Harry stormed into the Gryffindor Common Room completely pissed. The room was mostly empty, the majority of the students already down at dinner or headed there, but Hermione and Ginny were standing by the couch in front of the massive fireplace. Harry turned towards them.
"Can you believe that bastard? After the cauldrons he made me scrub every desktop until they were freaking polished. By the time I was done the damn things looked brand new and he didn't even thank me, he just grunted and dismissed me! I spent nearly two hours cleaning those desks and all I get for my work is a fucking grunt," The Wizarding Savior shouted angrily. He threw himself into one of the armchairs, glancing at his crotch to be sure his erection was gone, and then pinching the bridge of his nose.
Snape had done more than grunt when Harry had finished. He'd come up behind Harry and leaned over his shoulder to study the last tabletop. His fingers had run over the desk in slick circles, and then his fingers had grasped Harry's smaller hand and dragged it across the surface. Harry had been confused at first (and consumed by desire, though he'd hidden it well), but then he'd felt the rough edge of a stain that was more stubborn than elbow grease could get out. That was when the Potions Master had grunted, told Harry that it would suffice, and dismissed him without looking back as he returned to his own desk. Harry had been angry, but those few moments when Snape had been pressed against him, studying the student-desk, had set Harry's blood aflame, and he'd been anxious to leave and hide his body's reaction.
The Boy Who Lived looked up to see his girlfriend and best friend still standing over him. He frowned. They looked as serious as the grave, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. It suddenly occurred to him that he should've listened harder when Ginny had tried to talk to him earlier. Sitting up straighter, Harry leaned over his knees to stare at them.
"What's happened? What's wrong?"
Ginny sighed and looked away from Harry's searching gaze. "We need to talk, Harry," She murmured. "Hermione and I have been talking, and…I know what's had you so distracted lately."
Harry pushed himself to his feet, looking past his girlfriend to stare in disbelief at his friend. "You told her?!"
Hermione raised her hands in mock surrender. "Ginny came to me, Harry, with her suspicions. I only confirmed what she already knew, and I never told her who has you so distracted."
Harry looked back at Ginny, reaching for her only to have her shy away from his touch. "Ginny, I'm sorry…I never meant-" He broke off and squared his shoulders. "It doesn't matter, Gin. Yes, I've been distracted lately because my thoughts were-were consumed by someone else, but it doesn't matter because I chose you. I'm choosing to stay with you, to have our love and our future, nevermind where my thoughts have strayed."
"But how long will it last, Harry?!" The red-head demanded, turning back to him. Tears coursed over her porcelain cheeks unchecked and it hurt Harry's heart to see her so upset. "How long will I have to wonder about who you're smiling for, or who you're thinking of? What if it never stops? What if, the first time we make love, you're thinking of someone else? I can't spend the rest of my life wondering if my boyfriend, my husband-to-be, is thinking of other men just so he can get it up long enough to satisfy me in our marriage bed!"
Harry paled. "Other- Gin, I haven't- I don't-"
"You have!" She screamed. "I'm not an idiot, Harry, I've been watching you as much as you've been ignoring me. I see the way you look at the boys in our year. You're smitten, and trying to cover it by being attracted to anyone who isn't the object of your affections. It wasn't a hard leap from there to realize that, not only are you smitten, but that you've become aware of your sexuality because of it. Maybe you did...want me…at some point, but not anymore, and I just can't be with someone who is using me as second best."
"Gin, I'm not…" He trailed off, looking away. She was right, whether he liked it or not. It had never occurred to him that that was what he was doing, but she was exactly right. He hadn't decided to stay because he loved her, he'd decided to stay because she could give him the future he'd dreamed of and Snape couldn't -wouldn't- do that. "Ginny, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen, I swear." He sat down and buried his face in his hands as the weight of what was happening sunk in. His own tears came now as he realized he would never get his family.
"Oh, Harry."
The Seventh Year looked up as his hands were gently pulled from his face. Ginny was kneeling in front of him, holding his hands in his lap. She had stopped crying and was looking at him with sympathy.
"This isn't your fault, Harry," She murmured. "I've had my suspicions about this for a few weeks, and I've done blaming you or myself. This wasn't anyone's fault. Your sexuality was stunted, is all. You were forced to fight a war, you didn't have time to explore real attraction. It's okay that, now that you've had time to relax and be a normal teenager, it's all snuck up on you. I think, perhaps, that sometimes that's what happens. Sometimes your sexuality just sneaks up on you."
