Afterlife
Chapter 4
Levi
I lay awake at nine in the morning, staring at the sunlight that shown through strips of my blinds and sprawled out on my grey carpet floor. A slightly annoyed mew caught my attention. Titan, my black and grey tabby, pawed at my hand that hung off the bed. He had no claws, so I wasn't worried. I glanced down at him swishing his tail about, irritated.
"Are you hungry?" I asked him as though Titan could voice his source of animosity. He mewled and rubbed his cheeks on my fingers. Scratching under his chin, he tilted it back and purred lovingly. His pink nose sniffed my hand curiously and then sneezed. I smirked. Titan hopped up onto my bed and walked across my chest, meowing constantly. "I couldn't have picked a quiet cat?" I muttered to myself as I climbed out of bed, stretching my back muscles out. Satisfactory pops made me groan before making my way out of my room and into the kitchen.
Titan followed me all around the house until I stopped by his food dish and filled it with some kibble. He purred happily while scarfing down his breakfast. I knew all too well not to bother him while he was eating, so I decided upon going to the bathroom to shower. As soon as I walked in the bathroom, my skin began to itch under my clothes. At first it was a small nuisance, not a big deal. My fingers precariously scratched areas over my clothes. I looked at the counter. A deodorant stick was on it's side. Instantly, I upturned it. Some things on the counter next to the sink were slightly out of place. Constantly, I was itching under my clothes as I organized the entire bathroom. I stopped after everything looked satisfactory. But the mirror was kind of dusty, I noticed. I cleaned them off with window cleaner and paper towels. Now the floor looked dirty compared to everything else. Under the sink, I pulled out a bottle of bleach. With a mop, I scrubbed the floor. The familiar and somewhat comforting smell reached my nostrils.
I knocked myself out of my stupor. I'd just cleaned the whole bathroom without a second thought. At least the itching has stopped, mostly. Putting away the bleach, I turned on the shower and the fan in the ceiling. I showered, blatantly ignoring the lingering thought about the bleach in the cabinet in the same room. It would be so easy. It's right there. Then, I thought of how my skin would look. I would give myself a chemical burn, yet again. My skin would be all scar tissue if I don't stop. I don't want that. I got out of the shower after scrubbing myself clean and raw. It worked, I supposed. Wrapping a black towel around my hips, I ran a washcloth over the mirror that was collecting perspiration. My pale and stoic face appeared before me and I frowned deeper. How do people say I look like my mother? Sure, I had her pin-straight, ebony hair. To me, I look more like my father. My nose was pointed like his and my features were sharp and clean cut like his. I remember how my mother used to joke that my father could cut diamonds with his jawline. My fingers slid along my jaw that I seemed to have also gotten from him. It was weird how now that I thought about it, all I could see was my dad in the mirror. Water pooled and dripped on the ends of my hair while my pale blue-gray eyes gaped back at me. I think they made me look deathly against my pale skin. I just had this aura about me that made me seem so... unapproachable. I wasn't so bad, was I? No, I just don't trust easily. People mistake my trust issues with just plain anger. Yes, I was angry sometimes. I tried not to let my emotions swallow me whole. They were just so persistent all the damn time. With a sigh, I turned away from my reflection and exited the bathroom.
After doing so, I went into my room and threw open my closet. I pulled out some clothes for the day. A pair of white-wash jeans, ending below my knees, that hugged the shape of my legs, effortlessly making them look longer, a black tee-shirt. I towel dried my dark locks and put on a pair of black socks. When I came into the dining room, my mother sat in a chair with a cup of coffee and our local newspaper.
"'Morning." I announced into the room. She looked up and smiled slightly.
"Good morning, Levi." Mom said while taking a sip from her mug. "How are you this morning?"
"Fine." I replied while taking a seat next to her. Her black brow arched.
"Do you want breakfast?" She asked, setting down the paper. My eyes skimmed the article in the middle of the page. Something about our governor, although I didn't exactly care enough to figure out what it was really about.
