A/N—for those of you wondering, this story was actually inspired by a one-shot written where Tony walked in on Gibbs and his wife (not Shannon or any of the wife's in canon) while they were in their bedroom. So the premise might sound familiar to those who read that one-shot. I don't remember the author's name (I think was TaylorGibbsGirl—but can't find her on fanfic, so not sure if I got the name wrong or she no longer posts on fanfic)..I know she took the story down, due to some nasty reviews…I told her I had an idea to expand on her one-shot and she was generous enough to allow me to take her idea and run with it. I didn't use her OC and didn't want to put Tony in the bedroom, but think doing it this way works. I just wanted you all aware that my story sprouted from another writer's initial idea. Thanks to that author and I apologize if I got your writer's name incorrect.

ONWARD TO THE STORY

/

Chapter 4

But one week saw them no closer to finding Tony than the day his resignation letter had arrived. Neither had the ensuing three months after that. They had expanded their search to all fifty states. But there were no records of Tony buying or renting a car, opening any bank accounts, or traveling by plane, train or bus. The money from his last NCIS paycheck and the cash-out of his leave time still sat in his checking account, untouched.

It was like Anthony DiNozzo had disappeared from existence.

Gibbs had gone as far as asking Fornell for the FBI's help. When they hadn't garnered any leads, he had tapped into all his law enforcement, military and black ops contacts. And still came up empty. Gibbs had even been desperate enough to have them check all the aliases Tony had used during his various undercover operations, on the off chance he might use one of them. All to no avail.

Gibbs had tried to track down Senior to see if maybe Tony was with him. But the man had yet to return any of the numerous messages that both Gibbs and Vance had left him. He wondered if maybe he should have Abby or Ziva try, see if the man would respond to them.

Vance had actually given them two weeks instead of the promised one week, but eventually, the team had to return to their main job. But they all continued to work on finding Tony on their down time. Abby had flagged Tony's DNA, fingerprint and dental records, while Tim flagged his name and social security number. If any one of these were entered into a database, it would alert their team. Nothing that would raise flags on the other end and cause Tony problems, but just to alert Gibbs and the team and give them a direction to take.

Gibbs felt like he had aged years in the last few months. Every time a lead came to a dead end, it was like a knife to his heart. He wasn't sleeping or eating for wondering and worrying about Tony. He'd lost weight, and it showed. When Abby's birthday, and then Ducky's, had passed with no word from Tony, Gibbs' hopes plummeted more.

The whole team had suffered as Tony's absence continued. At first, Abby was almost constantly on the verge of tears, then she got angry. Angry at Gibbs for saying what he had, angry at McGee for not finding Tony. Then finally, angry at Tony for making everyone worry so much. Now she was just morose. She had initially set up a shrine in her lab, much like she had when Gibbs had 'retired' to Mexico.

She got into a shouting match with Ziva one day when the former Mossad officer had made a remark about being 'stared at' by all the photos of DiNozzo hanging on the wall. Abby had yelled that she had no feelings. Ziva had yelled back that it was pointless to keep looking for someone who didn't really want to be found. Then she'd made the mistake of saying they were all probably better off if they never found Tony, because then at least they wouldn't have to put up with his juvenile antics any longer.

Abby had chased her out of the lab, throwing things at her until Ziva was able to get out the door.

Finally, one day during a fit of anger at DiNozzo, Abby had snatched every photo off the wall and proceeded to tear them into small pieces. She'd then placed them in a container and lit them on fire. Once all she had was ashes, she then got upset about 'cremating Tony'. When Vance came into the lab a few minutes later, she was sitting on the floor, clutching the container of ashes wailing something about voodoo curses or some such.

Vance sent her home for the day and seriously debated forcing the entire team to visit a psychologist! He began to wonder if he should have tried to convince DiNozzo to stay by offering to get rid of the rest of the team as an incentive!

And Tim and Ziva grew more and more surly with each other and everyone else around them as frustration mounted. McGee had reverted back to the stuttering and stammering agent who had been so evident during his early days with the team every time Gibbs walked into the room and McGee hadn't found that one piece of information that revealed DiNozzo's location.

Things weren't any better in autopsy. Oh, neither Ducky nor Palmer was collapsing in fits of hysterics, but the normally cheerful pair wasn't finding much to be cheerful about lately. Both

Ducky and Palmer refused to talk to Gibbs outside of discussing cases or getting updates on the search for Tony. Not that Palmer spoke much to Gibbs anyway, but he had made it known, in his own inimitable way, that he thought Gibbs had stepped over the line.

Gibbs…Gibbs just withdrew. Any time not spent on a case or actively searching for Tony, he holed up in his basement with a bottle of bourbon…or three. He didn't think he had felt anywhere near this bad since his girls had died. He couldn't even muster up any desire to work on his latest carpentry project.

At one point, Ziva had suggested to Gibbs that possibly there wasn't anything to find because Tony had done something…drastic. Gibbs had to leave the room to keep from lashing out at the woman. He had to believe that Tony wouldn't do that. He had to. The guilt was already weighing on him, but if he'd driven Tony to that...

