38 Days

Lucy sat down in her History class, not bothering to speak the pinkette that watched her enter the room, let alone glance at him.

The first few days had been torturous, when she'd had to run from class to the bathroom afterwards to avoid him. She was actually proud of herself; not talking to Natsu for almost 2 weeks.

Yeah. Right.

Lucy stared at her notebook blankly, knowing the second she looked up and saw him, her heart would shatter even more. She had walked in that first day after the kiss, and the look on his face made her want to throw up for being sick with herself.

'38 days.' She thought silently, half-heartedly listening to Mr. Connell drone on about a 'less important' topic, the development of trains and the effects it had on the country, only to have it evolve into a passionate speech about how the Wild West was brutally slaughtered and raped.

Lucy shivered slightly at the part where Mr. Connell banged his fist on the desk, yelling about how the West became a shell of itself after modernization had its way with it, but when he wrapped it all up with, "But the Spirit of the West still live on, in the hearts of everyone who cared about it! It protects all the great cowboys on their adventures, and will only let it die if you let it."

The bell rang, and Mr. Connell jumped. "Right! Homework!" At the class' groan, he chuckled. "A one page paper that you care about as much as I care about the West. Be passionate! Use history in it and make me happy!"

Lucy was up and out of the room before he finished the word 'happy', making her way to her locker. It was days like this that she missed Natsu- his presence was the mute button she needed to deaden the whispers.

"Hey, look at Fairy Tail's Slut."

"I heard she was messing around with that Dragneel kid."

"Lisanna's guy? Damn, she's asking for a beating."

"Heard she broke his heart."

"She's trouble."

"I wonder why she hasn't killed herself yet."

Lucy reached her locker in time to hide the look on her face, but she looked up, trying to find who had said something like that. With her luck, she glanced up in time to see Lisanna past her, talking animatedly as she walked with Natsu, arms wrapped tightly around Natsu's arm like if she let go, she'd lose him. Lucy didn't chance to take a glance at Natsu, afraid of what she'd see.

Lucy turned away, part of her dying a little at the sight of her once best friend and best friend acting all cuddly. Her locker opened smoothly, like always, and she took a step back, expecting the notes to flood out of their prison onto the floor, but to her surprise, there was no movement. A single note, folded in fourths, was in her locker, and Lucy picked it up, a look of confusion on her face as she shut the door, debating on reading it or not.

There were whoops of joy and shouts of delight further down the hall, and Lucy looked up in time to see Lisanna pull Natsu into a kiss, the shock evident on his face as he blinked a couple of times and when he looked up, Lucy met his eyes, and she smiled sadly at him before turning away and heading to her next class.

'38 days. 38 days.' She chanted in her head. It was the only thing keeping her alive and sane at this point, that fact registered in her brain. As she sat down at her desk in her next class, she noticed the letter still in her hand, and out of a whim to get her mind off of Lisanna and Natsu.

Big mistake.

Lucy-

I figured someone needed to be the bigger person and put everything you did in the past, and that's why I need to tell you this.

Natsu is just using you for some bet I heard them talking about; a bet to see if Natsu could get in your pants by graduation. You're the last one he needs in a long line of 25 girls over the past few years. I know exactly what you think, 'Yeah. Right. Prove it.'

The 'adventures' he's taken you on, how many girls do you think he's done that with? The running around, swimming in the lake, rescuing his cat, the staring up at the clouds on his car hood, the sleeping in the grass in the park. Trust me, too many girls have had their hearts broken.

If you don't want your heart broken, I suggest you not form any connection with him. He's a devious bastard, and anyone who thinks otherwise needs to get their head out of the sand.

But I doubt you'll take my advice, especially with your reputation. I just wish you luck.

Lucy felt cold, colder than the day her dad came home and told her that her mother had been hit by a car, but the doctors said that because of her injuries, they should start preparing for her death. Even if she woke up from her coma, the chances were high that she would be brain dead, a mere shell of a body with no functioning ability.

'38 days. 38 days.' The mantra repeated in her head, and she shoved the letter into her bag angrily. It was probably some trick, some cruel prank by Lisanna probably. She let out a long sigh, closing her eyes.

Could she ask him? No, not with the way she'd been treating him. And if it was all just a joke to him, then he'd probably deny it.

It wasn't a joke to her. Her heart told her that much as it burned in her chest. She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. Since when did she take the advice of letters in her locker? Natsu was a nice guy, the time they had spent together skipping class probably the best time she had had in almost 6 years.

'Of course it would be.' A small voice said in her head. 'If he thought you were an easy lay, he wouldn't let you have a completely horrible time.'

She shook her head gently, fighting off the wave of nausea that rolled across her. She met his parents and sister for god's sake! They liked her, on some level, and they had treated her decent the one time she met them, more decent than any other person had in quite a while.

The bell rang, ending her third period, and she stood up, letting her feet carry to her next period. '38 days.' She thought sadly, and she wondered sadly if they were going to be worse than her last 1400 or so.

