Pansy And Hermione Pansy And Hermione
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
AN: Thank you very much for all the reviews! It's very cool to see that someone out there is reading this. It's Pansy's point of view.
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"I love you."
Shocked, I stood there staring at the girl that had just confessed her love to me. Maybe I had misheard her; maybe she hadn't said that at all.
"E-excuse me?"
"I said: I love you, Pansy." She said again, softer this time. She walked over and stopped in front of me, her face was red and tears were trickling down. I didn't know what to say so I just embraced her and hid the tears that were now running down my own face into her shoulder.
After a short while, Potter spoke up, "I'll leave you two alone." He started dragging the bound Draco back into the castle.
We broke away and stared at each other. How could she love me? How could anyone love me? I was pathetic, useless and tainted. I couldn't comprehend how she could return my feelings, without even knowing about them. Why had I believed Draco? Why had I let him smooth talk me like he has smoothed talked so many others?
"So…?" She asked awkwardly, wiping her face dry. I realized that I hadn't responded yet and I felt even worse.
"Hermione…I don't know why any of this makes any sense. I don't know how you could possibly love someone like me, but," I took a deep breath. "I love you, too." I said, trying to be brave. "I mean, am I wrong? Am I wrong to love you like I do?" A smile so big emerged onto her pretty face and new tears sprung from her eyes. "Please don't cry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
She shook her head. "You didn't. I'm…I'm just so happy." She laughed nervously and my heart felt light. "I was ready to be rejected, honestly. I was so scared."
I brushed some hair out of her face and said, "Don't be." I leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips and she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. Bliss filled my entire body; I felt that if she and I were together we could overcome any obstacles that came our way.
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We walked into the castle hand in hand heading to the room of requirement so we could talk more privately. It was dark out now and we could hear the owls cooing in their nests. We passed a dazed Draco on our way and I assumed that Potter had confunded his memories of what had just occurred.
"I hope he doesn't remember anything." I whispered to Hermione once we got out of earshot. "That would mean big trouble for us."
"Why? I don't give a rats ass about that ferret boy." She chuckled.
"Well, the only thing is…He could tell his father." She stared at me, in shock.
"Would he do that?" She asked, a hint of fear in her eyes. "What would Lucious do?"
"I don't know." I said honestly. "But whatever it is, it wouldn't be good. For either of us."
We stopped in front of the portrait and waited for it to change into a door. It didn't change. I was about to lift the portrait off the wall when Professor Tweed, the new Charms teacher, strode around the corner, as if expecting us.
"Hello, girls." She greeted us as we jumped away from the portrait. Did she know about the room of requirement?
"H-Hello, Professor." Hermione stuttered. I didn't say anything, but stared at the professor, wishing that she wouldn't ask any questions about why we were out so late.
"So, you're the two that have been using the ol' Room of Requirement. Now, I know it is amusing to have your own little clubhouse, but I'm afraid you can no longer use it." She chuckled and my spirits sunk. No more sharing a room with Hermione? Now where would I stay? I couldn't go back to the dormitory. She glanced at me and, as if noticing the fear in my eyes, said, "However, if you have a legitimate reason to stay I could arrange for you to have your own rooms." She smiled and beckoned us to follow her down the hall and into her office.
"Follow my lead." Hermione whispered into my ear. We took a seat in front of her desk and Professor Tweed sat down and smiled at us.
"I supposed you're wondering why the portrait wouldn't open for you." She said, seeming to be proud of herself. "I just required for it to only open to me until you two came back. Clever, no?"
Hermione gave her a disgusted look and I could tell what she was thinking. Anyone who had to proclaim their intelligence was only proving their ignorance.
"Yeah, sure." Hermione said, politer then I would have been. "Professor…It turns out that we do have a legitimate reason to be on our own. You see, I'm a…" She paused and glanced at me. "A lesbian."
"I see." Professor Tweed said looking at us. "And, you want to be together…so you are using the room of requirement?"
"No. You see, I'm a lesbian," She said it with more confidence this time, "And I've been suffering harassment from the other Gryffindors about it, that's why I left. However, Pansy here," She motioned to me, "Is not a lesbian. She's just a really good friend of mine."
"I see." She said unbelievingly. "And, Pansy, why are you required to stay with miss Granger?"
"I-I'm not required to…" I started, unsure of what to say.