Luckily, the day after she'd said that, Tim found a small piece of information that seemed to take that notion off the table. Talking to a contact at Bethesda, Tim found out that Tony had requested a complete copy of his medical records. At first, Tim had been excited, thinking that if Tony had requested it be sent somewhere, it would give them a lead where to look. Unfortunately, further checking found that Tony had his own contacts at Bethesda, and was able to have them copy the records the same day and had picked them up himself. This happened two days before he left on his "vacation."

But all agreed that he probably wouldn't have bothered getting the copies if he had intended to commit suicide.

The next day was Tony's birthday. The first one he hadn't been with Gibbs to celebrate in ten years. Gibbs stared across the bullpen at what had been Tony's desk. Oh, it was used now by the rotating temporary team members that had come and gone since Tony left. They couldn't seem to keep anyone at that desk. Gibbs knew he was more demanding of the temp team members. He was so used to DiNozzo knowing what he wanted before he said it, that he got pissed when he had to explain himself.

It just wasn't the same. He'd even overheard one of them snarling at Ziva just before he left, that he could totally understand why DiNozzo had thrown in the towel—an idiom that had gone completely over the Israeli head, of course. She questioned why anyone would throw a towel as that would be…how had she put it? Oh yeah… "ineffectual in causing harm to anyone". Gibbs hadn't been surprised when the transfer request paperwork had been on his desk the next morning.

So, now the fourth SFA in as many months was sitting at that desk, but to Gibbs, it would always be "Tony's desk." He closed his eyes to block out the sight. Maybe it was time to retire for good. Turn his attention full time to trying to find Tony.

/

At the same time, on the other side of the country, the man in question was driving on a winding two-lane road in Oregon. He'd spent the last couple of months driving the country, stopping to explore the nation's national parks and monuments. He'd never realized just how vast and beautiful the country was. Oh, he knew it was big, but during his journey, he saw awe-inspiring sights and visited places he'd only read about in history books or seen on TV documentaries. Throughout his travels with NCIS, he never usually had time to sight-see at any of the places that he'd gone, as he was usually too busy working a case.

He'd come to enjoy traveling alone, not needing to worry about adhering to a schedule or having to take into consideration what anyone else thought. Being able to come and go as he pleased, when he pleased. Stopping to see anything that drew his interest or attention. And finding that he enjoyed just…being.

Right now, he was enjoying the smell of the huge pine trees towing over him on either side of the road through the open windows of the car. The car he'd purchased under the name of his present alias.

He was currently using the name Mark Stoddard. One of three names he'd used since leaving D.C. Truly, he didn't believe that anyone, be it NCIS or his 'friends', would be searching for him. Unless Gibbs or Vance decided to hunt him down for doing an end-run around the two of them, thwarting their chance of getting to fire him. But he thought it best to be prudent.

People, and by that he meant his former colleagues, would be amazed at how many false identities Tony had established over the years. Between trying to hide his money from Senior, the possibility of needing to hide from criminals he took down, and plain old paranoia, Tony had made sure he could disappear if the need arose.

He sighed heavily. Over the last ten years, he'd hoped he would never need to use any of them. He thought he'd found friends who would stand by him through anything. But it wasn't to be.

Good thing he hadn't let any of his identities lapse. He had driver's licenses from a dozen different states, and money secured in banks across the country in those and other names.

He'd made some good investments through the years and had made a lot of money in the stock market. Altogether, he had well over three million dollars, all squirreled away where Senior would never know about it or be able to get his hands on it.

He had credit cards in other names, as well, all kept active by purchases he made over the internet. Small purchases that he could pay off easily every month, but enough to keep the cards active.

He saw a city-limit sign up ahead. His eyes flicked to his gas gauge. "Better fuel up the car," he thought to himself, then smiled as his stomach growled. "And me, as well."

A couple of miles further up, he saw a filling station and pulled in. Taking a few bills out of his wallet, he walked inside to get the pumps started. He was greeted with a smile by an older black man.

"Hi," the man said. "Welcome to Eureka."

Tony returned the smile. "Thanks. I need to fill up on pump one." He laid several bills on the counter.

"Sure thing." The man pressed a couple of buttons. "It's all set to go for you."

Tony filled up the tank and went back inside. He settled with the man, then asked, "Is there someplace close by I can get a bite to eat?"

The man nodded. "Sure. Just continue on this road another two miles and you'll be on the main street through town. There's Cosmic Pizza, if you're in that mood. Or Café Diem for everything else. I can recommend the café. Vince is a genius and can make pretty much anything you'd like." He held out a hand. "I'm Henry, by the way."

