A/N: Eyyyyyyy I'm back! It's been a while, but have no fear, I won't be leaving this story in the dust. This chapter will be a bit shorter I think, just because of how the story line is breaking up. But it's a whole bunch of Naruto and Sasuke being bros. If you squint it could be considered romantic, but as someone not of that persuasion, that's not how it was intended. Up to you.
TW: Blood, suicidal thoughts, keep yourselves safe lovelies.
Chapter 4: Worthlessness
Worth: n) the value of something measured by its qualities or by the esteem in which it is held
Sasuke never did discover how a pale, bloody, sobbing Naruto appeared beside them in the abandoned lab. One moment, he was keeping watch while Sakura detached the emaciated, comatose female from several machines and the next he was nearly pulled over by a warm, shaking weight on his severed arm. Righting himself, he put a kunai to the sudden imposter's throat in a smooth motion. He was startled with the throat lunged toward the blade, barely managing to yank it back before the pale skin parted.
"No please, make it stop!" A voice pleaded, a bloody hand reaching for the knife. Sasuke realized the intruder was Naruto and dropped the weapon abruptly, gripping his brother's shoulder to hold him upright.
"Naruto!" He called, trying to get through to the hysterical ninja. "What's wrong?" Those empty, blue eyes finally locked onto his, drowned and dim.
"Kill me." Naruto begged, his only hand scrabbling at Sasuke's clothes as his knees buckled. "Please, before I hurt someone." Sasuke was stunned. He'd known something was wrong, but this was terrifying. Had the Kyuubi gone savage again?
"Naruto." He said again, fixing his Mangyeko Sharingan on those haunted hurt, but he had to calm his friend. "Sleep." He commanded, casting a powerful, yet simple genjutsu on him. He watched Naruto's body go limp, seeing shaded lids cover his bloodshot eyes. Sasuke took a deep breath, barely containing the fear that had seized him. Then he knelt, preparing to tend to the wounds, the blood.
"Sasuke!" Sakura's voice cut through the roar in his ears and he glanced up to see her carefully healing the wounds his hand was frozen over. He realized he was shaking hard and squeezed his hand into a fist. "Why didn't you answer?" She asked. He remained silent, unable to form a coherent thought.
"Naruto." He murmured. Suddenly, Sai was there, weapons ready, face blank. He quickly surveyed the situation, swallowed hard, then turned back to the door.
"I'll keep watch." He intoned quietly. Then he left. It was as if his entrance had broken the spell that had held Sasuke captive. He suddenly felt antsy. He stood, pacing back and forth. He whirled around when he heard Sakura cry out, coming back to her side.
"What is it?" He asked, watching her cradle a burnt palm.
"He's rejecting my healing. He's using Kyuubi's chakra to push out mine and swat my hand away." She hissed, carefully surveying the damage. Then she set her jaw and and tried again, sweat dripping and teeth grinding as she fought to seal the raw wounds on Naruto's throat and arm. But the green life kept oozing out of his skin, pushed by glowing rivulets of chakra the color of dried blood. Finally, she sat back panting.
"He won't let me. He doesn't want to be healed." Her eyes teared up. "What happened, Naruto?" She cried. Sasuke forced himself to think clearly.
"Bandage him up and then check the girl. I'll prepare a chakra seal to speed our return and tell Sai to contact Konoha to prepare medical treatment." Sakura nodded, determination burning away her despair. Sasuke quickly filled in a grave Sai and formed simple seals to allow them to leap from seal to seal, similar to the Fourth's transportation jutsu. Using his Rinnegan, he carefully placed them by teleporting every mile or so. He could feel the drain on his chakra, but he pressed on until he had laid seals halfway home.
He made his way back, panting as he reentered the room where Naruto lay. He was still unconscious, but he was bandaged now and the girl they'd come to save was likewise made comfortable. Sakura's expression was grim as she packed the supplies.
"They're both stable. They should remain so until we reach Konoha." She said. He nodded.
"I'll carry him. You take her. Sai can watch our backs. In case of attack, take them both and go. I'll mark the seals I placed on the map." She brought up the map for him, making the marks where he indicated. Sai came in and Sakura showed him.
"I'm ready." The former Foundation member said.
"You're guard. Use the seals. Rat, Tiger, Ox. Keep close." Sai nodded. Then with more gentleness than anyone had ever seen him use, Sasuke lifted Naruto's limp form. With surprising grace considering his missing limb, he cradled the body close to his body, slightly shocked at how bony and light it was. Even more surprisingly, Naruto seemed to react, murmuring softly and twitching his hand up to clutch the front of Sasuke's shirt. Sasuke pretended not to notice.
He glanced to make sure Sakura was ready, then leaped out the large, open window and sped to the first seal. His chakra transferred through his Rinnegan. He could feel the chakra molded by Sai and Sakura, Sai's with a perfection and ease of technique, Sakura's slower and slightly clumsier with the weight of the girl tied to his back hamper her motions, but with a graceful efficiency he remembered from their genin days.