"You see professor, Pansy's family life-"
"No, I want Pansy to answer me." Professor Tweed said staring at me with ex-ray eyes.
"Ok." I said, staring right back. I wouldn't be intimidated into going back to where I didn't feel safe. "It's pretty complicated, to tell you the truth."
"I have time." She said, nonchalantly.
"Well, good." She was pissing me off now. "There's a boy in Slytherin house who my family sold me to when I was underage. He expects me to be his sex slave, so I left." I said curtly.
She didn't say anything but looked concerned and shocked. "Well, that won't do at all. Who is this boy I will see that he is disciplined at once."
"No, Don't!" I said, a little louder then I had planned. "His father is a very powerful deatheater. If he were to find out I told anyone about this…he would surely have me, or my family, killed."
"Oh." Was all she said. She sat there in deep thought for a few seconds. I glanced at Hermione and she looked pleased, as if we had just won a case in court.
"Alright." Professor Tweed said after a while. "I'll allow you two to have your own rooms. I'll try to make it as identical to what you had in the Room of requirement as possible. You may spend one last night in the Room of Requirement while I make the arrangements, but report to me first thing tomorrow after breakfast and I'll take you to your new rooms."
We thanked her and left the office. We didn't talk as we walked to the portrait of the Knight on the Horse, went inside and sat down on the couches by the fire. I sat next to her and she leaned in and put her head on my shoulder. I smiled and kissed the top of her head.
"We got lucky today." I said, after a while.
"How so?" she asked, staring into the fireplace.
"Well, we could have been discovered by Draco and we could have had our room taken away from us." She nodded.
"What are we going to do when the school finds out about us?" She asked. I hadn't thought about that. To me, it didn't matter as long as I was with her, and Draco was oblivious. "Should we deny it? Or should we be outright with it? Kissing and holding hands in public and all?"
"I think we should…pretend like everything's normal in public." I said softly, trying to not hurt her feelings. "Because if Draco finds out…"
"Right." She looked at me. "So for now, we'll just act normally." I nodded.
As we sat, watching the fire I thought about what this meant. Hermione and I loved each other. I felt as if nothing mattered in the world except the girl that was now in my arms.
"Hermione?" I whispered.
"Hm?"
"Are you my girlfriend?" I asked, feeling silly.
She smiled and nodded. "I like the sound of that." She said dreamily.
I liked the sound of that too. Hermione Granger, my girlfriend. Now when people ask 'Who's that?' I can answer proudly, 'She's my girlfriend, Hermione.'
I felt happy and giddy all over, but there was one thing that was nagging at the back of my mind. Why did she love me? How could anyone who knew my past and everything that I had done ever love someone like me. Not only was I horrible to muggle-borns, but also, I was tainted. Tainted with the stench of Draco that all the cleansing magic in the world couldn't erase.
After a while she said, "The Halloween dance is coming up. Maybe, we could go together." She glanced up at me, "It's a costume party so we could dance and be together without people knowing who we are."
"You're so brilliant." I smiled at her and leaned in and kissed her cheek.
She blushed and said, "Its two Saturday's from now."
"Want to go to Hogsmede tomorrow, seeing as it's Saturday? We can go get our costumes, it'll be fun." I suggested, thinking of what I would go as.
"Yeah, that sounds like fun. I have to be back by 5 o'clock because I have a Heads meeting to finish planning the event. Is that ok?"
"Of course. How are you going to be around Draco? Maybe you should bring Harry, for protection." I knew Draco to be a heartless person, uncaring and manipulative. I didn't trust him around her, especially now when so much was at stake.
She chuckled, "I'll be fine. I've handled him before." I could see a trace of worry on her face but it was gone in a flash and replaced by her usual smile. I decided I would have a talk with Harry before that meeting, maybe he could secretly watch over her?
We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing by the fire. We planned where we would go the next day and what costumes we would buy. I was so content; I had almost forgotten all my family problems and even the fact that I was tainted. All I cared about was that moment, where I was happy, where I was loved. Where I was with her.
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The next day we woke up on the couch, still holding each other. We got dressed in our weekend clothes and went down to breakfast. After receiving many glares from the Gryffindors I sat down across from Hermione at the end of the table.
"You think they'd be used to it by now." She muttered, reaching for a waffle.
