what Kosh said when he returned to the SGC had me worried.

I mean what do you do with a cryptic saying such as 'Hope, failed,' well it didn't mean Shaun'auc had died since she was standing right there next to Drey'auc. Not that 'Gandalf' was forth coming with an explanation. He just hung out in the gateroom until Drey'auc returned hours later.

Seeing her face I knew something was wrong, and not anything a hug was going to wipe away, though she did give me a wane smile for mine and Sha're's efforts.

"Tanith lied," Shaun'auc said in such a broken voice it took my breath away, I remember my eyes were wet just looking at how sad she was, "He is a Goa'uld intended to infiltrate the Tok'ra and betray them to the System Lords." Of course everyone wanted to know how this was found out. -I- certainly did.

"He almost, I almost..." and she couldn't say another word, just collapsed into Teal'c's arms, with Drey'auc also joining into the embrace.

Jaffa are strange that way. Sometimes they seem so unemotional or very private with their emotions and other times they could care less who sees them display them.

"Salvation. Hope. For the future," Kosh chimed and again I hadn't a clue what he meant. If Tanith is a traitor, how could any of this mean salvation, much less hope? Of course maybe the question should have been salvation or hope for who.

Drey'auc broke away first from the embrace, Teal'c kept holding Shaun'auc as if he intended to until the end of time.

"Tanith apparently was going to kill Shaun'auc, but Tek ma te Kosh prevented it somehow," she looked at Kosh and I couldn't tell if it was with a questioning look or accussational one as her tone was filled with neither, just respect, "The Tok'ra know, they suspected, and plan on using Tanith."

"As a controlled leak," Jack chimed in with Drey'auc absently nodding. To my ears it sounded as if Jack approved, though his look shouted 'For crying out loud, you could have told us, couldn't you?'

Again that absent nod from Drey'auc, she had something else on her mind besides shattered dreams of her favorite priestess. I'll bend her ear at lunch tomorrow, I'm sure by then she'll want to talk about it.

"It begins," a term I've heard from Kosh before, though what was it this time no-one knew. We had our guesses, from as simple as the gate starting to dial on its own, big surprise there he can do that, to something to do with Tanith, or my intuition is it has something to do with our resident Jaffa.

"Take care of him," Drey'auc had said to Kosh's back as he glided up the ramp and to the active Stargate. I saw the Vorlon paused, wondering (yes been doing that a lot with Kosh) just who the 'he' was she was talking about.

I didn't get to find out until Jack jumped jubilantly into bed that night. I lasted about two seconds with that 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' smile on his face. "Our boy Rya'c is going off to see the wizard," Jack quipped and let his smile grow as I gave him a death gaze silently demanding he be clearer, then had to actually speak through clenched teeth as if I was mad at him. Yes he saw through it, and I couldn't keep the act up, he could be so adorable when he's got the upper hand.

Yes, his detractors would say a pain in the mikta, as the Jaffa might say, a jerk or wise guy, but he's my guy so I see the humor in it and play along with this game of his. Both of us have got to have fun after all and his mock apologies are worth it.

"Who is Rya'c off to see?"

"Kosh. Teal'c told me he's off to travel and study with Kosh. Apparently T's boy was taken with the priestess and wanted to follow a more bookworm way among the Jaffa, you know be a preacher and all. Well no gods so the priesthood was out. Then behold," Jack made me giggle the way he said it so melodramatically, "Gandalf offers to make him an apprentice."

I let my skeptism drip into the silence that followed.

"Okay, Merlin didn't say apprentice. Actually I don't know what he said, T didn't say. Just offer to go and study with him, something about training to fight legends. T takes it to mean train to fight the gods, as in Goa'uld. At least enough to make a decision."

Seeing the glint in his eyes I knew one of his teases were coming up, with me as the target. "Say you know what else T mentioned to me?" Of course I bit the bait dangled in front of me.

"Jaffa men are allowed to have more than one wife. Shows his prestige among other Jaffas. That he's favored," yep, I see the windup and the pitch, his eyes always glittered in such a cute way when he was getting to one of his kind of punch lines, "You think maybe we should adopt that practice to show we're the big boys among the Jaffa?"

That was when the pillow fight began.

Author's notes: There was a reason I saved Shaun'auc's life and not just because I thought her death was senseless or Teal'c needed a reason to really hate Tanith. One I honestly thought it was a stretch for Tanith to be so dumb as to blow his cover by murdering Shaun'auc. Not when she hadn't discovered anything about him other than what he told her. Two I am setting up with something I made a goof on by not doing a thorough enough research on. In an earlier chapter I had Drey'auc say that Jaffa men didn't have multiple wives, and then I was reading up on Ishta for a different reason and read they do. So my goof, slight correction and notion where I might want to go in the future. This also explains why Teal'c in canon was so on fire for Shaun'auc when up to then and since he's given no hint of being unfaithful to Drey'auc.