Harry couldn't quite comprehend how the yelling and crying from before had just suddenly become this understanding. "But then…you're not angry?" He asked carefully.
The younger witch shook her head. "No, Harry, I'm not. I'm upset, and I'm sad, but I'm not angry. You can't help the way you feel about whoever-it-is any more than I can help the way I feel about you. I wish things were different, but since they aren't, we must simply KBO." Harry frowned in confusion and the girl gave a watery chuckle. "Keep Buggering On."
Harry couldn't help a small smile as he leaned over and pulled the smaller body into a hug. "I really do love you, y'know," He murmured in her ear. "I will regret every day for the rest of my life that I couldn't make this work between us."
Ginny shook her head again. "No, you won't, and that's okay, too. We can't live with regret, Harry. Someday you'll find the perfect bloke, even if it's not the one you want right now, and then you'll be glad that this didn't work, because you'll have found real happiness. And the same will happen to me. For now, we should head down to dinner."
Harry nodded and opened his eyes to see Hermione standing aside with her arms wrapped around herself, looking self-conscious. He pulled away from his now ex-girlfriend. With a smile, he placed a small kiss on her forehead.
"You go ahead, Ginny. I need to talk to Hermione for a minute. I'll see you down there?"
The girl nodded, brushing away the last of her tears and returning his smile sadly. "You bet, Harry." She stood up and left the common room with a last, grateful look at Hermione.
When she was gone, Harry stood stoically from his chair.
"Hermione-"
"Harry, I'm sorry. She came to me, and I just couldn't watch her suffer," Hermione told him pleadingly.
Harry moved towards his friend with slow deliberate steps, and she backed away uncertainly.
"Please, Harry, just say something. Shout at me if you must," Hermione said, her voice cracking with emotion. "I did what I thought was best, I really did. I couldn't just watch her torture herself. She thought she'd done something wrong. What was I supposed to do?"
The Wizarding Saviors long stride covered the distance between them faster than she could step backward, and when he was close enough he pulled her into a strong hug, holding her head to his chest. She froze against him, her breath coming in shallow gasps as she tried to hold back her tears. Harry smoothed a hand over her hair.
"Thank you, Hermione," He whispered against her bushy hair. "And I'm sorry. I should never have forced you to keep my secrets for me."
The young woman slumped against him. "Thank you."
Harry gave a small sigh. "And I'm also sorry for being wrong about which Weasley you were in love with."
Hermione gasped and pulled away from him sharply. "Harry, you can't-"
"I won't say anything," He assured his friend, pulling her back into the hug. "I'm just sorry I was so wrapped up in my own turmoil to ignore the turmoil you were in."
"You're only human," Hermione mumbled against his chest. She sighed as well. "We make quite a pair, don't we? Both in love with someone we can't have. Ginny isn't gay, and, whether or not Snape is I have no idea, but…" She trailed off.
"But even if he is, he would never look at me twice except with disgust," Harry finished for her. "Yes, we do make quite a pair. However, we will have all Holiday to wallow in our self-pity. In fact," He pushed her away gently by her shoulders. "Hermione Granger, I invite you to wallow with me in the pit of despair known as a chocolate overload this Christmas. We can spend the Holiday here in the common room and do our homework while Dobby brings us all the ice cream and butterbeers we can want. I happen to have a mountainous pile of chocolate from the last trip to Hogsmeade, and I think together we could make quite a dent in it."
Hermione grinned at him. "You have yourself a date, Mister Potter." She swiped her fingers over his cheeks, wiping away his tear tracks. "For now, we should go to dinner."
Harry nodded and together the two Gryffindor Seventh Years made their way out of the common room and towards the Great Hall. Despite having Hermione as a source of support, Harry felt his shoulders slump further with each floor. No matter how glad he was to have his best friend at his side, he still felt horrible for what he'd forced Ginny to do (dump him, rather being a man and coming clean with her from the start), and he was still heartbroken over the loss of his dreams. By the time he and Hermione walked into the Great Hall, Harry looked as appropriately beaten down as someone who'd just been dumped should, and he couldn't bring himself to sit with Ron and Ginny. Hermione led him to the end of the table nearer to the Staff Table, and there they sat in their own little heartbroken bubble.