"Yeah, I know." I rolled my eyes. "But I don't mind it as long as I can eat with you." She looked up and smiled. Without thinking I reached out and held her hand in mine, above the table. She pulled away from me and gave me a questioning look. Luckily, Harry was the only one who seemed to notice. He picked up his plate and came to sit down next to us, and his girlfriend followed. Ron was nowhere to be seen.
"Hey, how's it going?" He asked, sitting down next to me.
"Good." Hermione and I responded in unison. Ginny sat down next to Hermione and began to ask her questions about her potions paper that was due on Monday.
"Harry?" I said looking at my food.
"Yeah?" He took a bite of hash browns.
"Thanks…for yesterday." I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye.
"No problem."
"Hey, guys we'll be right back. I need to go find Ginny a book to help her out." Hermione said suddenly and they got up and left for the library. I took this opportunity to talk to Harry.
After I was sure that they were gone I turned to him and said, "Um…there was something I wanted to ask you…about Hermione." I started fiddling with my napkin, wringing it smaller and smaller.
"What is it?"
"Tonight there's a Heads meeting and Draco is the Head boy."
"Yeah I know. How that happened, I'll never know." He rolled his eyes and smirked.
"I was wondering…if you could maybe keep an eye on her?" I swallowed. "Not that I don't trust her or anything. It's that I don't trust him. I'm worried that he'll try to do something to her."
"Why don't you tell her not to go?" He asked, worried.
"She seemed to think she could handle it. But I'm not so sure. I know what he's capable of and I never want Hermione to go through what I've gone through…ever."
"And you can't go with her?"
"He'll get suspicious if I'm always around her. And trust me…that's bad for both of us." After I had successfully ripped my napkin to shreds I began pushing the bits of egg around on my plate. "If you could somehow keep watch over her, undetected, then I would feel loads better."
His eyes seemed to light up when I said 'undetected'. "I've got just the thing." He said, with a smile. "But, you should join me. You said yourself you know what Malfoy's capable of. You'll be able to tell if he's up to something or if something's not right."
I paused for a moment. He was right, I knew Draco well, even if I didn't want to. Even if I closed my eyes I could still see the look on his face whenever he required my…services. "I'll do it…for her."
"Good." He nodded and resumed eating. Through a mouthful of food he said, "So, you guys going out now, or what?"
I chuckled. "Yeah. We are." I smiled at the thought of it.
"Good. You two seem good together."
"Thank you!" Hermione seemed to pop out of nowhere, Ginny following close behind her carrying a mountain of books.
"Jeez!" Harry exclaimed eyeing Ginny's bundle. "You think you gave her enough material, Herms?"
She laughed, whole-heartedly. "Well, she said she wanted a good grade, so I'm just helping my friend out."
"Aw that's so like you." A voice from behind Hermione said. She turned and revealed Ron, his eyes were blood-shot and dark circles were forming under his eyes. His hair was unkempt and he seemed to be wearing yesterday's clothes. "You like to think you're helping when really you're just…hic…making things worse!" He slurred his words.
"Are you drunk, Ronald?" Ginny asked, astonished.
"Oh, don't start with that 'Ronald' crap." He spat at her. "You sound just like mum." Ginny looked taken aback, but didn't say anything else.
"Ron?" Harry got up and sniffed the red-head's breath. "You're drunk!"
"You're a faggot, shut up…hic!" He wandered over to the other Gryffindors, who looked at him with as much surprise as we had, and sat down. Harry sat back down next to me.
"God, he's turned into such a dick." Harry glared in Ron's general direction. I glanced at Hermione and she had a look of shock and guilt. I figured she needed to talk to someone about this so I got up.
"Ready? We need to stop by Professor Tweed's office before we go to Hogsmede." I said, offering my hand to help her out of her seat. She nodded and accepted my gesture.
We walked out of the great hall and began in the direction of Tweed's office. Hermione walked in silence, deep in thought. I decided to break the ice and see if I could get her to talk about this.
"What was up with Ron today?" I asked, innocently.
"I dunno." She said, absently. "The only other time I've ever seen him drink like that was the first time I broke up with him." She stopped and looked down at her feet, her hair falling and covering her face.
"You broke up with him before?" I asked, encouraging her to talk about it. I took a seat on a nearby bench and motioned for her to sit down next to me, which she did.
"Yeah, over the summer." She sighed. "He had been pestering me to…go all the way with him. So I decided to break it off, before I caved in and did something I would…regret." She sniffed, and I wondered if she was crying behind her hair.