I shrugged as my answer.
"So, yes? No?"
"No, I'll just have some coffee." I went and poured a cup of black roast caffeine. I drank it at the table while scrolling through my phone.
"I will never understand how you can drink yours black." My mother mumbled into her cup. I looked up and smirked slightly. "Your father tried explaining why he drank it like that, but I still don't understand."
I guess another trait I got from him was how I like my coffee.
"It's just good, I guess." I tilted my head. "Kind of like how you don't like pepperoni on your pizza."
She smiled and chuckled. A light hum came from her as she swallowed more of her drink. "You have an appointment with Dr. Jaeger tomorrow."
I choked on my coffee. It was Thursday already? Damn, that means I have to hang out with Erwin and Hanji today. My neck went limp, not supporting the weight of my head. It fell onto the table as I groaned.
"I made plans with Four Eyes and Captain America today..." My voice muffled against the table, but still provided my mother with my feeling of exhaustion.
"They're your friends and you know you love them." My mother chided as she got up to put her empty cup in the sink.
"I don't think 'love' is the correct word for it... tolerate is more like it." I replied. I could basically hear the of shake her head and laugh quietly to herself.
"What about that day when that guy followed Hanji home and she got scared so she called you? You were at her house and down the guy's throat in ten minutes flat." She smiled and ruffled my hair as she walked by. My eyes rolled, recalling the experience. I've never seen a guy so scared for his own life before. Three punches to his face had him stumbling down the street and, more importantly, away from Hanji.
"No one likes a try hard, Mom." I said, but it was more like "no one likes a stalker". At least he avoids Hanji now, that was all that mattered. In all honesty. Hanji and Erwin were like siblings to me. No matter how many times I pushed them away, they never left me. They never abandoned me for my stubbornness and selfishness. You'd swear they had liquid loyalty running in their vanes instead of blood. I don't really know how we got to be such close friends, but I'd rather not admit how glad it made me we were.
"You were worried about her." She pointed out. After emptying the contents of my cup, I got up an placed my cup in the sink. Mom smiled at me while I did so. Releasing a small scoff, I continued from the kitchen and into the living room. My pocket vibrated, indicating someone was calling me. Betting a weeks worth of bleach that it was Hanji calling me seemed like a safe bet to make. A voice in my head told me to ignore it, but I bypassed that voice and answered it without even checking who it was.
"Levi." I answered into the receiver.
"Good morning, Short Stack!" My lungs expanded in a deep sigh of regret. Of course, my premonition was correct. Hanji's loud greeting gave me slight nausea.
"Four eyes." I wasn't exactly sure why, but Hanji and I were very keen on using nicknames sometimes. We call Erwin "Captain America" because the resemblance between the two are scary accurate. Either that, or "Eyebrows" because let's face it, they could be mistaken as caterpillars. Mine was usually something about my height or dark emotions. I usually called Hanji something like "Four Eyes", pertaining to her large glasses. There were others, but so many I couldn't name them all unless I wanted to be here for at least an hour.
"We're still hanging out with Erwin today right? I feel like it's been forever since I've seen my babes!" She claimed dramatically.
"I'm pretty sure we got together at least a week ago." I reminded her.
"That's a long time, for me." Hearing her pout made me roll my cool grey eyes.
"Separation issues, much..." I muttered under my breath.
"What? Sorry, I didn't hear you." Hanji giggled.
"I said that yes, we are hanging out today."
"Oh, yay! I'll text Erwin to meet at the usual spot then?" She cheered. I sighed again and replied with a yes. She said she'd see me soon and hung up. I put on my black combat boots and called goodbye to my mother. Hopefully, Hanji won't be too energetic today. A few minutes later, I was out the door and down the dead end street. As gracefully as I could, I wound around the plants covering the trail and went down it. The smells and sounds of nature always gave me a sense of peace. I cracked a smile as I found the woods somewhat comforting. It was a shame they had to be so dirty. Eventually, I came into the clearing with a drop off over a small, albeit beautiful, waterfall. Rushing water reached my ears and I breathed in and out deeply. I payed attention to all of the things triggering my senses. The smell of nature, the sound of water, the sight of bright color, the feel of my heart beating throughout my whole body. That one was the most active.
