Chapter Four:
The Schism

Zuko couldn't stand it. He couldn't stand… not being able to stand. It just wasn't in his psyche to stay down, even if it was good for him. It wasn't long after the Avatar and his friends had left him to his own devices that Zuko had swung his legs onto the side of the bed again. On his bedside, the cane felt like it was mocking him.

He started with putting all his weight on his right leg, then slowly lowered his left, the stiffness in his ankle practically screaming at him that this was not a good idea. Then, as is she had a sixth sense for knowing when Zuko was about to do something idiotic, Song popped her head through the curtain.

"I want to go outside." He said. Leaning heavily on the cot and looking like he was about to topple over, Zuko was in no position to be giving orders, but the girl seemed to understand anyway. She hooked his arm around her shoulder and helped him hobble outside without a word.

The white curtain had been hiding just how much pain was surrounding him. It was with wide eyes that he took in the sight of beds full of the injured, their skin covered in red burns and white bandages. Along the walls sat friends and families, the provided seating had long since run out, all silent and morose.

She caught him staring. "The war's been hard for us here. Especially so close to the front lines."

As they made it out of the doorway, Zuko watched a plume of black smoke snake across the sky. Its source wasn't too far away.

Zuko knew that war had a price. They'd drilled that into his head back at the palace. But they'd also drilled through his head that the war was one of glory, a way of spreading the Fire Nation's light with the world.

Even after three years at sea, Zuko had never been so close to the war. With casualties at his back and battlefield smoke stinging his eyes, those earlier words felt null.

They sat along the porch. Song must have mistaken his silence for something else, because he caught her staring at his scar with something mournful in her eyes.

"Your friends wouldn't tell me what happened to you, but I know it was the Fire Nation. It's ok. I understand. We've all been through it." She pulled up her pants leg to show him the jagged burns that wrapped around her calf.

She might have meant it as a show of camaraderie but all it did was strike horror into his stomach because no, they were not the same. Zuko had been scarred as a punishment. Her scar was a mark of war, a war that a young, Earth Kingdom hospital worker shouldn't have had any part in.

There was nothing he could say to make her understand that though, so he looked back out to the smoke filled sky. Then as he watched, something large and white began floating out of the soot and flying towards them. The Avatar's bison landed with a thud.

"Here's our stop!" The airbender called, before helping down the other passengers on the saddle, a family that had seemingly gotten too close to the flames. Song stood to help. Zuko stayed sitting, trying to ignore the guilt gnawing at his stomach.

Travelling with the Avatar was… strange to say the least. He remembered the first time he'd gotten on the air bison and wondered how in the world he'd ended up with these people.

There were the two Water Tribe siblings, Sokka and Katara. Sokka had been skeptical of him from the start and was probably one misplaced spark away from throwing him off the saddle. He was mostly just confused as to why they'd brought him along in the first place, something Zuko did not have an answer for. After a few days of not stabbing anyone in the back, his suspicion turned more into curiosity. It was more than once that Zuko had turned to see Sokka staring at him as if about to ask a question.

"What?" Zuko would bark.

"Nothing," he'd answer, waving away the moment. "Jerkbender."

Then there was Katara, who was a little more cordial. After stealing her necklace and kidnapping her, Zuko should be grateful for that much. Zuko's only redeeming factor to her seemed to be that he saved the Avatar, and in turn her and her brother as they had been sick at the time, he learned. For the most part, she tried to pretend he wasn't there, as if looking at him agitated her but she didn't want to show it. Which made sense, he guessed. She still checked up on his leg out of principle.

The Avatar was a completely different story. Somewhere along the way he'd gotten the idea that since Zuko wasn't chasing them anymore, they could be friends. Zuko refused to consider the idea. He may be a fugitive but he was still a Fire Nation prince at heart, and he wasn't about to shake hands with his nation's greatest enemy. That didn't stop the airbender from bubbling up with questions and trying to get him to return his idiotic smile.

He had tried to capture these people for crying out loud. On the first nights, he'd stayed up suspecting a trick. When nothing came, it became clear that the Avatar really was that sincere and naive; which grated on Zuko's ego, because how had he not managed to catch these… these kids?

On darker occasions, Zuko wondered if he could sack the Avatar, take him over Fire Nation lines and hope that his father changed his mind. It was a stupid idea, and not even because it would be physically impossible to catch the Avatar, not when he couldn't even stand. It was a stupid idea because his father never went back on his word, and his word made it painstakingly clear that he would never let him home.

And maybe, just maybe, a little part of Zuko didn't want to catch the Avatar. Zuko never wanted to catch the Avatar in the first place, he was just a kid after all, it just happened to be his only way home. Now that that chance was gone, Zuko had no reason to affiliate himself with him, as an ally or an enemy. He just hoped Aang could do some good. Before the Fire Nation caught him, of course, and they would catch him eventually, just like one day they'd win the war. And maybe, just maybe, an even smaller part of Zuko didn't want that to happen; and not just because he'd have to hide a whole lot better if the Fire Nation controlled the world.

