Nico

Bullshit. Bull-fucking shit. That's what this was.

This ship was a living hell. And believe me, this is coming from someone who's experienced in that area.

Tartarus was pretty fucking bad, yes. But while nothing will ever compare with the level of physical suffering which was inflicted upon me in that places, this was getting close in the mental stakes. I couldn't let my guard down, not for a single moment.

Take, for instance, yesterday afternoon. I had snuck into the dinning room, safely assured in the fact that my tormentors were above deck with one another, probably, I don't know, plotting to mutilate me or something. It had been close to a full day since I had eaten anything, due to the risk that came with entering into the open, and while I didn't need to eat quite as much as Frank in order to function, food consumption was still a necessary activity.

So, having arrived at my destination unhindered, I was about to place a request for something that I could scurry off to my room with like, potatoes, or something. I never got to fully decide however, as Percy burst into the room, grin plastered across his face and eyes manic.

My heart did a little skippity-hoppity dance, but I didn't let that show on my face, instead turning aside and seizing a plate from the bench.

'Hey Nico!' cried Percy, over-enthusiasm oozing from every pore. He strode over and threw an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer to him. 'What're you doing this fine morning?!'

Ignoring the tightening in my chest and the thudding of my heart, I clutched my plate tighter as I leant as far away from him as I could.

'It's the middle of the night.' I replied, tone flat as I could make it.

'Why, indeed it is!' exclaimed my companion, seemingly unbothered by the fact that his affection was ill received. 'How time flies when one is having fun!'

'What do you want, Jackson?'

A pair of large, innocent eyes turned on me, unbelieving, as though they couldn't comprehend anything they had just heard.

'I don't only speak to you when I want something! The only thing I want is to see you!'

If he had only stopped there, it would have been okay. No, better than okay. It would have been brilliant.

But there are dreams that cannot be.

'I mean, I was just talking to Jason, and saying how the three of us don't get together enough. Because I think you're really cool, and, he thinks you're really cool …'

I wasn't even imagining the 'hint hint, nudge nudge' that accompanied this comment.

'… and he totally agreed! Which is why, tomorrow, the three of us are going to do some training together! How does that sound?!'

'Horrific.'

Disentangling myself fully from his grasp, I turned my back on his puppy dog eyes, staring instead at my plate, trying to think of what I wanted. Pointedly ignoring the pleading of the boy behind me, I stared at the clean white china, shining so brightly that I could almost see my reflection.

There was no way to resolve this situation, I had decided. Not without digging myself a deeper hole. I would just have to wait them out; they would get bored eventually, and then things could move on. Until that point, it was best to neither encourage or discourage them, to simply show no reaction to anything they did.

And then hope that they had the courtesy to do the same for one another.

My musings were rudely interrupted as the door was flung open once more, heralding the arrival of my other best friend.

'Hey Nico, you'll never guess what just happened!'

Turning, my eyes were met with the sight of a smiling Jason, one hand holding the door back and the other at his side, blond hair gleaming, silhouetted, as he was, in the darkness of the doorway.

'I think I will, actually.' was my reply, as I nodded towards Percy, whose face had lit up as soon as the roman appeared.

The Percy in question sent me a secret little glance, as if to say 'What did I tell you? He's excited to see you! Isn't that great?!'

Jason, in turn, caught this look between us and raised his eyebrows slightly, as though he were asking where this sudden intimacy had emerged from.

I chose not to answer either of the subtle signals, instead turning my back, thinking things through.

Jason was the one I had to be the most careful about. What he knew was actually true, and therefore more important to keep a secret. he knew that I couldn't possibly have lied about my feelings for Percy in front of a god as powerful … as powerful as Cupid. If he told Percy, whoever; the son of Poseidon could full well realise that I had lied to him, and be far more willing to accept the truth of the situation.

But I had to tread gingerly around him too. One slight move, one wrong gesture, and he could be questioning the truth of my feelings. Which meant that even if I had no interest in Jason (which I didn't) and if I had no awareness of his physical attractiveness (which I also didn't) I had to pretend.

Pretend to be in love with him.

Luckily, Jason seemed to be pretty thick in that department. The fact that he was completely assured of my feelings for Percy would also help; anything that I did, which his partner-in-crime would deem as a romantic gesture, he would see only as one of friendship.

This was something I had worked out the day before last and was now counting on.

Which is why I sidled closer to Jason with my plate, a swift jerk of my head giving him leave to enter into my presence.

He took the opportunity quickly, as though he were afraid I might rescind the invitation. Shuffling over to my side, he chose not to make eye contact, as though that might possibly alert Percy to 'our' evil scheme. With a sigh, I asked him what he wished me too.

'What was it you wanted to tell me?'

