The Shadows Descend
Even at 18 there is only so much a person can take, hell even at 40. Kyle really is doing something to my mind and I can't figure out what it is. He doesn't even get it, doesn't see and I don't think he would understand. Just like I don't understand I suppose. I just have to try, have to see and end up making everything complicated. It doesn't have to be complicated I know it doesn't.
But he makes it that way and so does she. Together they make my life miserable. When he kissed me it was different from when she and I did. Then, just when I thought things couldn't get worse for me this happened. It almost as if they planned it, I knew their life couldn't go back to normal after that and I could see it. Only this time Shelly isn't here and I'm old enough to understand, but I don't want to.
It's been a month. Mom and Dad are getting worse than I've ever seen, Kyle never seemed upset about that black eye I gave him but I hate that. I didn't mean to and I can't express how sorry I was and am, and how I wished I didn't do it, but he doesn't care about it. At first he said he was pissed, but he said he was worried about me. Said it wasn't me.
I don't know what my mom and the principal talked about that day but it was something important. They have been meeting ever since and now I have to go see the school counsellor starting next week about something and I think it's stupid.
Although to top things off Kyle decided to invite me over to stay at Clyde's with him cause they're all watching wrestling and then camping out on the lawn cause a lot of guys are going. Getting wasted like usually so lame, but Kyle wants me to go so I guess I will.
I guess he decided this weekend at Clyde's would fix everything, but I knew that it wouldn't. So maybe it healed a black eye problem but it made me realize I tried something I knew I shouldn't have.
"Stan you can't go" Randy said. "You're still being punished."
"Dad I've been back to school for an entire month now, what are you talking about. I went to the movies last week, why is this any different." Stan argued back.
"Randy you're being ridicules, what do you mean he can't go? He's already been punished for that." Sharon jumped in, placing her coffee cup on the table and placing her hands on her hips.
"It's fine mom, I don't have to go, I don't want to."
"Oh you happy now Randy! Now he's upset, it's just a sleepover!"
"That's good Sharon, real nice! Make him take your side and hate me" Stan could hear his parents fighting as he ascended to his room and he hated it even more. Another day at home was going to drive him crazy- his parents were always bickering and lately he's been the fuse, no matter what.
Ever since the accident with Kyle Randy has just wanted to keep punishing him because his mom wanted to lift it but frankly he didn't care what his punishment was as long as he could leave the house.
Clyde's was tomorrow night and he already said he would go not knowing his parents would go all psycho again, but he almost expected it.
"He doesn't need you always breathing down his back!!!" he could hear his mother shouting.
"And he certainly doesn't need a mother to nurture him at 18"
"He always needs a mother, I'm not so sure he needs a father."
Stan placed his headphones over his ears and turned his music on, anything to drown them out. The louder his music was the better it made him feel about everything. Listening to music about how bad someone else's life made him feel better. The only thing better was to actually see it.
Song after song ended and the dead silence between each track brought him back to the reality of his parents fighting downstairs. Now it was over money, 5 minutes from now it'd be about Shelly at college and then 20 minutes from now it'll be about the mortgage on the house- it just never ended. Constant bitter attacks from one mouth to the other and the root of the problems always seem to come back to one person, Stan- or so he thought.
Stan wasn't much of an artist, but lately he had been having these vivid dreams that involved Kyle and his parents but they look odd and sound different. The colours the shapes and creatures every time he closed his eyes he saw them, trying to tear him and his family apart and Kyle was always there just… watching.
He sat up in bed and grabbed his newly purchased sketching utensils and paper and started grafting out one of these creatures, poorly but still greatly absurd. He looked at his doorway and saw Kyle standing there and wondered if he was dreaming, but it all seemed too real. He continued to draw instead, shrugging it off as a daydream.
"Stan!" he heard through his music. He removed his headphones and looked at the red head boy standing awkwardly in his doorway wondering why he was even there.
"Are you ready to go? I have the tent." Stan shrugged grabbed a bag and shoved dirty clothes on the floor in it, grabbed a pillow and blanket and left the room.
" I sure am"
"Stanley I thought we told you. You are staying in"
"For god sakes Randy give it a rest!" Sharon ripped the magazine she was reading from her face to confront her husband once again.
"Come on" Stan said, gripping Kyle's wrist and dragging him out the door. After realizing he was almost holding Kyle's hand he blushed lightly.
The wrestling game sucked and Stan hated the last few hours of his life, but it got him out of the house so he supposed it couldn't be that bad. He looked over at Kyle who was fixing his sleeping bag and getting ready for bed.
