Welcome back. This chapter is a little different. I'm sorta cheating and am going to combine two requests into one. The first request is by meowloudly15, who requested an April fools themed chapter. And the second is a request by lukesk1, who wanted Maggie to have to cheer up Luan. I hope this works for both of you. Have fun.
It was a typical Saturday afternoon for the residents of Royals Woods. Our favorite odd couple was sitting in Maggie's living room with a bunch of schematics laid out over the floor.
"So, this time everyone might try to barricade themselves in their rooms. Just in case, I managed to get remote control of the furnace so they'll definitely be feeling the heat, ha ha ha." Luan laughed maniacally while pointing at one of the blueprints.
"Wow, you really go all out for April fools day." Maggie pointed out while looking a little surprised by all the schematics and well thought out pranks.
"Yep. I take April fools day very serious. It's basically second Christmas for me." Luan stated.
"And your parents don't get mad at you or even ground you?" Maggie questioned.
"Nope. They tend to be more afraid of me whenever this day comes around. They try to hide every year but I outsmart them almost every time. Except for when they made me believe I ruined their lives and we had to move. They even got a moving van." Luan said.
"Wow, they really made you believe that?" Maggie asked in slight disbelief.
"Yeah. It was pretty clever of them cuz they turned my own prank against me. Even put my stuff on the van and made me chase after it. I'm definitely getting pay back this year. They'll know once and for all who the queen of April fools day is." Luan said while rubbing her hands in a sinister manner.
"Geez. I think you and your family might be going a little overboard with this. I mean, the world's miserable enough as it is. Do you really need to add to it?" Maggie claimed.
"What do you mean?" The comedian asked a little taken aback.
"Well, for one thing, this one part of your plan involves rats in yours family's beds. Don't you think that might be going a little extreme?" The emo said.
"Aw, nonsense. No one's gotten that hurt from any of my pranks. It's not as bad as this one year where I put raccoons in the oven to jump out on Lincoln. That's was absolutely hilarious!" Luan claimed.
"Are you trying to prank them or kill them? That's almost like something out of a gangster flick where they try to make a murder attempt look like an accident." Maggie emphasized.
"Don't worry. They didn't have rabies." Luan explained.
"Not the point. I'm just saying, it doesn't seem like you're trying to get a laugh but instead you're trying to torture them. One of these pranks might get somebody seriously injured." Maggie claimed.
"Look, I came over here cuz I wanted somebody to help me with April fools this year. Not somebody who's just gonna be all 'emo-tional' about this, heh heh. But seriously, I thought you of all people would jump at the opportunity to get a laugh at the expense of others. You're always saying how miserable the world is. I would think you would want to spread a little misery. After all, comedy does come from some form of misery." Luan argued.
"Yeah, but not at the cost of fear and terror. I may complain about the world being miserable but I don't want to be a reason for it. It seems like you're the only one laughing at these pranks. Isn't a comedian supposed to make others laugh, not just themselves?" Maggie questioned while giving a stern look to Luan.
"You know what? I thought you'd help me out with this but I see you're gonna be of no help at all so I'm just gonna do this on my own." Luan said as she gathered all her schematics and plans. The comedian soon made her way out the front door with Maggie following behind and holding it.
"Fine! I don't want to be apart such horrible pranks anyway!" Maggie shouted as she slammed the door shut. The emo turned her back and leaned against the door and slid down till she reached the floor. She then pulled her knees to her chest. "*Sigh, that was our first fight. I didn't know Luan goes this far just for pranks. She makes it sound like she's just trying to get a laugh but some of this stuff I'm sure even the CIA would say is inhumane. The world may be a dreadful place but even I know not to make it dreadful for others. I just talk about misery, I don't want to spread it. I don't know what could be driving her to want to do this kind of stuff… I gotta warn the family."
Secluded alleyway in downtown Royal Woods was as grimey as one can imagine. A conspicuous looking figure in a trench coat and fedora was sneaking around by jump behind trash cans and constantly looking around in suspicion. The figure looked down the alleyway and saw another figure standing in the middle that was wearing a semi-convincing Brown mustache and wig. The coated figure approached the mustached figure.
