DISCLAIMER: We do not own Twilight or any of the characters, sadly. Though we do wish we owned this very naughty, French-speaking Edward. Well, okay we do own him. Oh joy! The plot is ours as well. You do not have our permission to plagiarize or copy this story. You do have permission to fantasize about Edward bending you over and… we'll leave some of that to your imagination.

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Alice rambled endlessly once we were back in the car. Jasper was quiet and shot me several sympathetic glances. It didn't matter, I had long tuned out Alice. My thoughts were occupied with Bella. In the course of just a few hours my mood had changed from sullen to ecstatic. What a small world it was indeed! Bella, my Bella, lived just hours from me and there she was. To add the icing to the cake, I had kissed her. I touched my lips remembering the sensation.

"So when are you going to tell her that you're in love with her?" Alice's question pulled me instantly from my reverie.

"Excuse me?" I questioned, stalling for time.

She rolled her eyes dramatically and flopped back into her seat. "It's written all over your face. You're completely addicted to the girl. So when are you going to grow a pair and tell her how you feel?" Jasper stifled a laugh and I glared at him. Manners, Edward, manners. She is a woman after all. Albeit a tiny one.

"It's a simple case of infatuation," I lied, hoping to throw her off the trail. The last thing I needed was a meddling Alice when Bella had already run from me once. Alice and her exuberance were sure to do it again.

"Of course," she replied sweetly, a little too innocently. "And I will be a virgin on my wedding day." Jasper coughed an uncomfortable laugh again. "We're all in on it, Edward, so you better start fessing up."

I sighed in exasperation but at last she gave up and started planning her spa and shopping day. That left me alone with my thoughts. Did I love Bella? Doubtful. I had known her for mere hours regardless of the time that I spent thinking about her. She had certainly left quite the impression on me. After all, it wasn't every woman that would leave me a thong after a one night stand. And it certainly wasn't every thong that I would hold on to as a token of said one night stand. I suppose a part of me still hoped that it had been something more. That brought a smile to my lips as I realized that I now had that opportunity. But love? I sighed. No, it wasn't love. Just infatuation and intrigue. The newness and curiosity would eventually wear off and Bella would be no different than every other predictable female in the world. I would just have to enjoy my time with her until that happened and I grew bored and distractible again.

Shopping with them had been… amusing, for lack of a better word. Bella's natural reaction to kick instead of try to scream had taken me quite by surprise, and a little sore if I were being completely honest. Bella's sense of humor was equally unpredictable. Who knew someone who looked as completely innocent as her would purposely take someone like Emmett into a sex shop? Not even I would have thought that one up on my best day.

And of course Emmett had been a complete riot. It was blatantly obvious that he adored Rosalie. It was also fairly obvious that she was interested in him as well. Why, then, were the two of them not an item? Perhaps I could enlist Rosalie's help in winning over Bella in exchange for help uniting her and Emmett. It seemed a fair trade to me.

So when Jasper, Emmett, and I went back to Jasper's place after the disastrous Spencer's incident, I began planting the seeds of thought for him. There were always two ways to work an angle. Considering that he was Bella's cousin and obviously infatuated with Rosalie, it seemed a reasonable place to start.

"So, Emmett," I began casually. "Do you usually hit women in the head with giant dicks?"

Jasper started laughing as Emmett cursed under his breath. "I didn't mean for it to hit her. I just wanted to play with her a little."

"I think we all know that," Jasper chimed in while shaking his head.

"What? No! You know that's not what I mean. What I mean is, well okay maybe that too, but I meant I was just trying to make her laugh," he stammered out.

"So you admit that you are attracted to her?" I pressed.

He glanced back at me and held up two fingers. "Two things, Edward. One, I know you were raised all prim and proper but seriously? Lose the uptight vocab. Two," he continued, ticking the second finger. "I like her, yea. But she lives in Washington and I go to school in California. So just stop whatever it is that you're thinking about."

I pursed my lips and nodded at him. Apparently going through Rosalie would be the better option. Although if he really was that attracted to her I didn't truly understand why he would not pursue her. It wouldn't have stopped me from pursuing Bella. Unless, perhaps he was one of those types that can't commit to a woman without a physical relationship. That seemed likely.

"Is it because of the distance or because you aren't that interested?" I asked.

"Distance," Jasper answered without hesitation.

