Author's Note: Again, sorry for the late of update! Kind of busy here in work but I can still manage! Hehehe... So obviously, it was Nodame's point of view and I believe it was the longest chapter, 500+ words more than the usual. I was actually planning to cut this chapter in two but I can't think of a Chiaki's point of view in between and besides, I am excited to write this chapter. It was a little rush and grammar was still a problem but I hope I did portrayed Nodame's characterization and feeling. :)

Warning: Again, grammars and I'm looking for a beta-reader!

Disclaimer: You know the drill... ;)

PIERCE

I ate his prepared breakfast in silence, after all, who am I to talk to? He left me nineteen minutes ago, alone here in his apartment without any words for last night's deed.

It's terrible to feel pain and betrayal just after a night full of passion and intimacy. Was it really like that or just my own perspective ,because the truth is Sempai didn't feel anything closer to what I feel last night, he was only inebriated and not very much sober?

I can feel my eyes prickling, maybe a tear was about to fall. But if I let that happen, I will ruin Sempai's prepared breakfast. I am still half way from eating it all and I don't want to spoil it with my tears and make it taste horrible.

Choking back the sob that was about to escape, I concentrate myself to finish this food. No matter how much I am disappointed today, life is still about to go on, no matter how bitter the events can get. But I'm giving myself some benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just startled and surprised. Maybe if his mind will be cleared after some time, I can say that he didn't mean to react that way. Maybe, I hope.

The only thing I can do is hope.

I finished eating and do what he told me to do, I pick up the dishes and let it stay on the sink. After a while, I headed to the bathroom and clean myself.

The bath was relaxing and refreshing but the aches were still there. I can stand the physical pain from last night because that was the pain I don't regret having, the emotional pain were the ones I cannot bear.

Crying won't help with my situation now. If I cry, will it prevent Chiaki-sempai from running away earlier? Will it change the possibility that he might regret what had happened? No. I'm not a child anymore, not a child like everybody used to treat me. I will not cry for as long as I can hold it.

Yes, I wasted giving myself to someone I don't even know if have some loving emotion for me, but that someone is Chiaki Shinichi, the very person I care and truly love.

And that's why, I don't mind. But still, seeing him ignore what happened like that still broke my heart.

I step out of the bathroom and towel myself. Looking at the misted mirror, I can see all the marks that had left in my body because of last night's deed. I can call this love marks if only it was made out of love and not of lack of sobriety. At least for me, I do it for love.

I went to his room and found some of my clothes. I put on a moss green sweater and brown plaited skirt then let my dirty clothes in his wash bin. After slipping on my boots, I dialed Lucca's number.

"Nodame! You're late!" that's the first words he said just after he pick up the phone.

"Nodame knows, Lucca…" I said.

I promised Lucca that I will meet him early in the morning to tell him what had happened at my recital since he can't come that night.

"Nodame… Are you upset?" he asked with a tone of worry.

I think I let my guard down because he heard the strain in my voice.

"No... Nodame is fine, Lucca…" I said while trying to smile.

"Hmmm… Okay then! So… Are we going to meet up?" He said and this time, I truly smile.

"Of course! Are you in the Conservatoire? Nodame's going to meet you there…" I suggested. I can hear the rustle in the background like he was in some sort of busy place and not in the University.

"Uh… No. I'm in some café near Conservatoire. My grandfather owns the place and I kind of helping here today… So if you don't mind, can we just meet here? I can give you some double chocolate cake…." He said almost faltering.

I chuckled. At least he can cheer me up with his quirkiness and double chocolate cake.

"Yes! Nodame will very much come to meet you there!" I said without much working hard to be happy.

"Alright! Let's meet here! It's the blue and black café named Simplicité. Just two blocks from the University. Got it?"

"Oui." I answered. "Nodame will be going now. See you!" And then, after I heard him say "okay", I hung up.

I have to go now and maybe for a while, let my thoughts drift to other things other than what happened to me and to him.

Walking was a hard work today. My legs were literally shaking and my body really ached. I am sore all over and I can't help to get bitter. As I know, the person that made you this ache should be the person soothing you. I thought my first time will be like that but it turned out to be far for what I am expecting.

"Nodame!" a voice called me and when I look up, I saw Lucca.

"God Nodame, you're awfully slow today!" he commented as he dragged me towards the café.

We make our way to the back door and the kitchen welcomed me. The aroma of different types of coffee and pastries invaded my nostrils and literally drool.

I heard Lucca chuckled beside me and wake me up from my trance then felt a little embarrassed.

"Hahaha! Just turn on that corner and take a seat. I'll be right back with green tea frappe and double chocolate cake okay?" he said.

