Author's Note: It's really annoying during the exam season because after I've finished revising, I have a load of free time so I might as well not be on a temporary hiatus. Oh well, I don't think you guys are complaining if you get chapters and stories are you? But this one has humour in it- you deserve it after all of the angsty-ness!

Warnings: Humour, swearing, brief mentions of SasuSaku and implied InoSaku

Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Naruto at all. It sucks :/

Do Not Disturb

"An hour Lunch people!"

The voice of Sennin Jiraiya came through a megaphone and the star of the latest film, Uchiha Sasuke, just sighed, running his hand through his spiked up hair. They had been filming all day for a new horror movie coming out and he was tired. The lead actress, a woman named Haruno Sakura, walked up to him.

"So, Sasuke-kun- do you want to go on a date sometime?" she asked shyly. Despite the fact she was meant to be Sasuke's love interest in the film, he felt nothing towards her but annoyance and maybe a slight bit of friendship.

"You know I'm not into women, Sakura- why do you keep asking?" he questioned, looking to her. She stuttered slightly and glanced around before leaning in.

"I'm trying to make Ino jealous," she whispered. Sasuke's eyes widened. So he was a tool she was using. He just sighed and ran a hand down his face before spotting sight of Ino coming towards him. Seeing as he wasn't entirely heartless, he decided to help the girl out.

"Sure Sakura, I'll go on a date with you." He replied, making the other woman freeze on the spot and glance towards the two of them before huffing and turning away. Sakura smirked at Sasuke.

"Thanks for helping me out. I'll just pretend you stood me up tonight," she told the raven who just nodded before turning around and coming face to face with his P.A, Uzumaki Naruto.

"AH!" he yelled slightly, seeing the sudden appearance of tan skin, blond hair and blue eyes. There was suddenly a dazzling smile taking over the features of his P.A slash best friend.

"So, you're going on a date with Sakura, huh?" he asked, walking with Sasuke to the star's trailer. Sasuke perked up- this was the perfect opportunity to make his secret crush jealous!

"Yup. I'm picking her up tonight at seven," he replied, glancing to his right to take note of his friend's reaction. There was something forced about the action.

"Oh, that's great. I'm sure your fans will be devastated though. Sakura might even get some hate posts on her Twitter," he joked slightly, not feeling the laugh that came from his throat.

"Mhm," was Sasuke's reply. Naruto was nervous and turned to look at his best friend with desperate eyes.

"Were you lying when you told me you were gay? Or is Haruno a special case?" he asked, wanting to know what had happened to his friend's awkward confession during secondary school. Sasuke saw this as a vulnerable opening.

"Sakura-chan is a special case," he replied, putting a dreamy look in his eye. Sasuke saw Naruto falter a few steps at the pet name.

"I- I need to go," he muttered, rushing off in the opposite direction, trying to hide his devastated face. He wasn't watching where he was going and somehow ended up on set in the middle of the forest scene. Naruto was panting harshly at the sprint but wiped at his eyes, feeling the tears that had gathered there.

"Stupid Sasuke," he muttered, bending over and trying to catch his breath when he heard footsteps behind him. He stopped panting and wiped at his eyes once more before turning where he had heard the sound.

"Hello?" he asked, looking into the fake foliage. A chuckle sounded behind him and the blond jumped on the spot, turning around to come face to face with their ex-manager and Jiraiya's brother, Orochimaru.

"What's a little P.A doing out here all by their lonesome?" he asked, stepping closer whilst Naruto stepped back.

"I was getting away," he muttered, not at all comfortable with the situation he was in. A perverse leer was sent in his direction by the man and Naruto shuddered.

"Why would you be trying to get away? And why would you be calling our precious Sasuke-kun stupid?" he asked, his leer morphing into a grin of sadistic glee when he saw the hurt cross the tan face. A pale hand outstretched and grabbed the blond's cheeks, stroking along the whisker scars he had obtained as a result of bullying in secondary school. Naruto pulled back, not enjoying the attention one bit and turned on his heel.

"I need to get going," he stated, gaining no more than ten metres distance when he felt a hand cover his mouth and an arm snake around his waist. Next came the lips and tongue on his neck. Cerulean blue eyes widened at the feeling and he tried to push himself away whilst the adult just started to nip and suck. He eventually managed to push himself away, gasping for air as he did so.

"You sick freak!" he squeaked and just dashed away through the plastic leaves until he found an opening, crashing into someone as he did so. He looked up to be met with kind brown eyes and red triangle tattoos. His second best friend and side character in the movie, Inuzuka Kiba. He took in the blond's appearance and shaky breaths before a frown overtook his features.

"What's wrong Foxy?" he asked, putting a hand on the blond's shoulder. His eyes then travelled to the mark on his friend's neck.

"Whoa dude, did you get necked?" he asked the blond with an impressed voice. A shaky tan hand reached for his neck where the mark was.

"I-is there a mark there?" he asked. Kiba nodded with a grin.

"Who was i-" his question was interrupted when the blond ran over to the nearest bin and threw up. Tears were forming at the thought before he turned to Kiba.

"Where's Ino?" he asked hurriedly. Ino was the make-up artist and she always managed to apply realistic make-up; it was one of the many reasons why Konoha Film Agency was so famous. Naruto needed to cover up the mark.

"She's in Sakura's dressing room but I don't think you should-" he was interrupted once again as Naruto blindly ran to the pinkette's dressing room. He burst in without thinking.

"Ino-chan! I need you to…" his sentence trailed off when he saw the two women locked in a passionate embrace, hands trailing and going towards… As quick as he had burst in, he slammed the door shut behind him. He was shaking.

'What's wrong with me?' he shuddered, walking off in a daze.

