Author's Note: Wazzup peoples! Well here's chapter four, rather enjoyed writing it, so I hope you like it. Finished later than expected, but I make up for that with a thousand more words that usual, lol :)
Shout Outs: Thanks Reese Apoc for your reviews and support! Always like seein' 'em
Enjoy! R&R!
Chapter Four: Discerning A Feeling
POV: Cloud Strife
THE next five days passed without consequence, Cloud making sure to give Rosso her daily mako injections, having already lowered the dosage once already. It was around ten in this seemingly uneventful night as he took his spot by the fireplace, staring into the crackling embers, allowing himself to drift. I really hope she'll be alright… Reeve said after their latest diagnosis that she might actually have a chance of living now… as Cloud was absorbed within his thoughts, his phone rang, causing Cloud to nearly hit the ceiling in surprise. "Damn!" he exclaimed as he grabbed the ringing devil, to see that it was Tifa that was calling him. "Damn… I was trying to hold this off… I'm no good at making up stories." he said aloud scratching the back of head, before finally bringing the phone prudently to his ear.
The man wasn't even able to get a 'hello' out before being pummeled with question after question. "Cloud! Where the hell have you been? Where are you? Why are you doing this again, taking off without telling anybody? You've got Denzel worried sick, when are you coming home?"
"Tifa!" Cloud finally gasped, silencing the woman as he gathered his thoughts trying to assemble a believable account. "Can I get the chance to explain myself?"
"Go ahead…" Tifa let out an exasperated sigh on the other end.
"First off- I didn't exactly take off without anybody knowing…" Cloud began trying to stall and create enough time to finish off the story he was in the middle of developing. "I told Denzel I was going out… I'm surprised he didn't tell-" he felt a little guilty trying to pin the blame on Denzel.
"What does it matter if he told me or not!" Tifa interrupted.
"Tifa… please. I had only planned on taking a small ride, but I got a call from Elmyra." this was it… the beginning of his lie. I just hope she buys it… God, she had to pick now to suddenly be concerned about me?
"About what?" Tifa queried, curiously. They hardly ever heard from Elmyra, so it must have been important- Cloud could imagine her thinking.
"Well, I couldn't just deny her…" Cloud stated, trying to circumvent his way around.
"What did she want though?" Tifa asked.
"She needed a package delivered all the way to Rocket Town." Cloud answered.
"Hmm… Rocket Town… that is pretty far away, but how did you get there?" Tifa continued with her inquisition.
"Well I'm not there yet. You see, I decided to get Cid to take me over. But the only way that he'd take me with him was if he could get his 'pit stop' over in Mideel like he likes it. So we're still in Mideel right now and won't be heading out to Rocket Town until tomorrow…" that'll give him even more time on Tifa's watch, rather than just saying he was already there in Rocket Town; giving him another week and at the most.
"Hmm… seems you'll be gone awhile then…" Tifa solemnly stated.
"Why do you care anyway?" Cloud said with a trace of contempt.
"Why wouldn't I care, Cloud?" Tifa asked, honestly confused. "You're my friend… why are you acting this way?" she sounded genuinely concerned…
She sounds genuine enough… though, I used to believe that we more than friends…- Cloud thought to himself. "It's nothing… sorry… Can I talk to Denzel?"
Cloud heard the woman call the boy's name in the background. After a few shuffles, Cloud heard the boy's soft-spoken 'hello' on the other line. "Hey Denzel! How's it goin' over there?"
"Fine… Cloud you just told me you were getting fresh air." Denzel half-jokingly said.
"Yeah I know, but something came up…" Cloud consoled, although he wasn't exactly lying; he hadn't expected to fall off a cliff and randomly get some wild far-fetched hunch that turned out to be right.
"So, you'll be back soon right?" Denzel hopefully asked.
"I honestly don't know Denzel… I don't wanna go getting your hopes up… I've got something important to take care of- please understand." Cloud tried his best to break it to the child softly. "Please don't tell Tifa this though, okay?"
