A/N: I know guys, it's been a long time since I last updated. I'm sorry, I've just been really busy with school and track. Hopefully, I made it up with a longer update than my usual. This chapter is in Lucas's Point of View. I know things are starting off slow, but I need to build up all the relationships and the current storylines at the moment, before I can add my twists. And trust me, there will be a lot of them. There is Brucas interaction in this chapter, and not so much Peyton. However, it's not a lot of BL b/c I'm still going for the slow build-up. Anywhoo, I'ma shut up and ya'll read and review.
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In His Eyes:
For a writer, who masters in using words as part of his daily job, why do I feel like they have abandoned me, only to leave me speechless? It's moments like these where I feel pathetic to call myself a writer. There's so much I want to say, so much I need to say, but the words have left me and instead, I just stand there dumbfounded.
Here she was, Brooke Davis in all her glory, a few footsteps and a door away. But, I can't make myself move an inch further. Our eyes lock for those few seconds, when I realized how much I really missed her. Seeing her again, I couldn't imagine why I lost touch with her in the first place…with everyone in general.
I was drowned in her hazel eyes, until I noticed how broken they looked, probably mirroring all the pain she has recently been through. They lack the shine which has always been a trademark of hers. I suddenly remember that her eyes echo the very same pain I see in Peyton's green eyes. And it hurts me to see both of them this way.
Brooke was the first to break eye contact, and I couldn't help, but feel a little disappointed. It was only then I recognized that Julian had his arms wrapped around her. Julian? Brooke and Julian together? When the hell did this happen? I don't know why, but god, I absolutely hated the idea of them together. It made me mad.
I know she's not mine anymore. I gave up that option a long time ago. Yet, the egotistical part of me wishes she still had some sort of feelings for me or even held on to the thought of me, though I know that's not likely. I want her to be happy, but not without me—am I self-centered in thinking that?
Sometimes, I wonder how me and Brooke ended so royally screwed up in the first place. The distance between us is purposely my fault. I'd like to think that I did it with the best of intentions. It would be less messy this way…a clean break. I knew it was too damn hard to balance both Brooke and Peyton in my lives without neglecting one of them. So like always I made my choice with Peyton and stuck with it. Although, the what ifs of my relationship with Brooke creep up in the back corners of my mind every once in a while.
I don't know why I'm even here anymore. All I wanted was to fix my wrecked friendships. I recall waking up this morning with the sudden inspiration to go see Brooke and start with her. Why? Because I thought she would be the easiest to talk to. I couldn't face Haley at all or bear to see the look of disappointment in Jamie's eyes or get ignored by Nathan as payback. For some strange reason, I thought Brooke would be more forgiving. Maybe, she didn't expect much from me since I've let her down a couple of times before, maybe she's used to it by now. I despised myself for even thinking that, but I knew it was true.
So here I am, feeling too guilty to even utter a word, or enter the door. I curse under my breath. I couldn't talk to her right now. There was no way. Then somehow, I'm able to pick up my feet and run in the opposite direction. Hopefully, this whole incident will seem like I was just taking a quick break from my jogging.
---x---
By the time I got back to work after my run, Julian and Reese were already there. Julian approached me and said, "Hey Lucas, where've you been? I've been meaning to get a word with you."
I icily reply, "I've just been busy with a few deadlines. I haven't been taking too many breaks unlike some people however," directing the last part of my comment to Julian.
"Jesus, Lucas what's with you today?" Julian asks. "And here I thought we were becoming best friends," he sneers sarcastically.
First off, I hated him for being with Peyton, and now I find myself in the same situation except this time I hate him for being with Brooke. Was it jealousy? I don't know. What ticks me off the most is that I know he will probably do a better job of taking care of Brooke than I ever could.
"Okay, I know you've got some thing against me, but don't worry. We won't be working with each other for much longer," Julian softens his tone.
"What do you mean?" I inquire inquisitively. Was Julian quitting? He couldn't. I mean despite what I had said previously, he is doing a good job as producer of the movie, caring for it almost as much as I do. He rubs me off the wrong way, but that's only because the main thing that bothered me about him was his history with Peyton and his relationship with Brooke.
