Chapter 4

Christians POV

"I want details, Welch! I want to know who they are, where Hyde found them! Dammit! I want to know what their fucking grandmothers ate for dinner!" I stare blankly at the screen on the wall as Taylor shouts over the phone. A940001657. Surgery in progress. "Easier if I brought them in for questioning?! Excuse me for shooting at people who were shooting at me!" He huffs and quiets down as someone walks through the waiting room. "Yes I know… No. She's still in surgery. No one's come out yet. Yeah. Good point. I'll talk to the boss about it later. Keep me posted."

The room is silent once again. I continue to stare at the information screen. A940001657. Surgery in progress. "Did you call my mother?" I mutter, barely above a whisper. I can't move my eyes away from those words.

"Yes, Mr. Grey. She's on her way," Taylor responds quietly. "I also got ahold of Mr. Steele and Mrs. Adams. He's driving over right now as well. Mrs. Adams can't make it, she says to keep her updated." I roll my eyes. Figures, I think darkly. Her own daughter is in emergency surgery half way across the country and she isn't coming.

"Good thinking. Did you tell them that he…" I can't say it and bury my face in my hands. If I say it, it will make real, too real to deal with right now. How could this happen? I ask myself for the hundredth time. How could I let him anywhere near my beautiful Ana?

"No sir, I didn't. I just said there was a break in and she was shot," he says gently. "I figured it wasn't my place to say."

I nod slowly. "Thank you, Taylor. Will you go check on the others for me?"

"I'm the only member of the security team who hasn't been compromised and Hyde is still out there sir. I'd have to take you with me."

I snort. There's no way in hell that I'm leaving this lobby until Ana is out of surgery. "Hyde wasn't after me, Taylor. He knew I was in New York," I say bitterly. "He was after Ana." Taylor gives me a look and I can see that he's holding something back. "What is it?"

Taylor looks away. "I don't know if now is the best time for this conversation, sir."

"Anastasia has been shot and attacked, Taylor. I want to know what you found out!" I say dangerously.

He gives me a sympathetic look. "I haven't been fully debriefed yet sir," he warns. "But from the little I've gotten out of Sawyer and Ryan, he was using Mrs. Grey as an indirect way to get to you. We found a letter in the apartment that he was going to leave for you. Welch is going over it now."

"I want to see that letter tonight," I say quietly and lean back in the uncomfortable chair. Deep down somewhere, I already know Hyde was using Ana to get to me. Years of self-loathing start to creep back up. If it weren't for me, Ana wouldn't be in this situation. She would be safe somewhere here in Seattle… My thoughts are disrupted by a commotion near the entrance to the E.R.

"What do you mean you can't tell me what's happening!" I turn around. Ray is standing at the desk yelling at the reception. "I'm her damn father how much closer to next of kin can I be!" He angrily searches the lobby and spots us. I read the screen again. A940001657. Surgery in progress.

He storms past the desk and makes his way to where Taylor and I are sitting. He's going to kill me. I can't help but think that it is the least I deserve. I promised to protect her and keep her safe. He stops in front of me and his anger sputters out. "What the hell happened to you, son?" Ray asks softly, taking in my appearance. I know I look like shit. My eye is swollen and I probably need stitches for the gash on my cheek. But I've managed to shoo the nurses away from me. I'm not leaving this waiting room. Ray's eyes travel down to my blood soaked dress shirt and he visibly pales. I'd used my jacket to help keep Ana warm – and to cover her up- on the drive to the hospital.

"He got away, but not before I found him," I say simply.

Ray nods approvingly. "Bastard. I hope you got him good. How is she?"

"I don't know. We haven't gotten any updates," I add worriedly.

"I brought a change of clothes that might fit you." Ray gestures at my ruined shirt.

I shake my head. "I'm not leaving this waiting room until she is." Me not being there is what got her into trouble in the first place. "I need to be here if something happens."

Thankfully Ray doesn't argue. He pulls up a chair and sighs. "Whatever it was that happened, it wasn't your fault, you know."

I shake my head. "No Ray it was. I was the one who wanted her to stay home. If she'd gone out drinking with Kate, none of this would have happened." I cover my face with my hands and let out a sob. My self-control has gone out the window. "Hyde would have broken into an empty apartment. She could die, all because of me!" I duly note that the E.R. waiting room is starting to fill up with people.

