Disclaimer: Okay, you wanna know a secret? Are you sure? Are you ready? Shh, okay here it is. I don't own Twilight.
I'll be strong, but whatever you do, please don't get me rescued.-Rescued; Jack's Mannequin
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I saw Jacob's Rabbit coming down the street from my spot by the window. I ran out the door and stood in the driveway, where he pulled up, right in Charlie's spot. He stepped out of the car and walked directly into the house without a hello. I followed him in, looking around the street for any sign of Edward before closing the door behind me.
Jacob had already sat himself down in the only single chair in the room as I sat down on the couch.
"Okay, Jake I know that you're mad but please at least let me explain." I said once I had sat down.
"Fine." He said simply. His face looked so...hard. So angry. I felt a pang of guilt rush over me. He had sounded much happier on the phone, half and hour before, but now it seemed as if all of his happiness had gone to play a hard game of hide and seek. Unfortunately, I was never good at that game.
"So, you know that Alice came obviously. So I guess I'll just start from there. You know some of the stuff I'll tell you but I'll restate it anyway." He just nodded. "So, Alice er, saw me jump off the cliff and thought I was trying to commit suicide. Y'know because of...Edward. So she came to try to save me, or at least figure out what happened. Of course, I was alive so that was a relief I guess, but Rosalie didn't know that and told Edward about my, um, incident so he thought I was dead. So he went to Italy to kill himself basically..."
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I told Jacob the rest of the story leading up to now. When I told him about Jane attacking Edward he seemed to lighten up a bit, but that wasn't exactly the kind of happiness I was looking for. He kept quiet mostly except for a few grunts here and there. It made me feel uncomfortable him being so quiet. I wasn't used to Jake just letting me talk without any imput of any sort.
"So now we're just kind of...awkward I guess. I mean, I don't know what to do." I finished quietly.
"Leave his sorry ass, of course!" Jacob exclaimed finally. I let out a sigh.
"But I just can't do that, Jake." I replied softly, looking out the window. "I know that it's hard for you to understand and I know that you don't agree, but despite everything, I still love him. I can't just act like nothing ever happened and pretend I don't love him. I can't just live a lie."
"But you don't have to pretend." He said a bit quieter this time. "Just do it. After awhile, it'll be true. Haven't you heard? Time heals all wounds."
"I don't think that's true, Jacob." I said.
"You don't need to waste your life away with that blood sucker! What good has he done you? He's put you in physical and emotional danger, Bells."
"Can you honestly tell me that if you really truly loved someone, you would just leave them and let them and yourself hurt just because it wasn't the "best thing". Just because they had made a mistake?"
Jacob didn't reply. I hadn't really expected him to though.
"Everybody makes mistakes, Jacob." (A/N: Everybody has those days! Everybody knows what, what I'm talkin' 'bout, everybody gets that way!)
"Well everybody isn't a filthy leech that could kill you!"
"You act like you aren't dangerous either." I mumbled under my breath. Unfortunately, Jacob had heard me.
"I never said that, but I have control over myself, Bella! When have I ever hurt you? I have done nothing but protect you these last few months. I don't even know where you would be right now without me. Actually, I do. You would be dead, Bella. You would have died long ago and it wouldn't have been my fault, either! It would have been your beloved Edward's fault. That vampire in the woods would've killed you! And here you are, and you don't even care! You sit here and tell me that you love him and that he made a mistake. Bella, a mistake is calling at seven when you said you'd call at six. It's writing down a dentist appointment for the twelfth instead of the twentieth. A mistake is not leaving someone to practically die of depression and then just show up deciding you still love them. That is a crime, Bella! So don't give him community service instead of a life sentence!"
"I'm sorry." I whispered, my voice cracking. I had told myself that no matter what, I wasn't going to cry but by the time I felt the moisture in my eyes, it was too late. The tears were already rolling. "I never wanted for all of this crap to happen. I just can't help it, Jacob. I love him, and I don't want to, but I can't help it!"
"Oh, God, I'm sorry Bells." Jacob said, his shoulders relaxing as he came to sit down beside me, wrapping his arms around me. I buried my face into his white t-shirt, soaking it through. "I'm just trying to protect you. I don't want you to get hurt again. You were so terrible when he left, and I just don't want that to happen to you again."
"I know." I hiccuped.
We just stayed like that for awhile. Me, sobbing into him as he stroked my hair. Finally, I sat up and wiped my eyes.
"I'm trying, Jake, I really am. It's just so hard. I can't stop loving him. It's like trying to make the world stop spinning. You just can't."
"But you can always try."
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I was surprised to find Edward sitting on my bed when I went up to my room after Jacob left.
"What are you doing here?" I gasped.
"It really wasn't very responsible of you to have him here alone. He could have hurt you. You need to stop putting yourself in danger all the time." Edward said, not answering my question. Somehow his voice was casual but still tight in worry and aggrivation.
"It isn't very responsible of me to have you here, but what do you know, you're here." I said sarcastically. He didn't reply, just picked up my snow globe from my bedside table, shaking it around. The glittery snow swirled around the snow man whose nose had long since broken off. It swirled around with the snow before bouncing off the snow man's hat and landing on the bottom of the snow globe. "You didn't answer my question." I pointed out.
"Alice had a vision. Or more so, lack of one. You see, it worried her deeply when instead of seeing you, she saw nothing. You were suddenly just blank, gone."
"Oh." I said quietly.
"She's discovered that she can't see the wolves or the people they are around. Yet another reason you need to stay away from them."
"No." I said. "I'm not going to stay away from them, Edward. I am going to see Jake if I want to."
Edward sighed. "But you can't, Bella. It is dangerous and I will not put you in any more danger than necessary."
I was not in the mood for Edward's crap at the moment. I had already had to deal with Jake's and I really just wanted to lay down and rest.
"Then just leave me again! Go off and live your crappy life without me so you can save me. Go rescue me Edward! Be a stupid knight in shining armour! Well here's some news, Edward, I don't want to be saved. I want to just live my life how I choose, and how I want." I yelled, smacking the snow globe to the floor before sitting down hautilly. "I am tired of everyone always worrying about my safety and what's best for me. Last time I checked, I was me, which means that I should have some say in how I live my life!"
I turned over on my stomach, pulling the pillow over my head.
"Sorry." I heard Edward's muffled voice say. I sighed. After a couple of minutes I peaked out from under the pillow.
"I just want things to somewhat normal for once. Can't I just spend time with my best friend without having to worry about you getting angry? And can't I spend time with you without him doing the same?"
"I don't think that's possible, Bella." Edward said. His eyes were sad. I recalled what Jacob had said to me earlier.
"But you can always try."
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A/N: Okay, what did you think? I know that Jacob would have smelled Edward in Bella's room but oh well. When I read this it seemed to go by a lot quicker than when I wrote it but I don't know. And sorry (again) for taking so much time to update. I am currently tired of school. I've been filling out registration forms, doing a bajillion big projects, having some family problems, and school conferences. But on a lighter note, tomorrow my friends and I are going to the Twilight release party at Hot Topic at midnight! And my spring break started today because of conferences so I'll have more time to write!