"Well, I recently got off a phone call with my dad. He just got fired."
"I'm sorry to hear that. How's he taking it?" I ask slightly unsure what this has to do with us not working together.
"No, he's fine. He's taking it with a huge cash settlement and an overall production deal," Julian states matter-of-factly.
"Oh, so he's good," I smile lightly.
"I don't think you understand, Lucas. When a studio head is terminated, most of the projects that aren't shooting yet go into turn around," he responds seriously.
"What's turn around?" I question, scared to find out the answer he's about to give me.
"It means they put projects on hold. The movies that have not yet shooted any scenes are paused due to the lack of financial backing."
"Don't lie to the kid," Reese interjects, "Look, Lucas, you just lost your $300,000 production bonus. Your movie's dead, gone, it's over," he declares.
I was in complete shock. "This can't—this can't be happening," I grumble.
"No, no, it's okay. There were other executives who loved the concept of our movie. All I have to do is make the right phone calls. It can still happen," Julian answers with as much conviction as he can—almost as if he was trying to prove to himself that the movie could be saved.
"Try as much as you want. Go ahead, waste your time. We all know this is deal's dead," Reese states and then laughs, "Wow, I got paid to do nothing. I don't know about you two, but I'm going to fucking celebrate. It was real nice working with you guys," he winks before heading out.
"Wait, Reese, hold up. Aren't you even the littlest bit sad about this?" I ask, put off by his attitude.
"Nah, man. I am going to hook up with my own Peyton over there, and then I plan on getting drunk with some high quality wine, while you two mope in misery, drinking away some cheap beer," he grins, "I understand though, if you had ran one measly scene through the camera, you'd be sitting on a fat pile of money right now."
"You don't get it. It's not about the money. We worked so hard on everything. Casting was officially complete, and we were so close," I sigh, knowing that he would never really understand what this movie meant to me.
"Oh, right, right… I'm no writer, but let me take a shot at this. Hmm…We found a story worth telling. We got the script just right. We got the precise crew, and the perfect cast. And we were oh so close to being able to make something that would actually affect somebody," he pauses, "But you know what, sometimes the beauty is in the attempt. We gave it our all, and it didn't work out. Sometimes, you just got to accept that." Those were his final words before walking away.
"You know in the twisted way of his, Reese is actually right. I mean remember you weren't so keen on having this movie made in the first place. You're the one who said, 'Some things get lost in translation,'" Julian reminds me.
"I was at first. But when we got this far, somewhere along the way, I changed my mind, and realized how much making this movie meant to me. I put my whole heart and effort into it. Now, I feel like I'm losing everything on this," I claim as Julian listens to me intently.
"Well, look at this way you lost a movie and a huge production bonus. I lost a movie, a huge production bonus, and two amazing girls."
"Speaking of which, have you told Brooke yet?" I mention casually.
"What about Brooke?" he eyes me suspiciously.
"I mean she is the costume designer after all," I cover up quickly.
"Yeah, I'm gonna have to tell her soon. Actually, I'm gonna have to tell a lot of people they lost their jobs. I'm really sorry about all of this, Lucas."
"Me too."
"You really have an amazing story; the big screen just wasn't ready for it," he remarks. Julian offers his hand to me, and we shake on it sadly.
"It was nice working with you," I tell him, "Good luck with Brooke."
"Thanks," he replies gently, "Now I've got to go confirm the cancellation to the others."
"I'll go with you," I follow him out.
The end was here, and instead of being met with applause on the success of our movie, we were met with a blow of misfortune.
The way one thing can disappear from you in the blink of an eye—it's frightening; leaving me speechless for the second time today.
---x---
I don't know what made me come back here, but for some reason I really needed to see Brooke.
It was now or never.
The first step is always the hardest; after that, it's much easier I try to convince myself. I take a deep breath in, and finally push through the door.
She was sitting in her desk with her eyes glued to the huge piles of paper work stacked in front of her. Her desk looks like a junkyard consisting of all her files, folders, photos, and designs—all of which are in a complete disarray. Or as I remember her calling it back in high school, 'an organized mess.'
