Chapter 4: Never Grow Up
Peter ran from the school. When the bell rang, Wendy broke away and left for class. She never even said a word. Or rather, he had never said a word, and he was kicking himself for it.
Peter liked to run, but in this particular instance it wasn't doing him much good. When he was younger, he believed he could run from anything, pirates, monsters, even his parents. He felt so strong when he ran, he wondered if he could lift off the ground and fly. One day, he finally did. But flying was precisely Peter Pan's problem, and he wasn't about to make it worse.
He ripped off his tie and threw it on the ground as he ran past people in the street. If his parents found out he skipped school, they would lose their minds. Due to Peter's troublesome lack of attention, he had never done well in school. This, added to his new disregard for the coming of his future, distressed his poor parents. Peter loved them, he really did. The Pan's were kind people, but they respected the ways of society and expected their son to as well. Peter Pan was no ordinary boy, and his parent's worst fear was London's discovery of this.
Peter turned a corner into an empty alleyway and stopped to catch his breath. While running didn't seem to be putting Peter's fear any further away, it did put school rather far. School was where she was. Wendy. Peter's first indication of his coming into manhood was his absurd obsession with this girl. Until then, he played games with Will, he flew far, far away, and he could conquer anything. Then, one day, there she was. She was always there, he supposed, but he never saw her; he had bigger things on his mind than some schoolgirl. Then, suddenly, she was all he could see. The day he noticed the specks of sunlight in the strands of her hair was the day everything changed. Fear crept into Peter Pan's mind. Doubt. Anticipation of the future. Neverland threatened to slip away.
He walked the rest of the way to his spot, slipped inside Big Ben and traveled all the way to the top. He loved this iconic clock; it was tall enough to see all of London. He squeezed out onto the ledge and sat down. This was Peter's favorite perspective, and it was where he did his best thinking. He often worried if this would be the highest he could get in the future. If he became a man, would this be all there is?
Wendy Darling was both the problem and the solution in Peter's mind. Originally, she scared Peter to death. She ruined everything, he thought. The days of his youth were over, and Wendy would suck all the happiness from his life. But one day Peter had an epiphany of sorts; what if Wendy Darling could fly too? What if he could actually teach her?
"Never grow up." Peter muttered as he looked out over the city. That was his mantra, ever since he realized what was slipping away as he grew into an adult. Nothing is worth losing Neverland. Nothing is worth losing his youth.
"Wendy." Peter sighed and leaned back. It was a risky thought, involving Wendy in his secret, but he always knew that. He tried to test the waters with some of the girls who fancied him at school. Simply suggesting the idea of remaining children forever granted him the reputation of a madman. Each girl found him amusing, and then bothersome. Women were a complete mystery. They desired elegant clothes and formal conversation. As far as Peter Pan could tell, girls had no sense of adventure, nor any dreams of flight. As much as he desperately craved to speak to Wendy, he dreaded trying to share that part of himself that no one knew. One thing was definitive. Before he shared "who is Peter Pan?" he had to figure out, "who is Wendy Darling?"