Chapter Four

Sara walked into the bathroom, her steps slowing when she found Catherine leaning over one of the sinks. The older woman's body was hunched over, her hands, resting along the back of the basin, supporting it – and, from the way it trembled, it was apparent she was crying. Not wanting to startle her by speaking – in case Catherine hadn't heard her come in – Sara made sure that her final two steps shuffled on the floor before she came to a standstill.

Hearing this, Catherine stood up straight, her back to Sara whilst she wiped her eyes, then she turned round.

"Oh… Sara, hey," she said, quietly, her forced smile falling when she realised she was with someone she didn't have to pretend to.

Sara offered a small sympathetic smile, and stepped closer to Catherine. "Hey… I'd ask how you're doing, but… you're probably sick of hearing that."

Catherine nodded absently and leaned against the sink. "I – " she stopped without saying anything else, her head falling forwards. After several deep inhalations - failed attempts to curb her need to cry – she raised a despairing face to Sara; her eyes almost pleading for help.

The younger CSI hesitated a little, not really sure what to say – people not being her strong point. "The.. er… The guys are working on it… I'm sure they'll find something soon. The friends she was with outside of school might have seen… something."

"If there was anything to see," Catherine muttered quietly. A few seconds later, she moved. "I should be doing something," she growled through gritted teeth, slamming her hands against the basin in agitation as she pushed away from it.

"Like what?" Sara asked calmly.

Catherine's head shot round to face her, her eyes hard and glaring, wide with shock.

"Everything that can be done is being done, Catherine… It is difficult, and frustrating, but, logically, there is nothing you can do… You've worked on missing children cases before… You're in the same position as all of those parents. You've got to let the police do their job."

Catherine's look crumpled. "She's my baby girl, Sara…"

"I know," Sara said, softly now, taking another supportive step towards her. "But you know there isn't anything you can do… You should go home…"

Catherine shook her head as adamantly as her depleted energy would allow her to. "I can't… I can't face being there, without her… If I'm here, then… I don't know, it's - … If I go home, she won't be there… And it just makes it all more… real." The last word came out on a whimper, preceding more sobs and tears.

Sara closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around Catherine's shoulders. "It is real, Cath… I know you don't want to face it, but you need to… for Lindsey's sake… When you get her back, she is going to need for you to remember this feeling, but not dwell on it… She will need you to learn from this, and to use it to help her."

Catherine pulled back. "But what if I don't get her – "

"You will," Sara interrupted, fixing her with an assuring look that told her to think positively.

Catherine nodded. "Thanks, Sara."

Sara gave her a small smile. "No problem."

Catherine stood up straight, and took a deep breath. "I need to be stronger than this," she told herself quietly, then she smiled in thanks to Sara and left the bathroom.

-----

As Grissom turned the corner into the corridor that housed the bathrooms, he spotted Catherine up ahead of him. Calling to her, he felt his heart break a little more when her tear-stained face turned to meet him.

"Hey," she said, quietly.

"I thought you were with Archie," he said, equally softly.

Her head tilted in the direction she had been heading. "Was just on my way."

Grissom nodded. "You don't – "

"Yes I do," she interrupted him. "I need to be helping… I can't just sit back and do nothing."

"You wouldn't be doing nothing. You'd be taking care of yourself so that you'll be ready to take care of Lindsey when we get her back."

"I'm not going home, Gil…"

He nodded again, understanding her reasons for not wanting to go home, without her having to explain. "Okay… Go and see Archie; look over the footage again; then, when you're done, find me and you can come home with me."

Her eyes widened a little, then she smiled gratefully. "Thank you," she said, her voice barely audible.

"No need," he shrugged. "We can go whenever you need to."

Catherine nodded, and smiled appreciatively, before resuming her route to the AV lab.

Grissom watched her walk away, and his determination flared once more. They had to find Lindsey.

He was startled from his thoughts by Sara's voice from behind him.

"She's not doing very well, is she?" the woman asked.

Grissom turned to look at her, shaking his head slowly. "No, she isn't."

"I always thought she was the strong one…"

"No amount of strength can prepare you for this," he stated, his eyes returning, pensively, to where Catherine had walked along the corridor.

Sara shook her own head. "I guess not…" she said quietly, her eyes following his.

After a short silence, Grissom brought his thoughts back to the present, and turned to Sara. "Listen, Sara, I need to keep as many people on this as possible, so I'm gonna need you to be on call for other cases," he said.

When she didn't take him on, he added, "Sara?"

She snapped round to face him, nodding. "Yeah, that's fine… I'll be on call."

Grissom smiled. "Thanks… I'll see you later."

-----

Grissom stopped his car outside his townhouse and turned in his seat to look at Catherine.

She had drifted into sleep about five minutes after they left the lab, lulled by the scenery that she was watching pass by the vehicle.

Part of him didn't want to wake her up. They had remained at the lab longer than he had wanted her to, whilst she trailed every second of the security footage from both the car park and the school, only to, reluctantly, come to the same conclusion that Warrick and Greg had come to. There was nothing on either tape to give any indication as to who had taken Lindsey. It was looking like the only hope was Lindsey's other school friends, and they would have to wait until morning to hear if any of them saw anything.

He watched her for a few seconds longer, analysing the pros and cons of waking her. Obviously she would be much better off sleeping indoors, in a bed, rather than in his car; but she didn't want to be asleep, and if he woke her, there was a chance she wouldn't be able to settle down again, and she needed the rest.

He was just contemplating his chances of carrying her into the house without disturbing her slumber, when she started to mumble in her sleep. Her breathing was getting faster and deeper, and sweat was starting to break out at her temples.

Immediately concerned, Grissom leapt out of the car and ran round to her side, opening the door and positioning himself beside her, facing her. He gently shook her shoulder, whispering her name at progressively louder volumes until she jerked awake, tears instantly bursting from her eyes.

He wrapped his arms around her and held her until her sobs subsided and she pulled back from him.

"I was hoping it was all a dream," she confessed quietly.

There was no comforting way to respond to that with words. He raised one hand and brushed the matted hair away from her tear soaked cheeks, letting his hand linger on her skin, gently erasing the tear tracks. "Let's go inside," he whispered.

She nodded, so he stepped back, out of the car, and took her hand as she followed him.

He quickly locked the car and unlocked the house, and indicated for Catherine to go in ahead of him while he secured the door after them.

She had drifted slowly up the path to the house, and hadn't said a word to him at all since getting out of the car, and now, he walked the few steps into his living room to find that she had already curled up on the sofa, asleep – which made him wonder if she had actually been fully awake at all.

Not wanting to disturb her again, he draped a blanket over her body, and sat down in a chair at his table, from where he could keep a watchful eye over her, in case the nightmares started again – or in case she woke up, returning to the nightmare they were living.

TBC…