Tumblr about my stories: JaimiStoryTeller
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Lots of thanks to NoOrdinarySouthernGirl for all of her help
James' POV
Dinner went surprisingly well, the three very hostile alphas all a lot calmer now that John was up and about though they were still somewhat bitter towards him. The mated couple leaves follow dinner, after telling the two dark-haired alphas not to do anything rash. He's not surprised by the way both dark-haired alphas hiss at the detective inspector which is when John tells them to calm down, too. Eventually, they had retreated back to his mate's room after the smaller man orders the three alphas to behave.
In his mate's room he feels slightly awkward since this is not his flat, but ignores that feeling in favor of focusing on his mate.
"John?" he queries softly as he sits on the edge of the smaller man's bed while he seems to flutter around the room. A nervous tick he had noticed years before when they had first started their courtship.
Freezing for a moment, the younger man glances over at him, "Yes?"
"Can we talk?" he inquires, putting aside his normal habit of not wanting to talk about things regarding emotions or feelings. This was going to be a difficult conversation. Not one he actually wants to have, but one that is necessary.
For a moment the younger man shifts from foot to foot before coming over to settle on the edge of the bed close to his good side, but not touching it. "Alright," he murmurs, "What do you want to talk about?"
Closing his eyes he, decides to do this in order of importance. That means discussing his mate's emotional state, probably discussing his, covering the flat and the fact John avoids theirs so they should get a different one. Maybe they can find one near where his mate lives with his flatmate? Let's see, what else do they need to discuss; the pregnancy, their future. Maybe he should just start the conversation and see where it goes.
"Several things, both of our health, the flat and possibly moving, the fact you're pregnant, whatever else comes to mind. I've been thinking a lot and realize that I have done poorly by you." He answers softly.
It hurts the way his mate flinches away from him. Reminding him exactly how badly he has done.
"If you say so," the omega mutters defensively, not looking directly at him.
Silence reigns for several long minutes while he tries to figure out where to start and his love waits for him to say something.
Finally, he figures he best start this or he might lose his nerve. That would be a major disservice to the younger man. "I would ask why you didn't talk to me about being depressed and the fact you thought I was trying to leave you, except I already understand. I did that to myself by not being there for you. Now that I am here, please tell me anything you think I need to know or you want to say."
John stares at him, eyes brimming with emotion, jaw set stubbornly. "Will it do any good?" he demands tartly.
He forces himself not to flinch, "Yes."
"Then why? Why did you push me away? Why couldn't I be there? What did I do wrong?" There is deep sadness in his voice, hopelessness and anger.
Lifting his chin slightly as he straightens his back, he answers, "Because I am a fool. I thought it would be better if I left you on your own. After all, I was only around for a month out of the year so I thought it would not harm you. I forgot that you could feel my emotions in the bond. I forgot that it would affect you." He pauses for a moment, taking a deep breath, "I was wrong." He tries to smile reassuringly but is certain it fails, "John, you did nothing, nothing, wrong. It was completely me."
Silence falls between them once more, he hopes that his mate will be willing to discuss things, but understands why he might not. Agitatedly, the younger man gets up and paces for across the room. His smaller body moving from side to side while he works off his excess energy.
Suddenly the smaller man turns to him, snarling, "It hurt damn it! It hurt worse than when William threw me out, leaving me in the middle of London with nothing but the clothes on my back and in my duffle bag. It hurt worse than discovering that I could never follow my dream of being an army doctor because of a heart murmur that was sporadic thus medication could not be easily regulated."
His mate suddenly stops, head dropping as he tries to take shallow breathe, arms crossing in front of him against his chest.
Standing, he swiftly moves to his mate's side, unsure whether he should pull the smaller man to him, or continue past to the door to fetch his brother-in-law. "John?" he questions calmly, one hand tentatively reaching for his mate but stopping just shy of touching him because he is not sure his touch is welcome right now. Uncertainly he queries, "Do you want me to fetch Jim?"
He is surprised when his mate shakes his head and presses closer without actually touching him. It is then he realizes he is more hesitant than his mate. Carefully, he wraps his arms loosely around the smaller man's shoulders and tugging him closer.
"It's alright John, everything will be alright," he murmurs as he holds him, "Just let go, I got you."
"But do you? How do I know you're not going to leave me again?" His mate's timbre is husky, broken.
Closing his eyes, he answers, "I know I've made it hard to trust me, but I am going nowhere."
Slowly, the younger man's arms slip around his waist and he scoots just a little closer, bridging the distance between them.
"I missed you," his mate just about keens.
Holding him just a bit tighter, he mumbles comfortingly, "I know love. I realize that now. It's alright, it will be alright."
He can feel his shirt getting sopping wet from where his mate's tears fall, each breath and sob is felt like a knife cutting through him. At the same time it was wonderful because it felt like they were finally getting past all of the pain and sorrow. He'd accept every ounce of pain if only it would make his John feel better. He couldn't tell you how long they stood there, his arms wrapped his beautiful mate while the younger man finally let go off all the pain. Eventually the tears slowed but his mate does not move away, he stays where he is hugging him.
"You said I'm pregnant, how could I be pregnant? I take my birthcontrol like clockwork and we use the heat pills. They've never failed before!" His mate's just about screeches as he steps back to stare at him.