"Levi!" A loud, high pitched yell echoed off of the trees. Just as sudden as the relaxation started, it stopped. Hanji always seemed to be able to ruin a perfectly quiet moment without even trying.
"Yeah, Shit Stain, it's me. Do you really have to yell all the damn time?"I spun around to the tall, gangly girl with auburn hair in a messy ponytail stumbling down the path. Her eyes were wide and looked even larger through her glasses that resembled soup bowls more than anything.
"You know I'm a generally loud person." Hanji replied with as she made it to the clearing without slipping and eating shit, which would have been absolutely hilarious to see. I would laugh myself into exhaustion. She ran towards me and flung herself in my direction.
"No-" I got cut off by catching a giggling mess.
"I missed you, you Grumbling Grouch!" She exclaimed, keeping a tight lock around my shoulders. I groaned and tried pushing her off, but it was no use.
"Hanji, really..." A cool voice said from the direction of the trail. I knew immediately it was Erwin. He always kept himself composed no matter what. The amount of girls crushing on him was endless and relentless. I swore he had his own fan club at school. He appeared around a tree trunk. He wore a classic, white tee-shirt and a pair of long jeans with holes in the knees. His biceps were unbelievably toned, as was his whole body. The man's chest was rock solid. "You know how Levi likes his personal space." The light, blue eyes matched his white-blond hair that was parted to the side and pushed back.
I wanted to thank Erwin a million times for getting the beast to release me from her grasp. She finally composed herself and sat on the bench we lugged here at least three years ago. The blond smiled and greeted me.
"Hello, Levi. How have you been?" He asked, wondering over towards the bench. I scratched the back of my head and sighed.
"Just fine. You, Mr. America?" I asked with a small smirk. I was rewarded with his signature blindingly white smile and chuckle. The man just oozed charm all the time.
"Fine, as well." Erwin replied.
"Anything new in your guy's lives?" Hanji asked, swinging her legs on the bench and smiling deviously.
"Nope." Erwin said, stepping closer. I stayed quiet. I didn't want them to think Eren was anything I was counting on, but I haven't been able to stop thinking about him and his color-changing eyes. The way his dark brown hair frayed just over his eyes and curling at the base of his neck. How his skin is the perfect shade of olive.
"Levi?" I heard. Blinking slowly, I looked up to a confused Erwin and Hanji. Erwin was waving his hand in my face.
"What?" I grunted, embarrassed for getting lost in my thoughts.
"You weren't listening, which means there's something on your mind." Erwin concluded with a smile.
"Spill, you Angry Gnome!" Hanji demanded, standing and getting in my face. I threw together the most irritated glare I could muster and shot it at the two.
"It's nothing worth getting your panties twisted into a knot for." I turned around and hoped to hide the panicked expression I knew was on my face. If they knew about Eren, I would never hear the end of it.
"Is it..." Erwin began, but stopped. "No, it can't be." He continued to mumble to himself and it only spread my patience thinner.
"What're your thoughts, Captain?" Hanji asked Erwin. He hummed thoughtfully.
"Well... The first option I thought of was... a boy." It was no secret I was gay, even though I've never really acted on it. I just know. Sure I'd get little crushes on attractive boys at school,or even rarer, an interest. I decided Eren was an interest, but could you blame me?
"No way! Do you really think Levi has attracted the attention of someone other than the two of us and some acquaintances at school?" Hanji gasped dramatically.
I spun around. "Oh, quit the bullshit." I snapped. Hanji was giggling to herself and Erwin had a faint smile on his face. My cheeks turned red. "His name is Eren." Hanji gasped and jumps a few inches in the air. She squealed and clapped her hands in a fluid motion. Erwin had the epitome of surprised expressions.
