Chapter 4

Human Touch

"You and me we were the pretenders
We let it all slip away
In the end what you don't surrender
Well the world just strips away

Girl, ain't no kindness in the face of strangers
Ain't gonna find no miracles here
Well you can wait on your blesses my darlin'
But I got a deal for you right here

I ain't lookin' for praise or pity
I ain't comin' 'round searchin' for a crutch
I just want someone to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch

Ain't no mercy on the streets of this town
Ain't no bread from heavenly skies
Ain't nobody drawin' wine from this blood
It's just you and me tonight

Tell me, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want something to hold on to
And a little of that Human Touch
Just a little of that Human Touch

Oh girl that feeling of safety you prize
Well it comes at a hard hard price
You can't shut off the risk and the pain
Without losin' the love that remains
We're all riders on this train

So you've been broken and you've been hurt
Show me somebody who ain't
Yeah, I know I ain't nobody's bargain
But, hell, a little touchup
and a little paint...

You might need somethin' to hold on to
When all the answers, they don't amount to much
Somebody that you could just to talk to
And a little of that Human Touch

Baby, in a world without pity
Do you think what I'm askin's too much
I just want to feel you in my arms
Share a little of that Human Touch
Feel a little of that Human Touch
Give me a little of that Human Touch"

Human Touch, by Bruce Springsteen; off Human Touch, 1992

November 2010

Las Vegas

"Carlisle, you need to stop this, right now!" Edward yelled, crossing his arms in defiance. The men stood outside Esme's brand new Audi S4, glaring at each other. Edward consciously stood a foot from the end of the vehicle, preventing her from backing out of the driveway.

"She's made her decision, Edward," Carlisle said, unfazed by his son's aggressiveness.

"No, she didn't make a decision! You talked her into this! She listens to everything you have to say, just like I did. But I draw the line here. This stops right fucking now!"

In the front seat, Esme was brushing tears from her eyes. Alice, Edward's younger sister, sat in passenger seat next to her mother. She stared down at her lap, not wanting to get involved in the argument between her brother and father.

The psychiatrist that their father forced on her called it "mania". After years of Alice taking drugs to regulate her "disorder", it was determined that electroconvulsive therapy was the next best course. Edward didn't care that the doctor's had told them it was a perfectly safe course of treatment. He thought the whole process was barbaric.

Alice was always a vibrant, happy person. She was twenty-three years old and absolutely beautiful. She was short in stature with dark brown hair that she liked to wear short. She had bright blue eyes and pale skin that made her look a bit like a porcelain doll. Edward knew that if Carlisle hadn't interfered with her life, she could have gone to college, maybe met somebody, and off somewhere living her own life. She had so much potential. Instead, he let her believe she was sick, and that she needed to stay home and be cared for.

Since she started high school, Alice talked nonstop about these "visions" she had, and at first, her parents would just dismiss it. "There's something wrong with that girl," Esme would say jokingly to Carlisle every now and then, and he'd answer with a humorless laugh.

But Edward believed. His sister was eccentric, but not crazy. For that reason, he begged and pleaded with Alice to keep her visions to herself, but she'd always let them slip, as if she had no control over her own tongue.

As far as Edward was concerned, Carlisle had brainwashed her. He convinced her that she wasn't seeing the visions she believed to see, that she was mentally ill. It made Edward sick, because he'd seen firsthand the rare gift she had. All Carlisle did was tell Alice there was something wrong with her.

"Edward, she's made her choice. Step away from your mother's car so they can leave."

Edward chanced a glance at Alice, who still stared forlornly at her lap, staying out of the argument. In a last ditch effort, Edward rushed to the passenger door and ripped it open.

"Ally," he begged, cupping her cheek in one hand and begging her to look at him. "You don't have to do this, sweetheart. There is nothing wrong with you- nothing! You can come live with me. Fuck it, we can leave this city. We'll leave tonight. Don't let them do this to you. There is nothing wrong with you."

Alice's eyes glazed over for a second, and she closed them briefly. When she opened them again, Edward swore that he could see a hint of happiness in there for the first time in a long time. She'd clearly had some sort of vision.

"Oh, Edward, she's beautiful," Alice whispered, her eyes still slightly unfocused. "She's perfect. You can leave when the time is right, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay."

Edward wished he could see into her mind when she started describing her visions, because sometimes they were downright cryptic. Who was beautiful? Leave for where?

