I woke up to some distance voices. When my head started to lose the usual just-woke-up thickness

I could hear it was voices I recognized. It was my dad and Dr. Cullen. I tried to lift my lids and and shook the morning daze off so I could hear what they said but when I moved they quietened.

"Bella honey?" It was my dad. He sounded really worried. Well he had all reason to be. I had probably scared him pretty bad. And for some reason I just wanted to cry on him. My poor silly dad who had to put up with me. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. "Dad, I'm sorry." He smiled sadly at me and patted my cheek. "Don't be honey, but don't do it again okay?" He looked a shade paler as he said this likely remembering. God I was such an idiot. Scare him like that, I can't believe I didn't even think about what consequences it would've been if I had just killed myself like that.

Charlie had always been kind and loving to me. A really great dad and yet I was ready to just leave him for a stupid film...I felt the tears com up and spill over. Charlie looked a little scared, he always got scared when I cried. So I smiled at him through my tears. "I'm fine dad, and I wont do it again I promise." He swallowed and nodded. I thought I saw a little tear sneak up in his right eye. Charlie was never good at showing feelings so if he now seemed a little relieved and a little afraid, he was probably probably relieved beyond words and completely terrified. "You want something to eat? I've brought some sandwiches." "chicken and feta?" He nodded and smiled. He rose from his seat to get them and left the room. Dr. Cullen was still in the room. He seemed to be checking some papers.

"Dr. Cullen?" He turned to look at me. "Yes Bella?" He walked forward to stop by my med and looked down on me. "When will that psychiatrist come?" just the thought of talking to a psychiatrist made my uneasy and I wanted to know when this dreaded meeting will be. " You will meet her this afternoon actually, she's very good i've heard." He said with a smile. Probably trying to ease me. But it didn't work. "Is it really necessary for me to talk to her?" I tried to plead with my eyes that he would cancel the meeting but he wasn't having any of that. "Yes Bella its highly necessary you need to talk to a professional so you can get better and start living the happy life you deserve." He really cared about me I knew that but sometimes it would've been nice if he would just leave me be. I looked over to Edward and he was still sleeping. They seemed to have given him a heavier doze of that sleeping helper. When I looked back up at Dr. Cullen he was looking over to Edwards bed too.

"Are you worried about him?" I asked carefully. The doctor really seemed worried about his son, which was completely understandable of course. He turned back his gaze to me and sighed. "Yes I'm very worried. I didn't know he was capable of doing something like this. I thought he knew better than do drive drunk... And it seemed like he had been in a fight too..." He shook his head.

"I thought I knew him better but apparently not." I snorted, I could bet Charlie felt the same way. I told him so and he smiled at that. "Yeah teenagers have a tendency to keep to themselves."

Then Charlie cam in and we had our Sandwiches, chatting carefully about things that was non related to my injury. But I could tell that there were somethings that Charlie wanted to know. Probably why... God I wished that I would never leave this hospital. Because when I did I needed to get back to school and everyone, and I really didn't want that. "Dad?" Charlie looked up at me with a large bite of the sandwich in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. "Yes honey?" I wasn't sure if I really wanted to know but it was just to ask. "Uh...you know, how many knows about... you know knows what I did?" I looked up at him when he didn't answer. He had a crease between his eyes like as if he was remembering something bad. "Dad?" He looked up and smiled. "Don't Worry Bells its just me, Jake thinks you're sick and so does your school." Shit it would've been better if Jake already knew so I didn't have to tell him. But I was glad that no one on the school knew. "I figured you wanted to tell him yourself, I could get him over today if you want to?" Charlie smiled, thinking that he was doing me favor with not telling him... Well it wasn't his fault I deserved to tell Jacob. He would get furious for what I did, and sad... "No thanks dad I think I want to keep to one visitor today. But maybe tomorrow?" Charlie promised that he would tell Jake to visit me tomorrow. We continued to talk about easy things until it was time for him leave. And when I found about what the clock was I realized it wasn't long until I had to meet my psychiatrist...

I felt rather stiff but when I tried to stretch my arms it hurt and my right wrist had a blood drip stuck to it. "Hey." I looked to edward and he was looking at me. "You shouldn't pull on those you know. I think the nurses will get angry with you if do." I smiled at him. So he had finally woken up then. "Slept well?" I asked and he returned my smile. "Sure but i've been awake for a while now you know... Your dad came to visit you?" "Yeah he had made me some sandwiches." He was looking rather glum, I lifted my lifted my eyebrows and he seemed to understand what I meant. "Its just you know, you and your dad seem pretty close?" I nodded and indicated for him to continue. Because that wasn't an answer. "Well I just wish I was closer to my parents..." Wasn't he and Dr. Cullen close? The Doc seemed like a great dad to me and Edward doesn't seem to be that bad of a son... "You aren't close?" Dr. Cullen seemed to care about him a lot... The way he looked at him was always full of love and concern. "Not really, I'm almost jealous of you since the two of you seem to get along pretty good." And now I felt guilty again like I was stealing his father. "Well he has known about my... situation for a while. He has been as a mentor for me I guess." I bit my lip and glanced worriedly at him, hoping he wasn't angry at me. But he was smiling instead. "Don't worry Bella, I just wish he would listen to me as he do to you." That glum expression from before returned and he started to pick on his nails. "You know in a weird way I wish I was you." His words hurt but I could see what he meant. He wouldn't want to be the part of me that was the freak but he wishes that he would have the same relationship with Dr. Cullen that I have. "Yeah..." My hurt was seeping through but he didn't seem to notice. It was quiet for a long time after that. Both of us being in our heads. I was thinking about how I was lucky in someways. Sure I barley had any friends and I was depressed but I had a best friend and a dad who loved me. I wasn't starving and I had pretty good grades. Sure my life was far from perfect but who's was? Rosalie and her skanks had probably their own problems just like edward had his. For one I don't think they had any friends. I mean the three of them wasn't even friends for real. They hadn't a jacob... And they probably hadn't a brain either. And thinking of jacob made me smile. He was my one true friend. He would always be there for me. This suicide had made me realize how important Jake and Charlie was. Truly if it wasn't for them I wouldn't even try to put up with all the shit that I was forced into. Without them there really wasn't a point to breathing. And I really wanted to call Jake, tell him how much he meant to me.

