Disclaimer- Sometimes, at night, lying there in bed, I dream and fantasize of owning all of these wondrous, fantastical, and prettyful novels. Including Ender's Shadow. But alas, oh woe of woes! I do not.
PrincessEilonwy- Thank you for all of your wonderful reviews! I love my adoring fans! (For this story, that's really only you, but, oh well. I love you anyways!)
A.N. Toodle doo, booboos, will forever remain a mystery to you unless you attended the Arnone School. Also, I know Bean sounds a little too much like Artemis Fowl in this chapter, but the clerk deserved it.
Dedicated to my beautiful keyboard that I can type so quickly and beautifully on.
Chapter 4- The first shop.
Boom! A blinding flash of white light and the weary travelers were deposited onto the streets of Rotterdam, to perform the world's most despicable, horrifying, tormenting task of all tasks.
"Ah, yes. Here you are, Bean, and all of your wonderful little friends, too," Sister Carlotta had just stepped out of a building.
"Excuse me, but some of us are not that little!" Carn said indignantly.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Yes, you really aren't all that little, are you?" Sister Carlotta apologized to him and Petra.
"Hello, Sister Carlotta," Bean greeted her.
"Oh, so you're the Sister Carlotta that found Bean. Very pleased to meet you. I always thought that you would be really nice," Nikolai flattered the sister.
"Why, thank you. You seem like a nice boy too. Now, I have a task for all of you. This time, the adventure won't be so crazy. But it is torture. It is the very heart of evil itself. It is…" She paused dramatically for effect. "The holiday shopping!"
"No!" the kids all gasped in terror. How could the black hole, however crazy and kooky and zany, be this evil enough to force them to do this? It was horrifying!
"Sister Carlotta, are you sure? The black hole is making us do this? What if we don't survive? Battle School is going to get sued by loads and loads of parents and guardians for the deranged game and it won't have enough money left to train us properly to defeat the Buggers," Ender, as always, was worried about the Bugger war.
"Yes, unfortunately, it is. You must do as it directs you, otherwise you'll never get back to Battle School," Sister Carlotta explained to them.
"Now, here is my list. You must get each item on the list, otherwise it doesn't count." She handed the list to Petra, and pointed in the direction of the stores, and off the fivesome went.
"Toodle doo, booboos!" Everyone thought, "What?"
Several minutes of walking later.
"Well, here we are, people. At the (gasp) mall. Now, first we need to get a frilly, bright pink party dress with tons of ribbons and lace on it. For Sister Carlotta's niece," Petra read off. The group headed into the Little Girls' Ridiculous Dresses store. They split up, and found blues, whites, purples, and yellows, but surprisingly, no pink dresses.
"We're, (gulp) have to ask someone for help!" Nikolai wailed. (He had a bad history with store clerks.)
Bean took a deep breath, which may very well be his last, and walked over to the cash register. There was a tiny problem, though. Bean's head didn't even go up to the top of the desk. This made it doubly hard for him to speak up. He cleared his throat.
"Um, excuse me," he asked in the Dutch he hadn't spoken for so long.
"Huh? Who's talking?" The man behind the register looked around.
"Down here, mister," Bean told him.
"Oh, wow you're a little kid. What are you, three? Where's your mommy, kid?" the rude clerk asked.
"For your information, I am six years old. I have no idea who or where my mother is, and if you are going to waste my time asking silly questions, then I had better go find someone else to assist me," Bean coolly replied.
"Hey, no offense, kid. What do you need?" he asked.
"I need a frilly, bright pink party dress with tons of ribbons and lace on it," Bean read right off the list.
"Hmmm. We might be out of that, extremely popular, you know, but let me go check in our storage room," he said as he flounced over to a small door in the corner. The kids could now see what he was wearing. And it was enough to give anybody nightmares. He was wearing a lavender apron with a big picture of a pansy on it, a bright red mini-skirt, turquoise tights, and glittering green high heels.
"That guy has a very interesting fashion choice," Carn commented. "What did he say, Bean?"
"He said that the store might be out, but he'd check in the storage room. How long do you think it will take? If it takes too long, we all might catch the deadly plague of ridiculousness!" Bean whispered.
"Bean. We attend Battle School. We wear uniforms. How are we going to exercise a sense of ridiculousness there?" Ender said.
"I don't know. But this plague is highly contagious. It could destroy our personality forever!" They waited for a few minutes. And a few more minutes. And a few more minutes.
"Where is that guy?" Petra asked. And then, he came out.
"Now, little munchkin. What size did you say you wanted?" the clerk asked. He held up the dress. Way too big for the niece, but just right for … Petra!
"Hey, is it for you? Well try it on!" the clerk dragged Petra away to the dressing room.
"You guys! Save me! I'm being abducted! I'll be tortured! Nooooooo!" the poor victim screamed. The boys could only look on helplessly. They heard screams, and the clerk insisting that she put it on, and then- she came out. The sight was even worse that the clerk himself. She looked… pink. And frilly. And ribbony. And absolutely ridiculous. It was shocking.
Finally, Bean managed to speak. "Um, the dress wasn't for her. We need a size five, please."
"Well, why didn't you say so? I'll get for you right away." The clerk flounced off yet again. Several moments later, he came out holding the correct dress. The kids paid, Petra put her Phoenix Army uniform back on, and they all fled the horrendous store.