Russell walks sullenly into the office. He sits himself down in the faded light of the Principal's office. Flaky sits with her hands tapping the desk. She looked very worried. As always. After a few seconds of deafening silence, she speaks up. "Russell, it has come to my attention, that you have been having sex with one of your students." Beads of sweat slowly slide down Russell's forehead. "It's Illegal. I'm sorry, but I have to fire you." Russell stood up. "Russell sit down!" She yells in hushed tone. He sits back down. "Now, these are the jobs you can't participate in." she squeaks timidly, handing him a considerably long list. He scans through the list, and reads it aloud.

"Police officer, Babysitter, therapist, school worker...This is most of the high paying jobs out there!" He yells. She shrinks in her chair and hands him a card.

"Well, therapy can help alot. Dr. Luis treats me, Nutty, and Flippy now." she squeaks. "Or Lumpy, he's alot cheaper." He glares at her.

"I don't need any god damn therapy! I want satisfaction!" He reaches in the fish tank and grabs some stones from the bottom. Flaky runs towards the door, but hesitates as Russell pounces. Russell pulls her to the ground, and shoves the fistful of rocks into her throat. He binds her hands together with Duct tape, and climbs out the window with her.

Sitting in Russell's basement, Flaky wakes up, still bound and gagged. She sat up and glanced around. She was still in her clothing, but she could feel welts and bruises everywhere on her body. She was in a pitch-black room. She layed her head down, but jumped up again. She had placed her head on a pile of cold, wet, sticky stones. She slumped over onto the floor, and felt around with her head. Wooden planks and sparse patches of mold and food stains were all she had felt before the light flashed on abruptly. Her eyes were adjusting to the light, but she knew she was surrounded by memorabilia of pirates. As Russell thundered down the stairs, his shadow was as threatening as Satan's would have been. He was still fully clothed, but he seemed eager for 'bad touching'. He pulled a belt from behind his back, and whipped her. She jumped back in pain. she curled into a ball and began to cry. After a few minuutes of that, Russell dropped the belt. Russell laughed, "I'm done with torture, but I'm not done making you scream!" he laughed sinisterly.

She scurries and presses her back against the wall, and gasps, "I'm a human being, with thoughts, feelings and rights! You aren't getting in my pants!"

"Oh, on the contrary. I can get pleasure from somewhere other than the pants." he smirks. He grabs Flaky's hair and smashes her face against his crotch. "Suck it. NOW!" He yells.

Meanwhile, outside the window, Disco and Flippy are coaching a baseball game. Flippy watches Cuddles hit the ball, and jumps up and down yelling at the top of his lungs, "Cuddles! Run like a Fox is behind you!" The catcher stands up and takes off their mask. Flippy shrugs, "Sorry Ms. Brer..." He turns his head back to Cuddles and sees Cuddles walking off the field. Flippy meets him on the bench. Flippy puts his hand on his back.

"Coach, Cro got me out, Sir." Cuddles spoke quietly.

"That's oka..." Flippy is interrupted when Disco Bear yells something. Flippy turns around, and sees Disco, Mime, and Toothy jumping up and down, pointing at the roof of Russell's Pirate Ship. Toothy screams, "What the hell is Russell doing up there!" Flippy turns to see Russell, pointing down at him.

"Flippy! Your bitch is the best sex ever! How do you keep your neighbors in the dark with that screamer! I think she should shut up, sometime!" he yells. Flippy examines the situation, Russell is obviously not drunk, he had sex with his girlfriends, and he's insulting her. He's probably gone insane. Russell yells down at Flippy again. "You want some real porn!?" He pulls up Flaky, by the hair on her head. She is bound and gagged, and crying mercilessly. Flippy and Cuddles stare at her, then at Russell, who is staring greedily at Flaky. He picks her up and sodomises her. Toothy falls over, Disco bear stands stupified, and Flippy and Cuddles are shocked. Flaky cries in agony as blood trickles down her back and onto the deck of the ship. Flippy and Cuddles run up to the ladder to the deranged pirate. Russell continues fucking her, until he hears Flippy and Cuddles on the roof.

"Russell, stop this. I have a knife." Flippy whispers calmly.

"Oh, here for your girlfriend? Well..." He smirks. He pulls her head into his mouth, and ensues in eating her. He lifts his face up, and smiles. He had eaten most of the head above her upper lip. Russell then flips her over and begins to have sticks his penis in her throat. He then drops her corpse on the ground. Flippy twitches and his eyes turn sickly green.

"Thats my Bitch your fucked!" He yells. He pounces onto Russell, and jams the knife into his shoulder. Russell chuckles.

"I lost my legs and hand. That doesn't hurt!" he gloats. They turn their heads when The boat begins to creak. Flaky's blood had lubricated the space inbetween the tree and the house, and the house was sliding down the trunk. Cuddles, Flippy, and Russell went flying into the air as the floor disappeared from under their feet. Cuddles was impaled on a branch, Flippy was split in half when he landed on a fridge, and Russell was crushed by the mast.

Russell wakes up in a hospital bed, surrounded by white walls. He sits up and sees Cuddles, Flippy, and Flaky in similar beds. He sits up and looks around for a pen and paper. He writes a note and lays it on Flaky's chest.

She wakes up, and sees Russell silently leave. She sits up, and sees a note fall on her lap. She reads it aloud,

Well, Flaky I'm taking your advice and taking a Pedophile Anonymus. I'm also taking pills to control my sexual aggression. I hope I can make it up to you three sometime.

-Russell

Flaky smiles with a tears in her eye. She hopes that one day, they'll laugh at this incident.

Meanwhile Russell looks in the mirror at the Community Center. He thinks it over. He looks at the pills and then at his nametag for the Sex-ed group. He walks into a stall, and dumps both into the toilet. He walks out and heads for a Job offer booth. He smiles at Lumpy and hands him his papers. "I'd like to join the Cub scout troop as a ScoutMaster." Lumpy squints at the papers. In big red letters, scribbled right across the paper; PAEDOPHILIC AND SADISTIC TENDENCIES. Lumpy stamps the page and smiles.

"You're hired!"

Well that was dumb. But Its sortof a crack-fic.

And There really are Pedophilic teachers, Scoutmasters, and priests. Russell is not going to be a priest for obvious reasons.

Remember, if you're going to comment on 'How could you treat Flaky that way!'.

Well, the same way Mondo Media does. She's another HTF, not a priveledged Higher figure.

Ok review, and good night.

Or Russell will sodomise your pets.