"Alright." Denzel huffed.
"I promise that I'll call whenever I can okay?"
"Okay, you better!" Denzel commanded.
"I will, don't worry." Cloud reassured. "And Denzel?"
"Yeah?"
"…Love you." Cloud said despite the awkwardness.
"…Love you too…" Denzel returned, also clearly feeling a bit awkward.
When Cloud heard the dull beep on the other end, he cut the line with a heavy heart. Poor kid… but right now she needs me more… I hope you understand Denzel. And I hope Cid can cover for me on my story… then it dawned on him, his slip up. Shit! What if she gets in touch with Elmyra? Cloud decided to drop the worry; resolved to just deal with it when the time eventually came. After all, he had bigger things to worry about; a human sized thing in fact. He simply watched a dull comedy on the television to pass the time; although another might've found this lifestyle a seemingly boring way to live day after day, Cloud was content with himself. I wonder what's going to happen after she wakes? Once Cloud was on that subject, he began to wonder; Hmm… Reeve said it should've only taken a couple days at the most for her to wake, but she hasn't even stirred after five… Weird… but at least her injuries seem to be healing well. It shouldn't be long now…
He found himself immersed in her within his psyche; every time he tried to think of something else, his mind was right back on the trodden path it found itself pacing forth this past days: Rosso, the ubiquitous woman ever present around his every thought. He had found a sudden inclination to watching the woman sleep at night, actually going to the extent to sequester a chair a few yards from her bedside near the door to gaze at her resting figure. The pitiful woman's languished face brought such a sympathy to his heart, and he found it a grueling struggle to just tear his eyes away the beauty. Once he even found himself awake one morning still in the chair, not having taken his place in his own room.
So instead of sitting by the fire tormenting himself over the thought of her any longer he walked the flight of ghastly creaking steps to the bedroom. The first thing he noticed was actually the time; the time already being eleven at night. "Mako time…" Cloud amused himself; then quickly went to work. By the time it was over he had taken, once more, his place on that chair by her bed, lost within the contours of her comely visage. The only sound was the slight passing of air by the form in the covers. He hadn't even paid attention the time, as it slowly waltzed the enraptured blond by.
As he sat and sat, totally engrossed within her peaceful face he thought: Wouldn't it be funny if she woke up right now to find me staring at her? The notion brought a light frothy chuckle to his throat. Then to the great astonishment of the man that sat watching the woman sleep so soundly, lips parted ever so slightly and let out one word that appalled the man. Sure she had spoken in her sleep before, and he was there to hear it; but it was never anything more then utter gibberish or simple small phrases without any meaning on its own. This one simple, barely audible, breathy mumble that those voluptuous lips had let slip, held a rather strange puzzlement for him…
One simple word…
"Cloud…"
It was high time that Cloud head into town for supplies, two mornings later. Cloud found himself, however absolutely engrossed in what had happened the night before last. He found himself the next day wondering if he could catch the lyric mention of his name once more; the way 'Cloud' just rolled of her tongue put him fully spellbound into hearing it once more. The way she said his name was so unlike the way she had so haughtily said it that day of their momentary battle; and he longed to hear it again. Like a child teased with a fascinating knickknack, he returned to her bedside throughout the day with that single-minded hope.
Today, however, he had business to take care of; staring at sleeping women can wait. So he set off with a husky sigh. Looking over himself he felt a pang of longing… for his clothes. After that fall his clothes had been nearly shredded, so he had worn some clothes Reeve had given him, and picked up some winter gear once he had landed in Icicle Inn. Despite the warmth he felt with his current outer wear, he missed the comfort of his own uniform. Suddenly, he felt silly for worrying about something so trivial. Well, maybe its things like this that make me normal… to some extent…
Trudging through the ankle high snow he made his way down to the main village of Icicle Inn going over his mental list of what exactly he needed for the next week or so. After about a twenty minute walk he was surrounded in log homes, some of the chimneys puffing out little balls of smoke. They were certainly smaller but not quite different than his own lodge, and he found the sight of the little village a pleasant nostalgic one, it being such an out of the way and close-knit community. A small girl came sliding down the hill that rolled over to where the 'Welcome to Icicle Inn' sign stood. As she skidded to a halt her delightful laugh ringing in the chilly air she noticed the blond and waved over to him.
