When I woke up, there was an annoying green light cast over my face. At first I groaned at it, as if that would somehow make it go away. Slowly I became more and more aware of my surroundings: my hands were tied behind my back, I was propped up against something, and that stupid green light was everywhere. Where the hell was I?

My eyes opened reluctantly. My entire body ached and I wanted to go back to sleep more than anything else in the world. But I forced my brain back in gear and as the scene flooded to me, I became alert. The Joker stood a bit away from me, stroking a huge stone dragon that was bright green and giving off harsh light. He was babbling on about how much it was worth, how one sliver could get him a certain amount of money. The kryptonite.

I found Lois when I looked to the right. She was tied up in a chair with a gag in her mouth. I had to find some way to get her away from danger. But maybe I'd keep the gag in just for kicks.

Joker's associate "Harley-Quinn" stood next to Lois, her hand on the chair.

I was propped up against the wall with my knees under me. There was nothing holding my legs back, nothing tying me down. The only disadvantage I had was my hands being tied…which I guess is a pretty huge advantage seeing as how I don't have very good fighting skills as it is. And besides the obvious fact that all my ability is in my hands.

But I had to do something. Clark probably would have found a way out of his by now.

No one had noticed my awakening yet, so I got up as quietly as I could. Harley was too entranced with the Joker's babbling to be looking my way, the Joker was too busy babbling, and Lois had her eyes squeezed shut.

Once I was up from the floor, I balanced myself, and silently side-stepped behind Harley. Without any hesitation for fear someone would finally look over, I crouched and sent my foot into her ankles. She fell with a loud cry and I pounced up to try and undo the rope that was tied around Lois. Every second counted now.

I had to do this backwards seeing as how my hands were tied behind me, and needless to say I didn't get much of anything done on the knot before Harley was back up, her fist swinging into my jaw. When I reeled back she kicked me in the stomach. The blow knocked me off balance and the floor met my face.

The fall jarred my entire body, my teeth crashing down and slicing my bottom lip. That required stitches later. Blood trickled down my chin and the metallic tasted filled my mouth. I gagged with the flavor before attempting to get up again. I received kick in the ribs and flipped back over.

"Ladies, ladies!" the Joker laughed, "Let's try to behave ourselves, please!"

That went on for about ten minutes. And Harley's a much better fighter than I am. I'd never really been taught fighting. I mean, I know how to punch and kick, but I've never had any technique. Partly because Clark has never learned. He doesn't need technique, he's Superman. But unfortunately I don't have super strength, and I couldn't just hurl Harley across the room and be done with it.

She completely whooped my ass, and by the time we were done I had a concussion, a bloody nose, a bloody lip, two busted ribs, sprained ankle and a badly bruised ego. Go me.

The next time I remember waking up I was swinging from the ceiling next to Lois. The five or six times my head had whacked the concrete floor while I was trying to fight Harley definitely hindered my thinking skills. I kept fading in an out of consciousness, just vaguely aware of our swinging motions in the big bundle of red cloth that we hung from.

I remember noticing Superman was in the room, but I couldn't recall how he'd gotten there. That sort of embarrassed me. Some partner I was. He had to save my ass and Lois's. He walked in and she was probably awake, and I was folded over in the big ribbon thing on the ceiling, conked out.

So I can't really give a detailed story on what happened. I was unconscious for most of it. All I remember is Superman lying on the floor with the kryptonite near him, then Batman arrived, then Batman was near Superman, and then Lois was screaming. There were huge chunks I missed, the time replaced by horrible throbbing of my head.

When I finally grew conscious enough to stay away for more than three minutes, I found myself staring at the floor. Confused, I blinked a couple of times. Everything hurt, and as I ran my tongue over my dry lips I tasted blood. It was dried up, but apparently still clung to my chin and upper lip. Gross.

I sucked in a breath and then winced. Mistake, mistake, mistake. Thankfully, whoever was holding me had me by the waist and not the torso. Finally it clicked why I was staring at the floor. Clark, I guessed, was holding me and I was flopped over in half.

I looked around, trying to get a feel for what was going on. Then I saw red boots up ahead.

Wait.

I decided to try and pretend I was still unconscious. I wanted to get my bearings before I shot up and scared the shit out of everyone. And, Batman was holding me up. I mean, I didn't want to ruin the moment for myself. I wanted to prolong it as long as possible. Craftily I slid my gaze over to the left. And as expected, Lois's high heels were just a bit away from us.

