My eyes suddenly flashed open, shocked out of sleep, when the door swung open and two people crashed inside.
I quite literally thought the place was being robbed, wincing as the door was promptly banged shut and loud shuffling went on. I heard wet smacking sounds—a whole lot of wet smacking sounds—and things were being knocked over and bumped. There was a loud bump, like somebody had rammed into the wall, and I hesitantly peered over the couch as a light flickered on.
Then I promptly fell back down.
Because there, in flesh and blood, was Agnus, backed up against the wall by my own fucking brother.
Kissing.
Making out.
Snogging.
Smoochin it up.
Swapping saliva—whatever the hell you wanna call it, they were doing it.
Credo groaned loudly causing me to gag in the back of my throat. At the moment the most intelligent thought I could put together was: dfuh9y9;;dj.
More shuffling went on and I could only guess they were heading to the—another gag—bedroom. Christ. I could also faintly hear fabric ruffling and I swear on everything that is holy I was about ready to have a full blown panic attack.
I decided to cut my losses and sneak the fuck out of there before I became traumatized for life. I snatched my bag from under the coffee table and quietly started tiptoeing towards the front door, tensing when I heard Agnus cry my brother's name like a goddamn porn star. My shoulder tensed and nearly froze up as I twisted the locks as slowly and carefully as I could, soundlessly throwing the door open and very slowly inching it closed.
And as I raced down the now quiet hallway, I tried to think of things to block out the mental image I just received. Bunnies. Spongebob. Uh…biographies. Mansions. Mansions…have walls.
CREDO AND AGNUS WERE RUTTING UP AGAINST A WALL, PRACTICALLY PURE UNADULTRURATED FROTTAGE!
I pinched my arm, cursing a string of expletives before throwing my car door open.
I think my brain may be exploding into a puddle of brain stew.
Somehow I'd managed to end up at my friend Trish's apartment, twitching every so often from the trauma I'd endured. My brain was having a free for all at the moment, flashing crude pictures of…of…
I clutched my stomach uneasily.
I stood in front of the slightly scuffed door, raising my hand to knock and have Trish and her best friend Kyrie comfort me like the mother's of the group they were.
That's when I heard something…odd. It sounded like a groan, almost, like Trish had stubbed her toe. But after the initial groan, a series of expletives followed and more crude grunting.
Oh no.
"Ahhh…Kyrie."
I fled as fast as my feet possibly could.