By the time they met a medical crew about two thirds of the way back to Konoha, Sasuke's chakra was almost terrifyingly low. He cursed softly under his breath as he dropped to the ground with the others, a combination of annoyance at his own weakness and irrational terror flooding him; terror because he knew now they would take the still-unconscious Naruto from his arm. He sighed, sitting himself against a tree while preparations were made.
He found himself utterly opposed to the idea of them taking him. He'd released Naruto into their care less than 24 hours ago and now look at him. Pale, bloody, terrified, suicidal. Sasuke's eyes roved the still form, latching onto the smallest details. The dark bags under his eyes, the way his lips and hand twitched as he dreamt, his shallow breathing, the tiny flecks of blood on his earlobe, collar and cuff.
"Sasuke." A weary voice greeted. He glanced up. Kakashi stood above him, sharp eyes taking in Naruto's condition, then Sasuke's. The Uchiha found himself tensing his grip, gaze wary.
"Kakashi-sensei." He returned warily, tone flat, the suffix inserted to add distance. Kakashi studied him another moment, then gestured to the space beside his student.
"May I?" Sasuke nodded briefly, keeping half his focus on his sensei and scrutinizing the medical team with the rest. One was healing Sakura's hand, two focused on the comatose girl and their three-person escort was discussing logistics with Sai. Sasuke vaguely recognized the escort team as the former Team Asuma, the Ino-Shika-Cho of their generation. He had also noticed the fourth med-nin hovering nervously just off to the side, but he ignored her.
Naruto shifted on his lap and Sasuke's whole focus snapped down, taking in the heaving chest, the swollen eyes and the scrunched expression quickly. He pulled him in close, murmuring softly until Naruto calmed.
"What happened?" Sasuke demanded. Kakashi sighed.
"I took him to the safe house to talk to him. I hoped the privacy would allow him to speak openly. He panicked and ran. By the time I got to him, he had clawed his own arm open." He took a deep breath, schooling his emotion as efficiently as when he still used his mask. "Tsunade-san stayed with him overnight, but when he awoke, he told her to leave. Then he clawed at his throat, and when I tried to stop him, he threw me off and ran."
"And teleported to me via our shared blood from the battle." Sasuke finished. He looked down at the blond ninja. "Baka. It could have killed him."
Naruto seemed to realize that he was being spoken about. He moaned softly, eyes struggling to open. Sasuke immediately tucked him in closer, glaring at Kakashi until he left, herding the others out of earshot. Once they were away, Sasuke spoke.
"Naruto." He whispered. Naruto finally managed to crack an eye open, confusion registering at the blurry form above him. Dark hair, dark eye, only one arm under him, that nose and jaw.
"Sasuke." He croaked, fire shooting through his throat. Everything was so blurry. He was cold. Sasuke was warm. He shivered, feeling comforted as Sasuke shifted to pull him in closer.
"How do you feel?" Sasuke asked, the slightest trickle of concern in his tone. Translation: something was very, very wrong.
"What is it?" Naruto whispered, squinting as he tried to make out Sasuke's expression. The confused huf Sasuke made had the same effect. "You're worried. What's wrong?" He added, breaking off into agonizing coughs. Once the white, hot flashes of plain cleared in his head, he stared at Sasuke.
"I'm worried about you." He said. "Now answer my question. How do you feel?" Naruto thought about playing it down, toughing it out, but it felt like the place he shoved all that was shattered. He swallowed, weakly turning so his face was buried in Sasuke's torso.
"Hurts. Cold. Confused. Dizzy. Weak." He started, struggling to hold in his sobs. "Scared, tired, pathetic, stupid." What was he saying? He felt the words flowing out, like a dam bursting. "Ugly, angry, guilty, clumsy… empty." He panted, breathing raggedly as blood trickled down his neck and tears sluiced off his face. Sasuke felt his brother fall limp, struggling to breathe. The barely closed wounds on his neck were bleeding again.
"Oh Naruto." He murmured, bowing over to surround the shaking boy with his warmth. Then, a whisper turned his blood to ice.
"I wish I had died. I wish I had lost to you. I wish you had put your kunai through my throat. Death can't be emptier than this." And so, for the first time since he had learned Itachi's truth, Sasuke cried. It was brief, silent, still, but it was real. Then, he lifted his head, took a deep breath and pressed his forehead against Naruto's. Those blue eyes locked into his and he felt like he was falling into their emptiness.
"Don't wish that. I know it's hard not to. I know you're not in a place to believe me right now, but listen. There is no blame on you. You are the most kind and loyal person I know. You are so strong, so honest. It doesn't feel like that, but guess what? Everyone gets doubts sometimes. You pulled me back. Now let me try. Please, trust me enough to hold on until I can try." He felt as though those eyes were reading his soul. Then they closed, and Naruto nodded slightly.
"I'll try." He breathed.
A/N: I'm feeling like Sasuke is a little OOC, but what are you going to do? It's Naruto! No one else is listening! He's desperate. So heck yeah, he's going to be super sincere and sappy. Specific question for this chapter: Should I write a branch off story where everyone else is trying to help the girl they rescued? That was the original plan, then Naruto angst happened. What do you think? Let me know and my inbox is always open. Love you guys!