"No, I've tried most of them, but these clods don't understand the value in propagating an interest in engineering."
Peridot sat in her car just outside a fast food joint, a cellphone pressed to her ear and wedged inside her seamlessly styled blonde hair. Thus far the search for a venue to hold an Engineering Club fundraiser had proven fruitless. It was as she had feared, most people in this podunk town really only cared about sports and farming. Anything less than the local 4H basketball team simply wasn't worth a shit.
"The clubs? We've got most of our key ones on board. The entire mathematics and science groups are pulled in and we're grabbing most of the culinary and music departments thanks to Lars and Sadie."
Peridot listened as a jumbled voice came from the phone's receiver waiting for the opportunity to respond.
"There's still one more spot left to try. I'm heading out there now. Okay, good. I'll see you tomorrow. If things don't go as planned we'll need this place on board. Understood, talk to you later."
Peridot sighed as she ended the phone call with Pearl. Despite the fact that things were looking up on the redistribution of funds for the Engineering Club this whole debacle had proved to be, as Peridot put it, a royal pain in the ass.
Peridot pulled her seat back up and threw the remains of half-eaten cheeseburger into the fast food bag sitting on the passenger seat floor. She started the car and began driving to the one place she had purposefully saved for last.
Sure, most bars in Beach City were more rustic themed and had the usual aesthetic she'd come to hate from her childhood, but this one, oh god did she hate this one. It just felt more familiar than the others, reminding her of of all the terrible things she had to tolerate growing up. It certainly didn't help that this bar was on the edge of town or that her last visit there had been less than enjoyable.
Peridot pulled into the parking lot of The Barn and pulled the keys out of the ignition before dropping her head on the steering wheel and letting out a deep sigh.
'C'mon Peridot, you can do this. Just put on a happy face and swallow the bullshit. Your team needs you just suck it up.'
Without a second thought Peridot sat up, plastered on a fake smile, got out of her car, and walked up to the building. She tried opening the door, but it wouldn't budge. Opting to rap her knuckles against the worn lumber, her knocks fell somewhere between the markered names of Jake and SwagMaster42. With no answer Peridot went to knock again on the aged door when it suddenly opened.
Standing in front of Peridot was a woman a few inches taller taller than she, maybe 5'7 or so and with thick locks of hair covering her eyes. She wore a simple light blue shirt with jeans and an apron. Peridot found nothing particularly unusual about the woman's appearance, but the way she seemed to keep staring at the floor and kept her face covered set an uneasy feeling in Peridot's chest.
"I'm sorry, but we're closed on Sundays. Have a nice day."
Peridot barely heard anything the woman had said her tone was so soft. As the door began closing Peridot snapped out of her attempts at processing the young woman's words and back towards the task at hand.
"Wait! Wait, I'm not here for the bar! Well, I mean, I am, but not in the way you think."
Peridot stumbled over her words, tripping at nearly every point as she tried to get into the last place in town that could offer her the success she needed for the Engineering Club.
"Please just let me come in and talk for five minutes, please."
Peridot stood with a hopeful look on her face while the woman began to open the door. Peridot entered relieved, but still unnerved by how the woman seemed to be keeping her eyes glued to the floor.
"Thank you. I'm Peridot and if you'll give me just a few minutes to exp…"
"Please come this way."
Peridot was cut off mid-sentence by the young woman as she closed and locked the door behind her. Peridot followed, taking note of her environment. The place looked pretty much the same as she remembered from a few weeks ago: old farm and beer advertisements, a jukebox in the corner, her shoes didn't make the same sick peeling sound as she walked and the smell of alcohol was better, probably due to the group of cleaning supplies set out on one of the tables and the mop propped up in the corner.
It was only after she bumped in to her mild-mannered guide that she realized where she'd been led. Peridot uttered an internal 'shit' and got ready for what was coming next.
Peridot had been led right to the bar and standing right behind it stocking bottles of liquor was the slim, tattooed bartender she had encountered prior. Peridot readied herself as much as she could, but the bartender was wearing a pair of skin tight jeans and a black tank top that showed off what Peridot could barely make out as wing tattoos on her back. And boy if there was one thing Peridot was it was gay. She knew it, her friends knew it, everyone knew it and despite her disdain for the person standing behind the bar Peridot had to admit she was not having an easy time keeping herself leveled.
"Alex we have a visitor" came the quiet words of Peridot's guide.
'Alex, right that's her name.'
The barkeep turned around and immediately shrugged down into a disappointed demeanor.
"BP what did I ask you about letting in stray cats."
Whatever difficulty Peridot was having a few moments ago was immediately gone.
"Now listen here you soil sucking sub-strata clod! I didn't come in here to ge…"
Peridot's tirade was interrupted by a small orange tabby rubbing against her leg and purring.