He tried to ignore it. Those were traitorous thoughts. Though seeing as he was already an enemy of the Fire Nation, there was really no reason to shy away from them.

Most of the time, Zuko kept his mind dull enough to do nothing else but stare blankly at the sky and will his leg to heal faster. It was better that way. It kept him from remembering that he'd never go home, or that his country wanted him dead, or that the war was a lot less clear-cut than he thought, or that he was travelling with his once enemy, or -

Dull. Right.

He would wait till his leg healed, wait until the last chains of Zhao's imprisonment could finally be shaken off. What he would do once his leg healed, he's not entirely sure, but he's pretty sure that it was a reasonable first step forward. Literally and metaphorically.

Until that happened, Zuko would have to sit with the bison and wait, unless he wanted to crawl away and die alone in the wilderness.

The Avatar and his friends had set down in some sort of encampment deep in the forest. A river slithered close by. The three had went off with little more than a smile from Aang, telling him that they'd found a firebending teacher and they might be staying here a few days. A firebending teacher? It wouldn't bode well for the Fire Nation if the Avatar could learn to use their own element against them.

Zuko didn't exactly have any say in that, though, and more than anything, Zuko wondered if whoever this master was could help him with his own problem.

He mustered a fire not much bigger than a torch flame in his hands. That was about as big as he could get it. It had been like that ever since Zhao's imprisonment. Ever since he'd lost his chance of going home, it was like a fire had been quenched from his soul. His firebending had gone with it.

He'd thought it was just his body recovering from the stress, but he feared it might be permanent. Permanent. The idea rattled him so much that his time with the Avatar seemed reasonable, as long as it could bring back his bending. He hadn't told any of them, of course; no need to make himself even less threatening than he already was.

Zuko stared down at his leg accusingly. He'd been healing slowly over the last few days but his bending hadn't grown a spark stronger. Maybe… maybe being able to stand and walk on his own would be enough to bring back his fire.

He heard Aang and his teacher training in the distance. Perhaps he could hit two birds with one stone.

It was a long shot, he knew. He'd been trying to stand for days now, grappling with tree branches and Appa's fur every time the Avatar and his friends left him alone. He could barely rise to his knees without his vision growing black. But this was Zuko, and he'd be damned if he didn't try. It was comical, really. He got up on his right knee, slowly rose on one leg as he fruitlessly tried to pivot his other, leaning against Appa for support he managed a one legged stand, only to scrape his elbows on the dirt at the first moment he tried to throw some weight on his left. Then repeat until he was worse off than before.

Dusting himself off once more, Zuko sat dejected, wondering if it was even worth trying again. And there, on the dirt, was the cane lying in wait. He'd tried to ignore it, hadn't even known Aang had brought it with him from the hospital, but it grew more and more tempting as the days whittled on. This time, his gaze lingered. Reaching for it now, he hesitated.

You're healing. His mind tried to assure him. You're healing.

Convincing himself that it was a means to an end and not a defeat, Zuko took the cane in his hands and with great effort, rose first to his knees and then all the way up. Putting as little weight on his bad leg as possible, Zuko slowly hobbled forward, enjoying the simple pleasure of being able to stand and walk on his own again. Albeit, shakily, but much better than before.

The voices in the distance grew louder.

Aang was whining. "I've been breathing for hours."

"You want to stop breathing?" His teacher, Jeong Jeong was his name, mocked.

Zuko stumbled across the treeline to the riverside, where the Avatar stood, shoulders hunched and frowning like an impertinent child.

"I want to stop wasting time!" He huffed.

"I had a pupil like you once. He had no interest in learning discipline. He was only concerned with the power of fire - how he could use it to destroy his opponents and wipe out the obstacles in his path."

Zuko snorted as he walked nearer. Sounded like a certain admiral he knew.

Jeong Jeong continued, voice now grave. "But fire is a horrible burden to bear. Its nature is to consume and without control it destroys everything around it."

Aang didn't seem impressed. Zuko was even less so. Zuko was no firebending master, but even he knew that a firebender who was wary of his own element was bound to get burned; and they had absolutely no business trying to teach someone else.

He was also never good at keeping his mouth shut. "How could you ever hope to teach someone firebending if you think fire is a burden?"

Jeong Jeong turned to face him and looked him over with distaste. He stated simply. "Fire is a curse."

That struck a match in Zuko. "Fire is a gift."

Even in such uncertain times, that was one thing Zuko was sure of.

The man just scoffed, now completely ignoring the student at his back. "A gift? Have you seen this world? This war? Fire destroys! It is not like the other elements; unattended fire does nothing but consume. Those who wield it walk the line of humanity and savagery. I already know where you fall on that line, Prince Zuko."