Emmett punched him in the arm. Hard, from what I could see. I was very grateful for the space between our seats at the moment. He glared at Jasper for a short second before turning back to me with a wicked gleam in his eye.

"So when were you going to admit that your humping my cousin?"

Years of practice were called in at that moment as I held a perfect poker face. "I most definitely am not humping your cousin," I answered calmly. Humping, no. That just seemed so… animal. Fucking her senseless? Well, that was another story and one I hoped to repeat.

His eyes narrowed at me and he shook his head. "You're definitely doing her. If I can't get it out of you I can definitely get it out of her."

Now there he had me. Bella definitely wore her emotions on her face. This was obviously a losing battle for me. The best I could hope for was that he was merely giving me a hard time and that he was not truly opposed to the naughty things that I had planned for Bella once I was alone with her again.

"Tell you what," he said in a suspicious tone. "I'll ignore it for both of your benefit's if you can convince Bella to get some dirt on Rosalie."

Now that was an interesting bargain. "You mean you want to watch Rosalie and your cousin mud-wrestle?" I questioned, more to piss him off than anything. He had been pulling my leg after all.

"What? I… no! Well, Rosie maybe, but not Bella." He paused and looked at me thoughtfully. "You think she'd mud-wrestle?"

"I seriously hope you're referring to Rosalie," I replied.

"Maybe I could buy her a little brown bikini for it. That way she won't have to worry about staining it or anything. Or maybe she'd want a white one. She's look hot in white."

He looked oddly intrigued by this idea, more so than I cared to dwell on. "So if I can manage to persuade Rosalie to agree to this ridiculous mud-wrestling fantasy of yours, you'll look the other way in regards to my situation with Bella?" I had to ask for clarification, and to pull him from his fantasies. From the look in his eyes, he was two seconds away from public masturbation.

"Oh, yea, sure thing," he muttered absentmindedly as he adjusted himself through his pants. This only served to confirm my previous theory about public masturbation.

We arrived at Jasper's place a short time later. It was the typical bachelor pad. He had the basic necessities when it came to furniture. There was nothing but a loaf of bread and beer in the fridge. It was almost surprising that Alice let him get away with such a minimalistic approach. Then again, whenever he proposed I was sure that his lifestyle would change. Since we were planning on staying awhile I took the opportunity to drive to the store- the only grocery store in town- to buy a few things to grill for dinner while Jasper and Emmett watched whatever game was on the TV. Twenty minutes and twenty five bucks later and I had everything that we needed to make burgers and hot dogs along with sodas as an alternative to Jasper's all-American beer.

Emmett fired up the grill claiming that only manly men should be allowed to handle such powerful things. Apparently the fact that I spoke fluent French detracted from my manliness. If only he realized just how many women I attracted with that one asset. I scoffed at him but didn't argue. That only meant that I was free to swim laps to enhance my muscle tone. It wouldn't hurt my feelings any.

After a couple of laps it appeared Emmett bellowed out that I was "chicking up the pool" because I wasn't lounging with a beer in hand or doing ridiculous stunts off the diving board. Never one to back down from a challenge and bored as hell without Bella, I agreed to his little contest. He did the typical cannon ball that resulted in a tidal wave of a splash. I rolled my eyes but repeated his performance. Never forget that hitting the water at that velocity with your cheeks spread can be a dangerous thing. I should know. At least no one could see me extract my shorts from my ass underwater. Emmett followed next with a messy back flip. I smirked as I prepared for a front flip. When I emerged from the water the girls were lined up at the door and applauding. Bella was slightly flushed and staring at my chest. I grinned and decided to have a little fun with her. I sent a nice splash in her direction.

She jumped back and squealed. "You got me wet!" she exclaimed.

I licked my lips and looked up at her. "You didn't complain last time I did."

She stomped her foot in frustration and ran inside while Alice and Rosalie laughed as they followed. It didn't take much to get her flustered, or worked up for that matter. When she didn't immediately come back I began to worry that I had upset her too much. I stood to go in after her when the door opened again. Bella came out wearing a tiny blue bikini. The bottoms tied on her hips and the top was no more than tiny triangles hiding the most perfect breasts in the world. It was all I could do to not rip it off her that moment.

