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Chapter 4: Connected

Ana woke energized and refreshed at 5:30 in the morning absolutely ready to face the day. She had slept better last night than she had in months. Climbing out of bed and stretching, she couldn't pinpoint the exciting feeling she had. She stood in front of the mirror feeling, well different maybe even somewhat sexy. Her hair disarrayed, her eyes bright, and she looked relaxed even felt it. She turned to admire her profile to see if maybe something had changed. No. Nothing. Still Ana. She shrugged her shoulders and started her shower before making way to her closet to find an outfit. Something fitted, she thought as she walked into her closet. Something that she was never undecided on was clothing and jewelry. Going through her dresses, she stopped at the perfect one. One that was appropriate for work and with a little added flair to her makeup she could play it up a bit. She ran her fingers down the front of the tan Burberry dress and tugged a little at the bow in front; her favorite decoration of the dress. Her favorite black pumps for work were in their usual spot on the shelf and she brought both of them to her bed and laid them flat. The droplets of water hit her skin with relief as she remembered with ease what happened last night. His sudden change in attitude shook her a bit but it intrigued her more than anything. She didn't know how she didn't realize before: his arrogance. After years of people watching, studying those around her with the same wealth she had and seeing the difference between arrogance and confidence. Arrogance she had learned was a mask usually so thick that what lay beneath it would shock anyone who hadn't noticed. The rest of her shower she wondered what potentially laid underneath Christian's.

She threw on her lace thong and her la perla bra. For a virgin, she probably had the sexiest undergarments of anyone but she would only have the best and she learned quickly that her tastes were for anything feminine. It was the only piece of clothing she could truly have complete control over. Everything else she wore for work or events. She dried her hair and inserted her large rollers finally getting her make-up out. Her foundation and contouring were always the same and never changed. She generally would throw on some mascara, blush, and lipstick and be done but those smoky dark blue shadows were teasing her from her makeup bag. Her makeup artist had spent days teaching her how to apply make-up when she was fifteen; another class her mother requested she attend. She tapped her fingers nervously on the countertop debating whether to attempt the eye shadow or not. Feeling bold, she took the eye shadow and applied it, keeping it simple but of course it enhanced her blue eyes making them wider, more appealing. Her face had a way of letting a little makeup transform her from innocent to indelicate. This was out of norm for her. Finally realizing the differences in her morning routine, she became nervous over analyzing the entire thing before her phone went off. She hurried over, hoping it to be Christian but feeling semi disappointed that it was just a work email. Sighing at the time she applied her mascara forgoing eyeliner so she didn't seem even more suggestive and threw on her dress and shoes. Taking the rollers out and applying hairspray only took a minute and she was finally walking out the door.

"Woah." She heard Kate say from the kitchen as she walked past. Falling into her default stance because she was no longer in the safe haven of her bedroom, she offered Kate a look of acknowledgement. "Your make-up is different." She replied to her look of annoyance.

"I felt bold today." She replied before leaving the apartment already regretting her decision. Hoping that no one else would comment, she met their driver at the front of the building and climbed into the Town Car.

Christian sat in his Bentley annoyed, exhausted, and wishing he had cancelled with Ana. He couldn't sleep at all and maybe got an hour in before giving up and playing the piano. Fucking ridiculous day at work didn't help either. He rubbed his temples exerting enough pressure to try and pop his fucking head. It was all because of her. The racing thoughts and anxiety he felt about doing anything sexual that didn't involve his playroom was fucking with his mind. If Gail hadn't looked like she was floating on cloud nine this morning, he would have definitely cancelled. Pulling up outside of her building, he watched the door for her. He had texted about five minutes back so it shouldn't take long. He saw her emerge and he hung his head in defeat. Rejecting her and the idea of being with her was getting increasingly fucking harder. Her tan dress hugged her body and the way she walked confidently in those pumps would have him at his knees if he were standing out there. There was something different about her not more confident but she looked more aware of her body and the way it moved. She was stopped by an older woman and as always she stood in her normal refined manner offering complete attention to who she was speaking to. When she approached the car more he noticed her makeup. Her eyes were brighter today with her dark shadow and his chest felt like it might explode. Taylor opened the door for her as he watched her smooth legs glide in first with her body following suit. She placed her purse on the floor and looked at him; grimacing a little as she did.

"Hi. Are you feeling okay? We can postpone dinner." She could have been telling him she wanted him to fuck her with a flogger with how sensual her eyes looked tonight.