"If you're a paying customer, it's closing time, sorry. Check back in tomorrow the same timings," she says in a professional tone without even doing so much as looking up.
I have trouble persuading myself not to leave the boutique this very instant, but instead I manage to get the words out my throat, "I'm not buying."
I can sense Brooke immediately tense up which I find odd. "Then you have more reason to leave. I have a gun with me, and I'm not afraid to call the cops," she answers menacingly. I could swear I saw her jaw twitch for a second, as she shuffles through her coat pocket desperately in search of something, revealing the panic written clearly on her face.
Scared to see her react like this, I quickly run over to her desk and give her a quick shake on the shoulders. "Brooke, stop!" I yell, my voice raw with anxiety.
"Lucas?" she whispers.
This is the first time I've seen her in months, and still I can tell she looks so much more tired than usual. That fresh face she came with into my bedroom one morning to announce her permanent stay in Tree Hill was long gone. Her once chocolate locks of hair almost seemed black, and I could notice the bags forming under her eyes. Despite all that, I have to say she still looked good.
"Hi," I finally spit out.
She returns the hello rather pleasantly. The high tension in the room builds up to such an extent, set on bursting any moment—almost similar to those ticking bombs ready to explode. The awkward silence feels unbearable.
I suddenly forget everything I planned to say. I felt stupid coming here. What could I possibly tell her? That I had been feeling lost, and I realized maybe I need to start reconstructing my friendships with the people I care about? Would that work or would she just laugh in my face? How could I tell her that I am making an effort of reconciling, and she was making it so much harder than it had to be? How do I tell her that I had no guts in going to Nathan, Haley, or Jamie?
Brooke and I were nothing more than estranged exes. Estranged. I hate the way the word rolls off my tongue, leaving a dirty after-taste.
"Excuse me?" A look of confusion masks her face, but immediately she moves on to comment, "Hey look, I'm sorry about the movie. I heard production was cancelled from Julian," she tries her best in breaking up the awkwardness of the entire situation.
Did it bother me that Julian told her this before I could? Yeah, it did; but for now, I let it slide.
I merely nod my head in response, while mentally smacking myself for not being able to make small conversation with her.
I expect another awkward silence, but Brooke goes on to ask, "Did you tell Peyton yet?"
"Honestly, I didn't get the time. She's been really busy with…stuff."
"Aren't we all?" she sighs.
"So…um…are you and Julian together now?" I ask tentatively.
"Oh yeah, you saw us this morning. Why'd you run off in such a hurry, anyways?" she questions.
"Well, I noticed that I was late for work, and I had to run back if I was going to make it," I reply, when instantly I understand that this was a ploy for changing the subject. "You still haven't answered my question, nice try though," I smirk.
She laughs at which I feel a sense of relaxation pour upon me. The tension releases. "Damn it, I thought you'd fall for it! But yeah, me and him have been going out for three weeks."
Three weeks, I think, that long already?
Instead of replying to the latter part of her statement, I chuckle, "I'm just too good for you, Brooke."
"Cocky much, aren't we today Scott?" she kinks her eyebrow towards me.
I can't tell anyone, how much I've missed seeing that. "Nah, I'm stating the truth here."
"Well, I'll have you know I could outsmart you any day, you name it," she winks playfully at me.
I roll my eyes at her, "You wish. But we'll determine that another time, I actually have to leave right now." I also make a mental note to ask about that gun of hers later.
"Okay, sure," is all she replies.
As I step out of the door, I hear her call out, "It's been good seeing ya."
"Call me anytime," I request earnestly.
"Count on it."
I couldn't suppress the smile slowly forming on my face, as I walk out the door.
Could it really have been that easy?
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A/N: I'll tell you right now, though it seems like BL is finally on good terms, it's not true. It appears that way, but Brooke isn't stupid in letting him get into her life so easily. Lucas is wrong, it's really not that easy. Heads up on next chapter will be Peyton's POV with an LP fight coming up & BP. Please review, I live on them.