As the Audi pulled out, Edward pinched the bridge of his nose tightly, willing the pain in his chest to go away. He turned to scream at Carlisle once more for letting this happen, when he heard an ear-piercing screech, coming from several hundred feet down the residential street.

"Edward!" Alice shrieked. He ran to her side.

"Ally, what is it? Did you change your mind?"

Alice looked at him with questioning eyes, and then shook her head a little as if to clear it. "I couldn't leave without telling you…"

"Telling me what, Ally?" Edward begged.

"When she spills her drink on you… don't yell at her. She didn't mean to." Alice smiled conspiratorially, as Esme peeled away once again, tears still streaming down her face.

March 2011

Atlantic City

Edward stopped dead in his tracks as the memory of the last time he saw his sister hit him with the force of a freight train.

"When she spills her drink on you…"

Was it possible? Alice had visions most of her adult life, ones that Edward knew tended to come true, but he never remembered her having one so clear as to being able to describe a specific detail.

Bella spilled her drink on him.

With a serene smile, Edward muttered to himself, "You were right, Ally. She's fucking beautiful."

Edward longed for two things right then. The first was to call his sister, but he knew that was impossible. The day after his mother had taken her to the "rest facility" as she so eloquently labeled it, Edward attempted to visit her and was turned away. He was told that his parents hadn't put him on the "list" for visitation. This infuriated him.

A heated argument with his parents followed. Edward accused Carlisle once again of brainwashing her, and he accused his mother of letting it happen. He insisted there wasn't anything wrong with Alice, but that Carlisle let her believe there was, enough to scaring her into getting electroconvulsive therapy to stop the visions.

Unfortunately, as his parents were her legal guardians, there was nothing he could do. He wasn't even allowed to call her. Three months had gone by without him even hearing the sound of her voice. His mother would tell him that she was okay, she was "resting," but Edward didn't even really know what that meant. His mother always had a bit of a skewed view of the world.

The second thing he longed for was to rush back to the bar and get Bella's phone number. Unfortunately his cell rang again, alerting him to another urgent text message from Emmett. Something was wrong upstairs. Duty called, and the beautiful girl would have to wait.

As he rushed to the security office, he tried to talk himself out of searching for her later. Volterra was still a very new establishment, and there were a lot of kinks that needed to be worked out. He knew from past dealings with his father that the casino business was one that monopolized all the time of the manager. He'd seen firsthand what working those kinds of hours could do to a wife and a family.

He didn't even know her, but somehow he knew that this girl was better than that.

But he couldn't get her out of his mind. She'd been dressed so plainly and simply, so unlike the "casino bunnies" (as Emmett liked to call them), who hung around wearing too much makeup and clothing that was too tight and revealing.

He thought about her soft, silken brown hair, her deep chocolate colored eyes, and her pink, pouty lips. He remembered her angelic voice as she tried to apologize for something that clearly wasn't her fault.

He longed for nothing more than just to touch her, and feel her soft skin beneath his fingertips. It had been so long since he had a woman in his life, he could hardly remember what that felt like.

Despite his self-loathing, and knowing that he just wasn't good enough for her, he selfishly hoped he'd see her again.

Jasper strode into the third floor poker room with his head up and shoulders high, but inside he was shaking. He had no idea what to expect.

The room was themed, just as most of the casino was. The large poker table that graced the center of the room was covered in the standard maroon fabric, and fake but classy looking candelabras lined the walls, bathing the room in an eerie glow. The chairs looked like throne chairs- high backed and made of a dark, rich wood. Sitting around the table were a few unassuming characters, an older couple and a man who looked like he had probably just gotten off of work, the top button of his collared shirt open and his tie draped around his neck.

In the corner was a lounge area with a few large, comfortable looking armchairs. That was where he spotted James, who was sitting with his back to Jasper.

Physically, James wasn't very intimidating. He was thin and average height, his sandy blonde hair was long and straight, usually worn in a ponytail. Despite his plain appearance, his eyes were chilling. They were cold and hard, so dark they were almost black. His mouth was almost always curved into a sinister smirk that chilled Jasper to the bone.

Jasper cleared his throat, and James turned around. "Ah, Jasper, right on time. I was wondering if you'd show up at all. This is my friend Demetri." Jasper reached out to shake Demetri's hand politely, but kept quiet. "We were just about to leave, care to come with us?"