"I'm in the market to buy a rabbit." The coated figure said with a low voice.
"Well, what kind of rabbit are you looking for?" The moustached figure inquired in a feminine low voice.
"The kind that ages and ferments it's poop and hates magic tricks." The coated figure answered.
"Okay, it's really you. Guys, it's really Lincoln." The figure announced to the alleyway while removing their wig and mustache to reveal them to be Rita Loud. Other figures came from out of the shadows and behind trash cans while wearing silly, unconvincing disguises. They removed their disguises to reveal them to be the loud family.
"Alright, gang. What plans do we have to keep us safe for April fools? And remember, we don't have much money this year for anything expensive." Lynn Sr asked.
"I was thinking we could camp out at that old abandoned barn house on the outskirts of town." Lincoln suggested.
"Eww, I am not gonna sit around some moldy old barn. Some of us have class." Lola complained.
"Okay, how 'bout this? We wait it out in the the team locker rooms at school. Don't worry about the smell. You'll get used to it after the first few hours." Lynn insisted.
"Pass." Everyone rejected.
"Come on, guys. We gotta think of something here. April fools is tomorrow and I am not suffering through that again. I still get nightmares from the year she made me go through the pie-apocalypse. So… much.. custard…" Lynn Sr said while quivering in complete horror.
"What if we asked her really nicely to stop?" Leni inquired earning unimpressed looks from everyone. "What?"
"We literally already tried that, Leni!" Lori pointed out.
"Oh, yeah." Leni realized.
"Fear not, family unit. For I have perfected the solution to our predicament. I will simply-"
"We're not gonna put her in suspended animation, Lisa!" Rita interjected.
"Suit yourselves. I fail to see what better options we have." Lisa stated.
"Come on, people! We need to think of somethin'. I'm freakin' just thinking about what terrible prank she's got planned." Luna quivered. "I can't suffer through another one-" Her phone started to ring. She picked it up to see it's Maggie. "What up, Magpie?"
"Are you with the family?" Maggie inquired.
"Yeah. We're in some dank alleyway, downtown. Why?" Luna asked.
"I called to warn you guys about Luan's pranks." Maggie informed.
"How do I know this isn't some set up and you're not just working for Luan?" Luna questioned.
"Because even I know that her pranks are too cruel. She needs to be stopped. I don't want anyone to get seriously hurt." Maggie stated.
"Hmm-mm, you're really expectin' me to believe that Luan's own girlfriend doesn't want to help her on April fools day?" Luna accused.
"Just put me on speaker or else I'll tell your parents about how you and Sam try to go all the way." Maggie threatened.
"Hey, I guess your vibes are all alright, I'll put you on, heh heh." Luna laughed nervously as she put the phone on speaker. "You're on."
"Hey, everyone. I wanted to warn you guys about Luan. She's got some very messed plans for you." Maggie said.
"Why should any of us literally trust you? You're her girlfriend! You're probably telling us this so we'll try to come up with some plan just for her to counter it." Lori argued.
"Cuz I'm the only one who knows about how she plans on pranking you... Look, I know it's difficult to believe someone like me would want to stop pain and misery but you gotta believe me." Maggie begged.
"I don't know. It still feels pretty fishy to me." Lincoln stated.
"That could be because you're standing in some old tuna." Lana pointed out.
"Eww!" Lincoln shrieked as he jumped back.
"She's telling the truth." Lucy appeared.
"Ahh!" The family shrieked and jumped back as they took notice of the goth.
"How can you tell?" Lynn jr asked.
"Because us goths and emo's know that the world is miserable enough without our help. We embrace misery but we don't want to cause others to suffer." Lucy explained.
"Is that true, Maggie?" Lori asked.
"Yes. I don't want to see others suffering. I could never find it funny to see somebody in pain, unless they had it coming. Luan told me about some of the stuff she puts you guys through and I was horrified to think that this was my Luan doing this type of stuff. I don't want to see anyone get sent to the hospital or worse because Luan went overboard." Maggie proclaimed causing the family to sit for a minute and contemplate the emo's words. They looked at each other and nodded their heads in agreement.
"Alright, you've convinced us. So, what exactly does Luan have planned?" Lynn Sr asked.