"I was right?" I heard him mutter.
"Is he tall? Is he gorgeous? Is he tan or pale? Does he go to school with us?" Hanji rambled on questions and questions.
"I'm not telling you anything else." I then said. There were exasperated groans from both.
"We won't make fun of you!" Hanji pleaded.
"You're aloud to share anything you want with us, but I do indeed want to know about this 'Eren' boy." Captain America said with dashing features.
"Come on. I need details." They kept hounding me and it was incredibly annoying. I didn't know that much about Eren other than he's cute, nice, and interesting. I don't really even know enough to consider this a crush. I mean, he did confide in me about five minutes after we met about his mother and I talked about my dad, something I don't even do with Hanji. There's a mutual feel of trust between us and it was odd. I usually kept to myself about a lot of things but with Eren I just want to talk about them all night long. Is it weird forming an attachment to someone you met only once?
"He's different." I said and paused. What else? I couldn't say anything about his eyes. He may not want people to know, and the chances of them even believing me were slim to none. "A good different." I looked over at Hanji and Erwin, who were grinning stupidly and acting like parents who finds out about their kids first date. I scoffed and began stomping my way to the path up the edge of the woods.
"Levi, wait!"
"I can't tell you anything else! I only just met him. We barely know each other!" I spun around at the attest of a high pitched whine from Hanji's loud mouth.
"At least tell us what he looks like. Surely you can do at least that." Erwin said, smiling at me when I wanted to retch. I rolled my eyes, something I do quite often.
"He's tall. Kind of thin, but kind of muscly. Broad shoulders. I think he may have some kind of Native American blood because his skin is olive looking. Eren's hair is ridiculously curly, messy and dark. He has a lot of it." I paused, trying to think of his face. His face was the best part. "His jawline is pretty strong and his cheeks are so smooth. And oh man..." I grumbled, getting way into this. "His eyes..." I couldn't even describe his eyes to the degree of amazing that they were. "They're a bright emerald green." I finished. "There. Now, I'm leaving." I turned around, my cheeks actually generating an unwanted heat.
"Awe!" Hanji swooned. Erwin chuckled deeply.
"Go get him, Levi!" He called after me as I was halfway out of the woods. I would do no such thing. I stomped onto the empty concrete road. My God, they were annoying sometimes. Why pound on me like a freaking hammer? What's the point?
It least I know they'd be accepting of Eren.
The next day, I woke up at nine as usual, fed Titan and showered. The shower consisted of more scrubbing than usual. I wouldn't want Eren to think I was dirty. When I got out of the shower, I brushed my soaked hair back. A few short strands fell onto my forehead. I put on a black tee-shirt that hung loosely around my hips and midsection. Pants wise, I chose a pair of dark red jeans that ended just below my knees. I folded them up once and decided my white lace up converse that came up to my ankles would make this a nice look. At 10:30, I went into the dining room and kissed my mother on the cheek. She smiled up from her cup of coffee.
"Good morning, dear. Are you ready to go?" She asked, setting it down onto the tabletop.
"Yeah." I said nonchalantly, grabbing an apple from the fruit basket in the kitchen.
"Are you excited?" I looked at her, confused. "To see that Eren boy." Why was everyone concerned about me and Eren? Seriously, nothing was going to happen. I doubt he even likes guys. All the good guys are straight, usually. At least the ones I know.
"Mother..." I groaned. She giggled and grabbed her car keys off of the rack.
We drove up to the Jaeger's house. Dr. Jaeger was okay but... there was something off about him. He was a good doctor and everything, but sometimes he gives me the chills. I slowly chewed on my apple and thought about the wary looks Eren gave his father, like he made him uneasy as well. My mother dropped me off, giving me a knowing look. With a small glare, I slammed the passenger door shut.
A maid answered the door and I greeted her.