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh" responded Alex, "BP, why don't you head up stairs. I've got this."
Peridot watched as the quiet young woman picked up the orange tabby and went for a side door that presumably led to an upstairs.
"So, what brings the gremlin of road safety back to my lovely establishment" asked Alex as she leaned forward on the bar, once again making it difficult for Peridot to focus.
"You remember that?"
"It's mostly corn huskers and dude-bros that come in here. Anybody with an IQ high enough to prattle of statistics tends to stand out a little. Not to mention the fact that most people have enough deft while sober to not oogle so blatantly, which side note," Alex made a quick whistle and pointed at her face, "eyes are up here. Now then, what, do, you, want."
Peridot swallowed the lump in her thought and refocused her thoughts for the 500th time since having walked up to the bar.
'C'mon, now or never Peridot.'
"My name is Peridot Berde and I am a sophomore at Beach City University. I am here on behalf of the Engineering Club at BCU and the dire straits that we currently find ourselves within. One of the most critical components of the Engineering Club our the annual robotics competitions that take place throughout the Northeast. Recently all of our funding was removed and with a competition just a few short weeks away. These competitions seek not only to enhance the skill and ability of our team, but also function as a recruitment tool for prospective employers looking to acquire new employees with practical skills in the robotics and engineering field. Without access to these events many of our senior members are left with little recourse in the way of practical employment demonstration. It is our hope that we could convince you to host an event in which proceeds from a portion of the nights sales or an entrance fee might provide sufficient income to the Engineering Club. Among the benefit of this would be potential charitable tax-deductions, improved marketing and name recognition within the greater community, and the overall sense of achievement that accompanies providing young minds with the opportunity to practice their skills and seek futures in fields that are making widespread progress in human and technological innovations."
Peridot froze. She had practiced this speech over and over and over again. She was certain she had just nailed it, but she couldn't read much beyond Alex nodding her head and giving occasional 'hmms.'
"Ya know, at the beginning there you didn't really have me, but I'm convinced. We'll do it."
"Really!" Peridot beamed.
"No you leprechaun it's a terrible fucking idea."
"Wha…"
"I mean, do have any idea what you're really asking for? You're asking us, us, this whole establishment to go through a kegger for 200 plus kids and swallow costs above and beyond that with it. Do you think booze is cheap or something?"
Alex sighed and loosened up her tone a bit. Based on the look that currently covered Peridot's face she might have gone a bit far.
"Look, I just mean to say that you're asking a lot of us here and I'm not sure you fully understand that. I mean, have you ever even had a drop of alcohol yourself."
Peridot's expression changed at once. Before there had been shock and even some hurt from the words hurled at her, but not anymore. Now she was pissed. She had been fucked over by Aquamarine and let her team down. She wasn't about to be screwed over again by someone else. No matter what it took she wasn't going to let her team down.
"Fine, if that's what it takes to show you I understand what I'm asking so be it!" Peridot yelled.
Peridot reached forward and grabbed a bottle of green liquid sitting on the bar and threw it back a huge portion of it. She couldn't see what it was, the label was facing away, and she didn't take time to consider how it tasted or would affect her or if the bar needed it for restocking the shelves. If repeating a mistake from her high school years saved the Engineering Club she'd do it 50 times over.
Peridot brought the bottle down and wiped off her chin leaving only an angry and determined expression behind. To her surprise the drink didn't taste badly at all. In fact it was extremely sweet.
"Wow," stated Alex with an impressed look on her face "you really showed me."
"Yeah, I did, didn't I."
"Oh for sure," Alex continued smugly "I mean most people couldn't thrown back that much 0 proof margarita mix and walk straight. 10 out of 10 job there champ."
Peridot's smile faded as she looked to the bottle and turned the label for a clear view. Sure enough the bottle had written on plain as day 'Jimmy Buffet's Margarita Mix For all your party boat needs.'
"Fuck," was all Peridot managed to say as she sat staring at the bottle.
Alex gave a quick chuckle before grabbing two shot glasses from under the bar and a bottle of Jameson off the shelf.
"Alright take a seat, what was it, Peridot?"
Peridot just nodded in affirmation ignoring the directive to sit.
"Alright, well take a seat Peridot."
Alex poured the liquor into each glass filling it to the brim. Peridot sat on a nearby barstool and placed the margarita mix on the counter.
"Bottoms up pipsqueak," Alex stated handing one of the glasses to Peridot.
Alex threw back her shot immediately, but Peridot just stared at hers.
"Will drinking this really help me convince you to host a fundraiser?" Peridot asked in a tone that barely came across as a question.
"Absolutely not, but you clearly need to unwind a bit so bottoms up."
Alex made a fake gesture of throwing back a shot and Peridot quickly followed through with a real version of her own. Despite how long it had been since Peridot tasted booze the shot went down without issue. That same familiar burn, that same familiar rush that came right after. All of it was the same as she remembered.