Jasper's mind flashed back to what Bella had said earlier in the day. "Seems like a pretty crowded and high profile place to be meeting someone about a shady business deal."

He knew she was right- she always was. He had only argued with her because he knew in his heart that he was out of options. He wasn't sure that teaming up with James would be the answer to all his problems, but he knew he had to try.

So he followed James and Demetri blindly out to the parking garage, which was connected to the third floor by a raised walkway. They approached a black Escalade with tinted windows and Jasper let out a low whistle. James looked at him sharply, and Jasper looked down at his shoes muttering, "Nice ride."

James smirked as he pressed a button to unlock the doors. "Thanks."

Jasper stood a couple feet back from the truck, waiting for instructions. He was surprised when he saw Demetri get in the driver's seat, while James got in the back. When the rear passenger door opened opposite of James, Jasper took that as an invitation to get inside.

Once out of the garage and driving down the strip, James finally turned to Jasper. "So, you want to come work for me?"

Jasper chose his next words carefully, "I want to know more before I agree to anything."

"Relax, man," James said, practically sniffing out Jasper's fear. "We don't sign contracts and shit. There's only one rule- if you fuck with me or my money, I will find you," he sneered. Leaning into Jasper a bit, he hissed into his ear, "It's kind of my specialty."

Jasper cringed from the uncomfortable intrusion on his personal space. James was so close he could smell the faint hint of cigar smoke on his breath. "So why did you want me?"

"Like I told you before when we first met, I see natural talent in you. You read people so well. I thought you'd make a nice addition to the business."

"What business?" Jasper asked.

"Money; plain and simple. What you have yet to realize is that Atlantic City has a thriving underground. There's gambling without the restrictions of the casino control commission, prostitution, drugs, crime. I have my hands in all of it."

"Like the mob?" Jasper asked, raising his eyebrows in disbelief.

"Do I look fucking Italian to you?" James snapped. Jasper flinched at his tone of voice, but when James smirked, he relaxed realizing he was kidding.

"So where do I fit in?" he asked again.

"Like I said before, I'll front you the cash and get you into some games, and all you have to do is win. I take fifty percent of all your winnings. Simple."

Jasper's eyes widened in disbelief. "You said twenty-five percent," he argued. Taking half of his winnings would just be criminal.

"Look, junior. You can take it or leave it. If you don't want in, Demetri can pull over, and you can get out right now. I'm sure you're just dying to go back to that hot piece of ass who follows you around. Honestly, I don't know what she sees in you. Go ahead back to your cheap ass motel room and put her back to work with that little scheme you've been running for three years. I'm sure she doesn't mind pretending to be a different person every night for ten or twelve hours at a stretch, just so she can make enough money to feed your sorry ass that night."

Jasper paled. He never told James about his and Bella's schemes, or anything about their lives. He obviously knew much more than Jasper thought he did, and that didn't sit well with him.

James was powerful; he clearly had connections. He had the stance and personality of a man you didn't want to fuck with, and as he so eloquently stated, he had his hands in everything. Jasper suddenly found himself afraid to say 'no.'

He was left with two options- play or run. If he kept a low profile, accepted the cash, and paid James on time, eventually he could make enough so that he could break out on his own. He and Bella could find a nice town to live in, maybe rent a real apartment, and they could start over.

He could send Bella to school…

The other option was living the way they currently were. Bella was unhappy with this life, and so that wasn't an option anymore.

Jasper briefly pondered a third option. They could go to the government and get assistance in restoring their identities. They would need real driver's licenses and social security cards, so that they could get real jobs, but they would probably end up on government assistance anyway. Neither of them even had a high school diploma.

A brief image of Bella wearing a loose fitting hotel maid's uniform fluttered into his mind. A minimum wage job would be okay for someone like Jasper, but Bella deserved so much more. Jasper thought she should be working for the CIA, or NASA, or teaching at MIT.

So he'd do it. He'd risk everything, because she deserved it. Even if James was a shady character, at least he provided some financial hope for the future.

Knowing already that he would do whatever James asked of him, he said, "I don't suppose I need to ask what happens if I can't pay?"

James' cold, hard stare told him all he needed to know.

By the time Jasper and James finished their negotiations, they were clear on the other end of the boardwalk from Volterra. Jasper didn't dare ask for a ride back, instead getting out of the car quickly and making his way to the nearest casino, some two hundred yards down the boardwalk. He sat out front and waited for the Jitney to roll past so he could catch a ride back to Volterra.