"Eren, please don't be so difficult." I heard the familiar voice say from the living room off to the side. Eren stood, leaning against the piano with his arms tensely crossed over his chest. His father stood across from him with a strained facial expression.
"No, I'm not telling you anything about her." He replied, not looking up from the spot on the floor where he stared.
"Why not? What do you have to protect?" Dr. Jaeger seemed to be losing his patience with his son, his voice raising. I'd never seen it before, usually him being soft spoken. Eren looked up at him, his eyes darker than I would've expected. They were a murky, pine green.
"That doesn't concern you." He answered, anger hanging onto his words.
"Like hell!" His father broke, screaming in Eren's face. I wanted to jump in and get him to back off. Whatever it was, Eren was obviously in discomfort. Noting the heavy air, Dr. Jaeger's hand clenched and loosened at his side, knuckles white. The idea that he may even hit his son popped into my head. I should have brushed it off immediately, but for some reason I wouldn't put it past him.
"Dr. Jaeger." I said into the room, voice stern. Eren blinked and looked over at me. His eyes brightened significantly. "Sorry to interrupt, but I believe we have an appointment today."
Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat and turned my way while adjusting his lapels. Any past evidence of anger dissipated. "Ah, Levi. I apologize. Of course, lets head to my office, shall we?" He moved towards the double doors of his office, while I stared after him in disgust.
"Hey, sorry about that..." Eren said suddenly, appearing next to me out of no where. I turned to look at him. His eyes were a deep turqoise. Not bright, but how was they supposed to look while just arguing with his father? Bags formed below them, slowly turning purplish. Does he have issues sleeping? It seemed he had gotten a hair cut since I'd last seen him. It was still curly and messy, but damn it looked good. He wore a grey, loose fit tank top with long jeans that hugged his legs divinely.
"It's fine, don't worry about it. I was... more concerned for you, honestly." Looking away awkwardly, I scratched the back of my neck while doing so.
"You shouldn't be." Glancing back at him, Eren shrugged his muscled shoulders. "He doesn't scare me. I've dealt with worse."
"But still." I sighed. "Right, well I ought to go into this appointment. Talk to you after?" Eren smiled at my words, eyes swirling with a different variation. He bobbed his head up and down in response.
Eren
Levi went through the double doors, shutting them behind him. I sighed stress-fully. Why did my dad suddenly become such an asshole? I'd never seen that much rage in one man before, especially him. He always seemed to calm and collected. But his eyes were enraged and I noticed how much he looked like he wanted to hit something. Or someone. Like me. I rubbed my temples tiredly.
Maybe I could take a nap before Levi was done with his session. But what if I overslept and missed him? I suppose I could ask Mikasa to wake me up when he was done... Would she? I could only ask. Stepping up the stairs, I found Mikasa in her room with quiet music playing and reading a book. I knocked, she looked up.
"Hey, what's up?" She sat up on her bed and put her book down onto her lap.
"I was going to take a nap until Levi was done with his session, but I was afraid I'd oversleep. Can you wake me up when he's done?" I asked hopefully. Mikasa looked at me for a while with narrowed eyes.
"Sure." She said uneasily. Suddenly she waved me off. Furrowing my brow, I nodded my thanks and left her bedroom. I went down the hall and into mine, ready to at least try and fall asleep.
Levi
I left my session feeling somewhat refreshed. Talking about your problems does seem to help at least some. I went into the living room and expected to see Eren. When he wasn't there, I began thinking. Mikasa came into the living room while carrying a bowl of orange slices.
"Hey, Mikasa." I said. She looked up and I swore I saw the remnants of smirk on her face. When Mikasa shows and form of emotion on her face, it's usually not a good sign. "Have you seen Eren? We were supposed to hang out after my session..."
"He's up in his room sleeping. He told me to tell you that he was going to take a nap. You can go and wake him up if you want. I'm sure he'd want you to." I stared at her odd expression I just couldn't place. Was that a good idea? Probably not. Did I really want to hang out with him? Yes, I did. I'd looked forward to it since last week.
