Chapter 4:

A feeling…

A feeling….

What was this agonizing feeling? This feeling I've felt, and I've known like my own broken soul. It had always been there. It had always followed me.

It was that kind of feeling that made all the, the hair on the back of your neck stand on end like fur on a cold winter's breeze. This feeling wasn't quite made of fear. Instead, one would call it being watched.

I haven't the slightest idea who would watch me. Unless it was him… Was he still watching me? Did he still think that he could have me, even after what he'd done to me and my sister?

He'd changed my life and wasn't for the better and I know he would try to tell me. He'd even brought out me, the true me. Not that little girl either.

This pain had brought out my instincts and my desire for revenge. How could he possibly think that there was anything else to gain off of this? What could he possibly take away from me?

He's already taken my soul and my sister. What else was there for him to take from me? What else would he want from me?

I've wanted to scream so badly; to tell him to stop this agonizing pain that he causes me to bear. It's so much easier to run away if he would stop.

I could change things. I could replace this pain with something more. I could…

I can remember sometimes. I could remember my dark past if I tried hard enough…..

He'll never stop and I've known this for far too long. Perhaps he'll continue this for an eternity if I don't stop him now. This is all I know to do now.

When I pretend that things never happened, I become that little girl. When I pretend that he'll let me go and I can take back my life, I know that I'm bending the truth to how I want it to be.

And the very worst part of this is me and the nothingness. I want to heal the broken pieces. I want to feel anything but this pain. I want to feel love; something that I thought was never real.

Sometimes I, I wonder what life would have been like without him. What could have been…? Should have been… What I should have done….

I won't forget these memories. I won't forget these possibilities. I don't know what he wants, but he won't get it now…..

But enough of these things that drive me wild, they've grown inside of me. Enough of this frustration, I've have to kill him now. I've got to stop him before he ruins someone else's life.

I let out a painful sigh. What choice do I have now? It's too late for me. I feel myself turn around. I see the blood in his eyes. Once, in a time when I was someone else,

His eyes were a startling bronze. But to me, they always seemed to be black.

That was just to fool that heart of mine. Now he would devour the souls of other people's lives and feelings.

His face twists into the most hideous thing that I had ever seen. Was that a smile or a smirk?

"Bella, my little Bella are you going to except your fate and give up?"

My little Bella. I bristle, and my canines could not control themselves. He called me his. His. I do not belong to anyone! I am Isabella Swan! How dare he think that he owns me?

I turn around and look at that monster. My claws on my hand grow with my anger, and I lunge for his neck. Tear…..

I see his blood on my hand and even though I hit his neck, he can still fight me. I see him in the corner of my eye, and he's going for my crescent.

Not to kill me, just to wound me. How sick is this?

I lean back and watch him grow angry because he knows he missed. I look at his dangling arm and twist it around as it misses my face by an inch. He hisses in pain.

But he gets his arm back. And as I watch him try again, I know exactly what he's going to do. So he's helpless when I take my hand and put a hole in his stomach.

He's dying! And all the while I'm thinking Yess, Yessss. But then I see the haze. The red haze controls me. It's become too much.

If I give in now, I might not come back. And then what is to happen to me? But is this not what I want? What I've wished for?

But then, I see them and I know I've lost my chance. There name is like acid on my tongue and I wont forget their names.

Cullen….

I should have ended it there. But Edward had the chance to get away so he took it. I'd planned on surprising him. Now he'll have time to come back.

He had obviously thought of me as human because he hadn't expected me to be able to stop him.

He now had a chance to learn what I was. I snorted. As if anything could describe what I am.

Because, of course he doesn't know what I am, and I know it will be some time before he shows his face to me.

A tiny smile forms on my lips. I look at my hand. His blood is still there. So I bring my claws to my lips. And I lick the blood off.

How sweet! The taste of Edwards's blood filled my senses. This is what death tastes like. This is what I will have my revenge for!

Now he'll have time to learn about me. He'll learn what I made that deal for. What I can kill Edward with. My family of whom I am the only one left has been cursed.

There are only six known survivors. Mine has long since died out. I should be dead. All the cursed families die out. But some survive and others are skipped over.

And we all bare the same marks. Purple eyes, long canines, and of course are immortal forms.

But the most noticing is our Blood red crescents on our foreheads. As it may be that I am cursed, I dare not speak my own curse. I cannot for the curse might find me and take me too.

As I've known for far too long since my eighteenth birthday, we are all hunted. My family, my friends, and even those like me have been killed.

We are not allowed to live, and I know we shouldn't exist. Some people call us fallen angels, but I know better.

I have wings and I can fly, but this doesn't I am an angel. I don't come from there. I hate myself for it.

I hate my mother for it. I hate Edward for it. I understand myself because of it….

I turn around. The wolves are gone. The red wolf is not here. But, when I look closer there is a tiny white and red lump of fur.

I looked at it and smiled. I might have a little bit of compassion left in me. Not much, but maybe a little.

I picked her up and knew. Turning back around, I ran with her until I saw my home. I'll stay here for a little while yet…..