Hello everyone, chapter 4 is here! I'm anticipating longer delays from now on as it will be more difficult to create a route into human society for Carlisle, such as, how does he start studying? Where does he meet the Volturi? –We don't really know much about Carlisle. I will think of something though! Also, my exams are starting and much of my free time is being taken up with revision. (Boo!) Anyway, please enjoy chapter 4:

April, 1669

Over the past couple of years since my change, my life itself had changed more than I ever could have imagined it would in such a small space of time. I thought back to my meeting with the nomads in the forest; the catalyst for the chain reaction which set my self-development in motion.

Less than two days after my epiphany –of sorts – I took a long hunting trip, feeding myself up more than I ever had done before. I was going to venture into the realms of human civilisation. Perhaps I should have waited longer, but my curiosity and chronic loneliness was in complete control of my conscious, and I therefore chose to start my "human rehabilitation" straight away.

Once nightfall had arrived, and only the dim stars lit my way, I decided to start my hunt for any town or village. As I walked, I examined the stars, picking out particularly bright ones. My mother told me before she died that stars were like little houses in heaven, where the angels went to live once their human selves had died. The second brightest one, I thought to myself, was Humphrey. I could almost picture his bronze hair and crooked smile in front of me. The brightest one was my Mother. A repulsing feeling of anxiety and shame washed over my body. I couldn't bear the thought of her looking down and watching her only son becoming a vampire.

I had been walking several hours when the familiarly enticing scent entered my proximity. I was getting close. I was getting close to humans. Dawn was nearly here, and my mind knew it would be foolish to go any further. My heart, as is always said, had other ideas. Before I knew it, I was standing before a thatched cottage. The burning sensation in my throat was unbearable. I ran off before I could let my body take over me. I was ever so slightly aware of crashing into a nearby tree in my poorly controlled haste to get away. I heard voices. As I ran, the scent died down and I began to feel safer. I realised then that their voices hurt me so much more than the thirst; the uneasy feeling was just as bad in my stomach as my throat, as I contemplated my own loneliness. It only served to make me more determined to reacquaint myself with humanity. As I caught the familiar sparkles on my naked skin as the dawn sun began to rise, I decided to stay at the edge of the forest, to necessarily hunt again, and to return closer to the cottage throughout the day, testing my self-control, and, if I returned to find its inhabitants gone for the day, I would perhaps venture in and take some clothes, and anything else I thought useful. I knew stealing was a sin, but I thought God might allow it as compensation for the alternative – accidentally killing and devouring human blood, especially as the clothes would help me achieve my first step on my road to a vaguely normal life.

I knew that without a fresh supply of blood, my body would be unmanageable when I neared human scents. As I was out of the denser areas of forest, hunting proved more difficult than usual, but I found myself a badger and a couple of large foxes. A few hours later, once my thirst had been satisfied, I retraced my earlier steps to the clearing where I had found the cottage in the early morning hours. The almost sensual scent of human blood began to fill my nostrils, although, the smell was not so strong as this morning, and as the cottage came into view, I stopped to listen carefully, my tuned Vampire ears picking up no sounds relevant to human presence, and I ascertained that no-one was home.

Not that the scent was much easier to handle. I struggled to remember what I was doing and why I was there, being far more preoccupied with the hot burning in my throat and the venom pooling in my mouth. Stop it, Carlisle, I thought. You're stronger than this.

I went to open the ornately patterned red front door and, to avoid smashing it down, imagined that I was pushing something as light as a feather. Even so, the padlock snapped and the door swung violently open. I sighed. At least it had stayed on its hinges. I looked around the room, the human scent becoming even more persistent.

If I could have someway forced out a tear, I would have. It was the perfect picture of family life; the perfect picture of the life I craved but would never have. There was a large hearth, the scent of the fresh ash from last night's log fire crept through that of human blood. Three wooden chairs sat next to the fireplace, round an oak table covered in pieces of material and thread. Perhaps they would create a dress for a baby girl. The large windows fed light on to the kitchen area where a large wood fire cooker was placed, the scent of freshly baked bread clinging to the particles in the air. It had always been my favourite smell. Now it was repulsive, but it still invoked painfully happy memories of my Mother kneading the dough at the high table in our kitchen at home.

