Thank you everyone for your lovely reviews, they are endlessly appreciated – thank you especially to kvsgrl and Trickster707 for reviewing each chapter.

I'm really nervous about this chapter, the reunion – whether it's big or not, I'll let you decide. Please like it.

Disclaimer: I own only my OCs.

Hmm... Whether to walk calmly to the door and make a run for it, or take a very deep breath and face what I've been dreading. I wanted so badly to be a coward, to slink down those stairs at the end of the class, creep to the door, pass silently around the corner, run as fast as I could to my car and drive... anywhere. But I owed it to the guys to stay, to face them. I owed it to them to at least say hello.

It would have been so much easier if they hadn't noticed that I'd come back. Then I wouldn't have to pretend like I'm the happy, well rounded, wittier version of my twelve year old self, because I'm not. More than that, I was afraid that I'd convince myself they care and get attached. And after I'd put myself out there and realised I was actually alone, I'd be too far gone to pretend like I was ever here in the first place, which is what I've been managing to do, on a knife's edge, for the last six months – pretend like I'm here. They couldn't possibly care, or carry the weight of what I went through, so yes... I'd be alone again, and it was better to stay alone than taste false comfort and have it taken away again. I'd worked so hard to numb myself to the pain that I was numb to everything. Allowing myself to feel again, in any capacity, would be suicidal. I needed to stay unattached. Stay unattached Kasey.

Caleb made some motion to Pogue and rushed off at the end of class to see the provost, no doubt, but Pogue, Tyler and Reid all lingered just outside the door. I could see them as I slowly shoved my belongings in my bag and got up from where I was sitting. I let Sofie head down before me and she nodded goodbye as she passed. I took that very deep breath and walked down the stairs of the auditorium.

As I rounded the corner I was immediately swept off my feet into a huge, suffocating hug. For a moment I held back, letting all my reservations race through my brain, and trying to control the images that burst into my head when someone pressed against me too hard. But as I felt those arms around my back, those palms reaching around to my sides, completely encasing me, I let go. This felt different somehow. I reached my arms around Reid's neck (I could tell from the blond hair that my face was now immersed in) and squeezed as tightly as I could in return. As I took a deep breath I realised how amazing he smelt – nothing like your average adolescent boy. He smelt comforting. It had been a long time since I'd had physical contact with someone who I wasn't sleeping with. I avoided hugs, and when I couldn't I only lent in half-heartedly, attempting to fulfil the minimum social requirements. When it came to sex I always had to have control – to be on top, or be the dominating one somehow. Besides, as I've said before, sex still felt like something I was inflicting on myself in an attempt to reclaim it.

'Kase,' he said softly into my ear.

'Reid,' I smiled into his hair. The hug felt like it lasted for hours.

'Put her down, would you? There's some other people here who want a turn,' Tyler piped up. I laughed genuinely, for the first time in ages.

Reid put me down gently and Tyler took his place, though his hug was far gentler, and my feet stayed on the ground. It still seemed like genuine affection though. 'Kase, it's good to see you.'

'You too Ty, you have no idea.' I tried my hardest to make sure my voice didn't betray just how little of an idea he had. Stay unattached Kasey.

Next came Pogue, and I was again lifted off my feet. 'Kasey,' he laughed, 'you're big news around here. We've missed you beautiful.'

'Oh Jesus Pogue, you're gonna make me blush,' I said in a mocking tone. He put me down and I punched his arm. He grabbed the arm with his other hand and pretended like he was wounded, all the while making some stupid face. I looked over and saw Reid leaning against the wall with his hands in his pockets, just smiling at me. Tyler was standing close by laughing at Pogue's antics.

Seeing them now made me wonder again about how much things had changed. Caleb was always the most serious of the guys – he always seemed to lead the group somehow. Reid and Pogue were always the ones I joked around with, or the ones trying their best to piss me off and get a laugh at least. Tyler was always laughing along. He was smarter than he was funny, both he and Caleb were, but he copped a lot of shit for being the youngest one out of us all. Reid liked to pitch himself as the rebellious one – always the first to jump of the highest board into the pool, or talk to a girl, or claim he'd driven his dad's car. At twelve years old. Right Reid. I wondered how he was rebelling these days. Pogue wasn't far behind, but he never took things as far, especially because he and Caleb were pretty close and Caleb tended to disapprove of Reid's schemes – we used to call him 'Dad'. Tyler just always seemed happy to be there.

'Caleb apologises for not being here – he had to...'

'...Go see the provost, I heard,' I cut Pogue off, 'Caleb couldn't possibly be in trouble?'

'Hah, yeah unlikely,' Pogue laughed awkwardly. Strange. Maybe things have changed. He glanced at Reid for a second before continuing. 'So what have you got now?'

'Oh uh... just a study period,' I stumbled a bit over my words, not sure that I wanted to extend this any longer. I suddenly started to feel the weight of the situation bearing down on me. My perfectly crafted plan to stay removed from everyone was starting to fray... after one hour. If I allowed myself to feel anything again, I would feel everything. I couldn't numb myself from some emotions and not others. Fuck. Reid had pushed himself off the wall now and all three of the guys were standing right in front of me.

'Nice, you wanna hang until next period?' Reid asked.

'Don't you guys have business ed?' I asked, trying to avoid the question. I had opted for a language over business ed – Latin, which I'd done in New York. Most people at Spenser did business ed, I figured they'd be doing it too.

'We'll skip it, whatever, it's only first day.'

'No, no don't do that for me, it's fine – I'll be around, we'll hang out at lunch or something,' I said, still trying to be vague. Reid looked me directly in the eye and I could see he was suspicious. There was an awkward moment before Tyler said 'no worries – see you at lunch Kase.' He took a step towards me and gave me a quick hug.

'K, see you soon Kase,' Pogue said, resigned. He leaned in again and gave me a sizeable squeeze before turning around and following Ty down the hallway. Reid also gave me a quick but firm hug, but as he turned to go he stopped and looked at me.

'You alright?' Reid said hesitantly.

'Yeah I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?' I said in my most convincing voice.

He looked at me for another second before saying 'Cool, well, see you at lunch?' He didn't look entirely convinced. 'Yep,' I offered as noncommitally as possible. He smiled at me before turning and heading after Tyler and Pogue, but his eyes looked... concerned? I must be hallucinating sympathy. Jesus I have to get out of here.

I walked as calmly as possible in the opposite direction, back towards my car. I tried to smile, tried to recapture those feelings of happiness I'd felt when I'd been in Reid's arms, but I was overwhelmed. I'd opened myself up and I couldn't close again. I started to run. Reaching my car five minutes later I scrambled for the handle and yanked the door open, throwing myself inside onto the driver's seat, slamming the door behind me and bursting into tears. I hit the back of my head against the headrest, over and over again, trying to contain the tears that I had been holding back for what had felt like an eternity. I pushed the balls of my palms into my eyes as hard as I could, willing the tears back. It hit me – the torrent of crap that had hit the fan months ago that I hadn't allowed myself to acknowledge fully until now – what had happened that night and what I'd done to avoid it.

It fucking hurt.

I need something. Now.

Ok. Well, there it is. The reunion (minus one). I hope it's not a let down.

I know it's a short chapter, sorry, but it's jam-packed full of reunion hugs and it was in between classes.

Please do review. Reviews are much appreciated.