Tony remembered the sign outside as he shook the man's hand. "Henry as in Henry's garage? Nice to meet you. Mark Stoddard. I appreciate the help. My stomach's about as empty as my gas tank was." Tony got back in his car and continued on his way. Soon, he was driving through the town. He spotted an empty parking spot and pulled in. Getting out of the car, he saw the two restaurants Henry had mentioned. He'd had pizza last night at the hotel he'd stayed in, so he opted for Café Diem and headed that way.

He walked in and sat down at a booth. Before long, a man came over. "Hello, there. Can I get you something to drink?"

"Iced tea, please," Tony replied. While he was waiting, he perused the menu. The man came back with his drink and took Tony's order. Once alone, Tony took the opportunity to survey his surroundings. The cafe was bright and sunny. The other patrons were laughing and seemed to be enjoying their meals.

Before long, the man came out with Tony's food order. Setting down the plate, he told Tony, "Here you go. If you need anything else, just let me know. My name is Vince."

"Will do. Thanks."

Tony dug into his food. Ummm, Henry at the garage had been right. Vince was a genius. This was delicious. He continued to leisurely enjoy the meal.

In the meantime, others were coming into the restaurant. Tony took notice when he saw a man in a sheriff's uniform. The man and his companion sat down at the table next to Tony. Vince hurried over to the table. "Sheriff Carter, Dr Blake. Coffee?" he asked the couple, holding up a coffee pot. When both nodded, he poured the coffee and took their orders. The sheriff looked around and noticed Tony sitting there. Tony made eye contact. He wasn't worried about attracting the attention of the lawman. The sheriff was typical of most law enforcement in small towns. Someone new arrives, you size them up. He broke eye contact and returned to his meal, noticing out of the corner of his eye that the sheriff's attention returned to his attractive companion.

When Tony finished his meal, Vince came to clear away his dishes. He asked Tony if he wanted dessert. "We have fresh made chocolate pie," Vince said with a smile.

Tony shook his head. "Not right now. But I might come back for some later. Thought I'd walk around town for a bit, stretch my legs. I've been on the road since early this morning." He laid money on the table to cover his bill and a generous tip.

Vince picked up the money, but didn't leave the table. "Where are you coming from, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Oh, here and there," Tony said vaguely. "I'm kinda drifting right now. I've actually been touring the country for a couple of months. Visiting some of our national landmarks and parks. It's been a blast."

Even though he was flashing a smile, Vince could detect a hint of sadness in this man's eyes. "It must get lonely after a while," he remarked.

Tony tilted his head. "I'm used to my own company. I've been working so much since college, I never really got to see much of the country. So I decided to do it now, while I'm still young enough to enjoy it." He stood up, preparing to leave. "Thank you for a delicious meal."

"You're welcome," Vince said. "I'll save you a piece of that pie, so you be sure to come back."

"I will," Tony assured him. He walked out and spent the next two hours walking the town. He enjoyed wandering in and out of all the shops. It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm. But Tony was weary. He'd been on the road constantly, and although he had enjoyed this 'vacation', he was ready to find a place to start his life over. But this time, he'd keep from making the same mistakes. He'd never again let anyone close enough to hurt him. The past months since that night at Gibbs' house had been fully of misery. He couldn't go through that again.

But he knew himself well enough to know that he liked being around people. Maybe he could find a job that he could be around people without getting too close. For sure, he would never go back to law enforcement. You have to trust and rely on others to have your back, and Tony didn't think he had it in him to trust anyone that much, ever again.

He sighed heavily. Tomorrow was his birthday. That was the one thing that Mark Stoddard had in common with Tony DiNozzo; a shared birthdate. But for the first time in a decade, there would be no cowboy steak shared with his boss. The thought hurt, even though Tony was sure that he sometimes hated the man. He still vividly remembered that night, as much as he tried to force it away. He shook his head and turned his thoughts back to the present.

He glanced at his watch and was surprised at the time. It was getting late and he should be getting on the road. But the thought of the promised chocolate pie ran through his mind. He figured he could take the time for a piece of pie and another glass of tea. That decided, he headed back toward Cafe Diem.

Vince looked up and smiled as Tony came in. He'd barely let Tony sit down before putting a huge piece of pie in front of him. "Here you go. Can I get you something to drink with that?"

"Another iced tea would be great." It was soon set down in front of him. For the next half-hour or so, between bites of pie and Vince helping other customers, Tony told Vince about his recent travels.

"So where do you head from here?" Vince finally asked.

"Not sure. I'm getting kind of tired of traveling. Maybe it's time to settle down someplace for a while."

"Well, you know, Eureka is a great little town to start over in. Think about it."

Tony gave a small smile. He admitted to himself that this was the first place, since leaving D.C., where he felt some measure of peace. He'd lived in cities all his life. Maybe life from a different perspective was in order. "Hey, Vince, is there anywhere close to get a room for the night?" Tony decided he was too tired to drive any further today. Soon, armed with directions from Vince and the certainty of a room, Tony was heading to a small bed and breakfast just a few miles away.

Once settled into a room, Tony took a shower and got ready for bed. And for the first time in a long time, he slept deeply and dreamlessly.

/