Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi.
~~~x-You-x~~~
"Why'd you do it?" Adam asked, tears in his eyes.
"I can't live without him, Adam." I said.
"You can't keep doing this." He said, picking up my bandaged wrist and examining it. I pulled away.
"I'll do whatever it takes to make the pain go away." I said, sharply.
"Yea, well, you're on suicide watch. And guess who's here to watch you?" I rolled my eyes when he said this.
"I'm not a child."
"Well, your acting like one. Grow up, Clare. And stop using your wrists as your own personal cutting board." He said, disgusted. Adam got up and walked around my bedroom.
"You really are just a ball of sunshine, aren't you?" I asked, sarcastically.
"And you are?"
"Don't you have a life?"
"Yea I do. But I have to spend it here so I don't have to plan another funeral!" He yelled.
"You're so fucking dramatic."
"Yea and you're a bitch." He spat. Anger boiled inside of me.
"Go jump off a cliff."
"Maybe I fucking will! Then you kill yourself, and then the golden trio will all be together again!" He yelled. He sat down on the edge of my bed and put his head in his hands.
"Are you crying?" I asked, shocked. He looked up, tears were pouring down his face.
"When…Alli…called me. She said you slit you wrists. I thought the worst. I thought you were dead. I can't lose you Clare. You're my best friend." He cried. And I crawled over to him and put my arm around him.
"I'm right here. Shh. Stop crying." My heart was breaking.
"I need you to move on, Clare. You're like a walking, talking, zombie."
"I can't, Adam. I will never be able too. So stop asking me to do the impossible." I said, retracting my arm. He nodded.
"Clare?"
"Yea?"
"I love you to death, you know that right?" He asked. I nodded. "I'm going to get something to eat. You want anything?"
"No thanks." I said and he walked out.
Dear Eli,
I made Adam cry. How many times have we seen Adam cry? Once or twice? It broke my heart. It was like seeing you cry. You never cry. Maybe I should start talking in passed tense. Apparently, the police are still looking for you. You can be lying in a ditch somewhere and no one would know. Lovely, right? Adam is my suicide watcher. Fun. Well, I think I hear Adam coming back from getting some food. I love you.
Clare
"Dude, you have nothing to eat. I searched that whole kitchen. Lets order something." He said, plopping down on my bed.
"Yea sure, just let me go to the bathroom." I said.
"Clare…" He said, giving me a look.
"I have to pee, Adam. Would you like to join me?" I asked and he shook his head.
"Don't do anything stupid."
~~~x-Adam's Point Of View-x~~~
I looked to where Clare had been sitting before, and I saw a box. I looked toward the bathroom door to make sure Clare was still in there. I picked up the box.
"My box of letters?" I snorted. Original. I opened the lid to see hundreds of letters all with the same name on them. Eli. I opened the one at the top and read it through. She writes to him?
"What are you doing?" A voice asked, startling me and making me drop the letter.
"I was umm…"
"Looking through my stuff? Adam that's private!" She said, picking up the letter and putting it back in the box.
"You write to him?"
"I don't write to him, I just put my feelings on paper." She said, pushing the box underneath her bed.
"Let him go, Clare." I said.
"I can't!" She screamed, sobs wracking her body. I pulled her into a hug.
"We'll start off small, okay?" I asked and she nodded. "Why don't we go get your haircut?"
"Okay." She mumbled.
~~~x-The Dot-x~~~
"I missed having short hair." I said, shaking my curly hair. Me and Adam sat down outside the Dot.
"You look better." Adam said, a small smile on his face. I pulled out my carton of cigarettes and Adam takes them away.
"What the hell?"
"Small steps. Smoking is one of them. While you were getting your hair done, I went to the Drug store and got you Nicotine Gum." He said, pulling out a box and handing it to me.
"You have got to be kidding me."
"Nope. And I also cleaned out all the liquor in your cabinets."
"Your ruining my life, Adam." I said and he shook his head.
"No, I'm making it better."
~~~x-Clare's House-x~~~
"Isn't Fiona gonna be wondering where you are?" Clare asked.
"No, she's at Declan's condo in New York." I said, twirling the spaghetti around my fork.
"And you didn't go?"
"Your on Suicide watch, remember?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.
"I knew there was reason you have been following me around all day." She said, sarcastically.
"Funny."
"You know you could have gone. I would have gotten Alli to come and watch me."
"Are you forgetting that Alli hates you?" I asked.
"Oh yea." She let out a forced laugh.
"Alli is our next small step, we're gonna take." I said.
"She's done with me. Didn't I tell you?"
"Pregnancy hormones." I said.
"No I think she's seriously done with me. Apparently, trying to kill myself twice is a bad thing." She said with an eye roll.
"Really? I thought it was a good thing!" Clare hit me in the arm.
"Hey, I'm the only one allowed to make smart ass comments." We laughed. The phone started ringing and Clare didn't move.
"No sit down your highness, let me get the phone." I said sarcastically. She laughed.
"Hello?"
~~~x-Clare's Point of View-x~~~
I watched Adam's facial expressions. It went from happy to sad and to shocked. He hung up the phone. He seemed to be unable to move.
"Adam? Who was it?" I asked, standing up.
"They….they found Eli."
~~~x-The End-x~~~
Author's Note: Who's a bitch? I'm a bitch! Thanks for all the reviews. I love you all to death no joke. And follow my twitter Witch_At_Heart. REVIEW!
Charlotte