"Uh. Yeah. I'm fine. A very long day." She settled back into the seat and he watched her decide between her rigid posture and a relaxed one. To his dismay she chose the former. He couldn't settle his thoughts enough to offer good conversation and she sat like a fucking stoic mannequin staring out of the window. He wondered if last night would have this effect. Fuck him, he was bad company tonight. He should have definitely cancelled. Thankful for the phone calls he was receiving, he answered them all hoping to kill the time until they arrived to Escala. Between the both of them, she seemed to be the more confident one in the car.

As they walked out of the elevator into the inviting aromas of Gail's cooking, he saw Ana smile brightly. They approached the kitchen where Gail was standing and he introduced her.

"Gail, this is Ana. Ana, Gail." Ana held her hand out and Gail surprised them both by taking her into an embrace.

"It is so nice to meet you." He would have felt bad if it weren't funny to see Ana caught off guard.

"As you. Dinner smells absolutely delicious. You look as though you have truly outdone yourself." She complemented Gail and he watched Gail's cheeks blush.

"Well, if you want I can bring the appetizer into the living room along with your drinks."

"Actually Gail, I'm going to show Ana the library first if you want to bring them there." Gail nodded at him and he took Ana's purse from her. The fucking thing weighed enough and he wondered how that small body of hers carried it around. God damn it, he was tired. When he turned around to lead her, he had to stop at how excited she looked. Her eyes were bright with intense passion adding yet another image for him to jerk off to later. Taking a deep breath and walking the very thin line of sanity, he placed his hand at her lower back and led her to the library. Opening the door, he knew he would forever hold the memory of bringing her in here. Her eyes widened and her breathing stopped for seconds.

"Christian!" She had her manicured hand at her chest in surprise. Breaking away from him she stepped to the wall of books and ran her fingers down the spines eyeing them with admiration. "This is magnificent and the books, they are beautiful." She uttered breathlessly looking around the room in awe and he felt the exact same way about his view. He watched her eyes dart over the covers of the books and he knew he had bought rare and exquisite books but the way she looked at them you would think God handwrote each one.

"I could curl up in here forever." She commented as she continued her walk around the room stopping at the only thing he really ever used in the room.

"What's this?" She asked and he walked over and touched the screen.

"This has the largest music selection ever along with one of the best sound systems money could buy integrated throughout this room." She stilled a little at how close he was standing and she quickly moved away from him walking towards the books again.

"Do you have a favorite song?" He asked wanting to know more about her and wanting to fill the silence.

"I do. I don't know if you would like it." She spoke before turning around and seeing that he still stood with a questioning look. "It's Trent Dabbs, Turn Our Eyes Away."

He quickly typed in the artist and song name as she resumed pulling out books and sighing in admiration. Finding it, he hit play expecting it to be something about flowers and shit. The piano started with a breathy male voice following soon after. He stopped and listened to the lyrics while he watched her from across the room.

I'm a broken soul, I'm an open book.

With many torn out pages.

And I walk through fire, but I thirst for truth.

For what I've never tasted.

And it calls to me again.

The comfort of the sin.

Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.

From this path we've taken, washing clean our faces.

Turn our eyes away, turn our eyes away.

Leaning on the hope that, one day, even we.

Oh, one day, even we will be saved.

I got a war inside, with a flag in hand.

I'll wait to cry surrender.

While the pride in me, is fighting who I am.

Why is it that I linger?

I guess every man decides to take or save a life.

He stood shocked at the lyrics that someone as sheltered and innocent as her could connect to a song like this. And did she ever connect. He saw her, eyes closed, and for the first time he saw pain; intense pain on her face. Fuckkkkk me, he whined not knowing how he would ever be able to sleep again. She hid something beneath all that etiquette and innocence something dark and painful and it all began to make sense.

Ana felt Christian's breath on her neck as his presence brought her out of the song she had grown accustomed to getting lost in. His arms came around her waist, taking the book from her hands, and returning it to the shelf in front of them. Her heart sank at how vulnerable she probably looked but within this room and the song, she didn't care. His fingers grazed her neck as he hooked her hair and exposed her neck to him. Reacting to the heat of his breath, she angled her head giving him approval. Her legs quivered with the heat of the moment and her breathing became shaky as his lips met her skin. It was more than hormones, pheromones, and any other chemical instigator. They connected within that moment as she could feel his need for touch. This song did it to her too. He drew her closer to him, his kisses growing with intensity and her heart raced at the same speed she nervously tapped her fingers with. It felt more intimate than sexual which only enhanced her feelings, scaring her. It was too early to feel anything this intense for someone. He kissed up her neck and jaw, turning her head towards him, and rendering her thoughts useless. She turned to see his eyes pained and confused. God, he looked exhausted. Her hands grabbed his face shakily and for the first time she kissed him. He didn't respond initially but she continued against her better judgment. She, for some reason, knew he needed this to know that she wanted him. As she pushed her tongue through he finally awoke from the same painful place she had been in. He pushed her up against the shelves, kissing her taking her lips from her and her tongue. His hands roamed wondrously all over her body and the heat that surged through her almost brought her to the floor. She could only grab his shoulders as his large body covered her with every molecule of air filled with dominance. She had to clench her thighs together at how strong the urge was to grind against him. Trance. She was here again, in the clouds, her nerves bubbling closer to the surface to feel more of him.