I did a little victory dance inside my head. Neeh neeh, Bruce's holding me and not you. SUCKER.

But before my inward gloating could go on any longer, little marbles were sliding across the floor.

"He's got to be kidding," I heard Clark say, his feet moving forward a bit to go after the Joker, I presumed.

I knew something bad was coming. The Joker did not just throw marbles at his enemies and expect to get away. He was smarter than that. He was brilliant, in his own sick, sadistic way. And just as I had predicted, a few seconds later one of the marbles exploded. This caused another one to explode, which sparked another, another, another. The sound was deafening.

"Grenades!" Clark managed to yell over the explosions.

I thought it would be best if I 'awoke' then. As much satisfaction I had with Batman carrying me, I didn't want him to have to lug my ass around while we were trying to escape. I had to keep my dignity. So I pretended to shift, raising my head and getting my feet steady under me. I expected someone to say, "Oh! Belladonna, you're awake!"

No. When I finally straightened myself, Batman's arm snaked away from my waist. Then Clark freaking tackled me, clutching me close to his right side. My annoyed cry of pain was suffocated by the explosions at our backs.

And as if getting my broken ribs squeezed wasn't bad enough, guess who Batman scooped up before Clark grabbed onto him? Yeah. That's right. Lois. I just can't win, can I? I bust my ass for that girl, because I'm a "good person", and she still gets the guy!

Clark flew us a good mile away from the exploding building. He didn't look too happy about the Joker getting away, and landed with his head turned to the angry orange flames spurting from the building. Batman let Lois go, since she was fine on her own feet, and Clark released him as well.

Well, Batman shoved Clark's arm off his shoulders. Which I thought was sort of funny, even though I'm supposed to be on Clark's side.

But I didn't feel guilty, especially because the first thing Clark said was directed to Lois. "Are you okay?"

I should have known.

He finally let his death grip go on me. I swear he cracked a few more ribs in that flying process. Right when he let go my knees buckled and I hit the asphalt. Real classy of me, don't you think? Especially in front of Bruce. And it gets better.

"Belladonna?"

I gave Clark the finger over my shoulder. And three seconds after I hit the ground I crawled forward and puked. I think it was the whole 'hanging upside down in Batman's grip for ten minutes, and then being flown at super speed away from a hot as hell building, with a mutant headache' thing that upset my stomach.

So, I puked. Which really did a number on my ribs. Especially because I had nothing much in my stomach, so I heaved for most of the experience.

When I finally stopped, my eyes were watering and I was sweaty. When I wiped my mouth, the blood had wet again and smeared. I can't imagine how absolutely sexy I looked. Hair a mess, face bloody and sweaty, sickly pale, and bruises all over.

I wrapped an arm around my ribs, leaning forward with a grimace. I don't suggest getting sick with a few broken ribs. It hurts.

Clark leaned down, concerned and worried as always. I hadn't forgiven him yet, so I didn't respond to his hand on my back and his questions. I answered them all in my head.

"Are you okay?" Obviously not. "What's wrong?" I just puked in front of an audience. "Where are you hurt?" EVERYWHERE, MORON!

But just then, Batman came over and crouched down next to me, his cape fluttering over the ground. He moved my arm away from my ribs. Then he took his hands, no joke, and like put them on my sides. His fingers felt around the bones. One finger hit a spot and it took everything in me not to shriek and/or punch him in the face.

All in all, that was the only silver lining in the whole situation. Batman's hands on my sides. He's very gentle despite the scary muscles and black bat attire. He only confirmed what I already knew, my ribs were broken. But damn. Damn. I wasn't complaining.

Then, the moment was over. All good things must come to an end, right?

Batman left dramatically in his sleek black jet that seemed to come out of nowhere with a press of a button. After he left Clark wouldn't stop babbling over me. And not the sweet kind of babbling that makes you go 'Aww, he cares'. It was the kind of babbling that made me want to tug up his tights and give him the biggest, most deadly wedgie this world has ever seen.

Even Lois was hounding me with questions. But never did she once say: "Belladonna, thanks for risking your life and breaking your ribs for me! I appreciate it!"

No. No she didn't. See if I try and save her next time around.