"Get out of here!" Calliope shouted, pointing her wand at Caliborn's throat. She has already gotten across the room to him before anyone could notice hat she was missing in the first place. Roxy gasped, she never thought of Calliope as the kind of person to threaten others. Caliborn was not the same as she last saw him. The last time Calliope saw him, he still marginally resembled an angel. Now, he looked like a fully blooded demon. Calliope could never forget his horrid tone of voice, or his awful smug attitude.

"Long time. No see," Caliborn said as he waved to Calliope. On his face was a sort of smug smirk hat showed of the large, pearly white fangs that he wasn't hiding with magic.

"I will not tolerate demons in this household! You will leave or I will take drastic measures and force you to leave!"

"You're much less of a hideous bitch. I remember having an ugly sister. You must need all kind of magics to cover that disgusting body of yours."

"Get out of here, Caliborn or so help you..." Calliope threatened. Her wand was glowing brightly now. Caliborn did not have any weapon on hand, and she couldn't care less.

"Ok, whats all this?" Roxy asked.

"That is Caliborn, he is one of the most violent demons in hell. There's nothing good about him, he only desires conquest and destruction."

"That is Calliope. The pathetic angel from heaven."

"Wow, Cal. I knew you had shitty twists in mind but having an angel as a sister is probably one of the lamest you've come up with so far," Dirk said, taking a bite of Calliope's pancakes. Which by the way, were totally delish. Seriously the best pancakes he's ever had in his life.

"You haven't even gotten your wings yet," Caliborn laughed.

"I'm damn near about to rip yours off if you don't get the fuck out."

"Is this your first time swearing?"

Calliope raised her wand and pointed it at Caliborn. A white flash was sent from her wand and Caliborn screamed loudly, backing far away from Roxy's apartment and down the hall. His nearly black colored blood dripped from his eyes, ears, and nose as he ran as far away as he could from the scene. Calliope pointed her wand at the door way of Roxy's apartment, which glowed for a few seconds before returning to it's normal not-glowing state. Both Roxy and Dirk sat there with shocked expressions on their faces. This is was not what they expected of an angel. Well, Roxy didn't know to expect but Dirk's ideas of what angels were did not fall under the category of screaming and hurting others.

"There will be no more demons coming here," Calliope said cheerfully. She smiled at Roxy and Dirk who were still looking at her funny.

"Are angels supposed to... do that?" Roxy asked.

"Our magic is meant for protection, purification, and healing. Banishing demons falls under all three of those goals."

"Is he hurt?" Dirk asked. Not out of concern, but out of curiosity.

"No, he should be fine in a few minutes, but if he ever comes near here again, he'll get sent away with another purification shock like that. My magic isn't strong enough to harm him. If it were a stronger angel, he would be dead."

"Angels kill others?"

"Angels only kill to protect. Caliborn has all intentions to harm humanity, and we angels are ordered to protect humanity. By killing Caliborn, we would have protected humanity from any harm he would cause in the future. Our morals are different than human ones."

"If you could kill Caliborn, would you?"

"Caliborn is a young, but very strong demon. Killing him has been a task of the angel society for several hundred years. With a demon like him, there's an official order for all angels with the power to murder, to kill him on sight."

"Why can't you kill him?"

"He's a time warping demon, and I am a space warping angel. We work opposite of one another," Calliope explained. "Trust me in my saying that if I could kill him, I would have done so before he even got the chance to fall from heaven and create the suffering that he has done."

"Wow, Callie. I never expected angels to be so... racist."

"It's not a matter of race. It is a matter of Caliborn being the cause of suffering and my oath to do my best to eliminate it."

"Do you know why he's here, other than the fact that he's a huge prick because I already have figured that out. He's been following me around and mooching off me for months."

"Did you contract?"

"No, thats his weird thing. He's all, 'Dirk I want to play a game', and I'm like 'Go away, Caliborn' and he's like 'No I have stuff to do' and I'm like, 'I won't contract with you' and he's like, 'I don't need you to human Dirk you are only a...' blah blah blah. It sounds like he just wants to be the worst room mate ever."

"So he's been hanging around you with no contract, and no intention of harming you?" Calliope asked. That didn't sound like Caliborn, at all. Caliborn isn't the kind of person to do anything that doesn't involve destruction.

"He made my boyfriend break up with me, but he said that was a fun little accident and not part of his real plan," Dirk said. Caliborn was a confusing addition to his life style. He was a demon but didn't really seem to do anything but be an irritating jackass. He really didn't understand why there was a fucking hit put out on his head. He was just another douche bag at his worst.

