Chapter Four

"Ellen, talk to me. Please?"

That was Rachel, begging me to talk to her. I was walking down the hall towards the cafeteria at lunchtime.

I had managed to ignore The Unicorns the whole day, without talking or speaking to any of them once. Not once.

I know I had promised my diary I would talk to them, but I was still so mad. Plus, I wasn't even sure if they would even listen to me.

And now, here was Rachel following me down the school hallway into the cafeteria.

"Ellen, stop! I want to talk to you!" Rachel called out.

I ignored her.

All of a sudden, Rachel tugged at my arm.

"Ellen, please. You gotta listen to me, okay. Please, hear me out."

I rolled my eyes. "Do I have to?" I asked.

Rachel nodded. "El, I just want you to know that you to know that we're all sorry for how we've made you feel. We feel very, very, very awful."

I didn't feel too convinced.

"Well, why did you send you to apologize? Why are only you apologizing?" I asked.

"I guess because I'm your best friend? Best friends are supposed to apologize first, right?"

I guess she had a point.

"Yeah. I guess so," I said.

"Well, I never wanted to be president, anyway. And neither does Mandy, but I guess we all got carried away with the presidency, I guess we sort-of-forgot you'd be leaving us. I'm sorry, Ellen. I don't want you to go! I'm gonna miss you so much!"

"I know! I'm gonna miss you, too!" I exclaimed.

Rachel looked at the floor. "Are we still friends?" she asked, a little uncertainly in her voice.

"You kidding? Of course! And we're not friends – we're best friends!"

Rachel beamed. "You're such the coolest!" she said, throwing her arm around me.

"Wait! I gotta do something," I said.

"What?"

I opened up my bag and pulled out my pen and diary and began a fresh page:

Thursday morning at school at lunchtime

Diary, it might interest you to know that Rachel and I have finally apologized and we're best friends again! Now I just gotta hear what Jessica, Lila, Kimberly and Mandy have to say to me.

With Love, Ellen

Rachel added: And if they aren't nice to her, they'll have to answer to me! LIJ (Little Inside Joke!)

Ciao, Rachel

The two of us went to the cafeteria with our lunches and sat down at the Unicorner, the lunch table reserved only for the club.

When everyone arrived, they looked surprised to see me sitting with Rachel.

"Ellen! What are you doing here? You aren't still mad at us, are you?" Kimberly asked.

Rachel nudged me to speak up. I cleared my throat.

"No. Not as much as I was, but I do have a few things I want to say to you guys."

Everyone sat down immediately.

I cleared my throat again and began our impromptu Unicorn meeting.

"Well, I'm sure you guys have heard from non-Unicorns about how mean, shallow, selfish and self-absorbed we are, right?"

Jessica nodded. "Yeah, but I don't think we are." She then looked around at the other members of the club, looking unsure. "Are we?"

I gulped.

"Yeah. I think we are, but I never thought about how it would affect one of us if someone else in the club treated us badly or whatever. I told you guys I was moving away, but it seems everyone is more interested in being president of the club. I mean, isn't our friendship more important than being president of the club?"

Mandy reached out to take my hand. "Ellen, we're sorry. We all felt guilty about the whole thing after you left. We weren't really thinking at all."

Lila reached to take my hand as well. "You're totally right, El. The presidency of the club is the least important thing right now. You're important to us, Ellen."

I beamed. "Really?" I asked, feeling a little flabbergasted.

Kimberly nodded. "Yeah. You are. Although, you can be a ditz sometimes. And you can be a little annoying, but we love you, believe it or not."

"What about the presidency? Who's gonna take care of it?" I asked.

Jessica shrugged. "We didn't decide anything yet. We figured there were more important things to worry about."

"Like what?" I asked, a little skeptically.

Jessica shrugged again. "You'll see," she answered matter-of-factly.

I looked to Rachel for conformation, but she didn't say anything. Something was up, but I decided not to question it.

"So, I guess this means we're cool then?" I asked.

Lila rolled her eyes. "No, Ellen…Of course we're cool!" she said, wrapping her arms around me.

The other girls followed suit.

We must have made a big spectacle that day in the cafeteria, with all those other kids looking at us, but we didn't care. We were all caught up in the moment with finally forgiving each other and being friends again.