"So," she said shyly. Rosalie nudged her in the shoulder. She looked me right in the eyes with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "You mentioned something about me not complaining when you get me… wet?" Umm… I do believe I did. However, words escaped me so I just nodded. She pursed her lips and smiled at me. "Do you want me… wet… now?" Again, visuals of her dripping wet, flooded my mind. I nodded at her, already planning to fuck her with that naughty bikini on and then again without it.

Bella dove in and surfaced at the other end of the pool. "Well, I'm wet now. Venir et m'obtenir.ʺ

Edward Cullen does not back down from a challenge. I swam directly towards her with definite purpose. She backed up until she sat on the steps in the shallow end. She was my prey and I stalked toward her. Nothing could distract me from my hunt.

"I'd rather shit knives! You hit me in the head with a damn dildo, jackass!"

Except for that.

We all looked over to see Rosalie smack Emmett in the back of the head while he stared at her ass as she jumped into the pool. She surfaced and looked back at him with a smug expression. "Now you know what I look like when I'm all wet. Think about that back in California."

His jaw dropped and Jasper laughed while smacking him on the back. Alice shook her head and stepped daintily into the pool next to Bella. She whispered something in her ear while looking directly at me. Bella looked up at me and smirked. That couldn't be good. What the hell had happened to me stalking my very delicious looking prey?

"Edward," Bella practically purred. She stood up and walked slowly towards me through the water. The waves rippled around her, making her look nearly like a goddess of water. "You look tense." Her eyes openly roamed my body. "Maybe I should give you a massage. You know, to ease the… tension."

Massage? As in Bella's hands on my body? Now that I was definitely up for.

I settled on to the second step of the pool and Bella sat on the step just above me. My back rested between her spread thighs. I was debating in my mind whether or not this was a good idea. After all, Bella's legs were spread and she was wet. I was between them, but not in the way that I really wanted to be. Her hands glided over my shoulders and gave a gentle squeeze. It actually felt pretty good so I just relaxed as she worked my muscles. I closed my eyes and gave in to the sensation when I heard a low moan right next to my ear. My eyes flew open and I looked over to see Bella leaning down next to me with her eyes closed and her lips slightly parted. It reminded me of her 'O' face and, regardless of the water temperature, I was instantly hard.

"Bella," I rasped out. "I think that's enough. Maybe I should massage you now?"

I was half pleading at that point. Her hands on me coupled with that moan was almost too much. I was going to take her on that step in front of everyone if she kept it up. Because I was definitely keeping it "up" now.

"You're still so tense," she replied calmly.

Before I could think to stop her she had swung around so that she was straddling me on the step. Her hands came to rest on my chest and she squeezed with her thighs. I sucked in a deep breath and firmly planted my hands on the step that I was seated on. If she wasn't careful she was going to have her bluff called in front of her friends and family and I, for one, wouldn't be the least bit ashamed. A man can only take so much teasing before he just needs to give in and fuck something senseless. Bella was just one shimmy-shake away from said breaking point.

"Edward," she whispered with a giggle. Oh yes, she knew exactly what she was doing to me. "You need to relax. Let me make you feel good."

Oh hell! Forget manners! This devil in a blue bikini was trying to get me worked up. Now I just had to figure out how to get the upper hand in the situation. Speaking of hands…

My hands gripped her thighs tightly and my thumbs rubbed lazy circles on the insides dangerously near her center. She sucked in a quick breath and looked at me with brief panic. Apparently vixen didn't like her bluff being called.

"You know, Bella," I whispered back to her. "There is one thing that always helps me to relax. Perhaps you might help me. Then again, I might prefer to help you relax instead." My fingers pressed in harder and a little higher as I said this.

"Great gooey giblets, you two!" Alice shouted behind us. "Either take it to the car or knock it off."

I groaned in defeat. Of course Bella would have cockblocking friends after her little stunt. It must all be part of her master plan. Although I couldn't, for the life of me, understand why avoiding me for months only to attempt to seduce me would be a plan. Not that I was going to argue with it either way. It just didn't make much sense. Still, though, it was best that we separate before I went all caveman and dragged her by the ankles to a back room. That might score me man-points with Emmett though. He looked a bit like the caveman type. I snorted over that thought. Rosalie would probably enjoy seeing him dressed as a caveman for Halloween. Knowing Emmett, he would probably be going commando under his leopard skin outfit. I shuddered at that thought.

"Hey Rosalie," I called out to distract myself from the thought of Emmett sans undergarments.

"What's up sugar nut?"

