PokeMon. That was what Moebius wanted. He wanted to sit down in front of that T.V. and rot his brains out on fictional turn based creatures. No, he didn't want to, he needed to. It was now imperative to his survival that he watch this cartoon. Without the anime he would surely shrivel up and die a most horrible painful death surrounded by his own fluids. Without Ash and the gang he would cease all necessary functions, his head would collapse in upon its self with the sheer weight of hid nervous sporadic head itching he was over come by. PokeMon was not on the T.V., it was surely the end for him, he would die in this terrible painful way. Good bye sweet world, the fruits of living were no longer granted to him. He would be dead soon, all was lost, the world had no hope now.

Just then the cheerful sound of the oven timer went off, echoing through out the sarafan keep. "Oooo! The muffins are ready!" Moebius squealed as he hurried across the hall to remove them from the oven. He pulled them out cheerfully, oblivious to the evil cackle that rang across dimensions. The sound of it chilled the Elder to the bones.

Kain was walking along his merry little path of vehemence quit quickly. Even faster then he thought he would. It was as if there was nothing holding him up, nothing evil, sinister, and manipulative blocking his way forward. There just weren't enough obstacles! This was suspicious, he had the feeling that this quest should have been much harder, his enemies should not have been so easy to pick out from his allies. What was wrong though? What was it that was making his story not as deep...?

Stacy had surrounded herself with all the geeks she could muster. There were not only computer nerds on stand by in case she should need help of any sort, but there were geeks so obsessed with Legacy of Kain that they knew the exact polygon count of at least every major character in the series (not to mention they could program the character flawlessly in any one of their incarnations). She needed them in order to complete the task she had given her life to- ruining the elder god.

"Hey Stacy, are you sure this is legal?" asked one of the nerds.

"That's Ms. Anderson to you and you need not concern yourself with such matters, just keep programing Blood Omen and all will be well."

"But isn't it your ultimate goal to punish the elder god?" another nerd chimed in. This one was less knowledgeable in the way of Legacy of Kain then most of them were. In fact, the only reason Stacy kept him on the team was because of his formidable computer prowess. "Why should you even make the Blood Omen game? The Elder God isn't even in it!" the room fell deadly silent. Although there were indeed Legacy of Kain geeks present, there were none as devoted as Stacy.

"Have you never played the series, my dear boy?" Stacy spoke down to the young lad as though she were years his superior. She wasn't, these were all her piers.

"I've played some but I haven't beat Soul Reaver yet so-"

"YOU ARE BANISHED TO THE SMELLY COUCH FOR ALL ETERNITY!" Stacy screamed in a terrible rage.

"But...that's the stinky sofa...I'll never survive the stench of it!"

"YOU ARE BANISHED! BANISHED UNTIL RAZIEL IS A LIEUTENANT AGAIN!"

"But...that'll never happen I-"

"BANISHED! BANISHED I SAY! CRABBE! GOYLE! TAKE THIS MONSTROSITY AWAY FROM ME!"

"Wha...? But they're fic-" and he was dragged away by two very large, very real people. Stacy watched and let loose a peal of manic laughter.

Kain heard the evil giggle ringing through out the lands. He thought it would have been better if he ignored it, but somehow he knew he couldn't.

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Turn Based Tragedy: That was that chapter! Hope you didn't find it to unbearably idiotic!

Raziel: Are we just going to ignore the fact that Kain was molested by Moebius in the last chapter?

Turn Based Tragedy: I sent him to a support group, he'll be fine.

Raziel: Why am I ever the only one concerned?