I just smiled at Pansy. My mouth went dry and I can't remember at what point I lost the capability of speech, but suddenly words didn't make much sense. The girls were talking, and I let it wash over me. Trying my best to keep my facial expression normal. I'd try keeping up with the conversation next. Baby steps.
I sat on the edge of the bed as far away from Amber (Amy?) as I could manage, but it was only a few inches at best. I could smell her perfume, flowery and girly, and then her skin, warm and soft, and then her blood. I was gripping the sheets for support. I hoped no one noticed. No one seemed interested in looking at me anyway. Ok, ok, I thought, I can get over this. The emptiness in my stomach was clawing at my throat. If I could just... lean a little closer...
"Um, Willow? It is Willow right?" I shot back to my original position. Oh God, I had gotten so close to Amber's neck, and Pansy had caught me being vampirish, or worse, just unexplainably creepy and weird. She didn't wait for me to answer "I was just wondering, if you knew anything about what Enoby's planning with Draco? Because, after all he is mine." Oh, ok, so that's why I was dragged here, info on Draco, and secondly, wow, possessive much?
"Um," I avoided her eye contact and laughed the smallest amount, "Nope, I, uh, haven't really got a clue. Sorry." Her smile vanished and she squinted at me. "Seriously, I don't. She never tells me anything. They're just going to Hogsmeade, to see a muggle band she really likes."
"Hmm" Pansy seemed to be appraising me. "Ok," She said after a scrutinizing moment. "Ok, then, I believe you." she turned to look at the other girls, scrutiny replaced by sad puppy eyes, "It's just so hard. I mean, everyone knows we like each other,"
"Oh we know,"
"Yeah, you two are so meant to be,"
"He's so in love with you." then everyone turned to look at me, I did not think it was meant to be. I never saw them together, except when Pansy pushed herself on him. Kinda like Enoby I had to admit. But I agreed anyway.
"Yeah, everyone knows it, even Enoby." Then I just sat there staring at the door to the girls dorms for ages. They completely ignored me. Which was fine.
Suddenly they got up, and all started moving towards the common room. I followed. They all sat down on their space. It wasn't really theirs, it's just where they sat, and no one would have been brave enough to sit there. They filled the couch and two chairs, Pansy got the honour of the plush chair next to the fire place. There was no where for me to sit. Pansy caught my eye, and gave me an annoyed "What?" look. I stayed standing near them, for a while, ready for the girls to move up on the roomy couch, to make a space for me.
"What are doing just staring at us?" Pansy said with venom. If Enoby were here, she would have flipped Pansy off, and not cared what she thought, or fought back and said something to her. But I was not as feisty Enoby, I was not as brash Pansy, I was me. So I scuttled away, to the library again,
"Weirdo," I heard one of the girls say as I left their space.
My cheeks, eyes, and nose where all red, I was sure of it. My eyes were watery, and my throat was catching, but I was NOT crying. I refused. These girls had never been my friends. And just because they pretended to be, for information, doesn't mean they have the power to make me upset. Besides hadn't I already figured that out? Didn't I know that already? Then why did I so desperately want them to accept me?
I was at my old place, learning more and more about the exciting life of Huge Hartman. Spoiler alert: It's not that exciting at all. I was just reading a passage about his own Kneazle, snowy-mc-fluffy-kins, when I heard another voice interrupting my wonderfully enlightening reading experience.
"Are you ok?"
I looked up. It was the tiniest person anyone has ever seen. She looked about twelve? and she was holding out a handkerchief, in her small hand for me. She was a Hufflepuff, go figure. "I heard you sniffing, I'm Nicola, is everything ok?" I took the handkerchief, and smiled as Nicola,
"Yeah don't worry, I'm fine." I dabbed my eyes, and gave it back, wanting to be alone soon. An Idea seemed to occur to her and eyes widened, giving her the appearance of a baby deer.
"Hang, my sister's a 7th year, I'll get her!" Before I could stop her and tell her that really it was alright, she was off.