'Oh, no, it wasn't much.' replied Jason innocently, shrugging and looking down at his feet. 'I was just, uh, excited! I was going to tell you that Percy suggested that the three of us train together tomorrow. But it appears he was even more excited about it than me …' – I clearly grasped the 'hidden' meaning behind this comment – '… because, obviously, he's already told you!'

With a grin, he finished with a flourish, as though expecting the applause which was most surely forthcoming. However, he was met only with a stony look.

'Well, that's all well and good, but no-one actually asked me if I wanted to participate.'

Confused clamouring greeted my comment.

'No, but we assumed you would be more than happy –'

'- a good opportunity to hone all of our fighting skills –'

'- don't spend enough time together –'

I raised a single hand, clutching my still-empty plate with the other. A sigh, and I conceded.

'Whatever. The two of you are obviously never going to leave me alone until I agree. But I don't want to do this, okay? So don't make it seem like I do. Because I don't.'

Jason patted me firmly on the back, hand resting for a moment, in what was obviously meant to be a supportive gesture.

'Good choice, Nico. You won't regret it.'

Percy didn't miss the tone, nor the steady hand that still lay flat upon my shoulder. By the gods, he gave me an eyebrow raise!

His meaning was obvious.

'Look! He might not even know it himself, but he's certainly interested in you!'

I roughly shrugged the hand from my shoulder, and rolled my eyes in reply. Hopefully Percy could interpret the worldwide meaning that I was attempting to convey.

'Yeah right.'

I was unsure how much longer I could deal with this. The issue with both of them thinking that I was in love with the other, and being unaware of the fact that that was what the other thought, was, well … everything. One of them would do something, glance at me, smile, to reassure me; the other would see it, and make some sort of knowing gesture, which their counterpart would see and interpret as romantic. They would then indicate this in some fashion, which the other would see … and on and on and on it went.

It was completely horrific.

There was no foreseeable end to this vicious cycle and that fact was slowly destroying me.

How could I resolve this situation? Simply put, I couldn't. The only option was to ride it out.

And ride it out I must.

Which was how I found myself in my current situation, standing before the training room with a scowl on my face and fear in my heart.

I had to do it. I had to knock on the door, there was really no way out of it.

But I didn't want too.

Sighing, I reluctantly raised a fist. Best to get it over and done with now, before one of them came barging out and hit me in the face with the door or something else suitably ludicrous. A series of firm knocks, and I pulled the door open, entering into the valley of death.

The valley of death didn't look like much, really. A large-ish room, matt-clad, with the occasional punching bag swinging listlessly from the ceiling. Since it was situated in the centre of the ship, there was no windows, and the walls were simply circled with a long bench.

A lovely bench it was, all wooden and shiny. Its beauty was marred only by the two beings that rested their overly enthusiastic bodies upon it.

Heads bent in together, they seemed to be engaged deeply in conversation, a clash of light and dark. I wondered what they were talking about that required so much attention that they totally missed my arrival.

They looked pretty chummy.

Actually, they looked more than chummy. Fucking hell, the two of them looked like they were in a seriously committed sixth month relationship and were planing their anniversary. The way that Jason leant further forward, expression engaged, and nodded his head at something Percy said, even as the son of Poseidon spread his hands out before him, as though illustrating a certain point.

Now wouldn't that be a plot twist – both of them falling for one another while they were attempting to play wingman.

With my luck, I wouldn't be surprised.

A twinge of jealousy struck me, and I stepped back in order to stare angrily at it. Why was I jealous about this? Jason had never shown any interest in Percy, and even though his current situation made him look pretty gay, he had never shown an inclination towards the side of the queer. I had no right to be angry, I was taking everything too seriously, and I needed to cool down and look at this in a more level-headed fashion.

That was what I told myself as I angrily relinquished my grip on the door, adding just enough force to the movement to creak a satisfying slam. Both of them glanced upwards as I stomped in, expressions hunted, at first, until they realised it was me. Then, as one, they rose to their feet, both more than eager to greet me.

Jason made it first, most probably due to the fact that his legs were longest.

'Nico!' he cried, as his bulk moved forward, and his arms wrapped around me in a short, crushing hug, squeezing the life from my frail form. Leaning in, he whispered 'Excited?', a single, short, terrible question, before drawing away.

As I was released, gasping, I wondered since when he and I had been on hug basis. Since when had I been on hug basis with anyone? The only person who willingly initiated physical contact with me was Hazel, and that was only because she knew that I secretly didn't hate it as much as I let on.

But that was because I liked her. I could be an affectionate person, if I wanted to, but there was no one with whom I wanted to be.

Except for Percy, and that really wasn't an option of any sort.

The Percy in question also obviously hadn't got the 'don't touch, just look' memo, as he followed swiftly after his blonde companion. His hug was looser the touch gentler, the sort of hug which should have been a quick squeeze-and-release. It wasn't though. Ohhhh it wasn't; a fact I was more than aware of as every single point of contact between the two of us decided to evolve and suddenly become hyper-sensetive. He kept the contact as he moved forward, cheek almost brushing mine, breath ghosting over my face, leaning in enough to speak without needing to fear the eagerly listening ears of others.

