Title: Nosce te Ipsum

Author: Shannon – shannyfish

Disclaimer: I do not own "Sanctuary" or its characters, Syfy and other people do. This is merely for entertainment purposes only.

Rating: PG-13

Summary: To trust someone after such betrayal is hard and Magnus finds it almost impossible to be able to trust Will after such pain and deception. Nevertheless, they have to push forward and pursue the leads they have and pray that they can save Ashley.

Takes place after "Nova Vita".

Warning: Season 1-3 is fair for sure, if I have spoilers for 4, it's by complete accident.

Author's Note: I wrote for four months straight and now my brain is sort of like 'blah' and won't let me really be productive with writing…so bear with me if adding to this is slow!

. . .

Chapter 4 – "Family"

"You seem rested at least," John said as he reached out and took her hand.

Helen hadn't been listening and snapped her head to John. "What? I'm sorry, John."

He smiled at her. "I said that at least you seem rested…but you're a million miles away." He squeezed her hand for a moment and just continued to smile at her.

"I'm sorry," she apologized again. "I was just thinking."

"About Ashley?"

Helen nodded. "About Ashley…about Halia…about Olivia…about you…" She was staring over where Henry and Erika were entertaining Halia and Olivia. She was sure that Olivia didn't need entertaining at such an extremely young age, but she could see the smile on her baby's face and that was good enough. Halia absolutely adored Henry and Erika, so at least there was a match between them. It made things all around easier.

"I know you and Nikola will figure something out, Helen," John said. "I never did much in Oxford."

She smiled a little and looked back at him. "Honestly, I'd feel a little better if James and Nigel were here to at least bounce ideas off of." Helen was silent for a moment; she hadn't brought up to John what Nikola had told her earlier. And though, in all honesty she felt like she had every right to make the decision on her own…she and John had grown close once again. John was Ashley's father, and at the same time she felt like he deserved to at least hear it before they did anything.

"Nikola brought a possible treatment option to me earlier," she spoke up quietly after a few moments. "He's already administered a drug treatment in order to hopefully ensure that Ashley's no longer under anyone's control."

"What do you think of the treatment?" John asked.

Helen stared at him. "I honestly don't know," she whispered. Helen looked down for a moment and pulled in a breath. "I want to believe that it'll work…but at the same time, I feel like I'm too close to this…"

"Trust yourself, Helen," he told her. "I trust that you both know what you're doing." He paused for a moment. "I will admit, though, that I trust you more."

She smiled in response.

"Nikola loves you, you know… He may not ever be able to be at a point where he feels like he could actually have a relationship with you, but he would never let you down. Not intentionally. Even though Ashley is our daughter, I don't think that Nikola would do anything that might endanger her."

"You missed our conversation earlier where he apparently is willing to claim Henry as our love child…apparently conceived before we took the source blood," Helen told him. "He was quite particular about that point."

John laughed.

She smiled brightly at him. It was good to see him so happy. She'd missed this side of John. It had been so long since she'd seen him like this. In a way she missed those times. When they lived in England, when they went to Oxford…John was so happy then and so was she, and how she missed all of her friends.

"So, you're going to try this treatment?" John asked a few minutes later. They'd paused and just watched the children.

Helen nodded slowly. "I suppose so, yes."

"You're reluctant?"

"I'm worried, John."

"I told you, you just have to trust yourself."

"This could be the only chance we have to try a treatment…what if it's not right?" she asked.

John reached out and touched her face. "She's going to be fine, Helen."

"I wish I had your confidence."

"I have a question, though."

Helen stared at him. "Oh?"

"Will she still be able to teleport after the treatment?" he asked. "I worry that if there's a problem that she'll try to escape that way."

It was a valid question. She and Nikola hadn't talked about all her powers in detail. She was sure that it was probably easier for Nikola; he had never really met Ashley. Not the Ashley that she raised and loved. He didn't know her like others knew her. If James was alive and helping them, she had a feeling that he'd have problems too. "I honestly don't know. She should have inherited your abilities as well… As far as I know she just never knew about them and thus never learned how to use them."

"But now she knows."

"If she remembers," Helen pointed out. "There's a chance that everything may be a blur. She may not even know that three years have passed. She may not remember what the Cabal did to her or what they made her do." She paused for a moment. "I almost wish that she wakes up confused and doesn't remember anything."

"If it doesn't work, though…what the Cabal did to her…she's quite dangerous," John pointed out.

"Nikola plans on reducing the amount of sedation just enough so that she wakes up drowsy. He's hoping that I will be able to talk to her and gauge if she's really Ashley," Helen tried to explain. "He wants to make sure that the control drug has been broken. Obviously we've seen that her eyes were amber colored and when she had broken through it for a moment they returned to blue." She paused for a moment to look at him again. "But we have to be absolutely sure…"

"Do you want me to be there?" he asked.

She hadn't thought about it. Helen had already planned on asking Declan to be there in case they needed assistance. She was sure there would be no problem there. She'd thought about asking Bigfoot, but she worried that it would be hard on him as much as it would be on her. It would be like asking Henry to be there. She just couldn't bring herself to do it.

"You don't have to be there," she whispered.

"I wouldn't want to be a distraction," John explained. "But I want to be there if it would help things…"

"I just honestly don't know, John," Helen told him honestly. "It's hard for me to even take in that I might…we might have Ashley back tomorrow."