"What happened? Why didn't you two stay broken up?"
"He cried, stormed off, and apparently got really really drunk. He began to talk about how nothing mattered anymore, how I was his world. Quite frankly, I was afraid that he would try to kill himself. So I took him back." Her breath had become hitched and I knew she was crying. I pulled her close to me and rubbed her back.
"Did something happen that night?" She nodded. "Did he…guilt you into having sex with him?" She nodded again and I could see her crumble and give into the tears she had been fighting. She began sobbing loudly and I held her close to me.
Her breathing had become hysterical by this point. She had to gasp for air every couple of words and she buried her face in her hands. "I feel…so used." She sobbed harder. "I feel so…tainted." The word seemed to trigger something inside me and I felt a great pang of sorrow for the girl sobbing in my arms. Tears for her, and selfishly for myself, began to flow down my own cheeks. "How could I have let someone…u-use me like that? Why wasn't…I s-strong enough?!"
"Shh, shh." I began to comfort her, rocking her slowly in my arms and in doing so it felt as if I was comforting myself as well. "It's not your fault." I said, the tears flowing heavier down my face and I wiped it on my shoulder. "Y-you're strong, Hermione. You're beautiful, and smart and…I love you."
She looked up and noticed that I was crying as well, she seemed so moved by this that she leaned in suddenly and kissed me, for the first time, gently on the lips. Our faces were red and wet with tears and snot but it was the most romantic moment of my life.
After we had both calmed down she said, "The only reason I felt it was safer to break up with him here was I knew he had friends. I knew that he had a support system to back him up. But it looks as if he's started drinking regardless of what his friends think." She had a look of pure guilt on her face.
"Hermione, you have to know that it's not your fault." I said, squeezing her hand. "You had to break up with him, it was an abusive relationship and if you had stayed with him you wouldn't have been happy." She nodded, only half convinced. "Listen, if he wants to drink and mope around, let him. He's convinced himself that that's the only way to feel better, and only he can get himself out of a situation like that."
She wiped her eyes and got up. "You're right. If he wants to act that way…then that's the way he's going to be. I can't help him."
"And if you tried, you would probably be putting yourself in further harm." She nodded again. I pulled her into one last hug and we started off for Professor Tweed's office, hand in hand.
When we arrived at her office, she was waiting for us at the door. "Oh, there you two are!" She smiled and then, seeing our tear stained faces, frowned. "What happened?"
Thinking fast I said, "Those bigoted Gryffindors again. Called her a…dike."
"Oh, that's just awful!" She said, locking her door. "Someone should do something about those students." She started walking down the hall and we had to hurry to catch up with her.
"So, your new rooms are in the western wing of the school, so you'll have a nice view of the lake." She sounded like a realtor, trying to sell a house. As we walked I noticed that we passed the kitchen portrait and I was relieved that at least we'd be close to food if we wanted it. "And here we are." She said, stopping in front of a large portrait of a frail looking girl with a cat on her lap.
The portrait was like most others in the castle except when we heard the usual "Password, please" it wasn't the girl who asked, it was the cat, its whiskers twitching as it talked.
"They're new tenants." Tweed said to the cat. She turned to us, "What would you like the password to be?"
"Athena?" Hermione said, looking at me. I nodded; the idea of the Greek goddess of war seemed to fit our moods at the moment. The portrait swung open and we entered. The common room looked remarkably similar to the one in the room of requirement, only with more couches, a bigger fireplace and what looked like a balcony behind the grand staircase that led to our rooms. The walls were jade green and gold lions were embroidered along the top of the wall.
After we had explored the room, we noticed that professor Tweed had left, so we gathered our purses and walked out to the path that led to Hogsmede. We spent the rest of the day there, going to different shops and trying on costumes for the dance.
I decided on a sexy vampire costume, complete with fangs and strappy high-heels. Hermione said that my pale complexion and black hair really completed the look. Hermione had a more difficult time choosing a costume. She seemed repulsed by the many floozy outfits, and the only ones left were either two ugly or just plain expensive.
"Why can't there be a modest, yet attractive costume that doesn't cost a fortune?!" She exclaimed, frustrated. "I mean, seriously. Parents wonder why their kids are growing up so fast, it's because of this kind of marketing."