The Unicorns were going to the local ice cream parlor at Sweet Valley Mall, but I couldn't go unfortunately. There was something I had to take care of at home.

"We'll save you a Brownie Explosion," Rachel joked.

We laughed.

"I'll see you guys later," I said before walking our separate ways.

When I finally made it home, I went through the back door of the house into the kitchen.

Mom and Sara were sitting in the kitchen around the kitchen table.

"Ellen, you're here early today," Mom said, a little surprisingly.

"Yeah. No Unicorn meeting or something?" Sara wanted to know.

"Nope, not today," I lied. "Mom, I need to talk to you," I added, looking directly at her importantly. "Alone," I said sternly, stressing the word. Sara was still sitting up, looking interested.

Mom nodded. "Okay. Sara, I'll talk to you later. Finish your homework upstairs."

Sara rolled her eyes, got up from her chair, picked up her stuff and went upstairs to her room.

I sat in Sara's chair, right next to Mom.

"Now, what's on your mind, dear?" Mom asked.

"I'm not so mad about moving away anymore," I told her.

"You want to leave? I thought you wanted to stay in Sweet Valley," Mom replied, looking confused.

"I do want to stay, but…I want to be mature about this. I'm ready to move on and explore new things. I understand that you weren't really happy here and I was being selfish. So I just want you to be happy."

Mom put her hand over mine. "Dear, I appreciate what you're doing, but you don't have to move away from here just to make me happy. I've been thinking about what you said the other day. I should have talked to you and the others about what was happening, but I was so unhappy, I wasn't even thinking straight. And for that, I'm sorry. You don't have to move if you don't want to. You can stay here in Sweet Valley with your father if you like. I only want you to be happy, so make the decision you think is right. Whatever you decide, will be fine with me. I'll still love you no matter what. Okay?"

I nodded. "Okay," I answered.

Mom kissed my cheek. "Good. Love you," she said.

I nodded. "Me, too," I answered. I got up from the table and went into my bedroom to do my homework.

But I couldn't really concentrate on it. Instead, I picked up my diary and started writing:

Thursday afternoon, after school

Diary, I have to now decide where I want to live. Stoneybrook or Sweet Valley? Sweet Valley or Stoneybrook? I don't know how to choose. This is so hard.

With Love, Ellen

I scribbled out a list of pros and cons:

Sweet Valley: Living with Dad in his apartment downtown; Lila, Rachel, Jessica, Kimberly, Mandy, and Kimberly; Being a Unicorn and president, cute boys (especially Bruce Patman), SVMS, ice cream parlor (Brownie Explosions!), Sweet Valley Mall (especially Valley Fashions), tank tops

Stoneybrook: Living with Mom, Sara and Mark in a house; unknown people, no Unicorns and no presidency of any club, no Bruce Patman, some school I've never even heard of, no hangouts with Brownie Explosions, drippy mall with no Valley Fashions,

No tank tops.

I looked over at my list a long time. After about nearly an hour, It was clearly obvious that Sweet Valley was going to be the winner, but for some reason, I had this nagging feeling not to choose it.

My gut was quaking. I had to listen to my gut.

I couldn't believe I was even going through with it; I was going to Stoneybrook.

Diary, I've made my decision. Are you ready? I'm moving to Stoneybrook with Mom, Sara and Mark. You may be wondering why I decided to move there after the way I was whining to you about not wanting to leave Sweet Valley.

Well, I remember what Dad told me: "But look at it as moving on and growing up. You'll be in a new place, in a new surrounding. You'll be around people you don't know and places you've never been to or even seen before. But look at it as a blessing in disguise. Everything happens for a reason. Perhaps you'll find something in the new place you're moving to that you didn't have here in Sweet Valley."

You know what that means? It basically means that I need to experience new things and meet new people. That way, I'll grow and become much more mature. I know Sweet Valley is my home, but I need to see the rest of the world out there, so therefore, I have to move. Like Dad said, there might be something waiting for me there. I also don't want to leave Mom. Mom is possibly the most awesome mother in the world. I don't know what I'd do without her or my siblings.

Plus, I don't think I think I could stay with Dad in his cramped apartment. His pad is cool, but I think it's too small for me to live in with him. I only hope I can start a new life as a gulp Connecticut girl!

With Love, Ellen