Sugar nut? What the hell? "Umm… excuse me?"

"Oh you know," she said absently. "Since you're nuts must be sugary for Bella to be all over them. She's got a real sweet tooth you know."

Bella, who was now seated right next to me, blushed furiously and sent a large splash in Rosalie's direction. I smirked. Teasing Bella was definitely my favorite hobby.

"She does, does she?"

"Oh yea," Rosalie replied. "She goes totally ape shit over chocolate sauce. Don't even get me started on her and whipped cream. It's like she has some sick fantasy about…"

"Thank you very much, Rosalie," Bella hissed.

Damn. I really wanted to hear whatever Rosalie was about to reveal. It sounded like a recipe for a very enjoyable evening.

"And you should see her after she gets out of the shower," Alice continued. "It's like she was just ripped from a really naughty fantasy the way she is all flustered. I mean seriously, Bella? Who the hell takes half hour showers? I know you need to scrub and exfoliate but you're tiny, it shouldn't take that long." She paused and smirked. "Unless you're too afraid that Charlie will hear all your moans if you don't have the shower to muffle the sound. Has he given you 'the talk' yet?"

Bella looked absolutely mortified. While I was definitely enjoying all of the information that her loose-lipped friends were sharing, I figured I could play the gentleman's role and save her from the embarrassment.

"I'm sure Bella just enjoys a nice hot shower to relax," I suggested with a wink in her direction.

"Oh I'm sure it's relaxing," Rosalie said with a giggle.

Bella glared daggers at her friend. "At least my food products are still safe for consumption," she said in an eerily calm voice.

Rosalie blanched and Emmett's ear pricked up. "Hey, Rosie! Would you like a hot dog? Or maybe a sausage?"

"Actually, Rosalie is on a diet," Bella answered for her with a smirk. "Maybe you could get her a cucumber instead?"

"Bella masturbated in Jasper's backseat!" Rosalie shouted.

I was shocked. Apparently Bella was too.

"You what?!" Alice shrieked.

"Alice loves to watch porn!" Bella yelled. Jasper's eyes widened before a lazy smile appeared.

"Bella has a secret collection of dildos!" Now that was interesting.

"That's it, Blondie! You're going in!"

Bella launched herself at Rosalie and they both fell into the water kicking and screaming. When they came up they were both sputtering and laughing. At least they weren't at each others throats. Although I wouldn't have minded watching them wrestle. Not in the least. And I'm fairly certain Emmett would have enjoyed it as well.

"Well, ladies, that was interesting," Emmett boomed.

Rosalie rolled her eyes but was smiling. "Next time join the party, big boy."

His eyes widened. "Seriously?"

"No, dumbass. I'm still pissed at you so don't even think about moving back to Washington."

I got out and walked over to the cooler to grab a drink. "Think she's serious?" Emmett asked quietly.

"I honestly don't know, Em. You did hit her in the head with a giant dick. Most women don't like that."

He laughed a little and walked over towards Rosalie. That man was definitely going to get his ass kicked by a girl if he wasn't careful. And I hoped I was there when he did because I was determined to score my man-card back even if it meant stealing his.

Bella eventually got out of the water and all but ran towards me. Apparently whatever conversation Rosalie and Emmett were having was more than her ears could handle. Can't say I blamed her. Those two were teetering on the edge of killing each other or ripping each other's clothes off.

"So, um, Rose and Alice were just joking you know," she mumbled.

I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. "Of course they were," I agreed. Then I bent down low to whisper into her ear. "And I can't wait to experiment with that collection of yours."

"Whoa there, big boy," she said while pressing her hand on my chest and taking a step back. She was obviously embarrassed but trying to regain control. "No one sees Perfect Peter without taking me on a date."

Well if that wasn't the perfect invitation. "Then I'll take you out, say, Tuesday night?" That would give me the chance to spend time with my parents before they got suspicious. And a middle of the week date would be far more private than a weekend one anyway.

"Tuesday?" she squeaked. "I didn't mean… I mean what I meant… ugh! You don't have to take me out you know." She stomped and crossed her arms over her chest. How adorable. She couldn't even look angry without being cute.

"I know," I replied smoothly. "I want to take you out."
"Oh."

"And after that, I really want to see that collection," I added with a quick wink.

A/N You know the drill. If you loved it, review!

venir et m'obtenir- Come and get me