"Naruto?" said blond just froze on the spot and tensed up on hearing the voice. The blond span on the spot, slapping his hand onto his own neck to hide the mark that he had yet to cover up.

"Sasuke! What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to ignore some of the breathy moans that were coming from the other side of the door. Sasuke realised this and his raven eyebrow shot into the skies before he placed a sign on the door marked 'Do Not Disturb' and waved his hand forward as if to say 'Shall we walk?' Naruto just blushed and rubbed his hand on his neck over the mark, feeling slightly ill. The two walked away from the room and ended up on the main set- a decrepit old shack. It was open, facing a lot of cameras.

"Are you okay Naruto?" Sasuke asked, eyeing the blond and the hand on his neck.

"Have you hurt your neck?" the raven enquired, reaching to touch the neck. He was shocked when Naruto's other hand slapped his away. He looked into the usually cheerful blue to see fear underlying them.

"I need to find Hinata," he whispered, walking away, still covering his neck. Hinata was Ino's make-up assistant so she was obviously the second choice to go for. Sasuke just remained where Naruto had left him. There was the sound of footsteps behind him and Sasuke span on the spot to come face to face with Orochimaru.

"What's wrong with him?" the older man asked. Sasuke shrugged.

"He called you stupid earlier by the way," the man added. Sasuke looked towards him with a confused look.

"Oh? Why'd he do that?" he asked. Orochimaru chuckled and crossed his arms across his chest.

"He was also rather upset. I think he was crying," Orochimaru added, not even bothering to answer Sasuke's question. Onyx eyes widened as he looked to where the blond had disappeared. There was a soft hiss from behind him.

"If you like him, you'd better snatch him up before somebody else steals his innocence," the black haired man remarked before seeming to dissolve into the shadows. Sasuke frowned at the last remark but shrugged it off as he went to find Hinata- that's where he'd find the blond. If he had been crying, then he'd obviously taken the fake-date idea too far. He found the make-up artist as she was just saying goodbye to the blond who no longer had his hand over his neck. It looked normal to Sasuke so he ignored it. When Naruto turned around, he jumped at seeing Sasuke there.

"Teme! Don't do that!" Naruto gasped, placing a hand over his heart.

"Dobe, apparently you were upset earlier. What was wrong?" Sasuke asked. Naruto froze on the spot, not knowing how to answer the raven. He stuttered a few times before Kiba caught him.

"Hey Foxy- why'd you cover up the hickey?" he yelled. Nearly everyone within a ten foot radius turned to the blond. Sasuke's eyes snapped to Naruto's neck where he could now see the concealer. He felt his mood sour.

"Who did that?" Sasuke asked, jealousy radiating off of him. Naruto gulped, feeling the eyes of everyone upon his person.

"I- I gotta go!" he gasped before sprinting away through a gap in the crowd that had gathered. There were quick footsteps behind him and he just pressed on further before he tipped over some camera wires. He softened the landing by rolling slightly and ended up in the abandoned old shack again. He was breathing heavily as he landed flat on his back, looking up.

'Why can't I just accept that he likes Sakura- but she was with Ino. Does she know?

Sasuke just looked to where the blond had vanished and sighed.

"We're back for filming!" Jiraiya yelled. Sasuke looked towards the set they were going to use- the old cabin. Naruto walked out, looking frustratedly towards the raven but ignored him when he asked what was wrong.

"Why do you bother?" he hissed. Sasuke's eyes widened at the scathing remark before he was called on set, leaving Naruto to dump himself unceremoniously onto his personal chair.

"Stupid teme," he muttered under his breath as he watched the actors and actresses assemble. Sakura and Sasuke were standing next to each other and Naruto glared at them both. They didn't even suit each other! He pouted and looked to see Ino also glaring- but she was glaring at Sasuke. It was then that Naruto decided to ask her something.

"Hey, Ino-chan- I accidentally walked in on you and Sakura earlier. Wasn't she going on a date with Sasuke?" he asked, not wanting to spoil the girl's mood. Ino blanched and looked to her favourite P.A before laughing.

"Oh my god Naruto- she only asked him to make me jealous and he agreed to play along!" she told the blond, who's jaw had dropped.

"Y-you're kidding, right?" he asked, hoping that she actually was- that meant that he still had a chance! Ino nodded.

"Did Sasuke not tell you?" she asked, facing the scene where the two were now about to kiss. A growl ripped through her throat and Naruto couldn't help but agree.

"This isn't happening," he decided. Ino watched in frustration as the stars' lips were about to touch. The scene was interrupted, however, when a flash of blond replaced pink, tan lips crashing onto those of the raven's and forcing him back with how hard he kissed him. Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise and there were several cat calls and whistles before Jiraiya snapped at everyone to shut up. Sakura had been shoved back by a tan hand, her lips still puckered- and the blond was pressing his lips to Sasuke's, his body practically melding with the other's.

"Teme," Naruto muttered against the raven's lips. Sasuke was stood there, stunned, before smirking. He wrapped his arms around the blond's waist lifting him up with the force that he kissed him.

"Dobe," was the reply as he grabbed the tan hand and dragged him to his trailer. The blond stood on the higher step, looking down to the raven.

"I love you," was the confession that slipped from his lips. Sasuke chuckled.

"I love you too- now get your ass in this trailer!" he ordered with a grin. Naruto chuckled and squeaked when he felt a hand on his rear before entering the trailer. Sasuke followed and checked around the entrance before shutting the trailer door.

The 'Do Not Disturb' sign swung as the trailer did.

Quite rushed, I know- but at least there's no death in this one, eh? I hope you guys deem it worthy of a review- in all honesty, I have no idea why Orochimaru stepped in- I guess he could've been helping in his own freaky way- I had more sinister things planned but then I thought 'nah- that's enough angst already'. Anyways, I'll try and update soon!

xCGx