Okay, it has been a while but I hated the last chapter almost as much as you guys. SO! I am re-writing it! Don't worry, the event with Keef never happened! I hope I have redeemed myself. Tell me what you think….
No one wanted to help him! Why not? All he wanted was some answers!
Zim slowly trudged back to his house in defeat. Stupid TellyVision! If he hadn't watched that show then this wouldn't have happened! Zim sighed as he opened the door and flopped down onto the couch.
WAIT A MINUTE!
Zim sat up so abruptly he fell off the couch. Why hadn't he thought of it before?
"YES! I have done it! I AM ZIM!" He yelled to nothing.
"Really? I thought you were Dib in disguise." Computer beeped sarcastically.
"HOW MANY TIME MUST I TELL YOU TO SHUT IT! AND DON'T COMPARE ME TO THE DIB!" Zim shouted. "Now, leave me to my thoughts! And my INGENIOUS plan!"
"Maybe we'll all be lucky and you'll manage to blow yourself up." Computer sighed, but left Zim.
Zim, ignoring Computer, went down to his lab. "Wait! Computer I need you to do something!"
"What?" Computer asked warily.
Zim tapped his chin. "Contact Tak's ship."
"Why?"
"JUST DO IT!"
"Alright, alright."
After a couple of beeping noises Tak appeared on the screen. She looked surprised.
"What the heck to you want, Zim?" she narrowed her eyes. "Why are you even calling me?"
"Zim had something to ask you." Zim stated.
Tak waited.
"Zim was wondering…" he shuffled his feet nervously. "Zim was wondering…"
"SPIT IT OUT! Unlike you, I actually have some stuff to do for a mission. Because I, unlike you, am still an Invader."
Zim's eye twitched. "I was wondering if you can give me any information about sexual activity!" he blurted.
Silence.
Tak blinked. "…Why?"
"It is none of your business!" he crossed his arms over his chest. "I have already asked two of the human species and they are too stubborn to give any answers. You are my last hope." He added.
Tak stayed silent until Zim was finally fed up. "Well?"
She shook her head, her purple eyes wide. "no. I-I can't."
Zim's antenna went back. "You can't?" he echoed in disbelief.
Tak was shaking her head furiously. "No. No, no, no, no, no! And if it wasn't clear enough: NO!" And with that the screen went black.
Zim just stared at it. No? NO? For the love of Irk, why wouldn't anyone help him?
"WHY WON'T ANYONE TELL ZIM WHAT SEXUAL ACTIVITY IS?" he scream.
"Oh, that's what you're upset about?" Computer's voice came on.
"Yes!" Zim said, weary
"Well, sexual activity is when…." And thus began the bird and the bees lecture.
When it was over all Zim did was stand there.
And slowly his eye started to twitch.
End. (much better wasn't it?)