"Do you know what his real plan is?" Calliope asked. She was hoping that if she could contact one of her higher ups, that it would help them immensely at getting rid of him once and for all.

"Well, I highly doubt it has anything to do with me. Apparently, he just wants to sleep in my bed and bug me all day like one of Roxy's cats."

"Wow Dirk, sounds like you got a boyfriend," Roxy teased him.

"Shut up, Roxy."

"Dirk and Caliborn sittin' in a tree, B-O-N-E-R-S," Roxy sang out, snorting and laughing loudly as Dirk sat across the table from her with a stoic expression on his face. You didn't need to take off his sunglasses to see he was angry with her.

"Roxy that's not even how the song goes."

"Well, that is what demons do on occasion," Calliope said.

"What, get boners?" Roxy asked.

"Well, yes. But they also have a greater tendency than angels to get... attached to humans. Or to say, demons have a strange thing where it's not a social taboo for them to fall in love with and mate with humans," Calliope said, as she opened pandora's box of Roxy mocking Dirk.

"Dirk are you fucking Caliboner?"

"Roxy stop it with the boners," Dirk told her.

"I'll stop the boners if you will," Roxy said.

"I must add here that listening to people talk about my brothers genitalia is uncomfortable for me, even in jest," Calliope said.

"Sorry Callie. I will stop it with the boner jokes," Roxy apologized. Dirk was somewhat glad that Calliope was being a good influence on Roxy.

"But Dirk, you didn't actually fuck that guy, did you?"

"Uh..."

"Dirk Strider, did you fuck a demon?"

"I was on the rebound and he was hot."

"That was in exceptional bad taste," Calliope told Dirk. Aside from the fact that she was asexual and couldn't think of anyone having sex recreationally, the idea of someone begin desperate enough to spend enough time around Caliborn to initiate physical relations was almost unheard of. Caliborn was horrid to even be in the same room with, but to actually have sex with him? What a repulsive idea! One would have to have bad taste and be awfully stupid to do him.

"I didn't know he was a demon. What do you want me to do? Give every hot man who offers me sex a demon test? Want me to get out my little vial o' holy water and start swishin' that thing around like a wand-"

"Dirk, you've pulling a Dave," Roxy interrupted him. Without a stopped put on it, a Strider's long moments of hypothetical exposition could go on for hours. She just didn't want to expose Calliope to that.

"Whatever," Dirk said.

"Has he ever hurt you?" Calliope asked. Dirk wasn't wearing much, and she couldn't see any sign of bruising on him.

"Not intentionally. He just bugs the ever loving shit out of me and I don't know how to make him leave. He always comes back."

"Pardon me for asking, but do you think that the only reason he hasn't left you is because you both... enjoy each other's company?"

"Let's not be ridiculous," Dirk said, sipping on his lemonade. No he wasn't going to answer that question. The answer should have been obvious, he totally hated that guy.

"He totally does," Roxy whispered in Calliope's ear.

"Now that the issue of Caliborn is settled, what are we going to do now?"

"I don't know, I think I got the message. No more drinkin'."

"Roxy, we've told you no drinking for years. We're going to need a little more commitment than that."

"To be be fair Dirk, it's kind of a messenger from heaven thing going on. I think I understand that I need to stop if someone from the afterlife is telling me to."

"The path to recovery is much longer than you think it is. I was told to monitor your progress for several months," Calliope informed them. She was in fact, scheduled to stay there for at least a year or until Roxy could be proven sober and all underlying issues to her sobriety were fixed.

"Months?"

"Yes, Roxy. Months. Alcoholism is a serious problem and it takes a long time to fix it," Dirk added in.

"Aw, damn."

"Damn indeed, now that is settled I believe that human customary is to attend a clinic meant for alcoholics."

"Callie, no," Roxy said. There was no way she was getting sent to some campy, howdy-doody alcoholics anonymous meeting. No fucking way was she spending a few hours cooped up in the rec center with a bunch of middle aged winos.

"Roxy, you're going," Dirk said.

"Oh come on, I promised I wouldn't drink, what more do I need to do?"

"To actually do what you say you will!" Dirk yelled at her. Calliope blinked and stared at him.

"Perhaps, we should start with a visit to the human medical doctor."

I mean to update this story on Saturdays, or at least I have been trying my best to do. I've been neglecting my fanfictions lately because I am in the middle of publishing a novel of mine which I'm sure you can guess is a huge time-killer.