Hey guys! I was so happy with all your lovely reviews, thank you so much to Tdor, Droupy48, GreenEyedPixie, Aquata, Amri91, music-and-fairytales, couchpotato565, Jaimie255, chymom and BrokenDaisy. This is for Jen (music-and-fairytales) because i promised i'd have updated by the time she woke up... and i'm still good for ten minutes! Enjoyyy :)

Spend all your time waiting, for that second chance

For a break that would make it okay

There's always some reason to feel not good enough

And it's hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction, oh, beautiful release

Memories seep from my veins

Let me be empty, oh and weightless and maybe, we'll find some peace tonight.

~ Angel, Sara McLachlan

Chapter 4

The next words out of Grace's mouth were, "Alex is on her way." They were sat in the hospital waiting room. Lisbon had always hated these chairs, they were upright, uncomfortable. They helped along the tension you were likely already feeling. "I'm calling Wayne," said Grace, tears still present in her eyes. She squeezed the girls hand as she got up, and walked down the hall a little.

Lisbon felt an unfair twinge of jealousy, not at the fact she was calling Wayne, god no, just that she had somebody to call. When Cara first got ill, and they were just ten, their parents had all sat them down together to break the news gently. Six years later, and most of those families were now broken apart. Cara had been sick when Lisbon's mom had died. Alex's dad had been deployed, a member of the army he was serving another term in Afghanistan, and he'd first left to fight when Alex was thirteen. Cara's own parents had split when she was in remission the second time, when she was also thirteen. Wayne's dad… well he'd never had a together family. Cho never talks about his, which says it all. The only fully functioning family left was Grace's.

Six years is a long time.

Her own mom had been wonderful whenever Cara got sick, she'd ship her to and from the hospital for visits, she'd take Alex and Grace too, she'd do anything and everything to help. Then by some sick twist of fate she'd ended up in that same hospital, in a coma so deep the doctors said she would never wake up, brain dead, they'd said. And for the second time, at the flick of a switch, her world had fallen apart. Except this time the pain had been constant, because her mom was dead, and Cara was still alive, fighting.

When she was twelve she'd been confused as to why her mom had never had the chance to fight. She'd been convinced that she would have been like Cara, fought hard, and be rewarded with a few wins.

Somebody should let Cho know, she thought. She sent him a text while she was waiting, just so he knew what was going on, the two were good friends, he'd always been there for her and she knew if she spoke to him now she'd crack.

While she was waiting she thought about her brothers, prayed that they were alright and not worrying too much.

Before she could start feeling too guilty, Alex burst through the doors, "Where is she? Somebody tell me what the hell is going on. Ter," she whispered, her voice fearful, "Tell me this isn't happening again."

The tears building up in Lisbon's eyes were a dead giveaway to Alex, she never cried, at least not in front of anyone. Alex started crying, the tears flowed fast and silently.

"We're waiting," Grace said, grasping Alex's hand, "We don't know what's happened, we don't know how bad it is."

Last time Cara came out of remission it wasn't pretty, and she's come in and out an unusually high number of times. Grace had been with her at the time and the others were fairly sure the sight of one of her best friends bleeding and throwing up blood had stayed with her for a very long time. Last time had been bad, she'd come pretty close.

"Where's Sophie?" Sophie was Cara's mom.

"She was here," Lisbon said quietly, "She's probably gone to try and find out what's going on."

"It might not be that bad," Grace said, the ever hopeful voice in the group, though her own voice wavered reflecting the doubt in her mind.

"No," Lisbon said softly, "It might not," she put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"She's in hospital," Alex said through her tears, "Of course it's that bad."

"Alex-"

"Don't Alex me, Teri, last time this happened we were only fourteen, we've all grown up a lot since then, what if she-"

She cut Alex off, "Don't play the what if game, anything could happen then. She's survived relapsing three times, she can do it again."

Alex looked at her, and then sank slowly into a chair, head in her hands. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's okay, we've all done this before, Teri's right, if she can do it again we sure as hell can." There was a little more fight in Grace than before.