"Morning Mr. Strife!" she merrily greeted.
"Morning." Cloud two finger saluted back.
The only real action that happened here was the occasional skier, hiker or tourist who normally stayed at the local hotel. Lucky enough for them, it snowed here year-round, meaning year-round tourists and a pretty good profit for the village. Its why they never had any problems in paying for a supply delivery from Junon, and as Cloud entered the store he noted: And not a bad selection of assortments either. As he entered the store, the man at the counter in the front waved to him. Though he hadn't gone into town often, the townspeople picked up on the fact of an outsider quick, especially when they learned a hero of the Jenova War was in their midst...
POV: The Crimson
Awake on a tuft of feathers…
Warmth…
Momentary disillusionment and confusion…
Gathering strength… you separate an aching self from the chains of weariness…
…Only to collapse upon the floor with numb legs…
…But you continue on because you must be strong…
With all the strength and will of your upper body you crawl on- braving the descent into the void of oblivion…
Conquering the beast of lassitude…
You are a fighter, this is below you…
Nothing can hold you down now…
You are a warrior, this is nothing compared to what you've overcome before…
You break away the barrier of despair…
You are a soldier, you have no fear…
So you step into the bleak abyss of biting nothingness… and welcome the glow beating upon your back…
You have nothing left to loose…
…And all the more to gain…
Oh piteous Reaver,
Venturing down a path wanted by none.
Doomed to raze thine conscience and
Bring unto the world a fate worse that death itself…
My pity eternally unto you oh cursed being.
-Vimriam: Book of Prophecies- 'Empathy' Psalm 106
POV: Cloud Strife
Trudging again through snow, Cloud made his way back to the lodge, bags of groceries and supplies in hand. As he closed the front door behind him, he set the bags near the door. Pulling his coat off and setting it on the rack with a sigh, he walked up to the second floor planning to splash his face with some water; he felt so exhausted for some inexplicable reason, even too tired to remove the thick scarf around his neck. As he walked past the crimson's room he stole a glance inside, and stopped in his tracks. He stood there staring inside, dumbfounded; for what lay inside was an absolute appalling sight… or rather a lack thereof. There was nothing but an empty bed, the sheets haphazardly splayed across the floor. "Rosso!" he flew down the steps, as if the devil were at his heels. Peering over into kitchen, he discovered the sliding door thrown open, a chilly breeze blowing through. He rushed outside, feet pounding in the snow following a trail cut into the snow, supposing that Rosso had left it. Like a bolt of lightning he sprinted on, already nearing the forest.
"Rosso!" he cried in anxiety. "Rosso!" luckily the trail was still there in the forest so he weaved though the trees along with it. Fuck! She's still not a hundred percent! How'd she get so far? Her legs haven't healed fully… did she crawl all the way?- the trail clearly wasn't made by foot prints. His eyes widened and he felt his heart quicken in pace as he came across a forlorn sight. A trail of blood had come to intertwine with the trail, the crimson fluid snaking further into the woods. Oh god! A wound must've reopened! he rushed on with even greater speed.
"Rosso!" he exclaimed spotting the figure sitting in the snow in the distance, her back propped against a tree.
The woman's scarlet eyes looked up to him, glaring daggers. "You! I should've known…Stay back!" she yelled as he neared. However the determined warrior ignored the command, walking closer. "Come no closer!"