"Well, she plans on putting rats in your beds, for starts…"
The next day comes as the sun shined on the Loud house residence. The brace faced comedian awoke from her sleep and yawned. She took notice of how quiet the room was and became seemingly perplexed by a lack of screaming and shouting.
"Hmm, that's odd. I should've woken up from Luna screaming from the rats." Luan thought to herself as she got out of her bed, dressed in her pajamas. She hopped up to Luna's bed and saw a lump in the shape of a human. She noticed something off about the bed and saw the cage full of rats wasn't hanging above it like she set up last night.
"Where'd the rats go?" Luan questioned as she saw the lump was moving in a peculiar fashion. The comedian removed the sheet and was soon jumped by a bunch of rats.
"Ahhhh!" Luan screamed as she fell back onto the floor. The rats squirmed all over her, leaving scratches on her pajamas. Some even bit into her skin and left little bite marks. The rats finished their assault and scurried around the room. Luan weakly picked herself up and gave an devilish grin. "So, this is how it's gonna be? Fine. We'll see who gets the last laugh." Luan smiled an evil grin as she pulled out some props from under her bed.
The rest of the Loud clan had barricaded themselves into the garage. They used boards and all types of junk they could find around the house. They filled the interior with snacks and all sorts of supplies to last them the whole day.
"Thank goodness Maggie was looking out for us. Luan won't be able to get us in here." Lynn Sr pointed out as he opened a can of soda.
"Yeah. She, like, totes can't prank us this year." Leni stated as she picked up a empty bag of chips and tried to eat out of it. "Woah, I didn't know they made diet chips."
"The bag's empty, Leni. I'm so glad we managed to get out of this April fools day without getting a pie in the face or a bucket of whatever dunked on us." Lori said.
"Or getting raccoons sicked on us." Lincoln added with a shiver.
"Yep. We can finally sit back and rela-" Lynn Sr was cut off by an overhead speaker buzzing.
"Well, well, well, family. I gotta hand it to ya. You almost 'fooled' me. But now it's time for payback." Luan sad sinisterly.
"Oh, no." Lynn Sr groaned with a horrified expression on his face.
"I already knew Maggie would warn you guys about the pranks I had planned so I set up some insurance." Luan announced as the tv screen turned on to reveal all the bedrooms in the house with special items in the middle of them. "What you're seeing is all your most cherished belongings. From Moms novel to Lily's favorite teddy bear. If you want to see these items right where they 'belong',I suggest you come back in the House. I would've gone with a less harsher prank if a certain mick Swagger loving sister didn't turn my own prank against me this morning." Luan stated causing everyone to give a sore look to Luna.
"Eh, heh heh… Sorry, dudes." Luna laughed while giving a nervous smile.
"And as further incentive, you have three minutes before these items get destroyed. Oh, and I also rigged the garage to fill up with all of Lily's old diapers in just thirty seconds just to get things moving."
"She's bluffin', dudes. No way she would do something as gnarly as that." Luna challenged.
"You really want to test that theory? You have about 25 seconds remaining. Happy April fools. Ah ha ha ha ha." Luan laughed maniacally as the speakers shut off.
"We gotta get back in that house! I can't lose all my work. I haven't changed the one chapter so the crime was committed by the baby on accident." Rita said as she went to the garage door and opened it to reveal a platoon of cannons filled with paint. "Oh, boy." Rita bemoaned as the cannons fired and covered them in glitter laced paint.
"Oh, man. This stuff will take forever to get off." Lincoln complained while trying to wipe it off.
"There's no telling what other pranks she has set up." Lori stated.
"This could've been avoided if you all had just let me put her in suspended animation." Lisa said under her breath.
"I'm calling Maggie, dudes. She might be able to get Luan to stop this madness." Luna said as she speed dialed the number. The phone rang twice before someone picked up.
"Hello?" Maggie answered.
"Maggs, you gotta get over here. Luan knew you would tell us about her plans and she had backups. She's got our favorite stuff held hostage. You're the only one who could save us from this nightmare, Magpie." Luna explained historically..
"O-okay, I'll be over in a minute." Maggie said before hanging up.
