Chapter Four.
A/N: Hehe… I like Danaa's continuation. Much fun. And on a sadder note, I'm almost out of Peanut Butter M&Ms… I don't smoke anymore, so these are my addiction. And I'm almost out…. Very sad.
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It was only a dream. He knew this, as it was the only logical outcome of the situation. His mother – who he had seen die – stood, trembling, just beyond him. Tears streamed down her face. Jim Kirk stood next to him, bloodied and beaten. His left eye was nearly swollen shut, but he had the same determined look on his young face that Spock had come to respect.
"A simple exchange," a voice said from the shadows and Spock saw his mother attempt to pull away, but her captor held her firmly. "Really, Kirk, I'm even letting you live."
"I won't give him up, you sorry bastard," Kirk's voice rang out through what seemed to be emptiness. He stepped forward, favouring his right leg. "I won't let you take him."
"Jim," Spock heard his own quiet, even voice. "What…?"
Kirk turned to look at his first officer and he appeared regretful. "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, Spock," he murmured before turning his attention to their enemy. "Take me in exchange. Let them go."
A laughter that was quite literally haunting Spock's dreams echoed and Amanda was tossed to one side. He was by her side just in time to see the face of their attacker. Nero lunged at his captain, spear-like staff in hand, and ran him straight through. The Vulcan's eyes widened and he felt a scream rise in his throat.
"JIM!"
Spock woke, horrified at his own inability to control himself within his sleep. The nightmare left him trembling. It was absurd that he should dream such far-fetched fears. But he did not fear, no. He was Vulcan. He could not fear.
"It's okay to be scared," Amanda's last words echoed in his mind and fresh tears sprang to the corners of his eyes. They would leave out at eight AM the next morning and he had to find a way to gain control over himself before they did so. As it was, if he were Dr. McCoy he would not clear him for duty. He'd spent the previous day wrapping up any lose ends that needed dealing with before he left the planet and seeing her everywhere he turned. Jim had come to visit him, but acted as if he might be ignoring the situation. How would he know to deal with it? Vulcans weren't supposed to be able to crack under pressure as Humans could.
Shaking his head he threw back the covers of his bed and set his feet on the floor. A shiver passed through him as he moved to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, fully waking him. This had to stop. His mother was gone and she would not wish him to anguish over her death. True, she might have always secretly wanted him to understand his Human heritage a little better, but she never would have wished for him to understand pain.
A knock came at his door and Spock dried his face off and moved towards it. Captain James T. Kirk stood in the hallway, his face beaming like a child on Christmas morning. "I didn't wake you, did I?" he asked.
There was a long moment of silence as the end of the nightmare replayed through Spock's mind upon seeing Jim's face. Finally, he was able to murmur a response. "No sir. I was already awake." He briefly wondered if it might be normal and wished he could glance back at his clock without being too obvious.
"I couldn't sleep all night," Jim confessed, eyes still bright. "I… You alright, Spock?"
"Of course, Captain. Why would I not be?"
Kirk looked at his boots briefly. "May I come in?"
If he had been Human, Spock would have been embarrassed by his lack of manners toward his captain. "Yes, Jim," he said quickly.
Jim moved in, listening to the door shut behind him. "Bones says you've been acting strange, even for you," he murmured lowly, as if worried someone outside – even though no one was moving yet at four in the morning – might hear him.
"My apologies," the Vulcan said crisply.
"Spock… I just need to know you're alright. I'm not going to ask you to take a psyc eval or anything like that." He briefly met the other's darker eyes, noting that Spock might even look startled at that. "Bones is just right, is all. You've been acting off since the funeral." There was another pause that Kirk seemed to be gathering his thoughts, stumbling over them at the same time that he gathered them. His voice hastened. "Not that that's abnormal, Spock. Don't think I'm-"
"Jim." The alien's stern use of his name stopped the young captain in his tracks. He looked up to see the smallest flicker of emotion cross the usually blank face. "Thank you for your concern, Captain, but I will make sure to fulfill my duties as expected. There is no need to-"
"I wouldn't ground you, Spock," Kirk answered without a second thought, eyes wide with the realization that Spock might think that. Hadn't he used his mother's death to keep him from the captain's chair only a couple of weeks earlier? "I need you up there."
Spock stared at him, studying his body language that seemed to tell the Vulcan everything about his being. The ambassador's words came back to him and he let out a very soft sigh. "And I will be there with you, Captain," he assured him.
