Faced with what a deep devotedness of woe
I wept thy absence - o'er and o'er again
Thinking of thee, still thee, till thought grew pain,
And memory, like a drop that, night and day,
Falls cold and ceaseless, wore my heart away!
~Thomas Moore

The first week was awkward; they would both be lying if they said otherwise. Spencer hadn't lived with anyone since his mother and that was 12 years ago. On the first day, he was secretly relieved when JJ took her mother to the airport; it gave him time to calm his nerves. He loved JJ and Henry, but they were best friends and nothing more. After their first and only date seven years, four months, and eighteen days ago, he knew JJ could never feel for him the way he felt for her. And so he pushed those feelings aside, happy to be in JJ's life at all. He hoped they could become friends, he never dreamed they'd become best friends. When JJ came home he saw her tear brimmed eyes and he whispered to his godson to give his Momma a big hug and kiss, which he happily obliged.

Going through the motions, she made sure Spencer was all set up in the guest room. Afterwards she put Henry down for his afternoon nap. Enjoying the few precious moments of silence, the friends sat down together on the couch drinking a cup of tea. Having done this action hundreds of times before, this time it's different. Hesitant to break the silence, Spencer turns his body so that it is facing JJ and starts talking.

"JJ, you know you and Henry are the closest thing to family I have besides mom, and if you asked me to chop off my right arm because it would make you feel better, I would do it, no questions asked. I'll stay here as long as you need me to, but I—I am just trying to figure out how to act around you right now, I…"

JJ cuts him off.

"Spence, just be you. Be Henry's godfather and my best friend."

"But I'm not like everyone else JJ. Garcia is the better godparent in times like these I'm sure. And Hotch, he could really provide you the type of support you need!" the genius started to spout off.

"If you want to go Spence just go" she started to cry.

Realizing the point of his conversation got all messed up, he took a deep breath took one of her hands and tried again.

"Jay—that is not what I'm saying. I want to be here with you and Henry as long as you need me. I guess, I just don't want to get in your way, interrupt your routines, and mess everything up."

"You won't, I promise." Besides we don't have a routine anymore, that was taken away from us.

"Okay" he said.

As the nation's youngest criminal profiler, Spencer Reid was an expert at observing others. At first he wasn't sure if he should just stay out of JJ and Henry's way, not wanting to intrude on the tiny family. However, after two days he realized it was a family hanging on by a thread. JJ was there—but not really. Even he's young godson could sense something was off with his mother.

That week he had read ten books on grief, four specifically on childhood grief. At three and a half years old, Spencer knew that Henry wouldn't understand the finality of death, but he would be able to feel the loss of his father. It was imperative that he provide Henry with a safe outlet to express his sadness, confusion, and anger, if his mother wasn't yet up to it. For his entire life, Spencer never talked to Henry like a child, he spoke to him in ways that the young boy would understand.

The team hadn't been called away on a case in three days, so Hotch allowed Spencer to leave work early and spend Friday with Henry and JJ. When he got to their house, she was on the couch taking a nap, Henry in front of the tv watching Sesame Street.

When Henry saw his godfather, he said "Shhhh, Unca Spence, momma is sweeping." While he put his finger in front of his mouth.

Kneeling down next to the boy, he picked him up.

"I see that Henry, do you want to go outside and play soccer?" Spencer was one of the most uncoordinated people on the planet, yet he knew it was an activity Henry played with his mother and father.

The little boy's face lit up.

While playing outside, Henry kicked the ball to his godfather, when Spencer tripped over his own feet and fell to the ground.

"NOOOOO, UNCA SPENCE! YOU DOING IT WRONG. THAT'S NOT HOW DADDY DOES IT." The small child screamed with tears coming down his face.

Spencer ran over to Henry and started to comfort him.

"I'm sorry Henry—so, so sorry. I didn't mean to mess up. I'm not as good as daddy." Spencer meant that in every possible way, he wasn't Will and could never replace him.

"Show me how daddy kicks the ball."

Bouncing back in a second, Henry smiled and said "Sure!"

Spencer was amazed at how resilient Henry was. He gulped back his guilt and once again, kicked the ball to his godson.

There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief...and unspeakable love.

~Washington Irving

AN: Thank you all so much for your alerts and messages. I apologize for the delay between updates, but sometimes real life (work, husband, family, friends, and spring time weddings!) get in the way. Would you rather have shorter chapters, but more frequent updates, or vice versa? This will eventually be a romance between Spencer and JJ, but it will take a long time for that to happen and there will be quite a lot of heartache, sorrow, and angst before we get our second chance at happiness.