Fourth period was a breeze, and she focused on her story for the most part, feeling sad she had neglected it for so long, even though she was so close to finishing it. There was at least on chapter left, and she silently wondered if her main character was going to get her happily ever after.

She was almost done with the chapter when the bell rang for lunch, and she stood up, going to her favorite spot outside. It was under a tree, and no one knew if you were there unless they looked carefully but since there was a beehive in one of the taller branches, no one wanted to sit there. It was a beautiful spot, and as long as she didn't bother the bees, they didn't bother her. It was possibly the only spot on campus she could sit in peace and quiet without being disturbed by people's whispers.

She wrote in peace for almost the entire lunch period, when a voice broke through her concentration. "Yo! Natsu!"

She froze as she watched a pair of combat boots walk by, a grunt coming from their owner. "You get caught by Erza again?"

"Shut up."

"Haha! She totally knows all of your ways to get off campus!"

"I said shut it Gray!"

A new voice spoke. "You know you just wanted to see that slut again."

"Dude, don't call her that."

"Why? It'll ruin your reputation of the girls you bang?"

"Seen the way she dresses? Slut-mania."

A flurry of new voices spoke up. "Dude, what did you see in her?"

"You didn't even bother to tap that. It does leave you at 24."

"I don't care."

There was a gasp. "You like her, don't you!"

"Shut up! I don't like her Droy! I-"

Lucy couldn't take it anymore, and she stood up, walking fast as she left the tree behind. She didn't even glance at the boys as she left the tree. She didn't want to hear anymore, especially out of Natsu's mouth. Her heart felt splintered, like Natsu's words had been the last hammer on the stake in her heart. She heard him call after her, but she ignored him, picking up her pace. She took a turn and practically ran to the library. She hid in one of the stacks of books, pretending to examine the titles of the books in the section she was in as the tears streamed down her face.

38 days.

Lucy let out a cynical laugh. She wasn't going to make it 38 days. Not with him in her second period.

Her fingers brushed against a title, and she looked at it. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath. She picked it up and began to read, eager to have something to do other than go to her classes.

The book spoke to her, and halfway through, she leaned back against the book shelf, closing her eyes.

"The Spirit of the West lives on! It protects all the great cowboys on their adventures, and will only let it die if you let it."

"I wonder why she hasn't killed herself."

"I don't like her!"

"You'll never be anyone else's, just mine." A hand moved across her face, brushing the hair away, and she shivered.

Lucy's eyes snapped open, and she shoved the last memory away from her, but she still shook violently. She couldn't dwell on that, she had to be strong, for her mom. She had to continue on. She leaned on her wrist, wincing in pain. Grandine had probably been right, it had to be broken. Not like she could do anything about it.

'But no one likes you. No matter what you do, you get the evil eye from women and men alike, and the one guy who claimed to be your best friend was just using your emotions as bait to get in your pants. His parents didn't even trust you. Face it. You're hopeless.' The voice in her head whispered, and Lucy closed her eyes.

"Please! No!"

"Too late blondie."

Lucy stood up shakily, putting the book back onto the shelf. She took a few steps before she broke into a run, barely making it to the bathroom as she threw up. It hurt, mostly because she had nothing in her stomach, but the memory hurt a million times worse.

38 days.

She silently wished she could go into auto-pilot, and finish the next 38 days without memory of what happened, not talking to anyone, and without emotions; a simple machine that ran because it had to, not that it wanted to.

Lucy flushed the toilet, rubbing her forehead. Like she hadn't been trying to that for the past few years.

"Why don't you kill yourself?"

Her fists clenched, and she stood up, sighing. The idea seemed more and more friendly the more she thought about it.

"Life gets better after high school."

Lucy laughed at the words Mirajane had said. Mirajane didn't know what she was talking about- she came back to Fairy Tail Academy.

Lucy walked out of the bathroom, ignoring the odd looks from the girls that were in there. Let them say what they wanted. It wouldn't matter soon enough.

She let her feet carry her off of the school campus, back to her house, and, as she opened her front door, she smiled ruefully.

38 days left… for them.

Hello again! I updated twice today! Who's a proud bitch? This girl.

Just cuz I'm in an excellent mood from yesterday, and slightly sorry I didn't get this up earlier.

So I totally reread this and realized I still haven't gotten a book in the mail. 5 guesses which book. Stupid Post Office not being open on the weekends.

Apparently, The Bell Jar is a REALLY fucking depressing book about a woman who tries to commit suicide a multitude of instances. And I was told about it by a friend who read it and then tried to kill herself(not after talking to me, god, I HOPE I don't kill people while talking.).

A few of you have noticed the _ Days theme. It was kind of an assortment of ideas, but originally it was the days till the anniversary of her mom's death and I toyed with the idea that she lived every year like that, so it was her 'New Year'. Then it became graduation, and then it became the day she... well...

I'll leave it for you to decide.

LOVE! KITKAT! :D