Finally she decided on an Egyptian witch outfit. It was a linen robe with gold sandals that entwined all the way up to her knee. She had a small gold headdress, gold earrings and bracelets. The only thing missing was a necklace, but the store clerk said that the necklace had gone missing a few days ago and that they would give us a discount. The necklace had been perfect. It was the same color gold as the rest of the jewelry but had a rattlesnake ready to strike on the largest ruby pendant. We left the store and went to a small café to order sandwiches for a late lunch.
Thinking about the missing necklace, I remembered the jade necklace Hermione had been looking at the last time we were in Hogsmede together. I made the excuse of going to the bathroom so I could slip out and purchase it for her.
On the way back from the jewelry shop, I noticed Draco was going into a dark magic shop. Having a new surge of courage from earlier that day, I followed him in, taking care not to let him see. He went straight to the counter and asked, "Do you have in fresh truth potion?"
"You're in luck, young Malfoy." The clerk said in a raspy voice. "We have one bottle left and we aren't due for another shipment until next week." He pulled out a small bottle from a shelf behind him.
"So, I suppose we're both lucky that you had one more bottle." He said in a threatening tone. "I need it for tonight." The clerk stopped smiling and quickly rang him up. I ducked behind a shelf of books as he walked haughtily out of the store and out of sight. 'So, that's what he's planning for tonight.' I thought as I pretended to browse the section. There were many dark books on the shelves, I recognized most of them from the Malfoy's private library, but one book in particular caught my eye. I picked it off the shelf and opened it. The Malfoys had this book and I remember that Draco always had it with him. I decided I would buy it and find out just what he was up to.
"What kept you?" Hermione asked, suspiciously once I returned to the table. "It's nearly 4:30, we should start heading back soon."
I told her about seeing Draco enter the dark shop and what I saw him buy. She didn't say much but looked concerned and eyed the book under my arm. "And you bought something while you were there?"
"Uh…yeah." I said, nervously. I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. "You see, I've seen Draco with the same book. I need to know what he knows if I'm ever going to overcome this hold he has over me."
She smiled wearily and began walking up the path back to Hogwarts. I could tell that she didn't like the idea of a dark magical book, probably because of the enchanted book Ginny had in our second year. Back then I didn't care about them or anything really, so I had thought it was funny. I regretted more than anything the actions of my past and I wanted to make up for them.
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Harry met me in the great hall after Hermione had left for the meeting in the library. "So, what's your plan?" I whispered as we left and started hurrying towards the library.
"This." He pulled out a weird semi-transparent cloak. "It's my invisibility cloak. It was my dad's." He beamed with pride. He put it on and completely vanished.
"Wow, I'm impressed." I said sincerely. "I've seen a lot of dark magicians fail at creating such a fine cloak. This is a rarity."
He dropped the hood and the look on his face told me that I didn't know the half of it. He wrapped it around me and we walked the rest of the way into the library. Once inside we looked around for the table where Hermione and Draco were at and found that they were sitting in the far corner. There was tea set out for the two of them and as we got closer we could eavesdrop on their conversation.
"Where'd the tea come from?" She asked cautiously, not touching it.
"McGongal said it would calm us, or something." He muttered and took a sip of his tea. Hermione pushed hers away from her.
"I'm allergic to tea leaves." She lied and I smiled, good for her.
"This was made with tree oil, she said. It's actually pretty damn good." He took another big sip and grinned. It made me want to gag. I looked at Hermione and she had a look of repulsion on her face.
"Let's just get down to planning this thing, ok?"
"Are you sure?" He pushed her cup toward her. "Its so tasty, you don't know what you're missing."
"That's ok." She shuffled through her papers and asked, "Do you think we should have the regular pumpkin lanterns or should we try something new this year?"
"I think you should try the tea." He said, sounding angry.
"Get over it, I'm not going to." She glared at him.
He sighed. "Fine, fine." And with one swift motion he pulled out his wand and pointed in between her eyes. "I was hoping it wouldn't come to this." He spat.
In one quick motion Harry and I both drew our wands and pointed them at Draco. There was a flash of light and then the room went black.
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An: Yes yes, another cliffhanger. One question, do you like how I'm switching the point of view? Or is it too confusing. The only way for me to know is if you review! (:
BTW: I'm so proud of that one after breakfast scene. It feels like a bit of my soul went into that one. What do you all think of it?