"Alright, family we'll have to stay close to each other if we're going to get through this. If we split up, it'll only make it easier for her to pick us off one by one. So, let's stay close by forming a circle and watch each other's backs. And if we don't make it through this, I just want you all to know, I love you." Lynn Sr stated with a serious face.
"We love you too, honey." Rita said as the family came into a group hug. They broke the embrace and formed a circle that allowed them to see all angles. They moved in unison towards the house, carefully checking their surroundings for anymore of Luan's tricks. They made their way up the porch and stopped just before the welcome mat. Lana pulled out one of her hammers and dropped it on the placemat, revealing a hole underneath.
"Nice try, Luan." Lana smugly said as she tried to hop over the hole and pass the threshold.
"No!" The family shouted as they tackled Lana past the threshold. A bucket of spoiled milk fell from a string above the door. The family gave a sore look to the mini mechanic.
"Lana, keep your wits about you! This is Luan we're dealing with." Rita firmly advised.
A loudspeaker came on with Luan's voice talking over it.
"Aww, I was hoping you wouldn't get the 'hole' picture just yet. Oh, well. There's no use crying over spilled milk, ha ha ha." Luan's maniacal laugh echoed throughout the house.
"She must be watching us through the camera system I installed in all the rooms." Lisa suggested.
"You did what?" Rita inquired.
"Nothing." Lisa gave an suspicious smile.
"We'll deal with that later. Remember, move as one." Lynn Sr commanded. The family regrouped and reformed their circle. "We should check each room at a time. We'll start with your mother and I's room." The family nodded in agreement and moved towards the room. They opened the door and saw in the middle of the room, sitting on a small pedestal was Rita's novel and Lynn Sr's favorite cooking pan.
"Our babies!" The parents shouted, earning a questionable look for the children.
"That don't mean as much to us as our actual children, heh." The father quipped as he and Rita nervously rubbed the back of their heads. The family moved with caution towards the middle of the room. They managed to reach the objects, suspiciously without setting off any traps.
"Huh. You would think Luan would've put down some sort of trap or something." Lynn Sr pointed out as he and Rita reached for their prized possessions.
"Wait, that's because she-" Lincoln was cut off by the parents lifting the objects only to find them attached to string that lead to a fan, which activated and caused a device holding ripped pillows to start swinging them around causing many feathers to fly around the room. The family was soon covered from head to toe in feathers.
"'Feather' you like it or not, you gotta admit that was a 'novel' prank. Just so you know, you'll have to get out of the frying pan and into fire from this point. Ha ha ha ha." Luan laughed over the the speaker.
"This may be harder than we thought." Lucy pointed out.
Maggie had arrived at the loud house resident 10 minutes later, completely out of breath.
"I, hah, hope I'm, hah, not too late. Oh, man I need get out a little more." Maggie heaved as she made her way down the path. She stepped on the first slab only to be flung back. "Aahhhh!" The emo screamed as she was sent into the adjacent house's garage can. "Oh, man. This is gonna be tough. But I'm not gonna let Luan have her way. I gotta push on." Maggie said as she got out of the trash can.
She proceeded to walk towards the house but chose to go through the grass. She made considerable progress but soon tripped a wire that set off a catapult in the backyard that flung a bunch of rotten eggs at the emo. She managed to jump out of the way of the onslaught, only for her to trip another wire that caused a rigged slingshot to go off and hit her with a extra egg.
"*Cough, *cough, *cough, geez, Luan. This isn't even a prank. This is biological warfare!" Maggie choked. She made her way to the porch and hopped over the railing and landed on a wooden plank that turned out to be laced with a sticky substance. She untied her shoes and jumped out of them, leaving them behind. She made her way to the front door and hopped over the threshold. She looked at the living room to find it in shambles.
"Oh, my gosh. What has she done?"
"Luan, no! Please have mercy." Lynn Sr shouted from upstairs.
"Oh, no." Maggie rushed up the stairs to see what was the cause of it. She made it to the top and looked over to the right to see the family huddled together in the corner with Luan towering over them.
"And now it's time for the big finale." Luan threatened with a crazed smile as she pulled out a big red button and readied her finger to press it.