"Damn," Alex muttered "I didn't take you for a drinker, but that seemed to go down like nothing. Mind explaining?"
"That's kind of a long story."
"I've got time," Alex stated following up with the pouring two additional shots.
She pushed one of the shots toward Peridot and keeping the other for herself. They both threw them back once more, Peridot doing so this time without the initial hesitation.
"I grew up down south, like way down south. Think if Chick-Fil-A, sweet tea, and baptists churches had a baby and that's pretty much where I'm from. Down there booze is just another part of a normal Saturday night."
Any animosity that had existed between Alex and Peridot was quickly fading. Peridot clearly needed a chance to let loose a little and Alex was just doing what any good bartender was going to do, listen.
"Well that explains the whole 'drinking like it's water' bit, but how did you end up in the middle of BFE, Maine? Wouldn't you want to stay close to home and family?"
Peridot gave Alex a tired look, at least more tired than she usually was.
"I grew up in the deep south. Certain things are frowned upon down there. Anyway, I was given a choice 'pray the gay away' or never see them again. I chose the latter."
"Fuck yeah, screw those assholes. I'll drink to that."
Alex poured two more shots that were promptly down the hatch. A smile formed on Peridot's face. On some level it was the booze, but that last statement from Alex certainly hadn't hurt.
"Don't you ever let anyone tell you to be anyone other than who you are and if they do bite 'em in the shins. You're small enough it'll work."
Peridot chuckled a bit at that last portion. If she had any doubts about the alcohol affecting herself she certainly didn't have any about it affecting the bartender across from her.
"What about you? What brings you out the middle of nowhere?" asked Peridot.
"Eh, not much. Family friend owned the bar. They thought dropping me here would keep me out of trouble. No more stealing ox boats for this gal."
"Hold up," Peridot began perplexed "what the heck is an ox boat?"
"Well, ox boat may not be the exact term I was going for. Think more so of a KaYak."
Alex was barely able to contain herself in delivering the horrendous pun's punchline, and while she may have been losing it completely Peridot was burying her face in her hands and trying to not let the bartender see the bemused smile spread across her face.
"My god that was terrible."
"Yeah, but that's the point of a good pun, to be absolutely terrible," Alex said with a smile.
"Is that why you have all the ocean tattoos? Cause you stole a boat?"
"Oh, were at that stage now are we?"
"And just what stage would that be?"
"The stage where you start asking to see tattoos."
Peridot's face shot to a deep shade of red at that last statement as she stumbled and struggled to regain her composure.
'Good God what is this woman doing to me.'
"Easy there short stack, it's just a joke. Though don't think you were the only one sneaking a peak the other night. Nice backside by the way," Alex said throwing Peridot a quick wink that only served to fluster Peridot even more.
"Anyway no, I didn't steal a boat. I mean, at least not yet."
Peridot finally began to regain her composure as Alex carried on with the story.
"I just really like tattoos. Some of these don't have a whole lot of meaning. With most of them it's just cause I love the water, though a few matter to me, you know."
Peridot silently nodded in agreement. She didn't have a tattoo herself and didn't every really see herself getting one, but she had to admit they fit Alex well.
"Wait a minute! I think I get it!" Peridot suddenly blurted.
"Get what?"
"You love the ocean. That's why when we first met you were so salty."
Peridot and Alex sat in brief silence for a moment. Each shared a surprised expression.
'Why the fuck did I just say that, why did I say that.'
Without out much warning Alex burst into an unbelievable fit of laughter.
"Oh my God, 'snort,' that was, 'snort,' the stupidest thing I've ever heard."
At this point Alex was practically dying on the bar counter and Peridot quickly followed suit.
"What are you, 'snort,' laughing about, you made the joke."
"That laugh! Oh my God, your laugh is adorable!"
Alex went to try and stifle her laugh as Peridot wiped a tear from her eye.
"Hey now, it's not my fault. I mean, water you think your doing making jokes like that."
"H2Oh my gosh that was terrible," Peridot stated through a brief snicker.
"Booo, boooo. Bad joke," Alex stated making a thumbs down symbol jokingly.
"Eh, they can't all be winners Alex."
Alex stopped for a moment with a surprised smile on her face.
"I never formally introduced myself do you did I?"
"There was the other night with my friends, but I don't think that counts."
Alex grabbed the Jameson bottle and poured a fourth shot for the both of them.
"In that case, Alex Lapis Lazuli, but all my friends call me Lapis."
"Lazuli, that French or something?"
"Wi," Lapis responded sarcastically.
"Well Lapis Lazuli here's to you and God awful jokes."
Peridot and Lapis clinked their glasses together before throwing back their drinks, not caring or knowing one bit what was to come.