"Where's his room?" I relented. She smiled slightly larger before motioning me to follow her. Somehow, I knew this was going to be embarrassing. Mikasa opened the door we stopped at. My heart began beating quicker once I saw Eren. He was curled into a ball on his side, on top of the covers on a queen sized bed. The room was silent, allowing his deep and constant breaths to reach my ears. For a moment, I just simply stared at his sleeping figure. Mikasa was suddenly gone, leaving me with the one kid that made me more nervous than anyone before. I gulped. Slowly, I walked into the room and quietly shut the door behind me. He hadn't moved. I approached the bed and kept my sights on him. Now that his face was entirely slack compared to when he was awake, I noticed how utterly tired it was. Bags under his eyes were prominent, his cheeks sunken and pale. What went on in his head? Is his suffering so horrible? On it's own accord, my hand reached out and brushed a piece of oak brown hair from his cheekbone. When my finger brushed his skin, his face relaxed slightly. Maybe subconsciously knowing someone was here and watching over him gave some type of comfort.
Drawing my hand away, I tried to decide if I should really wake him up. It would be awkward, no less. Why wouldn't Mikasa just do it? No doubt he asked her to wake him up herself, but she wants me to do it? She obviously has something against me so it would be imperative she tries to embarrass me in front of Eren as much as possible. I sighed quietly. What a manipulator she is...
The rustle of fabric brought my attention back to Eren. He was now rolling over continuously. Mumbling under his breath soon became louder. Sweat began to slick his skin and his breathing became rapid. Was he having a nightmare?
It all made sense. He didn't sleep because he didn't want to, he had perpetual nightmares. I've had experiences with them as well, everyone has. But not so bad that I could never sleep. I guess now would be a good time to wake him up. A look of pain overtook the once calm face. His fingers twisted into the blanket while rapid breathing heaved his chest up and down. He really needed to wake up.
"Eren" I said, kind of loudly. I took my hand and shook his arm. I jumped back as he gasped and shot forward. My face froze in complete dismay as his eyes were glowing the brightest blue I've ever seen. The room, coated in a blue hue for a few seconds, soon changed back as Eren leaned his face in the bedspread. I stood with my arms out beside me. What the fuck was that?!
Eren breathed deeply, in and out. His chest expanded through his back.
"...Eren?" I asked. He jumped backwards, then crawling backwards to the far end of the bed.
"Levi?!" He practically screamed. His cheeks flooded with color. We simply stared at each other for moments. He still gulped air down like it was going to run out and his eyes still looked crazy.
"Um, sorry..." I apologized. "I didn't mean to scare you." Brown tufts of hair moving with him, his head swung back and forth as he composed himself.
"No, don't worry about it." He paused, a look of utter confusion overcoming his features. "Not to be rude, but why are you in here? Mikasa was supposed to wake me up when you got done with my dad." So I was right. She was behind this.
"Oh, just Mikasa being a manipulative little shit. Nothing new." I shrugged. Suddenly, I turned serious. "You were having a nightmare." I confirmed. Eren's eyes were a very dark and clouded pine. Said eyes avoided me.
Eren climbed out of bed and went to his dresser. He pulled out a red tank top and threw it on his bed. "It happens." He mumbled. My cheeks burned a little as he ripped his shirt off to replace it with the red one. It seemed fairly obvious that he didn't want to talk about it.
"You don't have to talk about it. I hate it when people try to force me to talk about things that bother me. It makes me mad." He looked up at me. In the time he woke up, his irises had grown a little brighter. He smiled slightly.
"Thanks." I guess I somehow knew how to treat him. It seemed like he had a lot of the coping mechanisms I do. He doesn't like being pushed. Maybe I was finally realizing why I can deal with him so well.
"Do you want to go to the pond?" He asked. It seemed he wanted to, so who was I to deny?
"Sure. Lets go."
IM SO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG I AM VERY UPSET WITH MYSELF