I approached the staircase. To a human's eyes, it would have looked perfectly straight, but I could see it was slightly crooked. I climbed carefully, so as to not crash right through the steps. I was upstairs now, and I walked through a door immediately to my right. A large bed filled much of the room, which also housed a small mirror, and a chest of drawers. I slowly opened a draw to find it full of men's clothing.

Dear Lord, please forgive me for my theft, I thought. I began to dress myself, for my clothes had recently become almost completely destroyed. I did worry I might destroy this set; it was sin enough to steal another man's possessions for one's own gain, but to steal and then ruin another man's possessions was quite another. However, I was confident that my hunting had become much more controlled and clean recently, and therefore elected to continue dressing.

4 months later

I had spent the past few weeks practicing being a human, in the sense that my nights were spent learning to hunt with enough caution to keep my new clothes relatively decent, if not completely clean; I would spend my days practicing spending prolonged periods of time near humans, venturing close to the cottage and practicing my self control as I watched the young wife tend to her daughter whilst her husband went to work as a carpenter – I had seen him chopping bits of wood in the forest close to their home. At first, the thirst was again difficult to bear, but as the days, weeks and months went by, I noticed my self control gradually increase. As I stood here right before the cottage, the grey sky above protecting my sparkling identity, I contemplated the step I was about to take. If my plan went smoothly, I would kill two birds in one stone; I would find the direction to the south coast, (for I had thought on a whim to leave the country and avoid meeting anyone from my previous life) and actually talk to a human, breathe in the same air they breathed, for the very first time since my change. If the plan didn't go smoothly, I could find myself stood before a blood drained family on the floor and my dream of a human lifestyle in metaphorical shatters beside them.

My thirst was fully sated. I wasn't about to get any more prepared – not for another couple of months, anyway. I trod slowly towards the quaint front door and gently knocked. After what seemed like years, but was, in reality, only a few seconds, the handle began to turn and the door slowly opened. My nostrils flared and the scent heightened, I could almost feel my eyes turning black and my throat screaming. I managed to distract myself by analysing the appearance of the man in front of me, for it was the first time I had seen him from a distance of shorter than one hundred yards.

He was not quite as tall as me, perhaps around six foot. His black wiry hair was long and messy although his moustache and beard were shaped rather quaintly, reminding me momentarily of my Father, who rather amusingly believed that well groomed facial hair was a sign of masculine power. Perhaps he was right. I had seen this man wielding a large axe in the forest. His eyes were on me, and widened, perhaps at my slightly supernatural appearance, then narrowed as he saw my clothes and probably wondered how they looked so similar to the precise set he had misplaced four months before.

"Can I help you sir?" He asked, his tone of voice much softer than his outward appearance would have suggested. My brain went into overdrive as I tried to form a sentence and not kill him at the same time.

"...y...yes, sir. I...I...was, er, wondering in what direction I might travel if...if...I wanted to find the south coast, sir..."

"South coast? You're in Cumbria sir!"

Oops. This was going to be a somewhat long run.

He laughed, but was helpful nonetheless.

"Due south, young man. That way..." his finger pointing through the trees.

I smiled and thanked the man for his kindness, then set off right away. I would stop only to hunt, or if it were sunny. I would find the south coast, even if it took me months, and I would leave England. I could breathe underwater. Could I swim to France? Why not? I wasn't sure if adrenaline did still flow through my veins, but even if it didn't, I had that feeling now. My life was going to change for the better, I could feel it.

There we have it... I'm still not sure if I'm happy with it, but with so little known about Carlisle's life, and with my brain that is considerably less imaginative than Stephanie Meyer's, (who, incidentally, is the owner of Twilight, not me), it is difficult to imagine what he would have done between his change and his meeting with the Volturi. So please leave a quick review to tell me what you thought and how I could have made it better! Thanks!

PS. For those of you who do not live in the UK and are not familiar with the location of Cumbria, (my home county), it is in the far north west, bordering Scotland; a good 400 miles or more from the south coast and over 300 miles away from London. I will put a link to a map on my profile :D