"Here are some seared scallops and your champagne." Gail's kind voice stopped them immediately as Christians forehead landed on her chest breathlessly.

"Thank you Gail." She spoke back calmly who was now quickly trying to escape the library. Christian pushed away from her and she took a deep breath finally able to now that her lips were free from his. He walked over and grabbed the champagne as she sat in one of the chairs giving her legs the rest they needed. Being handed the glass of champagne she took a quick swig hoping it would bring her back down but it didn't. Her body was on fire with an intense ache at her sex. Christian sat against the couch looking even worse than before and she wished he would just sleep.

"I'm sorry." He grumbled and he took one of the scallops into his mouth. What she would give to replace that scallop. Shaken by the uncharacteristic thought but they kept coming at her. She wanted to sit on the couch with him, take his face in her hands and kiss him again but instead she waited to see if his aggressive behavior would emerge again.

"It's okay. Would you like to go lie down before dinner? I don't mind waiting in here and I'm sure Gail wouldn't mind if we ate later."

"No. I'm fine." Well, obviously his angry tone said otherwise but she knew not to press the issue further. Truly, she shouldn't have mentioned anything at all if she were acting like a lady at all. She took a scallop and ate it noticing the smile of approval from him as she did. A knock on the door had them both looking at it confused.

"Dinner's ready." Gail's voice said nervously before they heard her footsteps and Ana couldn't help but let a small laugh out. Christian stood slowly and as before kept his hand at her lower back to lead her out. It was a protective motion she had learned from the times she watched men do the same leading a woman through a crowd. They both sat at the table as Gail presented them with broiled salmon on top of a quinoa salad. It smelled as delicious as it looked. She ate with her usual etiquette and her usual posture as he offered no room for conversation. He almost looked too exhausted to even think let alone engage in a discussion so she sat quietly and entertained herself throughout the entire dinner. As they finished, she was thankful they didn't have desert. Despite knowing that she should never clear her plate, she ate to help pass the time and silence until all that was left were tiny remnants of Quinoa.

"I should probably be escorted home." She didn't want to upset him more by bringing his exhaustion up again.

"No. We still have to discuss your ideas." He snapped at her and the words of her etiquette teacher, always allow a man's anger to roll off your body like butter on toast because it's most likely not about you, helped her stay. She took out the folder from her tote and joined him in the living room. His taste was somewhat cold when it came to décor. Mostly white walls with scattered beautiful art showcasing the paintings but even those paintings seemed pained. She began to talk about the community service hours they could offer to teaching students at the universities for tutoring at the community centers. His breathing slowed and his eyes blinked slower as she continued. Not wanting to stop and give him the impression he was being rude, she kept talking. It only took five minutes before he was fast asleep and she gathered her papers back into the folder. Staring at him as he slept left her with her thoughts again; the ones that were telling her she proceeded into deep waters failing to find her footing along the way. She stood and walked over to him knowing that the snoring meant she could help him without him waking. Her hands grabbed his shoulders, admiring the thick hard broadness of them, and she guided him down slowly, pulling a cushion under his head as she did. He was much heavier than she expected but dead weight wasn't something she was familiar with. Her fingers grazed his face before she could stop herself. His smooth skin teased hers and she moved up to run her hands through his hair; the copper color shining between her fingers. She brushed the hair off his forehead and kissed him softly. Taking a deep breath and moving away she covered him with a throw that hung loosely on the couch. She grabbed her things and stared at him once more, drinking in the image of him sleeping and she headed for the elevator.

Sitting in bed finally feeling comfortable in a nightgown and her luscious duvet covering her, she took out some of the design covers of books to go over and read some of the new typescripts of her authors. She wasn't tired tonight and taking her mind off Christian with work seemed appropriate. Her phone began to ring and she smiled at Christian's name appearing on her screen.

"Hello." She answered calmly even though her nerves felt like dancing fireworks.

"Hi, I'm sorry I fell asleep. Mind if I come over?" He asked and he still didn't sound rested which she quickly decided she didn't want to deal with.

"I don't think so. It's getting pretty late." She replied with certainty.

"I'm here already."