"Your hurt." Cloud declared as he crossed the distance, wondering exactly where the freshly opened wound was. He noticed the woman holding her side, a spot of blood showing through her white shirt; it was the wound she had sustained from being impaled on her side after the fall. "Let me see." he directed, kneeling before the woman reaching a hand out.
"Don't you dare touch me!" she protested.
"I'm only trying to help you… I saved your life after all…" Cloud told the woman.
"I don't care… just let me die, I can't live in shame and dishonor…" Rosso solemnly stated, she almost looked on the verge of tears. "Look at me… I'm supposed to be a Tsviet… an elite! And now… now, I've been reduced to crawling upon the earth like a lowly worm…"
Cloud looked down a grave expression on his face. "A man once taught me of honor and dreams… no matter how twisted and warped your ideas may have been, the fact remains that you fought until the end for your ideals… there is no dishonor in that." he stated as he stood slowly standing to his full height. "And if you truly believe that you have lost it, then you live on to reclaim it."
He stooped low finally noticing the shivers convulsing across her body. He laid a hand to her forehead… Just what I needed… "Thanks… you've gone and made things harder than they need be... I think you've caught a cold…"
He scooped the woman into his muscular arms, despite her flailing efforts. he removed his scarf and proceeded in wrapping and putting pressure to the wound. "How dare you!" she screeched. "I swear I'll kill you! You want me to take back my honor, then that's how I'll meet that end- upon your bloody corpse!" she brought her right fist to his nose, to Cloud's momentary surprise. What a strong willed woman… she just won't give in…
It was Rosso's turn at bafflement, when Cloud suddenly threw his head back and cut the air in his booming laughter, unaffected by the act of hostility. It was certainly a strength he thought she wouldn't be capable of at this point, but certainly nothing close to the kind of strength required to take down Cloud… or even any of the others for that matter. Its been a while since I laughed like that… well not counting being drunk with Cid… "Sure, whatever you say… not so sure you'll be accomplish much in your condition though." Cloud berated patronizingly. If she wanted to be harsh and callous, then Cloud was about to show his witty insensitive facade, and throw it all back in her face; a little thing he picked up while taking the role of a certain other spiky headed warrior.
"Don't infuriate me!" Rosso demanded.
"Humph. I'll gladly fight you once more in battle, but if you want even the slightest chance of keeping with me, then you're going to have to suffer through the idea of me taking care of you." Cloud let out.
"Whatever you say, Darling." Rosso said, her attitude taking a dramatic change, a smug smile creeping up those lips. "So you'd help your future murderess regain her strength- only to claim your life?"
"Humph. Tough talk for someone who can't walk." Rosso had a puzzled look at his non sequitur. To her, she hadn't been talking tough, merely stating a fact and asking a purely logical question. Cloud smiled inwardly; he was having way too much fun with this. "From what you say, you're assuming that you'll win. Hah! Good luck with that."
"What a mouth you have," Rosso said, a smirk playing across her face. She buckled and squirmed, but Cloud held fast.
"Please, you have to conserve your energy…" Cloud stated a bit more serious.
She almost seemed to obey at first. Hmm… surprising… Cloud walked in momentary silence finally reaching the end of the woods and heading into the field, the lodge in the distance. "Where are we anyway?" the woman asked, breaking the silence.
At first Cloud debated whether he should tell or not, eventually deciding on the former. "Icicle Inn…" I wonder if she even knows where that is?
As if on cue she stated; "That's in the northern continent, no?" She picked up on a small surprised glance, and figured what he had been thinking. "Oh- I get it… humph; just because I had been holed up underground all my life doesn't mean I had absolutely no knowledge of the world above me. We had to be as knowledgeable as we were strong. If Shinra ever was in a tough enough spot to deploy us, we had to have some understanding on geography and the such, especially us Tsviets. Not much use not knowing your terrain…. They always told us: 'knowing your environment is half the battle.' "
Her explanation made complete sense; back then they had to know their environment well also, so as to match the right equipment and materia for there harsh journey. It made him feel like a prick for assuming so much so soon. "Sorry…"
"I don't need your petty apologies! Just don't underestimate me Strife." Rosso demanded.