Focusing on his scent, he tries for relaxing, wanting his mate to calm down. "Sometimes, when an omega is going through AOS, their body will override contraceptives in order to draw the alpha back and give the omega a reason to keep living. It is part of the reason the military has such strict rules regarding bonded alphas and omegas."
Glaring, his mate hisses, "I know that! I did finish medical school, I just don't understand how I-" he suddenly stops, his voice getting very soft, "That's why Jim's been so furious. He watched his mum die of AOS and I have been going through it. Oh shit." He turns on his heel and is out of the room before he has a chance to stop him.
Silently he follows the younger man, still concerned about his emotional state and health.
In the living room he finds the brothers together, the alpha's slender arms wrapped around his mate. Their cheeks pressed close together as they speak inaudibly with each other. There is clearly a case of comfort between them.
The blonde alpha staying back and merely observing as well, a speculative expression on his face.
When his eyes meet his brother-in-law's there is clear understanding that if he ever pulls a stunt like this again, he'll pay for it in the most painful way possible.
He nods once in understanding.
Eventually the two brothers step a part, his mate smiling fondly at the dark-haired genius. He is surprised with the look in the alpha's eyes, it's shockingly warm and affectionate. As soon as he glances up a coldness fills his eyes, the change is startling fast.
"It's alright," he hears his mate comment as his hand presses against his half-brother's jaw.
"Go relax," the alpha gently orders, amusement enters his voice as he continues, "Now that you are aware I get to properly take care of you, which includes telling you to take it easy. I'll make sure the café is run the way you want it."
"Just because you're two years older doesn't mean I have to listen. However, I am going to enjoy the sound and scent proofing of my room." There is a playful quality to his words.
"We don't need to know that Johnny-boy," the blonde alpha remarks as he chuckles.
His omega smirks at the older men, before cocking his head to the side and asking, "Where's Sherlock?"
"Checking to see if the flats done yet, something about too many people here," the sniper responds.
"I think he's bored of my company," his brother-in-law states playfully, "Perhaps I should cause trouble just to catch his interest."
"No, you two behave and no playing games with Sherlock that involve other people. I'm still listening to bitching about the last one," his mate remarks, "Why don't you two play a game of hide and seek, I'm sure with your memories you can keep each other entertained. 'Bastian stays out, so its only the you and Sherlock."
Popping his neck, the dark-haired alpha replies, "That has some merit to consider. What type of rules?"
"The two rules I always make you two agree to." his mate responds seriously.
In a bored tone, his brother-in-law recites, "No injuring, maiming, harming, or killing of any civilians or innocents. No lasting physical effects on each other." Grumbling the dark-haired alpha states, "The things I agree on for you. Now go."
"Bring some food down later?" his love asks the blonde alpha.
"Of course, anything in particular?"
"Fruity and salty, you figure it out."
"Omegas, you eat such weird foods."
Smiling, his mate returns to his side, and after a moment's pause takes his hand before heading back to the bedroom. Once in the room the younger man shuts the door and locks all four locks before smiling shyly at him.
Curious he asks, "Why did you lock it so many times?"
"Slow's Sherlock down in case he wants to come in," his mate responds taking of his shoes, "I appreciate the fact my room is sound and scent proof, but it's sometimes a frustrating thing."
He smiles, understanding that it was more for his sake than his mate's.
"Did you mean it when you said we would discuss getting a different flat?" his omega asks as he settles onto his bed.
Nodding, he joins him, "I did, perhaps one near your alpha friend?" He offers. Its in the city but perhaps they could find somewhere sort of quiet and possibly they could visit the cottage from time to time when things would get too much.
John's eyes widen as he stares at him, "You'd do that?"
He nods slowly, simply stating, "I want you to be happy. Your life is here between the café, career, friends, and that crazy brother of yours."
"Jim's not crazy, just a bit bipolar," his mate grumbles as he scoots a little bit closer, "James?"
"Yes?" he responds, settling an arm behind his mate but not touching him.
"You're not upset about me being pregnant are you?" the younger man asks.
Shaking his head slowly, he answers, "No love, I'm not upset about your pregnancy. Scared? Perhaps a bit. Worried? Of course, I've errored with you. What will happen with a pup? Excited? A bit, I sort of thought we would discuss whether we wanted to try or not, but that makes me no less happy about it."
Curious, his omega mentions, "You're being awful open right now."
Sighing, he answers the unspoken question in that sentence. "Because I realize I have been wrong."
Hesitantly, John's head barely lays against his shoulder, as if wanting to cuddle and not sure he is welcome. Tilting his head, he presses his lips against his mate's temple. For a long while the two of them just sit there, his arm just a bit closer now that his mate has leaned into him. He enjoys breathing in his mate's scent, wondering how he could have ever of thought he would be better off with his mate elsewhere.
"Do we have to talk about the rest now?" his love eventually inquires softly.
"We can discuss it whenever you want," he answers, "I'm going to try and be a better alpha John, one worthy of you and our pup."
Quietly, his mate nods once before closing his eyes, his head resting a bit firmer on his shoulder. Eventually he scoots them further on the bed, stretching his legs out, and pulling the younger man up beside him. The two of them fall asleep wrapped in each other's arms.