"Kyle… do you remember the dance?"
"Sorta, ya…why? Is that the reason you punched me" he joked but Stan could hear a lace of honesty in his voice.
"That would have to be the farthest of why I'd punch-' they both stopped and looked at each other. "What I mean is- no it wasn't. Did you feel anything when you did that? Like sparks or something in you?"
"Where is this going dude?"
"I think… I'm sure actually, that…" Kyle was waiting for him to spit it out.
"That my parents are getting a divorce." He changed his mind at the last second and told him something else to change the trail of the previous conversation. He had been averting eyes with him all night.
"What?! W... when did that happen? I had no idea."
"Kyle?"
"Are you going to be ok?"
"How serious are you and Rebecca?"
"Um… I don't think we're serious at all; she's very focused on her work. What about you and Wendy?"
"I don't know, I've sorta been avoiding her calls and at school for the last while."
"Are you sad?" Stan asked Kyle curiously, staring at his sleeping bag. "About Rebecca?"
"A little I suppose."
"Well…" Stan edged forward moving onto the sleeping bag with him feeling panicked but unable to stop. "We can keep it just between us" He whispered. "That you're sad you know" Kyle laughed and shoved his best friend.
"Here I thought you were going to give me some cheering up advice."
"You want advice?" Stan said and thought about what the advice could be.
"Ya, defiantly." He replied waiting for him to give him a funny line that had nothing to do with the conversation. Kyle was right about one thing, it didn't have much to do with the conversation but it wasn't funny.
"Don't ever get married." He gave him a slight smile.
"You know Stan, it may not be so bad maybe it will make everything better, maybe they just need time apart to sort things out."
"Kyle like you would say that if they were your parents! Sorry."
Stan grabbed at Kyle's face and kissed him hard pushing him to the sleeping bag he had just laid out. Stan now was semi-straddling Kyle who pushed him away from his face to see what came over him.
"Sta-"
All the pain I feel
couldn't start to heal
although I would like it to
this time I'm for real
"Shhh…" He placed his lips over Kyle's once again and ran his hand down him arm to rest on his side. Kyle's hands lifted themselves to the back of Stan's neck and it egged him on, kissing more aggressively, pursuing the inside of his mouth. Kyle felt as if this was wrong, not that he was kissing a guy but because he was doing to make himself feel better. Rebecca was ignoring him, and Stan could be like any other girl taking his mind off her.
Kyle pushed Stan on his back and took charge of the situation; he wasn't going to let Stan be the stronger end of this. Ever since they were little and all through high school Stan always had the upper hand, sure bad things happened to him, but he was always the one in charge. He could tell now that Stan was like something he could mould and he was going to take advantage of that.
He trailed his kisses down his neck and slightly lifted his shirt. It was quite cold outside and both boys were lightly shivering. Kyle grabbed the blanket Stan brought and laid it over them, instantly feeling its heat. Kyle ran his hands up and down Stan's upper body feeling the boy squirm. He had never made anyone feel like this before and it made him smile inside. So he continued.
He started to nibble his ear and massaging his hips. Stan's hands never left Kyle's body while he was attacking his body and to be honest, Kyle didn't mind. He could say he never felt this way too, but he was sure that Stan wouldn't understand what he meant by that.
He did feel sparks or whatever Stan was talking about, in the pit of his stomach whenever he kissed Stan, but they happened whenever Stan would whimper or dig into his back with dull fingertips.
Their lips meshed once more and Stan locked his arms behind Kyle's neck, letting his tongue trace his lips. Kyle suddenly felt guilt and felt as if things were being taken too far and too intense and he pulled away.
"We gotta get sleep" Kyle said and he left the blanked and went to his own area leaving Stan confused to curl up on his own and to remember the trails of burning flesh that Kyle left behind. He had a hard time steadying his breathing and the shakes. His little friend down below wasn't helping too much either.
"I'm going home Kyle." Stan said quietly.
"Shut up Stan, and sleep."
"No, I'm cold and… I don't want to sleep in a tent in the middle of winter."
"It's not winter, come here" Kyle go up and wrapped a pair of warm arms around Stan's torso and struggled him into a spooning position with him. Stan felt tense and couldn't relax his beating heart and heightened breath.
"Don't bother" Stan told him but couldn't actually leave.
"Shut up,' he kissed the nape of his neck "and go to sleep asshole." Stan closed his eyes, shivering from both the cold and Kyle's arms. He didn't know if this was a dream or reality or even what Kyle was doing, but he like it.
Thanks 2 funtime and IzzBella! Ya smiles. Next chap soon.
Please review.
BMB