"Edward do you have a phone?" He turned his head and shrugged. "Not anymore, Carlisle took both the car and the phone as a punishment for my crashing. Though there wasn't much left of the car." I figured "Carlisle" was Dr. Cullen. Well I guess I would just have to wait for tomorrow to go all emotional on him. "You want to call your dad?" Edward was looking at me with a sympathetic expression. Did he think I was such a sucker that I couldn't even live a few hours without my dad? I snorted because I loved Charlie but I was turning 18 in a few months. "No I wanted to call my friend Jacob." He looked surprised by that. Likely not expecting me to have any friends. I rolled my eyes at him. "Yes I have a friend edward." I smiled at him. And now it was his turn to roll his eyes but he returned the smile. "Yeah okay I'm sorry, does he go to our school?" I almost laughed when he said it because no one on our school would befriend me if they really didn't have to. "No have you ever seen me talking to anyone in school?" He looked kind off guilty again an shook his head as much as that plastic thing would allow him. Well it was nice to know that I could make him feel guilty too. "No he's from the rezz." He looked like he was about to say something but a nurse and and an unknown woman entered the room. "Miss. Swan this is your psychiatrist and since you two need privacy were going to move you to a more private room." I nodded and looked over at edward who looked a little worried and mouthed 'good luck' to me and I smiled. The bed had wheels so she rolled me out of the room with bed and all. We finally stopped in an empty room and the nurse checked me and gave me some more painkillers and then she left me with the woman. I swallowed and looked up at her. She was looking at me, more inspecting me actually. "So Miss. Swan, what's your first name?" I answered her quietly and while she asked me the basics I was looking at my hands the whole time. "So...Isabella." "Call me Bella." I said instinctively. She gave me a look that clearly said don't interrupt me again. "Bella, do you know why you're here with me?" Yes of course I knew that was she stupid? "Yes..." "It's because you need help. And I'm going to be that help for you. I'm here for you." Yeah bla...bla...bla... "So Is there anything you want to talk about before we start?" I shook my head, her little speeches was starting to get seriously annoying and i'd just been here for seven minutes... "Okay then Bella why don't you tell me something about yourself? What you like to do What you don't like do you favorite things and such stuff." I would be stuck here for quite the while and she wasn't going to stop talking so maybe I should answer her...

"Well I really don't like talking to you..." The smile I gave her didn't get returned, but she didn't looked angry either... "Well Bella why is that? Do I make you uncomfortable? Or is the questions you're afraid of? Or the answers?" I almost rolled my eyes. What did she think? That I was some nutcase who was in serious need of her help? She had seen way to many movies...

"Yes I would rather just stay in my bed than talk to you because I know it wont change anything and it's just a waste of both of our times." She still didn't look angry...She was tough but I was tougher so it would be she who would end up running out of here, not me. "Well Bella that depends...If you want me me help you I can, but if you refuse my help I cannot force it upon you."

She says : Well Bella a whole lot... Maybe its a psychiatrist thing to say well all the time.

"Wait does that mean I don't have to be here?" I probably looked a little to happy by her sour look, but if I could, I would walk out her in a heart beat. I wanted to get back to my department with my neighbor... "Well Bella you have to for 4 sessions then you wont have to ever again if you dn't want to... And you have to come to these 4 sessions because they're already paid." What when did charlie do that? Does he know that I'm seeing a psychiatrist? "Eh... Who's paying?" Who ever it was that paid this is going to get their money back... "Dr. Cullen of course he such a nice man. I can't believe that he just pays four sessions for a patient..." She looked deep in thought and when she had talked about the doc she had a tiny smile on her face and I was quite positive she had a little crush on the Doc. I mean I could see where she comes from, I mean he sure is good looking and very nice...(Except to Edward...) Well he wasn't mean either but he didn't seem to really show Edward the attention he needs. I mean even though he's soon 18 years old, you always want someone to be there. Like when you're a kid. "Bella? Bella are you listening to me?" I looked up and she was sighing and shaking her head. Well it wasn't my fault that my mind wandered away to better things... "Bella, we are here to talk and that's exactly what we're going to do now okay? So where were we before we started talking about you not being here. Yes that's right! So Bella why do you think this is so unnecessary? Is it because you already have decided not to cooperate? Because if you have this is fruitless but if thats not what's bothering you then what is it? You know I'm here for you, only you. You can say what ever you want to me I'm going to help you 2 hours a week in a month now and I hope that you'll feel satisfied when you leave this room because that is what this is about! You, feeling better so you can continue with you life happy and secure..." Well I'm not gonna force you listen to the rest. She continued like this for the rest of the "session" and when I finally came out of there they had given edward something to make him sleep so we couldn't talk anymore. I had wanted to tell him about my psychiatrist, we would've laughed a little and I could get rid of the tension I got from talking to that idiot for 2 hours. Because I did got tense. Especially when she asked something or assumed something that was spot on. But instead I asked for a shot of sleeping aswell and hit the pillows. I would talk to him tomorrow. And I would meet jake tomorrow. Could it be better? Well of course it could duh... But for being me it was very good. I felt all bubbly in my stomach and light. I guess I was just excited to meet Jake... And to talk some more to edward. And thinking of edward as my friend made me smile and the bubbles just bubble a little more.