In his front pocket were two thousand dollars cash, and a list of dates and addresses. He was to report to James weekly- they would meet at Volterra and conduct any further business in the Escalade. Jasper would pay him what was due, and then receive another assignment.

As Jasper checked for the fifth time to make sure the money was still in his pocket, he wondered what the consequence would be of simply taking off with the cash. Two thousand dollars was a lot for someone like him, enough to get him started.

"There's only one rule- if you fuck with me or my money, I will find you. It's kind of my specialty."

It wasn't worth the risk.

Once the Jitney dropped Jasper off in front of Volterra, he made his way to the bar where Bella was still waiting. Nearly an hour had passed since he left her, but she didn't seem annoyed in the slightest, just sipping her drink and staring off into space.

Jasper pulled up the stool next to her and signaled the bartender. After the evening's events, he figured a drink was in order.

"How'd it go?" Bella asked.

"Good, I guess. We can talk at home though." He ordered a drink as Bella scoffed.

"Home, right. Where might home be this evening?" Even though she said it in a joking voice, Jasper could detect a hint of frustration.

"I have somewhere I need to be tomorrow. I'm told there's a motel right near it. I'll figure we'll start there."

He couldn't help but notice the disappointed look in Bella's eyes. They both sipped their drinks silently, and Jasper paid the tab.

As Demetri had promised, there was a small motel directly across the street from the old tavern where high limit games took place in the back room. The tavern was his first assignment.

He only paid for one night in the motel, and lead Bella up the stairs to the room. He was quite unimpressed by the surroundings. "Bella, I don't like this neighborhood. If I'm not with you, I don't want you leaving the room."

"I'm not the shy teenager you need to protect anymore, Jasper. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," Jasper muttered, looking around the room. In the center of the small room was a bed with a thin mattress and a metal frame. The wallpaper was yellowed and dated, peeling off the walls in some places. There was an old television set propped up on a wooden dresser- one of the old box sets with bad reception. Neither bothered to unpack their duffle bags, both hoping they wouldn't have to stay long.

Bella decided to take a shower, and while she did, Jasper studied the map he'd taken from the car, located the different addresses he was given. In the morning he knew he'd have to find a public library or Internet café to plan where they would eat and sleep for the next week.

Bella had emerged from the bathroom by the time Jasper finished refolding the map. She was wearing a pair of low-riding sleep pants and a Superman shirt that was just a little too short to cover her entire midriff. She was towel drying her hair when she came back into the room, and when she tossed the towel in the corner, a mess of damp waves fell around her head.

Jasper could swear she got sexier every day.

He took a turn in the shower- partly to wash away the filth of the day, and partly to get his thoughts under control.

She doesn't want you, he told himself. You ruined her life.

When he calmed himself enough, he threw on an old pair of sweats and joined Bella in the other room. She was sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth, something Jasper knew she only did when she was really concerned about something.

"What's wrong?" Jasper asked gently, sitting across from her so that he could see her face.

"Why are you doing this, Jasper? We've always been fine by ourselves, why bring someone else in? I've seen enough bad television in my life to know that when you take loans from people, or work for bad people, bad things happen. When did we become that desperate? When did we become those people?"

"First of all we didn't. You're staying out of this, completely." Jasper shuddered as he remembered how much James seemed to know about Bella. "Second, I am doing this for you, for us. We can't keep living the way we've been. James has connections. If I keep my head down and do my job, it can open up something bigger down the road. This is just a stepping stone."

Bella's lower lip trembled then, and Jasper's heart broke. She didn't cry often, but every time a tear fell it tore away a piece of his soul. He wrapped his arms around her immediately, and she clutched him back, squeezing as if she was holding on for dear life.

"Jasper, if anything happens to you…" she sobbed. "I swear to God…"

"Shh," he whispered, stroking her hair. "Nothing's going to happen to me. I swear I will be just fine. You believe me, right?" He pulled back from her just enough to look at her face, without breaking their embrace.

One look into her sad eyes told him that no, she didn't believe that.

He was going to have to prove it to her.

A/N- Sorry, no Edward/Bella interaction in this chapter. It's coming, don't worry! Thanks for everyone reading and reviewing! You rock my world!

Update 11.7.11- I have exciting news! This story has been recommended for Fic of the Week on the Lemonade Stand. Please go vote if you're so inclined! Polls close on Wednesday... tehlemonadestand. blogspot. com