"Luan, stop!" Maggie shouted.
"Maggie?" Luan looked to her left and was surprised to see the emo. "Oh, good. I'm glad you came. You're just in time for the-"
"You've gotta stop this, now. Look at what you've done." Maggie said causing the comedian to look at her family and observe them. Luan's eyes widened at the sight before her.
The family was covered with scratches and bruises and even bite marks. They were covered in an assortment of sticky and gross substances. Lynn Sr and Rita's clothes were tattered. Lori and Leni were missing patches of hair. Luna's eyebrows were shaved off. Lynn Jr had a some teeth missing. Lincoln and the twins had black eyes. Lucy was covered in Lily's diapers. Lisa's glasses were completely broken.
"Uh I-I..." Luan stuttered as she examined the group closely and saw that they all had absolutely horrified expressions. The twins and Lisa held onto each other while quivering with their eyes closed while tears ran down their faces.
"It'll all be over soon, it'll all be over soon." The twins and Lisa repeated over and over again.
The jokester looked on to see everyone looking terrified. She looked at her parents and saw them staring in horror at her. She looked down to see Lily, in Rita's arms, completely sobbing while hiding her face from the comedian.
"Oh, my god... I'm… a monster." Luan admitted while dropping the remote. She then ran away and went towards her and Luna's room, slamming the door. The family looked on in shock as Maggie approached them.
"Are you guys somewhat okay?" The emo asked.
"We'll be fine but what was up with Luan? She never looked so regretful before." Lynn Sr claimed causing the maggie to look at Luan's room.
"I think she just had an epiphany."
Luan sat on her bed while holding her knees to her chest, letting out light sobs. She heard a knock on the door.
"*sniff come in." Luan commanded. The door opened to reveal Maggie.
"So… do you wanna talk?" Maggie asked as she closed the door behind her.
"I can't believe what I've done. What I've been doing for for all these years. How have I not seen how horrible I am? I kept laughing at them when they were in so much pain. I'm garbage!" Luan stated with tears running down her eyes as Maggie took a seat next to her.
"No, Luan. you're not garbage." Maggie assured.
"Yes, I am! What type of person makes their own family afraid of them? Does such awful things and doesn't even realize it? I-I made my own sisters cry in fear! I did that and all I did was laugh at them. I poured bleach on Lucy. I could've made her go blind. I c-could've crushed my b-baby sister with laundry if Mom wasn't fast enough. I even played with Lana's allergies. I c-could've sent her to the hospital. I-I'm the w-worst human being alive!" Luan cried.
"Come on, Luan. There's far worst people who've done worse thing. You at least realize you were wrong." Maggie pointed out.
"What does that matter when I've done such horrible things? I don't even know why they would let me do this to them for so long." Luan said.
"They probably saw how happy you were and just let you keep pranking them. They must've wanted to keep you happy." Maggie claimed.
"I don't want my family to be miserable just for my sake! How can I live with myself knowing my family suffered just to make me happy. I even started our first fight over this. I don't deserve you as my girlfriend. I don't deserve to have a family. I… I hate myself." Luan declared.
"You shouldn't say that! You made a big mistake but you should learn from this." Maggie said while placing her hand on Luan's shoulder.
"H-How?" Luan sobbed.
"Well, for starters, we could find out why you do these pranks to your family in the first place. Maybe, you're just using your family as an outlet for frustration. Is there someone who hurt you that you wanted to hurt back?" Maggie inquired.
"...Yeah." Luan meekly said.
"Who?"
"*Sniff It was in back in fifth ..."
It was a sunny monday afternoon for the students of Royal Woods elementary. School had let out as a familiar braces wearing little girl was heading towards her locker. She arrived and entered her combination. When she opened it, a bucket of spoiled milk fell on top her, drenching the future comedian from head to toe. Everyone in the hallway noticed this and proceeded to point and laugh at her.
"Aww, What's a matter, Luan? You gonna cry? There's no use crying over spilled milk."
"We always said you were a spoiled brat."
"At least now you smell like one. Ha ha ha."
All the children's laughs rang throughout the hallway. Luan looked around with tears streaming down her face, seeing everyone pointing at her. She couldn't take the humiliation anymore and ran as fast as she could out of the school.