"Yes, madam." Cloud joked, earning a smirk the woman's lips, as they finally reached the lodge. Climbing the steps and setting her on the bed in silence, he began to think… So what happens now…? Then a curiosity came to him, and he began to wonder… "Why weren't the Deepground ever deployed?"
"No such need had ever arisen, SOLDIER was always enough for the job… we probably would've been mobilized three years ago, but we had already rebelled by then. That doesn't mean we did absolutely nothing at all, however. It was mostly Weiss and Nero, though, that took care of some real covert operations, stuff that the president didn't even want the Turks involved in…"
"Hmm…" Cloud took the information in, slightly interested in the ways of Shinra back then. It was funny thinking about the prospect of fighting the Deepground back at that time. Good thing… we might've lost. "Here, let me take care of that nasty wound of yours." Cloud directed. She obeyed, though with a scowl upon her face. You could tell that she didn't like being ordered about. She lifted her shirt slightly so as to allow Cloud to check it. As Cloud took notice of the slim athletic build to her midsection he felt a heat come to his face, in spite of himself. Her body is perfect… he tried to wave the thought away and proceeded in checking her over.
She must've noticed the blush to his countenance; "Am I appealing to you?" Although they hadn't talked to each other much, from what he recounted, her voice had never been so soft, and layered in such a thick velvety seductiveness before.
"What?" Cloud sputtered, caught off guard. Didn't expect that!
"Nothing… just hurry up." Rosso redirected the awkwardness, to Cloud's relief. I'll just go on as if I didn't hear a thing…
The wound wasn't as deep as he had expected, but it sill wasn't pretty. At least the bleeding's stopped. "I may have to stitch this up…"
"Do what you have to." Rosso commented quite nonchalantly.
"Does it hurt? I've got some powerful pain meds they-"
"No!" Rosso screamed. "No-meds… Rosso the Crimson is not so weak as to need some silly unnatural pill to alleviate my pain- I am a warrior."
The woman remained quite stoic and unmoving throughout the procedure as he used antibiotics that the doctors had given him to clean any wounds, and then clumsily passed the suture through her skin. "Well, now that that's done…" Cloud began with a sigh. "Feel any better?"
"…Like I was in any pain to begin with." Rosso impetuously stated.
A frown came to Cloud's face. "Can't you at least give a 'than you'?" Cloud reprimanded.
"I don't give 'thank you's '. Especially for something I could've done myself." Rosso bitterly reproached.
Geez… is she bipolar or something…? "Fine… I'll just leave you to yourself now…" Cloud said getting off the edge of the bed and walking out, hearing a muttered 'good riddance' as he walked out.
About fifty minutes later he came back in with a bowl of soup, prepared for any flak he was to receive.
"What do you want?" the woman was riled by the very sight of the blond.
He simply let the anger bounce off his chest. "Just to bring you some soup…" he spoke so innocently.
"I don't need your pity or your soup! I can survive on my own- I don't need some fool like you to take care of me-"
Cloud rolled his eyes at the woman's bitter diatribe. "Would you just take the damn stuff! You know how much trouble I went through to make this stuff?" he set the plate on the nightstand by the bed; "Do what you want with it then…" he said exasperated with her caustic attitude, not caring how childishly upset he looked as he exited with a pique walk. "So damn ungrateful…" he mumbled just loud enough for her to hear as he walked down the steps. Taking his usual place by the embers of the fireplace, he looked at it deeply with dour eyes. Letting out a rush of air he proceeded to ruminate over the crimson woman. Guess I should've expected this for her first day awake… guess I just wanted some appreciativeness.
His mind took a rather sharp turn as he began to think about what happened when he was taking care of her wound. That was pretty awkward… but…
Do I find her attractive? he asked himself. Then came the answer: Well of course. Who wouldn't? She is pretty…
No… I mean do you have feelings for her?
