Disclaimer: Still not mine.

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THE MAD ADVENTURES OF LILLIAN RIDDLE

CHAPTER FOUR

We now interrupt this irregularly scheduled program…

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Lucius Malfoy stepped into the fire and came out in Severus Snape's private quarters. Severus, absorbed in a bottle of vintage port, scowled as he noticed who had entered. Damn. Lucius would want him to share.

"Good evening, Severus," Lucius greeted him courteously.

"Lucius," Severus said curtly.

"You know, I had a most interesting meeting this afternoon," Lucius continued on, impervious to his less-than-warm welcome. "I was speaking to Cornelius about a little donation to the Ministry" –goddamn name dropper, Severus thought sourly – "when who should ask us for directions but a young lady under some kind of disguising charms."

"Really?" Severus' voice was sarcastic. "How… fascinating, Lucius."

"It became so, my dear Severus," Lucius returned, "when she revealed her name to be Lillian Riddle."

Severus stiffened, the grip on his glass of port tightening.

"Now, you are aware, I believe, that my cane here allows me to see past certain illusionary charms?... You are? Good. Well, my dear Severus, what particularly interested me was that I was able to see that not only was the young lady quite young – I would say, about Draco's age – but quite the image of our lord at a similar age. I hinted at the possibility of her father being our lord… quite discreetly, I couldn't have Cornelius catching on, after all… and she turned quite pale and almost fainted. What do you say to that, Severus?"

Severus said nothing, preferring to take a large gulp of port instead. Lucius smiled faintly, and pouring himself a glass, joined him.

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Ted glared at Joy. She glared back just as fiercely.

"And when were you planning on telling me this?" he asked finally, voice like ice.

"Never!" Joy snapped. "I'd left the wizarding world for good! They saw me as an inferior because I didn't have magic! I'd left that world behind!"

"Really?" Ted's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "And what did you plan to have happen when Lillian turned out to be a witch?"

Joy slumped suddenly.

"Not have her go." She sounded depressed. "I know the kinds of people Lexy used to hang around with, and Lillian's father was probably one of them. With that kind of heritage, can you imagine what would happen?"

"What about this letter?" Ted said suddenly. "About Luke Skywalker and all that? What's she going on about?"

Joy slumped.

"You-Know-Who' name was originally Tom Riddle."

Ted gaped.

"And knowing Lexy, it's quite possible!" Joy burst out. "Always hanging around with the wrong crowd, just like Uncle Sempronius! It'd be just like her to end up having the Dark Lord's baby!"

Ted sighed.

"I think you need to keep explaining," he said tiredly.

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Minerva McGonagall was putting the Hogwarts letters into their envelopes when one of the names made her gasp.

A few minutes later Dumbledore was happily eating lemon drops when she burst into his office, clutching a piece of parchment and an envelope. She thrust them wordlessly at it.

Raising his eyebrows, Albus took them from her and looked at them.

Lillian Riddle

Double-Decker Bus

Travelling through Belgium

The letter was an ordinary Hogwarts letter, but it too ha the surprising name.

"Albus – " Minerva said breathlessly, half-fearful, "you don't think-?"

"Indeed," he said thoughtfully. "I would say that, at some point, Voldemort became a father."

It was a very good thing that Quirrell wasn't listening to their conversation.

The reply arrived a week later.

Dear Hogwarts

Thank you very much for your offer. I am sure you are a very fine school, but I am afraid I must regretfully decline as I am on a tour of Europe right now. Don't worry, I am learning from my textbooks and from my friends so my education is okay. Bob even taught me a spell to cool beer. Thank you for your letter, though.

Yours sincerely,

Lillian Sempronia Merope Riddle

Albus put it away thoughtfully. He had a feeling that sooner or later he would meet this young lady. He had no doubt that it would be a highly interesting meeting.

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Dear Auntie Joy and Uncle Ted,

Hi! I'm fine. I'm in Belgium right now, the postcard's got a really nice photo of part of Brussels. Nice, don't you think?

I'm traveling with a bunch of hitchhikers on a magical double-decker bus. They're all great! They figured that since I was only eleven I needed supervision, but they're really fun.

Will write again soon.

Love Lillian

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