Ray stiffens, but pats my shoulder. I flinch but don't stop him. It reminds me of Ana. My beautiful, loving, darling wife. "Is it that bad?" he asks Taylor, who I assume nods because I hear Ray whisper "sweet mother of Jesus."

We fall into an intense silence and I let my mind drift to our wedding day. I remember watching her walk down the aisle and wondering what I had done to deserve someone so amazing. She was so happy, so alive. I sob again. And again. And again. For her to go out like this… It isn't fair. She's only 21. She's just barely graduated college. We haven't even been married two months! I think bitterly. I was going to show her the world. Give her a family. We were supposed to grow old together, for god sake. When I promised 'till death do us part,' I never thought it would mean this. Why would fate give me such a precious gift, just to take it away?

I try to imagine Ana in her wedding dress, but all I can see is her lying there on the floor, with her bra ripped apart and her skirt bunched around her hips. When I try to think about her soft her skin is under my hands or the scent of her hair, I see the dark purple bruises; the blood caked in her glorious brown locks. Will these be the last memories I have of the love of my life? Of her bleeding out in my arms? I think about yesterday morning before I left for New York. If I knew it could be the last time we would be together, I would have made love to her, make her realize just how much she means to me. My Ana, my more, who taught me that I could be loved… There is no way I can live without her. I'll find Hyde, I'll make him suffer. I'll kill him with my bare hands. But after that?

Someone wraps their arms around me and I look up. Mia stares down at me, wide eyed. Mia, the only other person in the world that I have ever let touch me. How fucked up does that sound? "Everything is okay Christian," she says, pulling me into a tight hug. "Ana's a fighter. She'll make it." She was a fighter. But now, after what Hyde's done to her, is she still willing?

"If everything was okay Mia, I wouldn't be sitting here waiting for someone to tell me whether or not I'm going to be a widow!" I sob. She looks at me, stunned. I don't think anyone in my family has ever seen me this emotional.

"Oh darling!" My mother says and shoos Mia away from me. She kneels down in front of me. "Has anyone come out to talk to you yet?" I shake my head and glance up at the screen. A940001657. Surgery in progress.

"Please," I whisper. "Please find out what is happening, mom. She's been in surgery for over two hours."

She raises her hand to touch the gash on my cheek. "I will, darling. But this needs to be stitched up. And we need to find you a change of clothes."

Ray sighs next to me. "I've already tried to talk him into it, Grace."

I shake my head. "I'm not leaving this lobby until I know she's alright," I say stubbornly and wipe my eyes.

"I will get someone to come out here and give us an update, but Christian Trevelyn –Grey you will get cleaned up straight after," she scolds me. "Sometime today your wife is going to wake up and expect to see you at her bedside. You'll give the poor girl a heart attack looking like this."

"I'm not leaving, Mother," I repeat tiredly. "My Ana is back there somewhere, cut open on a table. And she's like that because I wasn't there. I'm not leaving her-"

"Family of Anastasia Grey?" I hear someone say and I shoot up out of my chair.

IIIIIIIIIIIII

The first thing I notice is how frail and lifeless she looks. She is covered in wires and skin is paler then I've ever seen it. I bend over and tenderly place a kiss on her blue tinged lips. I caress the bandage wrapped around her head. My Ana… There is tape over her eyes and I look up at my mother who has stepped back to give me a few minutes. "Can I take this off?" I ask her quietly.

Mom looks up from Ana's chart and gives me a soft smile. "Yes dear. It was just to keep her eyes closed in surgery." I nod and reach over and slowly take off the tape, as if she might break. Childishly, part of me expects her to look up at me with her bright blue eyes, but she doesn't.

I pull up a chair and sit next to her bed, caressing her arm. A surge of anger runs through me. Hyde will pay for what he's done. I will to spend the rest of my life and every dollar I've ever made, looking for him. I will keep Ana safe if it's the last thing I do.

A/N: Gah! Such a heart wrencher to write! I can see you are all worried about whether or not Hyde raped Ana. I wanted to make you wait until the next chapter to find out (yes, it's been very unclear on purpose) but I suppose I'll give it away: Christian got there before Jack Hyde had a chance, he just doesn't know it yet. So no rape. Everyone can take a deep breath!