Cloud began to think on that one; there certainly was a propensity he felt towards the need to protect her, and keep her from harm. I guess a sort of familial feeling in away…
I'm sure it's more than that, isn't it Cloud?
Cloud was puzzled by that statement. Is it?
You tell me.
I… don't know… he began to mull over how he always felt queasy around the claret-haired woman. He began to think on why he had felt so guilty and sorrowful for her in the first place; of why he always had his mind on her. Of why he loved it when she said his name, and why he always inwardly commented on her beauty. Why do I do those things? Why can't I get her out of my head?
Why else?
But I… Do I…?
You do, don't you?
I don't know…
Well, sleep on it… and give me an answer in the morning, okay Cloud?
Suddenly Cloud awoke with a jolt. Did I, fall asleep? he looked over at the clock on the wall and saw it was ten thirty, already. Hope Rosso will let me give her her mako… Cloud slowly walked up the noisy steps and walked into the room, well guarded. He however didn't get any mocking, scornful comments or insults, to his surprise. Maybe she's asleep…?
"I'm awake…" a voice came from beneath the covers. Can she read minds? he indiscriminately glanced over to the empty bowl on the nightstand... Wait… empty? A smile curled up his lips; of course with the darkness of the room Rosso wouldn't be able to see that. "So, Rosso…?"
"What is it?"
"I have to give you an injection of mako… otherwise without it you'll…" Searching for a euphemism; "Cease to function properly…" the words sounding ridiculous to him as they escaped his mouth. I think that just made it worse… Cloud always had a problem with finding the right words…
…
"All right, everyone, let's mosey." Cloud states to the others, somewhat casually.
Cid looks like he's about to bust, throwing his body around in a dramatic manner; "Damn! Again! Stop sayin' it like a wimp! Can't you say 'Move out' or sumthin'?"
Cloud rubs the back of his head, then vehemently gestures with his fist; "Move out!" to the nods of his teammates.
…
"Never heard that way of putting it…" Rosso said thoughtfully, then to Cloud's further surprise; "Whatever… get it over with…"
Cloud had obviously never done the injection while she was awake, and felt somewhat uncomfortable as the woman stared at him throughout the procedure. Once the syringe was emptied, he walked over to the bathroom to wash up the instruments. Suddenly Rosso's voice sounded from her room. "The soup was pretty good…" she said uneasily.
"…Thanks." Perhaps after all this is over, I'll be just as good as Tifa with cooking and cleaning- he chuckled softly, as he an image of him working the bar in Tifa's uniform and Tifa riding Fenrir in his, formed within his head. That's a scary thought…
"Why did you save me?" the voice questioned.
"Because-" a knot formed in his throat… Because I…
Tell her you fool!
Suddenly a deafening roar came from outside, scurrying away any latent notions. Is that a helicopter? It certainly sounded like one. But why would it come way out here…? The lodges' doorbell rang with its melodic tune, and Cloud stiffened. Then swiftly crossing over to his room he threw open his closet door and deftly slung his sword harness to his waist; the one thing he kept from his uniform. The blade was already tucked inside, so Cloud pulled it out as he walked toward the steps. Looking behind him, he put a hand up toward Rosso; "Stay there."
She scowled slightly, but otherwise nodded; so Cloud flew down the flight and walked over to the front door. He moved the curtain way from a rectangular window by it to take a peek outside. Though it was dark, with the help of a relatively bright moon, and a reflective blanket of snow, he was able to make out a helicopter a good distance away. A few figures were stepping outside the hulking beast, and though the wasn't able to make out any faces he was able to make out one telltale insignia.
"Shinra!"
Author's Note: Ooh! Waz gonna happen now? Dum, dum, dum, dum...
I've added a chapter progress indicator to my profile if you're ever curious to see how the story's going.