"We will," he whispered.

She was sure that he was happy at the thought of being a family again. Even before the knowledge that Ashley was alive, they'd already pushed back towards the idea of being a family. Helen had pushed to find Halia and then they'd conceived another child together. It was true; she knew that she'd dropped her wall while she was around John. At moments, she chastised herself and reminded herself of the John she'd known for most of her lifetime. But how could she really ignore the beautiful times they'd had? How could she ignore the true source of the evil that had corrupted his soul for so long?

He was the father of both of her children.

There was a bond between them.

"We should get the girls to bed," she said.

John reached out and placed his hand on her hand again. "Let them be for a little longer… They deserve it. Look at how happy they are."

She smiled as she took in Halia and Henry playing with lightsabers now. The two were having a ball while Erika walked Olivia around the room, skillfully avoiding Henry and Halia's fight. "A little longer…"

. . .

"You two are amazing with the girls," Helen told Henry as they sat together. John had taken Olivia and Erika had said she was going to walk Halia up to her room before turning in herself. Henry had stayed behind to chat with her. It seemed like he was one of her children she needed to make time for, it had bothered her a bit that she and John had stayed separated, but their talk was necessary at the same time.

"Well, we're family," Henry said. "Plus, Halia reminds me a little of Ashley… She's just far geekier than Ash. We have fun together and I think it helps her with the whole moving and then being thrown into this…well….Sanctuary business."

Helen nodded. "I still appreciate it. You have no idea the guilt I've been feeling focusing on Ashley—"

"And actually sleeping yourself?"

She smiled a little. "John mentioned that, did he?"

Henry nodded and smiled in return. "I know you don't normally sleep that much, but you've been through a lot. You have to give yourself a break here and there. Halia does understand. She's been on her own for a while, so we've been just hanging out… She mainly doesn't want to disappoint you or Druitt."

"Me?"

"You're the one who came for her," Henry pointed out.

"But John's her father."

Henry shrugged. "She knows the whole story, remember? About the Halia through the looking glass? She was raised by you, Watson, and Druitt. Wanting a family is something I think we all want."

"I don't think she can still fully understand that world—"

"We've had time to explain the best we can about it, remember?" Henry asked. "She's not the same Halia but I figured she should know that we wanted to be there for her."

Helen just nodded in response.

"You know, you've taught me that family is everything," Henry said after a few moments of silence. "For as long as I can remember…you, Biggie, and Ashley have been my family. I just want Halia to know that as well."

"Ashley will be okay," Helen tried to assure. She was doing it for herself and for Henry. She wondered if having Erika there and having Halia to hang out with was what was distracting him from focusing on Ashley.

"You found something to help her, didn't you?"

Helen looked directly at him. "Nikola has come up with a treatment. We're going to start it tomorrow and I hope that it'll restore Ashley to her old self."

"Do I need to put together some kind of jamming device to keep anyone from controlling her? I know Druitt and Tesla took care of the Cabal three years ago, but there could still be someone out there monitoring things," Henry told her.

"Nikola's already administered medication in hopes that it's broken the hold the Cabal used to have on her. We won't know until tomorrow," Helen told him. "We're going to test it before we start the treatment."

"Is that wise?"

Helen shrugged. "Honestly, I don't know… It's one thing to give Ashley back control of her actions and another to adjust her DNA… So, I guess we're just taking it one step at a time."

"She'll be out of there in no time," Henry said, trying to sound confident. "Just wait until Ashley and Halia are together. We're going to be in store for a lot of trouble."

Helen smiled brightly at him. "I won't mind that kind of trouble." It was honest, she wouldn't care if they managed to break every vase in her Sanctuary…she would just be happy to see Halia and Ashley together…and to just have Ashley generally back.

"Have you spoken to Will, Abby, or Kate?" she asked. She'd been back and forth about bringing them up, but she hoped that Henry knew something. She'd been thinking about them and thought that now was as good as any to check in about them.

"I spoke to Will yesterday…briefly," he said. "It was pretty awkward."

"Oh?" Currently she couldn't think of any way for a conversation with Will not to be awkward. He'd put her through a lot and kept a truth from her. She didn't trust him and she really couldn't bring herself to seeing herself putting her trust in him again.

"He was trying to explain why he did what he did," Henry said. "And on one hand I sortive understand…but then I really don't approve of what he did…to you and Olivia… " Henry frowned as he thought about it. "It's one thing for him to be looking out for you, but it's another to do it the way he did it. You went through a lot in that medical facility Declan pulled you three from…you didn't need what Will did added to that."

"I'm sure he still feels like he did what was right," Helen said. "Even if we don't approve."

"What are you going to do?" Henry asked.

"I honestly don't know, Henry," she responded quietly.

And she didn't.

She had no clue.

Her team had been with the Sanctuary for varying times. Kate had been there for three years, Will had been there for four, while Henry had been there for practically his whole life. Though Abby and Erika were both relatively new and not really immediately connected to the Sanctuary, they'd both only been around for about two years. Declan, however, had been away for some time, though he'd been in London under Watson's tutelage.

But none of that helped her in knowing what she should do next. How would she deal with the betrayal and the hurt? That was for another day, though. Not today.

. . .

TBC…