We said that last time. Was Teresa's silent thought as she said it. But they could, and they would. She sighed and put her head in her hands, wincing as she remembered the cut on one cheek and the bruise on the other a little too late. The pain was the smallest contributor to the tears that flew down her cheeks.

"If she's relapsed now, that's better than it happening straight after she goes into remission, right?" Alex asked.

Lisbon nodded, "When she relapsed during treatment it was bad, but relapse is harder to treat or something." She shrugged, silently adding, and the more she relapses, the higher the chances of her becoming terminal. Shocked at herself, tears filled her eyes, shut up, she told herself. You don't know what's going on.

"Girls," Sophie's voice echoed down the corridor, "You can come in and see her."

She didn't sound too upset, that had to be a good sign didn't it?

They filed into the room one by one, Cara was sat upright on the bed, and probably a mutual first thought of theirs was – she doesn't look too bad. She seemed to read them just right.

"You guys look like hell," she joked, coughing slightly. Ah, there it was.

"Well you tend to scare us a bit when you do this," Alex joked.

Grace smiled at her and sat down next to the bed, "When she says a bit she means a lot."

"Anyone tell you what was going on?" Cara asked.

They shook their heads, "Your mum said it's back," Teresa said quietly, watching her.

The smile faded from her face a little, "I've relapsed," she said frowning, "But the doctors say it's not as bad as last time."

"You fought it last time, you can fight it again," Grace said encouragingly.

Cara nodded, taking a deep breath. "If they wanna give me chemo you guys better at the very least help me pick out head scarves again." She lightened the mood again.

"We could always do what Cameron Diaz does in My Sister's Keeper, and shave our hair off too," Alex said, grinning wickedly.

Cara laughed, "No," she said, "You can just all chop a bit of hair off and donate it to me for a multicolored wig," They all laughed, "Besides, Cameron Diaz never actually shaved her head for that movie, and it's completely different from the book."

The normality in the chatting comforted all of them a little, though they couldn't shake the familiarity of the setting, though the conversation was very different to what it had been last time, and from last time to the time before. But the place never changed, white washed hospital walls, the bedside table that would soon fill with cards and flowers and gifts if she was here for any length of time.

As usual before any of them new it an hour had passed, and Grace had to go. "I said I'd meet Wayne, he's probably worried," she said, biting her lip at how she'd been on the phone earlier. "And of course him and Cho want to know how you're doing."

The first part of that statement was immediately followed by a whole bunch of teasing statements, "Remind me never to tell you guys when I get a boyfriend," Cara said, laughing.

"He's not my boyfriend!" Grace exclaimed.

"Yeah right," Teresa said, "You mean that it isn't 'official'."

"He hasn't asked me out!"

"Yet," Teri added.

"He will," said Alex.

"Soon," added Cara.

She glared at them, "Bye guys, I'll come see you tomorrow," she said to Cara.

"Let us know how it goes with Wayne," Alex called after her, and her and Cara collapsed into giggles.

"I hate you all," she called back.

"Yeah, we love you too," Lisbon yelled after her, smiling. God she didn't know what she'd do without these guys.

"Sorry C but I have to head off too," Alex said, squeezing her hand, "My mom will start to kill me when I walk in the door till I explain where I've been."

Cara smiled at her, "That's cool, I'll see you soon."

"You bet," she said, as she got up to leave.

A comfortable silence settled between them, Lisbon's mind was on her brothers, wondering whether they were okay. She was torn, she didn't want to leave her friend because she was sure that this was weighing her down far more than she was letting on, but she also couldn't leave her brothers for too much longer.

Cara shifted in her bed to face her better, "Are you okay Teri?" concern etched into her face.

Lisbon could have laughed, "This is so the wrong way round," she replied, "I should be asking you that."

"Well I'm not," she smiled sadly, "It's back."

"It'll go again," Lisbon said quickly, too quickly.

They both knew there were no guarantees of that.

"But are you?" Cara asked again.

"I'm fine," she said with a smile, "Just worried about you."