I grinned at the generosity. He pushed me gently so I can go to the hallway and leave him. I obliged.

I can almost hear the chattering of the customers in the café at the end of the wall and I was about to turn left when I saw a familiar face.

Kuroki-kun?

And the person across from him, it was… he was….

Never in a million years I won't recognize that back and stance.

"Chiaki-sempai…" I hear myself whisper.

"... Unless that happening wasn't in your liking…" Kuroki-kun said. I can hear them and he seemed upset, I never saw him like that.

"It is Kuroki. What happened was never to my liking." Chiaki-sempai said. What are they talking about? I know eavesdropping is impolite but I can't help to wonder what they are talking about.

"Then why did you do it in the first place?" Kuroki-kun replied. Why are they talking? What are they talking about?

"It was an accident. Not really intentional." Chiaki-sempai said. Kuroki-kun's expression was nowhere pleased. He seemed really furious. Wait, they sounded like they are talking about…

"Chiaki-ku—"

"Kuroki, You know what kind of relationship I have with Nodame right?"

They are talking about me? About what had happened? Wait, what? Not to his liking? An accident? Not intentional?

I suddenly slammed my back onto the wall backing up. I feel my body getting numb and feeling cold. I can't stop my eyes from widening. My chest is pounding loudly in my ribs. I can't absorb it all in.

"I don't mind as long as it didn't interrupt my career. But what had happened will give Nodame mixed signal, Kuroki. I don't want that to happen because it might hurt her, I am not capable of doing things she wanted to happen between us because I know and you know that I am not sure if I love her, if I ever have romantic feelings for her."

That's his voice. It came from Chiaki-sempai. His words involved my name and the phrase saying, I am not sure if I love her, if I ever have romantic feelings for her.

It repeated in my mind over and over and over again until it found my way to my heart to kill it. It felt like a spear pierce me in the chest totally damaging my heart. It ripped in my tissues and every blood vessel.

It felt like dying.

It hurts.

He regretted it with all his heart. He regretted what happened. He regretted it doing with me. He didn't want me, or any of me. I'm just a nuisance, to his career, to his everything!

I feel my knees give up and I slump on the marbled floor. I can't hear anything except for the thumping of my heart. I covered my ears with my hands. Stop it. I want it to stop. The pounding was so loud. I can't stop it!

"Oi Nodame, I said get some seat inside, not here!" somehow, a voice manages to get through the poundings I can hear.

I look up only to see Lucca. His eyes suddenly widened when he landed his gaze to my face.

"Nodame… What's wrong?"

He said as he knelt beside me and put the frappe and a slice of cake that I don't immediately caught a sight of, down on the floor.

I continued to gape at him until his face etched a very worried expression.

"Nodame…" I barely heard him say, and like an instinct, he crawled across me and takes a look on the corner.

"Chiaki-kun…" I heard him say.

"Maybe I should explain everything to her soon, no matter how cruel it will sound…"

Again, we heard Chiaki-sempai's words and just like that, I feel hot tears cascading my cheek. I am crying and despite of what I said earlier, I still cried.

The rest of their conversation was not been heard as the people in the kitchen began to work loudly.

I avoided Lucca's gaze and I can here the crackling of his fists.

"What is cruel Nodame?" he asks but I didn't answer. I can't answer, I'm too busy silencing my sobs.

He is now gritting his teeth and I panicked when he opened his mouth. I know he was about to shout and call Sempai.

"Lucca…" I said softly but immediately to stop him. He looked at me with the eyes of a child. I know, he was hurting that I'm hurt. I can feel it.

I shook my head.

"No…" I whisper.

He was sympathetic. I can feel his remorse and he was sad. Nonetheless, he obeyed me.

I gave him a small smile and I know I look stupid, smiling despite the tears falling from my eyes.

"Please keep this between the two of us…" I said.

"But—"

I didn't let him finish. "No. Someday, Nodame will explain this to you, but for now, please… Just let things be…"

He nodded and stood up giving me a hand. I accept it and help myself standing up. I gave him a small smile then wipe the tears from my face.

"Nodame have to go, Lucca. Sorry because Nodame didn't have the chance to eat your cake but Nodame have to go." I said.

He lowered his head and hides his eyes behind his golden locks then nodded.

"Thank you…" I murmured and without looking back, went my way.

The wind rustled around me and I can't pay attention to anyone or anybody. I'm hurt.

I just have my heart broken and I don't know if I can fix it.

I felt those hot tears again.

It hurts. So much.

Again, it was a little rush... So if ever there will be mistakes that will be pointed out, please tell me by leaving a review... I appreciate it! Special thanks for the reviewers! I hope you can have an account so I can thank you enough by leaving a message... :)