A few days later, Luan was walking down the hall when she suddenly fell over.
"Hope you had a nice 'trip', beaver girl. Ha ha."
Luan looked down with tears ready to pour out of her eyes.
A few years later, a fourteen year old Luan was heading towards her locker when she heard many other students whispering to their friends.
"Isn't that the weirdo dating that goth chick?"
"Better not mess with her. Her girlfriend might put a curse on you. Heh heh."
"She's so annoying! Always telling those stupid jokes."
"They're so lame! Only little baby's would laugh at those jokes."
"I wonder how many times she got hit with a rotten tomatoes for her corny jokes."
"Look at how big her teeth are. I wonder if she bit you would turn in to a werebeaver, heh heh heh."
"Isn't she the sister of Lori and Leni? I see they took all the hotness in the family."
Luan had finally reached her locker. She noticed a note hanging out of it.
"Oh, no. I hope no one actually has a crush on me. I don't want to have to break anyone's heart." Luan thought to herself as she opened the note. The note read, 'Hope for your next magic trick you saw yourself in half for real'. The comedian looked in horror at the note. She threw the note on the ground and collected her things in a hurry and slammed the locker shut. The comedian then ran away with tears running down her face.
"So, you mainly did all those pranks on your family because you wanted revenge on those kids but you knew you'd get in trouble if you did it to them so you used your family as a patsy, especially since they wouldn't fight back." Maggie explained.
"That's pretty much it." Luan affirmed.
"Oh, my gosh, Luan. Why didn't you tell anyone about this?" Maggie asked.
"I didn't want to burden them with my problems." Luan claimed.
"You shouldn't think like that, Luan! You don't need to take that kind abuse. We can help you. Don't be afraid to say you're being picked on." Maggie expressed.
"It's not that easy, Maggs! I can't go telling on everyone. It'll create more problems when they see I can't fight my own battles. Plus, I don't want you guys to get hurt because of someone as worthless as me. All I'm good for is just being a joke." Luan admitted.
"Hey!" Maggie got in front of Luan while kneeling and looked her straight in the eyes with a stern look. "You are not worthless or just a joke! Anyone who tells you something like that is living a miserable life and hates themselves. You may have gone overboard with the pranks but it's not too late for you to fix things. You can still apologize and make it up to your family. They haven't kicked you out of the family. They'll still love you no matter what. And you still have me. You're the most genuine person I've ever met and I wouldn't want that to change about you."
"Thanks, Maggs." Luan said as Maggie wiped away a tear from the comedians face.
"No problem. I gotta look out for my favorite girl. Even if it means I have to put a curse on someone." Maggie joked as she waved her arms around, imitating a witch casting a spell.
"Ha Ha Ha." Luan laughed. "If it's alright with you, I think I wanna be alone for a bit."
"Sure." Maggie got up and got to the door and opened it. "Remember, we're always here for you."
"Yeah, I will." Luan claimed as Maggie left the room.
Maggie took a deep breath and made her way downstairs. The family had taken the time to clean up the house. Everyone was putting things back where they belong or trying to set off pranks that they missed.
"Mr and Mrs loud?" The emo beckoned.
"Yes, Maggie?" Lynn Sr answered.
"You need to talk to Luan about this number." Maggie pulled out a sticky note with a number on it, handing it to the parents.
"What is it?" Rita asked.
"The suicide hotline number."
AN: I'll let this be known, I'm not really a fan of pranks. I find them to be the lowest form of comedy. So, I obviously I had a challenge with this chapter. I didn't want to write too many of the pranks because it would've felt like filler and wouldn't be that funny to read since they rely on visuals. I hope you're satisfied with the chapter overall. I combined the requests because I felt they connected with each other. The April fools request and the Maggie comforting Luan request seemed like they would work well off each other. I wanted to start getting into the suicide hotline number and these requests seemed like a perfect opportunity. Luan having a revelation about her April fools pranks was a good way for me to build her character. Maggie cheering her up was a nice change of pace for me since you wouldn't expect her to do that. This felt like a good way to build on their characters and move them forward. Tell me what you think.