She dismissed it with a wave, "We've all been here before."

"Yet you're always the one who's sick, doesn't really seem fair, does it?"

Cara smiled at her friend, at how much they all worried about each other. "How's my mom taking it?" She asked softly.

"She's upset, but we all are. She'll come round, and she's more together than she was… the first time."

Cara laughed, "Hardly difficult to be better than that."

"Well it's not really going to get easier is it?"

"No," she shook her head. "This is going to be all over school by Monday," Cara sighed.

"Do you think you'll be in?"

She shrugged, "We'll see what the doctors say. I feel like crap, I feel tired, and I'll feel worse when they start the chemo."

"Anything bring it on?" Lisbon asked, wanting an explanation.

Cara shook her head, "You know how it is, I'd been feeling a bit tired, but we all get that. Suddenly I'm bleeding and mom's rushing me to hospital. They did some tests, I texted Grace and told her to get all of you. You know how it is."

She smiled, she did, but she shouldn't – none of them should.

"I'm sorry but I have to go now too," she said, looking at her friend apologetically.

"Don't be sorry, you guys' lives can't just stop; besides I should probably sleep anyway."

She squeezed her hand and go up, "You know I'm here if you need anything."

Cara nodded, "Teri," she said softly, "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked, confused.

"For coming, I know you hate this place."

Their eyes met and she understood, "I don't hate seeing you," she said, smiling softly.

"Bye Ter."

"Bye," she whispered, and then left the room.

She dropped in at the store on the way home; buying some pasta with a little of the money she had earnt today, she was half way through trying to remember what they had left in the cupboards that she could cook it with, when she bumped into Patrick Jane. Again.

"Lisbon," he said cheerfully, and she glared at him.

Now she was convinced that he was following her. "We have to stop meeting like this," sarcasm dripped from the words.

"Maybe if you stopped running away from me we would." He teased.

"Ever think about the possibility that the running is intentional?" She said, teasing a little back though her heart wasn't really in it.

"What's wrong?" He asked, of course, noticing.

"Why do you care?" She shot at him, immediately regretting it. Ouch, he didn't deserve that, not really. "Sorry," she said softly.

He looked at her, like he was trying to solve her, like he was trying to piece together a jigsaw. "Want to walk?"

"Do I have a choice?" She asked.

"You always have a choice," he said.

Not really, she thought. "Sure," she replied, "So where did you live before you moved here?" she asked, genuinely curious. Despite all the time they'd spent around each other on Friday, no one had asked him that.

"Around San Francisco," he said, "And then we travelled down, took us about six months," he smiled. "I've not been in school a lot."

"What do you do?" she asked in surprise.

"Oh, help my dad out with stuff," he said, waving a hand.

He was being vague, but she let him. There's nearly always a reason for that. They walked in silence for a minute, before he asked her again. "So what is wrong?"

She looked at him, silently cursing him. Maybe she shouldn't have let him be vague. "How do you know something's wrong?"

"You looked like you'd seen a ghost earlier," he replied, "besides," he waved a hand; "it's all over your face."

She stared at him, a questioning look in her eye, it was her turn to try and put the puzzle pieces together. But they just wouldn't fit. "My friend's sick," she replied, again with the vague.

"I'm sorry," he said, quite sincerely.

There was some more silence. "It's Cara," she said softly, she might as well tell him, like Cara had said the whole school would know by Monday anyway, "she was diagnosed with leukemia at ten but she's not relapsed since we were fourteen. She's relapsed," she told him, surprised and a little proud at the strength that was still in her voice.

He looked a little shocked, well there's a nice change, she thought. "I'm sorry," he said again.

"Don't be," she said, "She hates when everyone feels sorry for her."

So not much development in this one, but i enjoy the Jisbon bit at the end :P Hope you liked it even if it was a bit sad. Favourite line anyone? Let me know :D Please review, i appreciate every one of them, and am thrilled that you're enjoying it so far :D

Thanks for reading! More stuff happens next chap. :)

Emily xxx