'Jason seems happy to see you, don't you think? Isn't it great?!'

He stepped back with a secretive grin and a quick raising of the eyebrows, leaving me, all at once, abandoned and lonely. At his shoulder, Jason shot me a knowing look, a small grin, surely congratulating the progress we had both made.

Mentally, I groaned. Two seconds in, and I already wanted to punch something. Luckily, this situation allowed that as a possible option, something I was immensely glad for. Imagine if they had suggested we go on a picnic or something. Flowers are a lot harder to kill people with than swords.

My dear companions were busy gazing expectantly at me. It hadn't been revealed to me yet why I had to be the one to start the proceedings off, but neither of them appeared particularly keen to move the situation along. I, however, was a different story. This needed to be over and done with as quickly as possible, so I could dash off and retreat to my broom cupboard, were I would, well, think about the pointlessness of existence or something else suitably depressing.

'So. We starting?'

That snapped them out of it. Jason nodded, and dashed off to grab his sword, while Percy simply lingered, looking me up and down in a way that most probably would have made me blush if there had been any sexual subcontext between the two of us. Fuck, I was almost blushing anyway.

'You wearing that?' he asked, not exactly confused, but certainly not entirely sure.

I glanced down at my black shirt and jeans.

'Yeah? What's the issue with it?'

Percy and Jason were wearing different clothes, Percy a threadbare orange t-shirt, so faded you almost couldn't read the 'Camp Halfblood' plastered across it, and Jason a light blue polo that was almost exactly the same colour of his eyes; probably one that Piper had forced him to purchase. Both of them had sporty-looking shorts on instead of their usual trousers.

'It might get a little gross.'

Jason added his two cents from across the room, where he had just seized his sword.

I had considered that fact, and I didn't have any particular desire to wander about for the rest of the day while clad in sweaty clothing, but I didn't have much choice, due to one, tiny issue …

'I don't have anything else to wear.'

They'd picked me up from a giant glass jar, after I'd spent almost an entire week trekking my way through the underworld. What did they expect? Everyone else had brought stuff from camp(s), or stopped off along the way. However, no one ever asked me to join them while they were shopping, perhaps due to the fact that I wasn't the most, ah, personable of companions.

It wasn't usually a problem; at night I would shed my jeans, socks and shirt, and in the morning I would don the clean ones that magically appeared in a folded pile at the end of my mattress.

Percy was looking at me a little oddly, but Jason seemed unconcerned by this.

'Oh, is that the issue? I've got a spare shirt in my bag, if you want it. No trousers though – sorry.'

'Uh, oh, thanks.'

I was a little weirded out by the idea of wearing Jason's clothes, but at least it would mean I could be somewhat cleaner.

He pulled out a wad of white and pegged it too me. It landed dismally short, perhaps due to the fact that cotton isn't very aerodynamic. Picking my way across the mats, I seized it.

'Well, uh, I'll just head to the bathroom, to change.'

I started towards the door, until I was halted by a call from Percy.

'Hey Nico, don't walk all that way, it's pointless. You can get changed here, we're all guys, it's not like we're judging you or anything.'

Oh shit.

'Ah, better not, I mean, it might, well, um …'

'I'm fine with it too.' chimed in Jason, ever helpful. 'It'd be a waste of a journey, and that would mean the session couldn't last as long.'

There was a certain emphasis on the last phrase, most likely his reminder that my time with Percy would be cut shorter if I left.

That would indeed be a blessing from the gods.

It seemed that I was, however, unable to escape. Cowed by their words, I shuffled to the corner, fiddling with the shirt I held.

Shaking it out, I discovered that it was slightly too large. I probably should have expected this, due to the fact that Jason was almost twice my size. Back to the other two boys in the room, I dropped it on the ground, as I seized the hem of my own shirt and drew it swiftly over my head.

Throwing it aside, I leant over to grab the white bundle of fabric, the garment slipping through my fingers in my haste. Cursing, I snatched it up, shoving my head through the provided hole. My elbow momentarily snagged, impeding my movement, but I was eventually fully clad, an operation that took almost seven times as long as it really should have.

Turning, I shrugged the arms higher. This had obviously already been designed as one of those loose, low-necked shirts, so on me it was practically a muumuu. Discovering that both of my companions were staring at me, a fact that implied that they had been watching my naked back for the past minute, I blushed, stalking into the centre of the room.

'So, are we fighting or not? Because I really want to stab something.'

So this one still wasn't that funny but I PROMISE the next chapter will be filled with laughs-a-plenty; I just had to set up for it.

And also I'm not sure how the clothes-washing system works on the Argo II but basically I just wanted to make Nico wear Jason's clothes.