He used his title sarcastically, just as Zhao had. Not only that but he'd just implied that Zuko was a savage. How dare he? How dare he try and say that all fire could do was burn and destroy? The image of the sky blackening back at the hospital flashed in his eyes, but no, fire was so much more than that -

"This war is to spread the Fire Nation's glory. We're sharing our light with the world." That's what he had always been told. It had made sense. Had. Now, his words were turning to lead on his tongue as he said them.

"Are you blind?" Jeong Jeong half-laughed, as if he knew that even Zuko didn't fully believe his own words. "All you have to do is look at your own face to know the true nature of fire!"

Aang winced. "Oooh. Ouch."

Zuko grit his teeth. Trying more than he ever had not to stumble, Zuko turned around and hobbled his way willingly back to Appa. If he'd had his firebending, the forest might have spontaneously combusted on the way.

Zuko spent a long time sulking by the bison before Aang came barrelling through the trees.

"I can't believe I did that!" He shouted, before crashing next to Appa and burying his head in his hands.

"What's wrong with you?" He asked, too deflated to keep up that 'no talking with the enemy' thing.

"I can't believe… I can't believe I burned Katara!"

"What? Is she hurt?" Zuko quirked an eyebrow. After taking care of this leg for some time, it was the least he could do to show some concern.

"I was fooling around and then I - I burned her hands." He muttered, before sitting upright in a rage. "I should have listened to Jeong Jeong, I should never have tried to learn firebending!"

"Yeah, listen to Jeong Jeong. I'm sure that'll go great." Zuko rolled his eyes at how distraught the kid was. "Look, fire is fire. We all get burned at one time or another, you just have to put some salve on it and move on."

"No. You don't understand. I'm never going to firebend again."

Zuko's eye grew wide for a moment, before he remembered that he shouldn't care. In fact, he should have been happy that the Avatar was handicapping himself, but he wasn't. All he saw was a kid terrified by something he didn't understand and blaming himself for something he couldn't control.

"You hurt her by accident. That's no reason to stop."

"No, I hate that I burned her by accident; I can't even imagine burning someone on purpose." Zuko tensed at that, but Aang continued "Jeong Jeong was right, all fire can do is hurt and destroy."

Zuko turned his eyes downcast.

Destruction. Savagery. Was that really how the world saw it?

Fire had always seemed… warm to Zuko. When he thought fire, he didn't think of death or destruction. He didn't think of the scar on his face. He thought of his mother's hands around his as he cradled his first flames. He thought of the times years ago when she would pick him up so he could reach the candles on the wall and light them.

That was what he saw, yet reality, it turned out, was different. Fire was oppressing heat, it was war. It was the force that burned the forest and sent soldiers home covered in scars, and remembering Song, not just soldiers. Families were torn apart by it. It ravaged without care.

A burden, Jeong Jeong called it. A curse.

That wasn't true though. Perhaps this war was a horrible thing but fire itself was so much more than the burn. It was a pity that the Avatar was made to believe that.

Zuko lit a small flame in his hands. Aang stared in surprise, as if he'd forgotten in the days they'd spent together not fighting that Zuko was a firebender, too.

"Fire is different from the other elements. Fire lives on its own. If you don't respect its will to live, you'll get burned. Or you'll burn someone else." Aang broke his stare. Zuko continued, hands still cradling the flame. "But fire is more than just destruction. Even if it seems like that sometimes."

He wasn't sure Aang was convinced, but Zuko had spoken more to himself, anyway.

Suddenly, Katara came crashing through the forest.

"Aang!" She shouted. "Zhao and his soldiers are attacking!"

The airbender was up on his feet. "Katara, I'm so sorry for - "

"There's no time for that right now. We have to leave!"

Aang shook off his brooding and asked, "Where are they?"

"By the river. They captured Jeong Jeong."

Aang wound his hands into fists "I have to help him."

"Wait! Aang!" Katara yelled out as he flew off towards the river. She groaned and started throwing supplies on top of Appa.

"I thought your hands were burned." Zuko sputtered out.

"My hands?" She said. "I healed them."

"You healed them?"

"I'll tell you later." She said, but Zuko didn't miss the quick glance at his leg. "Now come on."

She helped him up aboard Appa, dragged her brother into the saddle, and they were off.

Over the treetops, he caught sight of Zhao. Aang, in airbender fashion, was flitting and weaving around the firebender, dodging whatever was being thrown at him. Consumed with trying to hit his target, Zhao was completely unaware that he was burning his boats in the process. In the midst of the burning wreckage, Zhao looked up and met Zuko's eyes. Disgust roiled in his stomach. With admirals like that, no wonder the world saw them as savages.

Aang joined them atop Appa, and they were off into the sky.

It was with a sinking feeling in his stomach that Zuko wondered if he too had been so busy trying to reach his target, that he hadn't noticed the boats burning underneath him as well.

AN: Yes Zuko, plant those seeds of doubt! I'll try to grow them well, but I'm afraid I might just dump some fertilizer on them and get to the parts I really want to write… Oh well. Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Next up: The Division
In which Zuko is still confused, loyalties are tested and Aang makes an offer.