Kirk grinned, clasping his second in command on the shoulder briefly. "Good to hear. See you at the docking station in a couple of hours."
"Yes," Spock agreed as he watched the younger man walk out of his quarters. He wasn't sure why this was happening, or if, perhaps, he really was cracking, but he could be sure that Jim Kirk would be there to hold him together if need be. He trusted the headstrong Human. He couldn't base that decision on any logic he knew, but somehow, he knew his mother would have approved in his decision.
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"You spoke to him?"
"Yes, Bones."
"And what did he say?"
Kirk sighed, shooting his lead medical officer an agitated look. "He lost his mother, Bones. You know it's going to have some effect on him."
"You said that yesterday he kept staring off as if he were seeing someone… like he did at the funeral. Jim, we don't know anything about the limits of the Vulcan psyche. Those people that we were able to beam up from the planet's surface – not the elders – but the ones that went straight to sick bay-"
"I was down there, Bones, I know," Jim cut him off curtly.
"Yeah, then you saw that it's possible for a Vulcan to overload themselves. Some of those people snapped. I'm not telling you to kick Spock off the ship, I'm just saying that you've already seen him let loose and-"
"I pushed him to that."
McCoy groaned, leaning against one of the tables he'd been setting up in the medical bay. "Jim, all I know is you hated him just a few weeks ago. Loathed him. You pushed him as far as to snap emotionally – a Vulcan, mind you - and now you two are all buddy buddy. I like Spock, really, but I'm not sure I can clear him medically for this mission."
"Are you going to order a psychiatric evaluation for one of the best that Starfleet has to offer? For a Vulcan?" Kirk asked pointedly.
"Well…"
"I'm not ordering it. "
"Just promise you'll keep an eye on him, won't you Jim?" the doctor asked quietly. "I hate to say it, but it's unnerving."
"He's fine," the captain assured his elder friend. He sighed and looked up at the clock. "C'mon, let's get to the bridge. We'll be off in just a few minutes."
"Yessir, Captain," Bones grunted with hints of sarcasm in his voice.
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A/N: Wow, I'm not used to writing short chapters, but I like getting them up fast. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!!
CrazyGunFire: I'm not overly surprised about there being so much. I mean, I'm sure that plenty of the people that went to go see it earlier are trekkies like myself, so they already had a good feel for the characters and just repositioned their writings for the details. That's what I did. Thank you very much for your kind review!
AnnoyinglyAnonymous : Hehe… I like your name. That's fun. And yes, you may have more!
Jan 7: Looking back, I agree with you about the memorial service, but alas, nothing I can do about it now. And don't worry, MarySues are not my thing. I have one original character that I've used before in stories, but she won't be making an appearance in any of my Star Trek stuff. She's pretty much primarily Gundam Wing nowadays and from what I understand by fans of hers that I've met, is not considered a MarySue, thankfully. Certainly not a perfect character there…. Anyway, back to this story, Amanda, at least for the sake of this story, was lost in transit of the beaming. Basically, what Bones is always complaining about possibly happening all through the series and movies, happened to her. I guess he has good reason to be worried now. So basically, I suppose what happened to Scotty's professor's dog. That's a horrible thought… oh my….
Danaa: Haha! I loved your little snippet! That was so much fun! I could see Jim saying something along those lines.
Lexicon: I'm not too much of a Generations fan because I grew up mostly on TOS, but I've seen (most?) of the movies with my dad as they came out, so when the last one hit I was devastated. It was my last link to Star Trek of any kind other than going out and buying books, which I did for a while. (Wow, I sound like a crack addict there…. I swear, I function in real life, honest.) So when I saw that this movie was coming out I just about had a fit of joy. I hear that they're even working on a follow up to this one that just came out with the same cast.
VulcanVamp: I'm not overly fond of Kirk/Spock slash. I've been known to read my fair share of shonen-ai stories in the anime department, but something about Kirk and Spock just makes me want to cock my head and try to comprehend, possibly frying my brain while doing so. I love stories that border though, those really, really close friendships. I think people should have more of those in our lives.
Moogsthewriter: It's a pain coming up with plots sometimes. Good luck with that. I actually started an TOS story, but I've been stuck so I decided to work on the 2009 movie instead, being that I'm addicted to it.
Elvenstar Imrahil : Yup! Thanks for the review!
Dragonwitch250: Nope, sorry. Though a drunk Spock would be highly entertaining…..
Shinigami061: Thank you so much! Good to know I've got the characters where they're supposed to be. Thank you!